Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Kim Karsashian's Butt, or Things That Are Overrated

I have to admit that I wanted to put "Kim Kardashian's Butt" in the title of my blog post to see if it ups traffic to my blog.  I mean, how many people are "Googling" that, I wonder.

 


But with that as my ulterior motive, it did get me to thinking about things that really are overrated, Kim's butt included.  I mean, c'mon, since when is a big butt a good thing?  Is it OK to have a big butt if you are a celebrity, but if it's my big butt, I'm just fat?

What else is overrated?

How about truffle oil? 

Restaurants are putting truffle oil on practically everything these days.  Don't get Hubby started on truffle oil fries.  He is a frites connoisseur (that's just fancy talk for he really likes French fries), but will shun them if they contain a speck of truffle oil.  A truffle is a fungus, for god's sake.  Most of the time if someone asked you, "Do you want to eat some fungus?" you would probably say "ick."  But because truffles are a delicacy to some (mostly the French), why, let's slather our fries with the flavor of truffles.

Something else that I think is highly overrated is morning.

I know as a person of a certain age, I should thank my lucky stars every morning that I am still alive and kicking, and I know there are those of you who are morning people, who love nothing more than to pop open your eyes and jump out of bed to greet the day (Hubby is like that, damn him!).  But those two things apart, IN GENERAL, mornings suck. 

First of all, mornings require that you get out of bed.  That right there is a problem considering I was up until 2am with my best friend Pinot Gris. 

But even if I went to bed at a reasonable hour stone cold sober, I would still lounge around in bed until at least 9am, because I am just not a morning person. 

Sometimes I can't even contemplate the routine:  Get up, potty, brush teeth, make bed, put in contacts, figure out what to wear, put clothes on, go downstairs to the sound of barking dogs who want their morning treat (how did I get myselt into that?), and try to be civil to Hubby. It's too much. So just best to stay in bed.  

Before I retired, mornings also implied work - something I was required to get up and do.  How I did that for 40 years, I will never know because now that I am retired, my true nature has kicked in and my true nature is a night owl who likes to sleep until at least 9am and get up when I feel like it.

As an avid concert goer, I have also determined that sitting in the front row is overrated. 

I always thought if I was in the front row, I would get to high five my rock idols, receive a guitar pick or even get pulled up on stage.  Well, not only does that NOT happen when you sit in the front row, you are lucky if the performer even looks down at you.  No, their eyes are scanning the vastness of the crowd that has come to see THEM. 



All you get to do in the front row is look up at them in adoration.  No, it works best to sit somewhere in the middle and then if you are allowed to gather at the foot of the stage during the encore, some of your dreams might be realized. 

Going down into the "mosh pit," so to speak, I have high-fived a Beatle (Ringo), shared a moment with my guitar idol Steve Lukather (I said "You're fabulous!" to him as he went off stage and he mouthed "You're Fab-u-lous" back - or I think he did),



I have a drum stick from the drummer from INXS



and a guitar pick from Steve Miller.  And that's just in the last couple of years. 

"Groupiedom" dies hard.

 
 


Double sinks in the bathroom are also overrated.
 
I can't believe how many times someone rejects a house on "House Hunters," because there are not two sinks in the master bathroom.  

Does that mean those people brush their teeth together?  If not, what do you need two sinks for?  Do they need a sink that is their very own so that they won't share cooties?  I don't get it. I have been married for over 30 years and I think that one of the secrets of our success is that we DON'T brush out teeth together.   We not only don't brush our teeth together, we don't get ready together. Why would we want to be in there together? We not only don't get ready together, we don't talk in the morning either. I told you I wasn't a morning person.

 
Security Systems are overrated.

You are afraid of being burgled so you spend a bunch of money to have everything wired and then someone breaks in when you are gone and an alarm goes off.  So what?  By the time the cops arrive, especially if you live in the 'burbs,' the bad guys have run off with your stuff.  Here is what I think is the best deterrent for burglars.




Now this might be teensy weensy controversial, but I think that Summer is very overrated. 

