A Retired Baby Boomer Librarian's Bucket List

One dark and lonely night (we have a lot of those around here), I came upon the movie "The Bucket List."

Believe it or not, I had never heard that expression before.

A little research showed that there is not agreement on how old this phrase is. Some believe it originated with the movie. Others feel it has been around longer. But all agree, it is based on the phrase "kicking the bucket."

For those of you who haven't heard of this, the "bucket list" is that list of things you want to see or do before you "kick the bucket," ...er...die.

As a retired librarian, here is my "bucket list," first from a retired librarian's point of view:

• Before I die, I would like to see the librarian stereotype go away.

Throughout my career, when I have replied to the question about what I did for a living, I have had to hear comments like these:

"You don't look like a librarian,"

or

"You must read a lot of books (at work),"

or

"Shhhhh,"
(followed by chuckling because for some reason people get a kick out of themselves by saying that. I, on the other hand, do not).

Since during my career I interacted with librarians on a daily basis and saw the diversity that makes up the profession, it makes me wonder, "What is a librarian supposed to look like?"

But ask the "civilian," and nine times out of ten, you would probably hear her (librarians are stereotypically women) described as an intimidating, dowdy spinster wearing a bun and double-tread floor gripper shoes and whose only goal in life is to hush people up and be disapproving.

So my ultimate "bucket list" goal would be to see a movie starring a librarian as a sexy, superhero, flying about protecting people's free speech and right to read, pummeling censorship and basically teaching people good manners.

She is glamorous, yet practical (yes, it's a woman...we deserve superhero status), plucky (I love that word) and witty. She is also well-read (though she would never dream of reading books on the job), not just in the classics, but in popular culture as well. And she can match the "right book to the right person at the right time."

She never shushes anyone, though when battling the forces of evil, she sometimes must be blunt. As she stares down the bad guy, she says , "If you had just read that book I recommended, none of this would have happened!"

• I would like to see libraries viewed as educational institutions instead of the often mistaken view that they are only recreational entities.

Yes, people go to libraries for recreational reading and entertainment DVDs, but libraries are so much more than that. 

Libraries and librarians are also instrumental in getting children started on the road to literacy before they enter kindergarten. They offer homework help to children and teens in school, and they are there for the adult lifelong learner who needs to learn new skills.

When the money is handed out by the powers that be or a vote is needed to support library services, it should be a no brainer that libraries are as important as schools. 

Some libraries have actually closed due to lack of financial support.

That shouldn't happen in a country where education and literacy are so prized.

• I would like to leave this world with the knowledge that every man, woman and child not only uses the library, but knows what the library has to offer.

I have always thought that if people really knew what libraries offered, they would be pounding down the doors.

I never again want to hear someone nervously say to me, "I haven't been in a library in years" or "Why do I need the library?"

Libraries offer quality databases (and these are not the same as going on the Internet) that would help small business owners make more money, that include free online newspapers and magazines and information on a myriad of topics to help people with their research and daily lives and meeting rooms where the community can gather. Library web pages offer downloadable ebooks and other information while library programs include classes to help people with their English and computer skills, family events, I could go on and on.

All free and open to all.

But for some reason, despite hard work and attention to this, for every person who uses the library, there are many more who not only don't use the library, they have no idea what they offer.

• In retirement, find something as meaningful to do to replace my work as a librarian: 

as meaningful as protecting your right to information, as meaningful as getting children ready for school, as meaningful as helping newcomers attain U.S. citizenship, as meaningful as providing a community gathering place for people to share their ideas openly.  Those are just some of the things librarians in public libraries do. 

That will be difficult to replace.

As a retired librarian with 40 years under my belt, those are the items on my professional "bucket list."

However,  I am also human, so I have my personal "bucket list" too.

And, as usual, I am compelled to share.

• Win "The Amazing Race" with my husband as we bicker our way around the world.

• Kiss Chris Hemsworth.  He had me at "Rush."

       (I know he's married but so am I!)

•  Become a famous character actress

       (I've missed my chance to be an ingenue, I guess).

• Write a juicy best-selling book.

