Tuesday, November 18, 2014

My Menopause

C'mon.  You don't need to go "ew." 

Especially you guys.  You have your own version of this.

If I can write about my colonoscopy (which I did), I can certainly write about this.  And, really, it's much less gory.

I was inspired by a book I just finished, "The Madwoman in the Volvo, My Year of Raging Hormones" by Sandra Tsing Loh. 



It's a humorous account of Loh's navigation of "the change."  Hers included an affair, the end of her marriage and managing a nutty 89-year-old father, not to mention the physical issues that come with menopause. 

So being the impressionable little thing that I am, reading her account made me look back on my own journey, which covered much more than a year and, I thought, I too could provide some insight. 

However, my journey was far less extreme and dramatic.

I just got fat, mad and kind of crazy. 

And I wasn't mad about being fat.  I was just really mad...about everything and kind of crazy all of the time.

There was a reason my "handle" on my son's pager (remember those?) was 666.  I thought that one up, because I thought it was funny (you know, Mom calling and we hate that, you know like the devil, you know...), but I think that was my unconscious realization that the devil had somehow gotten into the details of my life, but I didn't know why.

Likewise, with menopause, especially the years leading up to it, it slowly creeps up on you and you don't really realize what is happening until suddenly Aunt Flo doesn't come to visit anymore - ever.  Anyway, that's what happened to me.

It all started in my mid-40's.  I don't remember anything earth shattering like hot flashes, but looking back I see that I was "changing" and had been for some time.

How else can I explain staying up until three in the morning watching old game shows like "I've Got a Secret" and "What's My Line?"  And I had to be at work the next morning. I cried when the Game Show Network stopped showing them.




Or getting up in the middle of the night with heartburn that I was sure was a real heart condition and thinking that having a glass of wine would solve the problem,

Or walking over to Trader Joe's (it was across the street) in my robe ("No one will notice"),

Or my one woman crusade to make sure the people who worked at Trader Joe's did not park on my street.  For some reason, having those cars parked in front of my house made me crazy (Gee, I wonder why), and I not only wrote letters to the management of Trader Joe's, I would yell at people from my front porch,

Or making my kids sleep with me when Hubby traveled because I was sure if a bad guy broke in, he wouldn't kill me with two little kids sleeping in the bed with me,

Or standing in the Safeway line and suddenly feeling like I would die if I didn't leave immediately,

Or on my Friday off (I had every other Friday off), cleaning the house and then shutting all of the curtains and sitting in the dark living room watching movies for the rest of the day (hey, I still do that!),

Or the shouting matches with my teenage son.

It's a wonder I wasn't found wandering the neighborhood in my nightgown mumbling in some language I had made up.

Looking back on all of that, I can only shake my head and wonder what the hell was I thinking?

Well the answer was, I wasn't thinking.  My hormones were ordering me around.

And because I didn't really have any physical symptoms (except for that middle of the night heartburn and those panic attacks), I didn't realize what was happening and didn't know to ask for any treatment from my doctor. I thought it was just ME.

You see, I was always considered a bit "high strung," or that's what my parents would say about me when I would get upset at my brother teasing me at the dinner table and stomp upstairs and lock myself in the bathroom. 

That said, I was now a career woman, a mother.  I could juggle many plates, dammit.  I wasn't prone to prowling around in the middle of the night with my hair standing on end like Medusa and my eyes spinning in my head.  What the hell was going on?

That is why the onset of menopause is so insidious.

I think perimenopause (that period, pardon the pun, leading up to "the big finish") and menopause are kind of like Alzheimer's.  I'm not being disrespectful here. Hear me out. There is the crazed part of it, but, like Alzheimer's, you don't really know you have it until it's all over. The last thing we women want to believe is that we are getting old, because menopause is for old ladies, right?  In the case of Alzheimer's, you could be diagnosed with it, but until you are dead and they analyze your brain, you don't really know for sure.  You could just be demented. 

So at 45, I thought I was too young for Alzheimer's so I just thought I was a demented person.

By the time I finally had my hormone levels checked and started taking hormones, that big study came out that said hormone treatment was linked to heart attacks, so that was enough for me to ditch the pills (things have changed since then).  Besides, I wasn't much into taking pills anyway.  This here girl was pioneer and Swedish stock!  I can beat this thing.