Here in Seattle, we have had the longest and most beautiful summer we have experienced in the ten years we have lived here.  But now I am ready for some gloom (check back with me in a few months when it starts getting dark at 4pm.  I might change my mind).

Having been born with highly sun sensitive skin, I am not a sun worshiper. I burn to a crisp with the slightest sun exposure. My brother used to call me Casper the Friendly Ghost, because my skin was so white so I never liked to wear shorts or expose my skin much.



And I wasn't too happy with him calling me that. My brother was fond of nicknames.  He called our mother Witch Hazel.  That didn't go over so big either.

I grew up on Lake Michigan and I can't swim so you would never mistake me for a beach bunny.  My arms are fat so I don't like to wear sleeveless clothes, and I would rather sit in a smoky café and talk about Sartre than commune with nature.  (Speaking of which, I consider myself an existentialist.  I am so existential, I even flunked my existentialism class in college). And unrelenting sun depresses me.  So Summer and I don't get along that well.

I also think that Shakespeare is overrated.

Now I know that will raise the ire in lovers of literature.  As an actress, I played Miranda in "The Tempest" and I have done my share of Shakespeare study over the years. I know he supposedly thought of all seven possible plot lines, but I find reading him and watching his plays tedious.  Maybe I'm just not that smart. But give me a well-written biography or a seat for "West Side Story" and I'm there.



Finally, I think that working is overrated.  I like being retired.

Now I am going to sit back on my fat butt and see how many people find my blog by Googling "Kim Kardashian's Butt."
 
What do you think is overrated?



That's it for this week!



Thanks for reading!




See you Friday for the usual

"Week in Reviews." 

I will also tell you about my new job and get you caught up on how I am doing with my 

"Life Changing List."  


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8 comments :

  1. Working and Kim's butt - definitely overrated! Her butt is so big she looks deformed - is that sexy? I hope not! Great pic of my favorite 3 alarms!

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    1. Thanks, Scout! Kim's even put on some weight since that picture so now her but is ginormous. Though I should talk!

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  2. Overrated: Goat cheese (or chevre if you prefer), 4x4's unless you live somewhere that actually necessitates leaving a nicely paved road, overabundance of tattoos on non-edgy people (dig the look on edgy people), butt-exposing low ride pants on guys (do you not realize how stupid you look as you waddle on by in your attempts to keep them up?), denim shorts shorts so short the pocket linings poke out, denim short shorts on legs that should NOT be exposed (love the look on gals with gorgeous gams, and that are young enough to carry them off), hair extensions (everywhere here in the OC), botoxed faces (also everywhere here in the OC).

    Must admit I do love some of your overrated selections, namely front row theater seats (you did specify concerts, so perhaps that makes a difference), mornings and, to a degree, Shakespeare. He was brilliant, and I think it's important to understand why. After which I agree that you can set him aside and mark off as 'done', so perhaps we agree more than not on that one. :-)

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    1. Good ones, Tamara. Gosh, I agree about the 4 x 4's for sure. I love your comments about the OC - what do you think of the "Housewives?"

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    2. That I love Javier's and El Moro Canyon as much as they seem to. The difference is we can walk to both from our $50 a night Crystal Cove campsite, rather than drive there from our $$$illion dollar Newport Coast home. Truth be told, though, I'd rather have the $$$illion dollar home!

      Seriously, there is much pressure to look a certain way if you call Newport Beach home. There is a specific look that money does indeed buy. We appreciate that we have a BMW to pull out for our forays into Newport, and certainly I wouldn't think of going there without being completely made up. Interestingly, kooky next door Laguna Beach, and laid back next door Huntington Beach are nothing like Newport Beach. It really is a class in and of itself.

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    3. My daughter-in-law grew up in Newport Beach, but she doesn't embody that whole ethos. Glad she and my son live in the East Bay.

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  3. This season, I definitely think Tamara Barney is overrated.

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    1. Tamara is this year's designated villain, I think. I still like her. Vicki is the one I can't abide.

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