• Live my Reality TV dream. Star as "the old one" on "Big Brother" (new season premieres June 25) and win "Survivor," where I "Outwit, Outplay, and Outlast" them all wearing adorable swimsuits and cute sandals. (It's easy to lose weight on "Survivor".)

• Find out that face lifts don't hurt

       (and I can get one for free).

• Become fluent in Italian and drive my own boat glamourously through the canals of Venice as I head to my villa.

• Become a YouTube star (I am sure I could think of something stupid enough to do to get myself on there), and because of it, be interviewed by Oprah who then asks me to become her best friend. And she gives me my own show.

• Millions follow my blog

• Move to Paris

• Better yet, win the lottery so I could have homes in Paris, Venice, London, the English countryside, Victoria B.C, and wherever my children and grandchildren happen to be living so I can hang around them as much as I want.

 

Sigh. I guess those aren't very realistic - I guess that's my "dream" bucket list.

 

More realistically, if I can live near enough to my children that I can often enjoy them and the grandchildren, travel to Europe when I get the urge, stay well enough to bicycle in the Cotswolds, live comfortably, continue to make and keep good friends and hear more people say,

 

"I go to the library all of the time. I don't know what I would do without libraries."

 

and

 

"I think librarians are cool. You look just like one!"

 

Then I could die happy.

Make my day. 

Share some stories about how the library changed your life.

What's on YOUR Bucket List?

See you Friday for

"The Perfect Hotel Room"

 

Thanks for reading!

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What Makes You Happy?

If you read my blog, you already know I worship Oprah. 

So of course I get her "Thought for Today Newsletter" in my email.

It's a newsletter with all kinds of feel good articles, and last Tuesday, I noticed this one:  "9 Rules Happy Women Make (and Follow) by Amy Shearn.  It's an interesting list of rules, because they aren't the kinds of things you would think would be on such a list.

Here is a summary of her 9 rules that happy women make ...
and my comments:

1.  When you have two options, find a third. 
She uses an example of your being offered a job in Mexico.  You want the job, but you don't want to move.  You talk to a friend and she says, "Why not telecommute?"

OK, I get that, sort of.  But in this case, how often can most of us telecommute our jobs? 

As a librarian in a public library, that would have been a bit difficult, though there sure were times when I wished I could just click someone off when they were asking me a ridiculously stupid question.  "Oh, sorry, something must have happened to our connection.  I can't hear you."

2.  Always tent the bacon.
Actually, I never knew this.  If you fry your bacon by lifting up the center a bit, the center doesn't burn and the raw ends get cooked properly.  Her point being, steal nifty tricks from good cooks and others to make your life easier. It's the little things, after all.

Here is my nifty trick:

Keep all of your measuring spoons in a little jar on your counter or stove so they are handy, and likewise, your salt, pepper, spices and baking additives that you use all of the time, such as baking powder, in a cute little container like this one. 

You are very welcome.

 
3. Never skip morning sun.

We don't have sun in Seattle.

4.  Honor the someday list.
She says we all make to-do lists, those for what needs to be done right now and those others for what we wish to do "someday," such as travel to Prague or climb a mountain.  She says if you don't do the "someday" within six weeks, you never will.

So within six weeks, I need to live in England, write a novel and kiss Chris Hemsworth?  And if not, does that mean the "bucket list" will still be lying around after I really have kicked the bucket?

5.  Bring your own...
Cell phone charger, wine, whatever it is that you need to be comfortable and you would miss if you didn't.

She is so right here. 

I have a gallon size zip-lock baggie with my chargers, ear buds, armband to hold my phone so I can listen to music during exercise, book holder for the exercise equipment (I like to read on the elliptical), lint remover, reading light, scotch tape and wine bottle opener.  I grab the baggie and I am ready to go. I do the same thing with my make-up.  I have everything I need in the proper size baggies for airline scrutiny (though with my Nexus card I am a "Trusted Traveler" and get to use the TSA Pre-Check, which is life-changing by the way).  Put together your own must-haves similarly and packing for a trip is a breeze.

