Stuff That Should NOT Happen

Something happened last night that made me think there are some things that just should not happen.

Last night I was innocently standing in the kitchen surrounded by my loved ones - my husband and three dogs - when all of a sudden I felt this sharp pain in my leg.  I looked down and saw a puncture wound and blood.  I realized I had been in the middle of a skirmish between my beloved little toy poodle and our collie.  The poodle was trying to wrest a plastic carton containing the dregs of potato salad from the collie and in so doing I had unwittingly become part of the argument and my beloved little poodle had sunk his choppers into my leg. 

He looks very innocent here.

I know it was the poodle because the plastic carton was missing and he was now under the dining room chair.  I could see the tuft of his tail peeking out from under it. And it was wagging. 

My leg hurt, but what hurt most was the reality that he was really a dog, not my new little son who would take the pain of the empty nest away.  I realized when push came to shove he would always choose the plastic carton with the remnants of potato salad in it over me, no matter how many times he sits on my lap or acts happy to see me when I come home or how many times I give him a slug of wine, and that if I get in the way, my leg will be toast.

That just shouldn’t happen.

 

So I started to think about other stuff that should not happen like…

• School buses.  They should not be allowed to operate when I am out doing errands or in a hurry to get somewhere.  I know the little tykes need to get to school but we adults have enough stress to deal with besides sitting  behind a stopped school bus waiting for a mom to wind up her chatty conversation with the bus driver when we are late and we are trying to get to a meeting or happy hour somewhere. Those buses seem to be on the road at all hours of the day and especially when I am out there with them. Why can’t these kids walk to school?  I had to.

• Gaining weight just because we are getting old. We should not gain weight just because we are a few years older.  We may be eating right and not making any changes to our diet at all, but whether we like it or not, at each additional decade to our lives, another decade of pounds will likely appear because our metabolism slows down in direct ratio to our age going up.  Now, I guess there are those of you out there who saw that coming and made the necessary adjustments to your calorie intake.  Well, good for you.  But how much fun is that?  It's bad enough getting old.  Can't we take our rocky road ice cream on the journey with us? 

• Bad grammar.  I know it's probably too late to care, but what in hell has happened to our use of the English language?  Don't we speak English and didn't we learn the nuances of its use in practically 10 years of schooling? So why can't we speak it then?  Why don't we know the difference between "less" and "fewer?"  Why do we say "your" when we mean "you're?"  Why don't we use "to" and "too" correctly? Why is it so difficult to tell the difference between "there," "their" and "they're?"  And if you want to be taken seriously, don't say you want to be taken serious. And why the hell can't we spell?  It's a crime.  My mother's parents were Swedish immigrants but my mother is partly responsible for my command of the English language.  She was a stickler on that.  


• On a more serious note and speaking of my mother - Warehousing old people. That should not happen. My son is a real tease.  He loves to pick out old peoples' homes for me.  Once when we were walking around Lake Merritt in Oakland (CA), he noticed one called The Rose of Sharon and said, "That looks like a nice place, Mom."  Thanks.  It's a bit of a joke now, but it's not going to be funny in a few years.  I am not talking about people who choose assisted living and have the means to be taken care of.  I'm talking about not having the means and ending up in a nursing home, sharing a room with a stranger, being taken care of by people who couldn't care less and ending your days with no dignity.  That happened to my mother. 





       I am privileged now to live in a county that has services to help people
       "age in place" and that is what all of us deserve.  Because of my mother,
       I am motivated to volunteer my time working on issues that affect the
       aged. I am a member of the Council on Aging and think of my mother
       every day and how I can help people live their best lives to the very end.
       No one should have to be put somewhere he or she doesn't want to be
       because no one wants the trouble of caring for them. That would be heresy
       in some countries where being old is revered.  Here, not so much. Here we
       become invisible after 50.  That shouldn't happen.




My Mother at 86
• And here is my library plug.  Libraries should not have to cut hours or close branches, ever. Cutting library hours or worse yet, closing libraries not only shouldn’t happen, it is a travesty and a blow to democracy. Equal access to information is a basic right in a democratic society. Not everyone can buy books, newspapers, rent DVDs, subscribe to magazines, go to the movie theatre.  Not everyone has a computer and Internet access.  And every child does not have a quiet environment in which to study. Public libraries level the playing field.  Use of public libraries is free and not limited by race, religion, income, age, disability or education. Libraries should be supported, especially now when libraries are needed more than ever in these tough times.