If you find yourself in similar circumstances and exhibiting similar behaviors, take note.  The time has come.  But don't beat yourself up.  You can't help it.  I recommend doing anything and everything you deem appropriate to help you get through it.

But here is the sobering part of all of this.

As Loh points out in her book, when we are very young, we are detached.  It's all about ourselves. But as our hormones kick in, we then become attached as we seek mates and have our children. Once we are no longer able to procreate and our children have left the nest, our bodies and minds go back to being detached, not needing to nurture anyone but ourselves once again. 

However, many of us modern Baby Boomer women didn't live that "normal" biological and chronological clock of a typical woman from an earlier generation:  get married and have children in her twenties, "begin to detach in her forties...Her grown-up (say eighteen year old) children are leaving the nest; her perhaps slightly older (say sixty-ish) husband is transitioning into gardening and fishing; her aged parents have conveniently died." 

So that was an easier menopause because at least many of life's stresses had already passed when it was time to detach.

But Loh goes on to say that doesn't fit the new normal of the late-boomer/Gen X women who put their careers first and didn't get married until their thirties, got pregnant in their late 30's or early 40's, and with medical advancements, their parents are still alive.  So that means just when our bodies are telling us to detach, we still have kids at home and parents to take care of. 

No wonder we go nuts.

That is what happened to me.

The full cycle of perimenopause to menopause to post-menopause can take up to ten years.  So when I think that in the midst of those years when my body was changing from a fertile young thing into a wild-eyed crone, both of my parents went through illness or institutionalization and then died and, my son was 15-25 and my daughter was 10-20, formative years to say the least.  

No wonder I remember big eyes in the back seat when I was on a tirade or that they don't seem to share a lot of happy family memories. No wonder they now say, "You know how you are," when neither has lived with me for over 10 years, and I don't know what they are talking about.  How am I?

I was a madwoman in a Mustang.
(no Volvos for me).

But according to Loh and to me, there is good news for those of you who are suffering or about to. 

It gets better. 

I think that is what I am here to impart, because you know, I am all about providing a public service.

I'm still fat, but I'm not angry anymore, and I like to think I'm no longer crazy, though that could be up for debate.

It does get better. 

Most of those nasty hormonal symptoms do eventually go away.

You do get to detach (as in spending time with yourself). 

And with age comes some perks.

We women of a certain age come to  realize:

It's not as important as it once was to be a skinny bitch. In fact, a little extra junk in the trunk is known to prolong life, save your face and keep you from BEING a bitch.

It's not as important to have a clean house because who do we need to impress anymore?  Hubby would rather have a cheerful companion than an angry cleaning lady in a clean house. 

It's not as important to care what people think. 
It's called "The I-Don't-Give-A-Sh*t-Anymore-Syndrome."  It hits around 60.

It's not as important to be a Super Woman if we ever were.  It's important to be your own hero.

You now have the time to be grateful - for all of it.


What IS important is to make peace with yourself:
body, mind and spirit.


You will come out the other side.

Now I'm the old, but no longer mad,
woman in the Mustang!





Thanks for Reading!
 
See you Friday
for my review of the new movie

"Interstellar." 



If you enjoyed this post, feel free to click on the share buttons to share it on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and LinkedIn, email it to your friends and LIKE me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/rosythereviewer





Friday, November 14, 2014

"Birdman" and The Week in Reviews

[I review the new movie "Birdman" as well as the DVDs "Some Girl(s)," "Land Ho" and "The One I Love," as well as the book "The Phantom of Fifth Avenue." I will also keep you informed on my progress with my "1001 Movies I Must See Before I Die Project" and share my "A-HA Moment of the Week"]




Birdman, (Or The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)


 
 
An aging movie action superhero tries to reinvent himself in a Broadway play. 
 
Riggen Thomson (Michael Keaton) is producing, directing and starring in a Broadway show from a Raymond Carver short story ("What We Talk About When We Talk About Love") he has adapted.  In his younger days, he made his mark in the movies as "Birdman," but balked at a third sequel.  Now he is older, his hair is thinning, his physique is not what it once was, so he hopes to revive his career with a hit Broadway show. 