6.  Scootch as needed
She uses the example of her son building a Thomas the Train track one little track at a time, putting his train on the little track and then adding another track.  She wondered why he didn't complete the entire track before running the train on it.  Her point was:  everything doesn't need to be planned out before you get the "pleasure of scooching forward."

Mmmm

It makes me happier to plan things.  Sorry.

7.  Forget the breadstick.
Even if you started eating the bread, if the restaurant has bad lighting or anything else you don't like, it's OK to leave.

I would add, it's OK to ask to not be seated by the kitchen, the server station, the door or the restrooms. I have inherited my Dad's issues with restaurants.

8.  Sleep when you are depressed.
Rest will help your depression.

I thought depressed people couldn't get out of bed. 

9.  In 9-degree weather blow bubbles.
Somehow these little frozen bubbles are delightful and will help you forget it's 9-degrees below zero.

She lost me here.




But she is right that it's the little things that promote our happiness, and now that I am retired, that seems to be even more true.

However, despite the fact that some on this list seem frivolous and not necessary to my own happiness, it got me to thinking.

What makes me happy?

Here are my 10 rules for happiness
(I know it's supposed to be 9 but I like even numbers):

1.  People who know the rules of the road.
It makes me happy when people know how to drive.
For example, don't wave at me to go at a four-way stop when it's not my turn.
People, when we are both at a four-way stop, please don't wave for me to go. I know the rules of the road.  If we both get there at the same time, the person on the right gets to go.  Otherwise, first come, first served.  Don't wave for me to go if it's not my turn, because I won't go.  That doesn't make me happy.




And did you know that on a four-lane road, if you are on the far side of a school bus with its lights on and you are heading in the opposite direction, you do NOT need to stop?  Well, good, but no one here seems to know that.

2.  In a restaurant, being seated away from the kitchen, server station, the door or the restrooms makes me happy.  Likewise, when traveling, a hotel room away from the elevator, ice machine, vending machine or maid's storage room is a must (See Rule #4 below).
Someone has to have those crappy tables and rooms, but it ain't gonna be me.

3. My Nexus card.
When we first moved to Seattle, we planned to travel to Canada often, especially Victoria and Vancouver. 

We have actually been there often, but not as often as we would like.  While sitting in long lines at the border, we noticed a lane that said "Nexus" and there was never anyone in it.  After some research, I discovered that the Nexus card is given to "trusted travelers," who have been vetted by the State Department.  We applied and received one, and it's a life changer.  We zip across the border when the wait time for others could be up to three hours. 

An added bonus is that it works for TSA Pre-check, which means you can leave your shoes on and don't need to pull out your liquids or computer when going through security at the airport.  Makes flying a lot more pleasant.  That makes me happy.

4.  Sleeping-in.
(Which partly explains Rule #2 above).
Now that I am retired, I wonder how I ever got to work by 8 or 8:30am.  Sometimes I had to be somewhere at 7!  How was that possible?  It makes me happy each evening to know that I can get up whenever I want the next morning.  

However, my happy sleeping-in requires that the heat not be turned on, the dogs are kept away from the bedroom door (they scratch on it) and that Hubby not make too much noise (stay tuned for my blog in May celebrating 30 years of marriage, where I talk about what it takes to stay married that long).

5.  One "do anything day" a week.
I call that my catch up day...I catch up with my bad TV choices, look like crap and do whatever I want.  It's especially happy when the wine guzzling poodle chooses to spend that time with me.  He likes to watch "The View" too ( he won't watch "The Talk," though. He thinks it's derivative).

6.  Exploring.
Whether it's flying to Europe to explore or exploring in my own backyard via stair walks or trying a new restaurant, happiness is getting out there in the world and experiencing it up close and personal.  I talked about my love of stair walking in my blog "The Joys of Stair Walks" and one of my favorite vacations in "My Favorite Summer Vacation: My Narrow Boat Cruising Adventure in England."  I hope I am an explorer to the very end, because that makes me happy.

 

 

 

7.  Phone calls and Skyping with my adult children.
When your children grow up and move away, it is difficult to remain close.  Closeness requires creating a continuing history together, and we all know that long distance relationships don't work very well, not even with your children.  So effort needs to be made and being able to see each other or talk regularly helps. Getting to also see the grandchildren is an extra bonus.