• I could go on and on about stuff that should not happen.  Leaving cabinet doors open in the kitchen, putting something down the garbage disposal and then it gets stopped up and you have to call a plumber, thunderstorms when you have a stair walk planned, people picket fencing when driving on the highway (Hubby's term for one car in the left lane, one in the right and they are driving as if they are walking hand in hand and no one can get by them), mornings (I hate getting up). 



• Oh, and this probably shouldn't happen either.



 
 




 
 I take full responsibility.
 
You may have noticed that I have given you the blessing of a mercifully short blog post.  Well, a short one for me anyway. 

Why? 

Because for the last two weeks I have been enjoying the company of my daughter and her husband who visited us from Virginia and my son, daughter-in-law and two grandsons who we visited in California.
We shared the joys of Seattle stair walking with our daughter and her husband,




went bike riding, played games, attended an outdoor Jeff Beck and ZZ Top concert (stay tuned for my concert round-up post at the end of the summer),





discovered a great new restaurant (Marination Ma Kai in West Seattle), played games and they cooked us a delicious meal.


 
 
When we visited our son and his family in California, my daughter-in-law treated me to a pedicure and a shopping excursion, they fixed us a lovely dinner, we dined out and we enjoyed playing with our grandsons, especially feeding the ducks. 









A highlight was playing Apples to Apples and letting the three year old take part.  He can't read yet and probably doesn't understand the sarcasm, metaphors and humor that can make up that game, but he almost beat us!  We now could write the family version for all ages!


 

 
So instead of writing my blog, I have been basking in the joys that my family can bring.  Talking, hanging out, playing with the grandchildren, sharing our lives.
And that's the stuff that SHOULD happen.


 
 


Thanks for Reading!

See you Friday for
 
"My Driving Pet Peeves"

and

The Week in Reviews






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Dressing Well on a Fixed Budget and The Week in Reviews

[I review the new film "The Hundred Foot Journey," the DVDs "Crazy Horse" and "Memory" and the Book of the Week is Anjelica Huston's memoir "A Story Lately Told."]

But First

One thing I have noticed since I retired is that I look like hell most of the time.

But it's not my fault.  I just don't have the money to spend on clothes anymore.

Well, I also have gotten so lazy that it's all I can do to put on sweats.  But I really do want to look good.  I really do.

So how do I look good on a limited clothing budget? 


Here are some things I have discovered.

• Forever 21 and H & M.  I'm not kidding.  Even women of a certain age can find some deals there. They have on-trend duds for next to nothing.  Rumor has it that the clothes are so poorly made they will fall apart in next to no time, but, who cares?  You would hit those stores for up to the minute clothes, not classics you want to last forever.  They are great places for trendy tights, scarves, and denim jackets. And don't be put off by the fact that they cater to the younger set.  Just say you are shopping for your daughter (or granddaughter).

• Buy a scarf or other accessory that doesn't cost much.  It will make you feel like you have something new without paying a lot of money. 

• One word.  Shoes.

New inexpensive on trend shoes can pick up the dreariest of duds.

• Repurpose the clothes you already have.  Think outside the box.  Why not wear that old mini dress (I know you still have one of those) over leggings or jeans?  Or add new buttons to a cardigan or coat.  Shorten a long skirt.  Or better yet, borrow something from Hubby, like this hat.

• Take some of your "old" clothes to a consignment shop.  I have just recently discovered the joys of consignment to the tune of almost $200.  Then I take that $200 to the mall and go crazy!

• Goodwill.  Or some other thrift store.  You wouldn't believe what people just give away to these places.  I have never found an Oscar de la Renta or anything like that (rumor has it that those are skimmed off the top for larger events or sold to the more upscale used clothing stores), but you never know.  While you are there, you can also pick up something for your dog.

I know.  Cheap laugh that I couldn't resist.

What do you do to save money on clothes

but still remain stylish?

Now on to The Week in Reviews

***In Theatres Now***

The Hundred Foot Journey

The Kadam family loses their restaurant in Mumbai and head to Europe to try to start over.