However, he is haunted by his alter ego, Birdman, who harangues him about what a failure he is.  When one of the actors in his play is hit on the head by a light, Riggen hires Mike Shiner (Edward Norton) to join the other cast members Lesley and Laura, played by Naomi Watts and Andrea Riseborough respectively. (Riseborough came to our attention playing Wallace Simpson in "W.E." ). Mike is an over the top method actor; Lesley is involved with Mike and Laura is involved with Riggen and thinks she is pregnant. Add to that Riggen's daughter, Sam (Emma Stone), who is just out of rehab and seems to hate him, so perhaps the rigors of a Broadway show are just too much for this aging Birdman.

Edward Norton has made a name for himself playing strange characters and his character here is no exception. He has been known to be an intense actor himself. Is he playing a parody of himself?
 
Zach Galafinakos, playing against type as Riggen's serious friend and attorney, Amy Ryan as Riggen's ex-wife and Lindsay Duncan ("Last Passenger," which I reviewed last week) as a vicious theatre critic round out the excellent cast.
 
When this film was first released, there was a great deal of buzz around it.  It was polarizing.  You would love it or hate it. 
 
Well, I am in the "loved it" camp. 
 
It's an inside look at the world of theatre while at the same time making a statement about its pretentiousness, how self-absorbed actors can be and the lack of tolerance for movies by "theatre people."  It asks what is the nature of celebrity?  Who gets to be a critic? What role does social media play in what we think?

Sounds deep?  It is, but it's also a comedy, though a dark one.
 
This is the latest film from Mexican director Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, the same man who brought us "Amores Perros," "21 Grams," "Babel," and "Biutiful," all very serious films, but he flexes his comedy, though dark comedy, muscles with this one.
 
Emmanuel Lubezki (the same guy at the camera helm in "Gravity" and for which he won an Oscar) is the cinematographer and his expertise almost turns the camera into another character, as it leans into conversations and private moments, bringing us right into the action flowing in front and behind the characters in almost one fluid take. The colors and clarity are gorgeous and capture the excitement of New York City. The soundtrack, with original score by Antonio Sanchez, also plays a starring role.  Most often it is just percussion, heightening the tension, but then a lovely recognizable classical piece comes along to give the viewer a breather. 
 
Michael Keaton is brilliant in his first starring role in six years, and it's not lost on the viewer that he himself played an action superhero, Batman - a Batman some feel was the best incarnation.  He captures the angst of a man in midlife crisis, even possibly insanity, in a top notch performance that will no doubt earn him an Oscar nominationHe is not afraid to let us see his receding hairline and wrinkles. Norton as well puts in another stellar performance and should get an Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actor.  I also wouldn't be surprised if director, cinematographer and score are also given nods.
This is a thinking person's film.  You might have to see it more than once to get all of the nuances.
 
Rosy the Reviewer says...One of the best of the year!
 
 
***DVDS***
You Might Have Missed
(And Some You Will Be Glad You Did)
 

Some Girl(s) (2013)


Before getting married, a young writer travels back to meet up with old girlfriends.

A thirty-something professor and writer (Adam Brody) known simply as "Man," meets with five ex-girlfriends to find out what they think of him now and to justify his past behavior.

He travels to his hometown of Seattle to meet with Sam (Jennifer Morrison), who was his high school sweetheart and who is still angry that he didn't take her to prom.  Then he's off to Chicago to see Tyler (Mia Maestro), a wild child whose expectations of him were small.  Then he's on to Boston to see Lindsay (Emily Watson), an older married woman who was one of his college colleagues.  Back in Seattle once again, he meets with Reggie (Zoe Kazan, granddaughter of legendary director Elia Kazan) who was the younger, much younger, sister of one of his friends (and there are unsettling hints at what went on between them when she was just 11), and finally Bobbi (Kristen Bell) who appears to be the one who got away and who Man still loves.

All of his meetings with the women take place in upscale hotel rooms creating a claustrophobic atmosphere.

Though he seeks redemption, how each woman remembers the relationship is wildly different from how he remembers it and as time goes by, what starts as him seeking forgiveness ends up showing how narcissistic he really is.