8.  Grandchildren
Having grandchildren is not a do-over by any means, but having grandchildren allows you to enjoy those early childhood years that perhaps you were not able to fully enjoy because of what life threw at you when your own children were growing up.  I know that when I am around my little grandsons, I feel great happiness.

9.  Writing this blog
When the Internet first came onto the scene, I can remember thinking, "I am going to set up a webpage and flood the world with my philosophy of life." 

But I never did. 

I didn't learn HTML and was never particularly savvy about how to put together web pages.  And who had the time?  But then I started to write a blog for my library and enjoyed that, though other work obligations kept me from writing as often as I probably should have.

But now that I am retired, I find this to be something that brings me happiness. 

Retirement is a time to find out who you really are and to finally get to do things that you have always wanted to do. I always enjoyed writing, and I like to communicate. Writing a blog is an opportunity to express myself and hopefully, if I say something there that makes someone laugh or helps someone in some way, then that makes me happy. 

Whether it's a blog or inventing a new product or traveling the world, it's important for all of us to find our purpose in life.

I think that's what retirement is all about. 

You may retire from a daily job with its own rules and obligations, but you don't  "retire" from life. You don't retire from yourself. Retirement is an opportunity to spend that time alone with yourself to experiment, to discover who and what you really are, to find that meaning of life thing we all search for.

I will keep working on that.

But as Oprah often says, "One thing I know for sure..."

So my #10 rule for happiness?

Love and be loved.

 

I wish you all great happiness!

 

What Makes You Happy?

 

 

 

See you Friday for

 

"Must-See Biopics and The Week in Review"

Thanks for reading!

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to share it and/or email it to your friends.

Retirement Fashion Chic: Or, I Know You are Old But Do You Have To Look Like Crap?

 

When you retire and don't have  to be anywhere at any time, it takes effort just getting dressed every day.  You, Baby Boomer, believe it or not, you have gotten old.  You have packed on some pounds. You have wrinkles.

All of those things make it easy to wander around looking like crap. Why bother? you may ask.  Who is going to see me, except Hubby, and he doesn't count.  You just give up on yourself.

But I maintain that it is important to "act as if..." 

You may not have an 8-5 job anymore or meetings at your child's school or even a big social life, but that is the crucial word.  Life.  You have a life and it is important.  It is important to look good to feel good (did I say that or was it Billy Crystal?).

Even when you are retired, your life is still important.  YOU are still important, so you need to LOOK important.

You don't want to be caught dead going to Safeway in pajama bottoms and furry Skechers that look like bedroom slippers. You don't want to wear a robe all day.  Even for quick errands, it is important to look presentable. You never know who you will meet.  And you know what, Hubby does count, especially if you want him to stay interested in you.

"Acting as if..." means forgetting all of that dogma about age, retirement, fat and realizing you are still fabulous.  Or at least, act as if you are. It's all in your head.

So I am going to give you some on trend fashion ideas and tips for all shapes, sizes and ages to get you out of that bathrobe, out of those sweats, out of those sensible shoes and out of those baggy jeans and sweaters and into something ---FABULOUS!

(And for you guys out there who might be reading this, we know you don't  really care how you look anymore, but the same goes for you.  We have noticed that you have let yourselves go a bit too, and that you no longer look like George Clooney).


If you go to the gym, don't just throw on sweats and a t-shirt with an embarrassing slogan on it like "Blink if you want me" or "Drunkin' Grown-ups."  Invest in some cool matching outfits like this Nike combo.  Don't hide your curves.  Be glad you still have some.





In cooler weather, black leggings and a long top will take you all over town and a nice scarf covers up a multitude of sins.




But this spring it's all about color. 

Just because we are old, doesn't mean we can't stand out.  Women over 50 may be invisible to the general public, but you will catch some attention in a shocking pink jacket and printed jeans. 

Roll up those sleeves and add a pocket patch and you can go everywhere from running errands to Happy Hour.