Hassan Kadam (Manish Dayal) has a chef's palate from an early age as he learned to cook next to his mother in their family restaurant in Mumbai.  When the restaurant is attacked and burned down, his mother is killed and the family tries to start over in Europe, first in England, then in France.  Their car breaks down near the small French village of Lumiere and that is where Papa (Om Puri) decides to settle down and open another restaurant.  Unfortunately, it is across the street and 100 feet from a Michelin starred restaurant owned by Madame Mallory (Helen Mirren) and she is not happy to have them there nor will Papa let her stop them.  It's war.

In the meantime, Hassan becomes fascinated with French cuisine and is more and more drawn to Madame Mallory and what it takes to attain a Michelin star.  Her sou chef Marguerite is also a draw for Hassan and feeds his desire to become a true chef.

The road that divides the two warring restaurants is 100 feet wide and acts as not just a metaphor for the divide between the two restaurants and their food but between the generations, between youth and adulthood and between cultures. 

Just as Dorothy discovered in "The Wizard of Oz," sometimes happiness lies in your own backyard.

Lasse Halstrom ("Cider House Rules") directs this sumptuous feast of love and food based on the book by the same name. 

Movie fans might recognize Puri from "The Reluctant Fundamentalist," which I reviewed favorably in 2013, and he is a great foil for Mirren, who has perfected the imperious woman with the cold exterior but soft heart.  When Kadam refers to her imperiousness as acting like a queen, it's a fun reference to her many stints as Queen Elizabeth. Mirren is such a remarkable actress that she can express just the right emotion with her back to the screen.

This marks the first big screen leading role for Manish Dayal and he makes a wonderfully sensitive leading man and Charlotte Le Bon as Marguerite is a new fresh face who was delightful in this role.  The love story between these two had a subtle twist and was much less predictable than most.

Rosy the Reviewer says...Helen Mirren, Paris and the gorgeous French countryside and food porn.  How delicious.

***DVDS***
You Might Have Missed

And Some You Should Be Glad You Did

(I see the bad ones so you don't have to)

Crazy Horse (2011)

Directed by Documentarian Frederick Wiseman ("Independent Lens"), this is a cinema verite behind the scenes look at The Crazy Horse Saloon in Paris that claims to have the best nude dancing show in the world, offering stylish, erotic and chic nude dancing.

"Le Crazy" has been around since 1951 when this kind of soft core burlesque would have been ooh-la-la.  Now in this time of nudity and graphic sex that is so commonplace, it seems rather tame and old-fashioned.

Wiseman was given unprecedented access to French choreographer Philippe Decouflé and his staff as they prepare for a new revue called Désirs.  Production meetings are interspersed with actual performances. We get to see what it takes to put on a show like this and the pressures that are brought to bear to keep things fresh and new and please the investors.  But with no narration or historical perspective, we don't really learn anything much about the theatre or the history of The Crazy Horse.

Wiseman is the creator of over 40 documentaries and here has produced a documentary that is neither erotic nor particularly interesting.  It's clear he wants us to take this art form seriously, but it's almost too serious in its wanting to be taken seriously. Remember those Aerobicise segments that used to come on in the early days of Showtime that were more soft porn than exercise?  That's what this documentary reminded me of - close ups of writhing body parts interspersed with business meetings. The audition segment was a good one, but a female cattle call in the truest sense.

Rosy the Reviewer says...if you like to look at beautiful naked women, this is for you.  Otherwise, there isn't much more to this film than that. (subtitles)

Memory (2006)

A medical researcher in the field of Alzheimer's pricks his finger on some Amazonian tribal powder and starts seeing things that happened before he was born.

Billy Zane plays Dr. Taylor Briggs who is doing good work in the Amazon when he gets some mysterious powder into his system and starts channeling the mind of a serial killer from years before.  The killer kidnaps little girls and makes plaster casts of their faces before killing them and the killer is still out there, continuing to kidnap little girls.  For some reason the good doctor thinks this serial killer could be his own father, whom he never knew. When he tries to tell his friends and family what is happening to him, of course no one believes him so he is forced to solve this mystery on his own, which he predictably does. 

The movie asks the question, "What if our DNA stored the memories of our parents?"  Answer?  Who cares. 