Based on a play by Neil LaBute, who captures the male sensibility so well and who also wrote "In The Company of Men," each encounter is a little dramatic, and sometimes comic, scene of its own and the cast delivers wonderful performances.  However, the dialogue and two-handers smack of watching a play rather than creating a satisfying cinematic experience.

Rosy the Reviewer says...Very talky and Man is such an idiotic cad, it's annoying and detracts from the excellent acting.  You decide.
 


Land Ho! (2014)



Two former brothers-in-law of a certain age take a road trip around Iceland.

Mitch (Earl Lynn Nelson) and Colin (Paul Eenhoorn) were brothers-in-law (their wives were sisters). They had lost touch but Mitch's wife has just died and Colin is divorced, so Mitch proposes this trip as a way for the two of them to get "their groove back" and get over their troubles:  Mitch's "grief" over his wife's death and Colin's grief over his alimony payments.

It's a buddy film with a twist.  These buddies are in their seventies.

Mitch is a gregarious, know-it-all, dirty old man type who makes raunchy inappropriate comments.  Colin is quieter and more thoughtful and therein lies the humor and the pathos that we are witness to as these men in the Golden Years of their lives decide to continue to live life to the fullest.

Nothing much happens as the two retirees traverse Iceland in a Hummer, but the scenery is breathtaking and the conversation between the two men is bawdy and entertaining. 

I was most interested in this, film because I have been  to Iceland and not many movies are set there.  It's always fun to watch a movie in a locale you are familiar with so you can say, "Oh, look, they are in the Blue Lagoon," or, "Hey, isn't that the restaurant we ate at?"

But this film is not about the destination.  It's a road trip movie about the journey and these two guys are each charming in their own way - Colin hitting on the young backpackers they hook up with (one is Mitch's younger second cousin); A tender moment between Mitch and a Canadian traveler they meet.  But mostly Mitch and Colin go to art galleries, smoke pot, get lost in the dark, and dance on the beach.

This indie film written and directed by Aaron Katz and Martha Stephens, seems improvised which gives it an almost documentary feel and the characters are slowly revealed through their conversations. Nelson is fairly new to the acting game, but he pulls out all of the stops here, and Eenhoorn is a veteran actor whose subtle responses to Nelson give just the right counterpoint. We get a glimpse of what it's like to be in your seventies and facing what's next, but only a glimpse.  There is not a lot of depth here.  But that's OK. It's a character driven piece and we are along for the ride.

Rosy the Reviewer says...This is a geriatric road trip that is fun for Colin and Mitch and for us as well.




The One I Love (2014)



A married couple seeking counseling are sent to a retreat where they literally meet their better selves.
 
Elizabeth Moss and Mark Duplass star as Sophie and Ethan, a couple who are trying to get their marriage back on track.  They go to a therapist (a very creepy Ted Danson), and he sends them to a beautiful retreat with a lovely main house and guesthouse to "reset."  However, they discover that when they go in the guesthouse, they are not alone.  They are met by dopplegangers of themselves, their better selves.  When each of them enters the guesthouse, each has an experience of how they wish the other would be. However, Sophie is drawn to the "new" Ethan and doesn't want to leave.
 
There are many unanswered questions such as what forces are at work here, but it doesn't really matter because this is a fun, engrossing two-hander with Moss and Duplass playing both versions of Ethan and Sophie.
 
I can't tell you how many DVDs I have watched and reviewed in the last year about doppelgangers.  Well, actually I can.  This is the fourth one.  We had "The Double," "Enemy," "Face of Love," and now this.  It's an interesting device but at this point, it's getting a bit old.
 
But Elizabeth Moss is wonderful here . She made her mark in "Madmen," but I have loved her ever since seeing her in "Top of the Lake" for which she won an Emmy  (and if you haven't seen it, do).
 
Rosy the Reviewer says...it's "Couples Therapy" meets "Twilight Zone."  If that sounds like fun to you, you will like this film.  It does to me and I loved this film.
 
 
 
 
***My 1001 Movies I Must See Before I Die Project***
 
 
 300 to go!
 
Viy (1967)
 

A young priest in 19th century Russia must spend three nights alone in a church praying for a young woman who he believes is a witch in this story by Nikolai Gogol.
 
This Russian adaptation of the Gogol short story stood as the only Russian "horror film" for many years.