Switch up the same look with some leather and an artfully tied scarf.
 

A good white jacket will go with everything from spring through the summer. 


And dark denim trousers with a little flair looks good on everyone.

And don't be afraid to wear white.

Curvy women sometimes shy away from white, but if you keep it simple and monochromatic, there is no reason why you can't wear white. 

Oversize shoes are also slimming.

And who cares if you are 65? 

If you want to wear some great big fun sunglasses, then go for it!

For dressier occasions, a floral print pencil skirt looks great with boots. 

We curvy gals can wear florals on the bottom, just don't overdo it. 

Make the skirt the focal point and then tone it down with black.

Add a colorful necklace to highlight your face.

 

 

For dressy occasions, you can't beat the LBD. 

And a denim jacket and a fancy low-riding belt gives it some edge.

 

 

 

Or how about a fake flower, big earrings and showing a little shoulder?

 

 

 

 

 

 

And don't be afraid to get your Stevie Nicks on.  If she can still do it, so can you.

 

 

 

 

 

Likewise, who says we can't wear skinnies and gladiator sandals? 

 

**We don't want to invest a lot of money in trends that will be over by next year, so look into Forever 21 and H & M for some fun pieces like these striped skinnies. The prices are amazing (Leggings for less than $7.00, tops for $12, etc.). If you are embarrassed to be shopping there, and the sales clerks say something, just tell them at checkout your items are for your granddaughter.  That's what I do and I don't even have a granddaughter.  They have plus sizes too!

 

Note the leopard bag.  Animal print is always in style in any season.

 

Leopard print is the new black.  I have decreed it so.

 

 

 

 

And if your décolletage is not too crepey (no, I didn't say "creepy"), don't be afraid to show a little.

 

 

Don't forget a bit of make-up either. 

 

Some nicely waxed and trimmed eyebrows, mascara and lippy brighten your face - and big earrings are just plain fun!

 

I am not even going to get into the whole thing about coloring one's hair, but let's just say, I am not sure what my real color is anymore.  But whatever it is or was, it's not going to be gray.  But I know letting one's hair turn gray or white can be a political issue, so I am not going there.  I just choose to be blonde, because you know what they say..."Blondes have more..."  Well, you know.

 

 

And, finally, a great hat keeps those age spots from showing up.

 

 

Well, there you have it. 

 

Just some of my ideas and tips, but it's really all up to you.

 

Keeping up appearances keeps up your appearance. 

Don't let age or a few extra pounds be excuses to not look

 

FABULOUS!

See you Friday for
"My Favorite Concert and Rock & Roll Movies (and they are not the ones you would think)!"

 

Thanks for reading!

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to share it and/or email it to your friends.

 

 

 

My Guilty Pleasures: The Confessions of a Retired Baby Boomer Librarian

I am a smart, educated woman who knows her Proust from her Pinter.  I can talk literature, poetry, current affairs, music and foreign films with the best of them.  I'm a librarian, for god's sake.  I'm edicated.
 
But I also have my guilty pleasures.

I think I feel less guilty when I remember one of the smartest guys in my college telling me that his favorite movie was "The Love Bug." 

This was a time in the early 70's when no one would admit to anything but seeing the most sophisticated of foreign films - I mean we were COLLEGE students, for god's sake.  After registering my surprise and disgust at his choice, that HE, a philosophy major for god's sake chose a Disney film, and a silly one at that, as his favorite film, his response was, "Hey, I work hard, I use my brain 24/7 so when I want to relax I don't want to have to think.  I want to laugh, enjoy myself."

So as another smarty pants whose mind works overtime, I took that as a free pass to indulge MY guilty pleasures (I would say pleasures, but I am sort of guilty about them).

Lifetime Movies
I have already confessed to this guilty pleasure in my blog "Lifetime Movies," so I won't bore you again on that one, but, c'mon, who wouldn't want to watch a movie called "Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?"