Another question is, whatever happened to Billy Zane?  He has leading man good looks and is a decent actor, but somehow decent roles have eluded him and he doesn't seem to care either.  But with four movies in the can and six in pre-production, perhaps he will break out.  He's been at this since 1985, but maybe he is just a slow started.

The movie poster makes this movie look scary.  If only.  It's a muddled mess with nothing much explained.

Dennis Hopper and Ann-Margret have roles.  Not sure why they needed Dennis Hopper.  I figured out what Ann-Margaret was doing there early on.  You will too.  In any kind of detective story or murder mystery, I always ask myself.  Why is this character in this film?  When you ask yourself that question, that person is usually the killer.  Pretty predictable stuff.

Sadly, it's not "memorable."  Get it?

Rosy the Reviewer says...if you are a fan of Lifetime Movies, you might like this.  But just remember, there is a reason some movies go straight to DVD.  This is one of them.

***Book of the Week***

A Story Lately Told: Coming of Age in Ireland, London and New York by Anjelica Huston (2013)

The daughter of director John Huston and an Academy Award winning actress in her own right, Huston shares the story of her early years.

Huston came from Hollywood Royalty.  Her grandfather was famous character actor Walter Huston and her father was John Huston, director of such classics as "The African Queen," "The Maltese Falcon" and "The Misfits."  She was raised by her ballerina mother on an Irish estate where her father brought an array of famous friends, from Carson McCullers and John Steinbeck to Peter O’Toole and Marlon Brando.

They all move to London in the early 60's, but her parents separate, which devastates her. But it's the Swinging Sixties and Huston tells of encounters with the Rolling Stones and Fleetwood Mac. She understudies Marianne Faithfull in Hamlet.  But at seventeen, she is devastated once again when her mother dies in a car crash.

She moves to New York, falls in love with the much older, brilliant but disturbed photographer and becomes a model.

"A Story Lately Told" ends as Huston launches her Hollywood life. A sequel that will take up where we left off ("Watch Me") will be coming out in November.  I can't wait.

Rosy the Reviewer says...a well-written memoir with a style reminiscent of Hemingway.  For movie mavens and Baby Boomers who enjoyed the Swinging Sixties. 

That's it for this week!

Thanks for reading!

See you Tuesday for

"Stuff that Should Not Happen"

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Check your local library for DVDs and books mentioned.

Note:  Next time you are wondering whether or not to watch a particular film, check out my reviews on IMDB (The International Movie Database). 

Here is a quick link to get to all of them.  Choose the film you are interested in and then scroll down the list of reviewers to find "Rosy the Reviewer."
 

Or you can go directly to IMDB.  

Find the page for the movie, click on "Explore More" on the right side panel and then scroll down to "External Reviews."  Look for "Rosy the Reviewer" on the list. Or if you are using a mobile device, look for "Critics Reviews." Click on that and you will find me alphabetically under "Rosy the Reviewer."

A Retired Librarian's Perfect Day

As you know from reading my blog, I recently retired from my career as a librarian.  There are many misconceptions about what librarians do, e.g. we don't read on the job and we don't usually shush people.

 

For most of my career, I managed a public library so right there, the stereotype ends, because when you manage anything, whether it's a library or a corporation, your job becomes about managing people, buildings, problem solving and all of those skills that it takes to manage. And that is usually in tandem with daily tasks that need to be done or customer service duties.  A manager can't walk in the door in the morning without being bombarded with the day's issues.  And for library managers it is not different.

 

When I was working, I also wrote a blog and the following is a take on some wishful thinking.

 

A Librarian's Perfect Day

 

6am

I wake up and the sun is streaming into my bedroom.  There is not a cloud in the sky and it is already 75 degrees outside. I weigh myself and I have lost 10 pounds since yesterday.  Excellent!

I get dressed, eat breakfast and skip happily out to my car with my nonfat, sugar free caramel latte (with no whip), excited to head for work.

7am

I arrive at the library early to teach a computer class. The class is full and everyone has just the level of skills needed to get the most out of the class. No one says, "I've never touched a computer before and I have no idea how to even type."  We are teaching a new Computer Basics class that includes how to post resumes to websites, how to send email attachments, cut and paste, etc., all of the skills we get asked about during the course of our work day.   At the end of class, one student says, “I’ve learned more today in 15 minutes than a full-day’s class that I took somewhere else.”  Sweet!