Why It's a Must See:  "...Viy is a colorful, entertaining and genuinely frightening film of demons and witchcraft that boasts some remarkable special effects...the film truly amazes, as nightmarish creatures from beyond begin a parade across the screen.  They culminate with the appearance of the demon Viy, ,who, in the words of one reviewer, 'makes his entrance against a backdrop of one of the finest collections of ghoullies, ghosties, and long-leggity beasties' ever to appear in the movies."
---"1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die."

Sorry, even by 1967 standards, this was not at all "genuinely frightening," nor were the special effects "remarkable" nor did the film truly amaze.  In fact, the special effects looked like they could be from a movie filmed in the 1920's.  And Viy looked more like Jaba the Hut than anything scary and all of those ghoullies, ghosties and long-leggity beasties forming the finest collection?  It was done better in "Freaks" in 1932.  I found it all quite laughable and wasn't sure whether I was watching a comedy or not.  I don't think it was supposed to be a comedy.

Rosy the Reviewer says...I could die without seeing this one.  Oh, wait, I already saw it.  Oh, well. (subtitles)





Mother India (1957)


This three-hour epic tells the story of Radha, a woman who must overcome poverty and many obstacles to raise her sons.
 
Radha, played by Nargis, a beautiful Indian superstar, loses her husband and her land and must make a life for herself and her sons.  Despite many trials and tribulations, she never lets down her moral code, even when it comes to one of her sons.  The film follows Radha from her marriage into old age.
 
This film predates what we think of as Bollywood movies these days. I love Bollywood films.  It doesn't include the Bollywood dancing we have come to expect, but it has many songs scaled to Western tastes.  Despite some very overdramatic bug-eyed acting at times, this film is mesmerizing and Nargis is a gorgeous and sensitive actress.
 
Why it's a Must See: "...one of the few Indian films ever nominated for an Oscar...India's Gone With the Wind...one of the few films that can still draw audiences to theaters whenever it is screened.  It is the first Indian movie to which anyone with an interest in world cinema should turn."
---"1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die." 

Rosy the Reviewer says...I loved "Gone with the Wind" and I loved this.
(subtitles)


***Book of the Week***

 

The Phantom of Fifth Avenue:
The Mysterious Life and Scandalous Death of Heiress Huguette Clark by Meryl Gordon (2014)


Huguette Clark was one of the richest women in the United States and lived to be over 100, yet she lived as a recluse for much of her life and in a hospital room for the last 10 - and she wasn't sick. 

Huguette's father was William Andrews Clark, a copper mine magnate, the second richest man in America in the early 20th century.  Clark was not a very nice man and bribed his way into the Senate.  Huguette was worth over $50 million in her early 20's.  She married once to a Princeton man and that marriage lasted only two years.  A couple of failed romances followed and Huguette started to withdraw.  She collected dolls and relied upon just a few hangers on until she withdrew completely into a hospital room.

Rosy the Reviewer says...if you enjoy books about the very rich, you might enjoy this, but don't expect the riddle of why Huguette ended up as she did to be solved.  This book doesn't do it. 


***My A-HA Moment of the Week***


I don't like walking dogs.  I am a terrible dog owner (more at the end of the month when I realize once again, I will never change).


Thanks for Reading!

 

That's it for this week.

 

See you Tuesday

"My Menopause"

(What?  If I can talk about my colonoscopy, I can talk about menopause, right?)

 

 

 

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Check your local library for DVDs and books mentioned.

 

Note:  Next time you are wondering whether or not to watch a particular film, check out my reviews on IMDB (The International Movie Database). 


 

 

Here is a quick link to get to all of them.  Choose the film you are interested in and then scroll down the list of reviewers to find "Rosy the Reviewer."
 


Or you can go directly to IMDB.  

 

Find the page for the movie, click on "Explore More" on the right side panel and then scroll down to "External Reviews."  Look for "Rosy the Reviewer" on the list. Or if you are using a mobile device, look for "Critics Reviews." Click on that and you will find me alphabetically under "Rosy the Reviewer."

 

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Letting Myself Go: Questionable Fashion Choices for a Woman of a Certain Age and Size




OK I know what you are thinking, but it looked really cute in "Elle Magazine." 