Gossip Magazines and really juicy celebrity bios
When I fly, nothing relaxes me more than reading about Bruce Jenner's possible sex change or whether Jennifer Anniston will get married or not in the gossip rags. I would never dream of gossiping about my friends but hearing about the travails of the rich and famous?  Well, I find it relaxing.  And I feel I am doing a public service when I hand them off to the flight attendants and see how happy they are.  As for the celebrity biographies, I have to review them for "Library Journal."  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

A Latte and a scone after going to the gym
I know.  What's the point of going to the gym if I am going to negate it by eating a scone?  At least it's a "skinny" latte and it could be worse.  I could be going to McDonald's after the gym like some people I won't name...(but whose name starts with H and ends in ubby.)

Jackets
It all started when I was 12 and the rich girls had these cute little matching skirts and jackets that I couldn't afford.  So now I have 75 jackets.  So there, you rich girls!

Earrings
Do I really need 100's of them?  No.  But they never turn on you like your tight jeans.  When I weighed considerably more than I do now, I couldn't fit into skinny jeans but my earrings always fit.  That's comforting.  When I'm feeling fat, I buy earrings.

Scarves
See "Earrings" above.  I feel very Parisian when I am sporting a perfectly tied scarf.  And they hide a multitude of sins!

Late Night Talk Shows
Not sure where I got this from, but it could hark back to my childhood. 
My Dad was against late night talk shows. I think he thought they were too risqué (for all of my Dad's stellar qualities, he was a bit of a prude). So I think that was forbidden fruit for me.  Remember Tom Snyder and Joe Pyne?  Ah, those were the days.

When I was in college and living in married housing alone while my young husband was in Vietnam, Johnny Carson helped me feel less lonely. I would go back to my house late, after play practice, and sit up, listening to Johnny while I did my homework.  What I loved about his show was you never knew when something really impromptu and funny would happen, such as when Johnny asked Frank Sinatra what records HE plays when he wants to get someone in a romantic mood and then Don Rickles comes in to surprise and insult him.  Enjoy!

)


Reality TV
It all started with "An American Family" that played on PBS in the early 70's.  That was classic cinema verite.  The camera followed around the Loud family of Santa Barbara and captured one of the sons coming out to his parents and the wife asking her husband for a divorce.

That was followed by my all-time favorite documentary, the Up Series where director Michael Apted followed the lives of 14 British children from the age of 7 to present, with the presumption that social class predicts one's future.  Does it?

Those two series are the epitome of excellent reality TV.  I was hooked.

However, I can't really explain "Ru Paul's Drag Race" or "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" or "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" or "The Bachelor" or "Celebrity Rehab" or "Wife Swap" or..."Cheaters" or "Southern Charm" or..."Real World"...

Dining Out/Happy Hour
Here's how I feel about going out for dinner and/or drinks. It's the best way to get away from the distractions of the home and have real conversations.  You can really talk when you are around a table, no distractions and some drinks don't hurt.

Sleeping in
I have never been a morning person.  Hubby gets up at 6am even on the weekends.  Ugh.  I am amazed I was able to get to work on time all of those ears before I retired.  Now most days I don't have to be anywhere early so I can indulge myself and get up when I please.  Of course, it doesn't help that I am also a night owl.  Ever since I was a little girl, I didn't want to go to bed.  I think I thought I was going to miss something.  Now I think it's just inertia.


Dressing up my dogs
It all started with my first blog where I thought it would be fun to illustrate classic books using my dogs as models.  And it all went downhill from there.  I am now hopelessly addicted.

        "Harvey"                               Red boots, a Beatles tee and a fascinator. 

What more could a girl want?

                Arrrr!

       

Romeo, Romeo,

wherefore art thou, Romeo?

Fiddle-dee-dee

While I was working it was possible to rein some of these things in. 

Now that I am retired, I worry I will spend my time watching Lifetime movies or late night talk shows, celebrity gossip magazine in hand, eating a scone wearing a new jacket and a big pair of earrings, scarf nattily tied, with a dog dressed up like Honey Boo Boo sitting next to me.

Or not.

Life is short and sometimes pleasures few.  Enjoy yourself without guilt!

What are your guilty pleasures? 

Dare you confess?

See you Friday for the

"The Week in Reviews"

Thanks for reading!

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to share it and/or email it to your friends.