8am

When I am finished with my computer class, everyone scheduled has arrived, ready for work.  No one calls in sick; no one has to leave early.  Everyone is eager and happy to work.  In fact, several staff members take the time to come to my office to tell me how much they appreciate me.

10am

We open the doors and 50 people are waiting to come in, all smiling.  Even the guy who does his back exercises in the restroom is coherent today.

I am at the reference desk when a staff member tells me I am needed in the lobby.  A customer wants to tell me something about the restroom.  That’s OK, because I am even wearing my toilet-plunging shoes today.  But no worries.  The customer wants to tell me how beautiful the library is, how clean the restrooms are and how much she loves the display we have in our lobby display case. 

11am

I look around the library, and I see a mother sitting in our rocking chair with her toddler on her lap.  She is reading “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” to her little girl and they both are laughing. 

There are several other small children in the children’s area.  Their parents are all with them and none of the children are crying or running up and down the aisles screaming.

A gentleman approaches and says he has a question he knows I won’t be able to answer, but he thought he would try anyway.  When I pull up the answer in a matter of seconds, he smiles, shakes my hand, and walks away saying, “This library is the best thing since sliced bread. I am going to tell all of my friends.”

12:30pm

After lunch, I go out for a walk through our new Farmer’s Market which is in front of the library every Thursday.  Everyone I encounter knows my name and everyone uses the library and thinks it's great. 

1pm

I return to the reference desk and answer several more questions during the afternoon, amazing all who ask.

4:30pm

As the day draws to a close, I look up from the desk and there is Tom Cruise.  He asks me where the pencil sharpener is.  I show him and he tells me about the movie he wants to make at my library.  He had heard about the library and all of the interesting programs we had, such as our citizenship classes, our Russian and Spanish Family story times, and our Family Night at the Library, and he wants to do a movie about the library as a community gathering place. 

He asks if I would like to go to dinner with him to discuss the possibilities.

I say yes.  He had me at “Where’s the pencil sharpener?”

This would have been a librarian’s perfect day.

 

I never said it ever happened this way.

 

 

So that is what a perfect day in my old life would have been like.

 

Now that I am retired,

here is a retired librarian's perfect day.

 

8am

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

9am

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

10am

I arise (if I feel like it). There is not a cloud in the sky and it is already 75 degrees outside. I weigh myself and I have lost 10 pounds since yesterday.  Excellent!

10:30am
Meditate.  My purpose in life becomes clear.

 

11am
Read the newspaper and some magazines.  I am struck by one particular article that says scientists and dieticians had been wrong all of this time:  wine and chocolate do not have calories and in fact have a palliative effect.  It also went on to say that exercising at the gym did no good so you might as well forget about it.


Noon
I call the gym to cancel my membership.  I take little Tarquin for a walk instead.

 

 

1pm

I collect the mail and there is a letter from Social Security saying they are giving me another $1000 per month just because they heard what a wonderful person I was.


2pm
I get a call from Publisher's Clearinghouse.  I have won the big prize even though I never bought any magazines or sent in the entry form.


3pm
The house cleans itself.



4pm
Guilt free wine and chocolate Happy Hour with Hubby!

 

 

 

5pm

Hubby says, "Let me take you out to dinner at one of the finest restaurants in Seattle - and no expenses spared!"

"What is the occasion?" I ask.

"No special occasion," he replies, "Except that you are wonderful and I am the luckiest man in the world."

 

 

 Canlis

7pm

Both of our adult children call and tell us they miss us so much they plan to fit us into their busy schedules and call us every day to share their lives with us and to ask our advice.  The grandchildren both tell us how much they love us.

 

8pm
Watch a little television with Hubby and he doesn't fall asleep once.

 
9pm

The Lifetime Channel is having a marathon of some of my favorites (see my blog post "Lifetime Movies:  A Baby Boomer's Appreciation for the best of the best and the worst of the worst).

And Tori says she only had a nose job?

 

 

11pm

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.  Hi, Tom.

 

When you are retired, it's the little things.

 

 

What would your perfect day be like?

 

 

See you Friday

 

For

 

"Dressing Well on a Fixed Budget"

and

The Week in Reviews

 

 

 

Thanks for reading!

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to click on the share buttons to share it on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and LinkedIn, 

email it to your friends and

LIKE me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/rosythereviewer.