What I didn't realize at the time was that it was probably on a 7 foot model who weighed about 120 pounds and was probably air brushed to boot.  However, when I see something in a magazine or catalog, I tend to think that's what it will look like on me. It's a weakness I have.

So I bought that coat and wore it on a recent trip to California.  At the place where we park our car at the airport, the attendant said to me, "That's some coat."

Now, let me say that whenever someone starts a comment about you with "That's some...," that is NOT a compliment.  "I like your coat" is a compliment.  "You look nice" is a compliment.  "That's some coat" is not a compliment.

So I should have been ready when we were going through security and the TSA person said to me, "Is that your dog?" 

"What?!" I replied.

She immediately realized she had mistaken the fur on the bottom of my coat for a dog.  We both had a laugh (I was crying inside).

I should have asked her if my "dog" made my butt look fat.


So that little incident made me think about my current fashion choices.

It's no surprise to anyone who knows me or who reads this blog that I consider myself a bit of a fashionista.  OK, basically I am a clothes horse, a hoarder, a shopaholic, whatever you want to call me.  It's been like that practically all of my life, probably since my Dad told me he thought it was perfectly reasonable for me to have a different outfit for every day of the week. That said, it wasn't difficult for me to make the stretch to have enough outfits that I would never need to wear the same thing ever again.

And I have never been afraid to embrace the latest styles, colors and fads.


At 13, I wore this cape to a football game.



I wasn't afraid to sport green shoes (they had pink trim to match the ensemble)


Big earrings were always my thing.


I embraced the famous "Sassoon" haircut when it was first popular.


I even went shorter when I was feeling "punk" and wanted to channel Annie Lennox (Hey, it was the 80's!)


I experimented with vintage dresses, armbands and headbands


Bell bottoms


 
And hats.

When you are young and slim, you can get away with a lot in fashion.

When you are a woman of a certain age and let's say, no longer thin, not so much.

For example, these shoes are hard to explain.


When you have to suck it in this much, probably not a good fit.



And when someone asks you if you are trying out for a part in "Wicked," probably not a good fashion choice.



And here I look like I am about to break into a song from "Snow White."



Does this hat make my head look fat?

 
And please, Lord, tell me I was wearing this to a costume party or a rodeo.
 
(I wasn't).

 
 
So you can see I have been dragged into old age kicking and screaming.  Some habits die hard.
 
One thing many of us women worry about as we age is "letting ourselves go." (You men should worry about it, too, but that's a whole different blog post.)
 
That usually means getting fat, lazy, not wearing make-up, going gray...I think it's even worse for the Baby Boom Generation because we didn't think we would ever get old.  They should have called us "The Peter Pan Generation."
 
But that's not a bad thing.  We may be in our 50's and 60's, but we aren't doing "old age" like our parents.  We may be retired, but our retirement is not our parents' retirement.
 
Ellen Goodman, in her last column upon her retirement after 46 years of writing, wrote about "Letting ourselves go," but she was not talking about getting old and fat.  She wanted to "reclaim" the phrase to mean something quite different.
 
She said, "Now, we find ourselves on the cutting edge of another huge social change. This time, it's the longevity revolution. Ours is the first generation to collectively cross the demarcation line of senior citizenship with actuarial tables on our side...We don't have a label yet to describe the early, active aging. But many of us are pausing to recalculate the purpose of a longer life. We are reinventing ourselves and society's expectations, just as we have throughout our lives."
 
So "letting ourselves go" can be a good thing because we are letting ourselves GO FOR IT.  Just as in our youth we were the generation of great social change, so will we be as we age.
 
I have enjoyed experimenting with fashion all of my life, and I am not stopping now.  Yes, I could lose a few pounds, yes, I will probably make more fashion mistakes, but I don't care. 
 
Because, whether it's fashion or life choices, I am going to continue to let myself go for it. 
 
 
 
Too much?

 
 
Thanks for Reading!
 
See you Friday
 
for my review of the new movie
 
"Birdman"
 
My Week in Reviews
 
and an update 

on my

 "1001 Movies I Must See Before I Die Project."
 
If you enjoyed this post, feel free to click on the share buttons to share it on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and LinkedIn, email it to your friends and LIKE me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/rosythereviewer