First of all, just so you know, I got 19 out of the 24 categories correct - 80% (and won my little family pool) - and, if you remember (read it here, if you don't), I called Eddie Redmayne as Best Actor, Julianne Moore as Best Actress and chose five out of the eight films nominated for Best Picture way back in January, even BEFORE the nominations were announced.
I just wanted you know that Rosy the Reviewer has her movie cred. Stick with me and I will direct you to the best movies and DVDs and steer you away from the dreck.
The Academy Awards is the Super Bowl for movie lovers, so just as football fans plan for The Big Day, so did I.
Every year the family does its own little Academy Awards pool so I had sent out the ballots ahead of time. (Here's a tip: Always look for ballots that not only list the nominated films, but the person or persons nominated. That can be helpful if you recognize the costume designer who has won before or the famous writer who adapted the screenplay).
On the Big Day, I completed my ballot, put together some delicious food to eat while watching, dressed up the dogs, slipped into something glam, put the champs on ice and switched on the TV at 3pm (PST) to watch the arrivals on the Red Carpet.
Let's dish about the Red Carpet!
Several channels had Red Carpet interviews but I chose "E," hosted by the Fashion Police folks, Kelly Osbourne, Giuliana Rancic and Brad Goreski because I figured I would get the most "dish" for my buck with them.
And speaking of dish: Giuliana, EAT SOMETHING. You look like a wraith.
And Kelly, I adored your dress but aren't you getting a little long in the tooth for a purple Mohawk? Ditch the colored hair and the head shaving if you want to tell other people how they should look.
Speaking of which, Khloe Kardashion joined them later and looked like she was dragged through a hedgerow backwards (as my British friends would say). Her hair needed a good brushing and why wear a dress that makes your hips look BIGGER?
Here's a tip. You have to be really hardcore to start watching the Red Carpet early as the big stars don't arrive until closer to the start of the event which on the West Coast is 5:30. But, hey, I'm hardcore.
At 3pm we were getting the people who did voiceovers for the animated films - I will say that America Ferrera ("How To Train Your Dragon 2") looked lovely
- and the people who would be singing the nominated songs.
Faith Hill and Tim McGraw were sporting short haircuts that were not becoming.
I didn't even recognize them at first but then I realized later I had never seen Tim without a cowboy hat. I don't want to be too bitchy about the hair, though, in case there are some health issues going on.
Also if you watch early, you have to endure the hosts killing time by predicting who will look good because the A-listers haven't arrived yet and their yammering on and on. This is a good time to paint your nails, read a book or dress up your dog.
But finally after a couple of glasses of champs and a nap, the A-Listers arrive.
None of the dresses really blew me away this year but here are the ones I thought were the best (and note - I am writing this BEFORE watching Fashion Police!)
Felicity Jones wearing Alexander McQueen
Lupita Nyong'o in Calvin Klein
Rosamunde Pike in Givenchy
Rita Ora in Marchesa
This is my favorite. You might ask, "Who is Rita Ora?" She is a British singer trying to make it in the U.S. and is famous for breaking Rob Kardashian's heart (before he got fat)!
Reese Witherspoon in Tom Ford
Reece is doing the very classic thing here in a dress that makes her look much taller.
I have to say, though, that no one really looks terrible anymore, which is no fun when you want to dish about the gowns. Everyone has a stylist. It's not like the old days when there were some really, really bad dresses.
Marion Cotillard in Dior
Looked good from the front but the back was terrible. Do we really need a bustle these days?
Nicole Kidman in Louis Vuitton
The belt makes her look like a school crossing guard who works part time as a hooker and that clutch just doesn't go.
Scarlett Johansson in Versace
It's that thing around her neck. Can't tell if it's a necklace or part of the dress, but it's horrible.
The dress was only semi-awful. It was her hair and makeup that let her down. She looked older than she should and like she got caught in a tornado.
And of the men, Eddie Redmayne and Terrence Howard looked very dapper.
Michael Keaton looked great, too, but, boy, is he a twitchy guy. He's one of those people who doesn't look you in the eye. I never once saw him look at Ryan Seacrest's face when he was being interviewed.
Now on with the show!
My two favorite things of the night:
The longest speeches always seem to be by the people in the categories that no one really cares about. But, hey, those are the unknown people who toil behind the scenes and they want their moment in the sun. Too bad if the music starts playing and someone runs for the hook. They are going to stay on that stage until they have said everything they have always wanted to say, dammit! Pawel Pawlikowski, the director of the Best Foreign Language Film "Ida," was a wonderful example.
John Travolta and Idina Menzel. Neil Patrick Harris introduced this bit by talking about Benedict Cumberbatch's name:
The two made fun of Travolta's horrible mangling of Menzel's name last year by her introducing him as Glom Gazingo. He then was able to correctly pronounce her name. But he was a bit touchy feely. Was he drunk?
And here are MY awards!
Biggest Disappointment Award: Neil Patrick Harris
Neil wasn't the worst host ever. David Letterman gets that dubious honor. But Neil just fell flat too many times.
The Neil Patrick Harris opening was his usual Broadway style and had some funny lyrics. They interposed him into some of the films which was kind of funny and reminded me of the kind of thing Ellen does, but it just made me miss Billy Crystal all the more who did that kind of thing with much more humor and flair. Anna Kendrick joined him and she has a nice Broadway voice, but her voice was a little screechy at times. Jack Black coming out of the audience to rant about "Hollywood baloney" was funny, but in general the opening was a yawn.
Speaking of falling flat. Whoever wrote Neil's patter should be fired. Wasn't funny. The joke about Oprah and the money made by "American Sniper" made no sense and the bit with David Oyelowo about everything sounding better with a British accent was cringe worthy. And I'm not even going to comment on the bit with Neil's predictions in the briefcase. Dumb and too little too late.
I say, get Kevin Hart or Martin Short to host next year!
Second Biggest Disappointment Award:
That "Boyhood" did not win for Best Picture, Best Director or Best Editing.
"Birdman" was an original and entertaining film with some great acting. I will give it props, but "Boyhood" was an extraordinary feat of movie-making. The cast met every year for 12 years and what director Richard Linklater put together was a poignant and real look inside a family and the growth of a young boy from six to 18. The editing created a seamless recording of time. To keep that cast together for 12 years was an amazing act of love and dedication on everyone's part and the result was an almost three hour film that kept you riveted, as if you were also a part of their world. Despite the fact that it did not win the big prizes, this film will be remembered as a new form of filmmaking.
Worst Reader of the Teleprompter Award
Liam Neeson is a great actor, but he sure can't act like he is not reading the teleprompter. C'mon, Liam! Act! Or attend the rehearsals.
Best Heartfelt and Compelling Speech Award
Graham Moore (Best Adapted Screenplay for "The Imitation Game")
"Here's the thing. Alan Turing never got to stand on a stage like this and look out at all of these disconcertingly attractive faces. I do. And that's the most unfair thing I've ever heard...So in this brief time here, what I wanted to do was say this: When I was 16 years old, I tried to kill myself because I felt weird and I felt different, and I felt like I did not belong. And now I'm standing here, and so I would like this moment to be for this kid out there who feels like she's weird or she's different or she doesn't fit in anywhere: Yes, you do. I promise you do. Stay weird, stay different, and then, when it's your turn, and you are standing on this stage, please pass the same message to the next person who comes along. Thank you so much!"
Best Speech That You Thought Was Going To Be Boring But It Wasn't Award
It started out boring because she was reading from a piece of paper, but once she got going, she was riling up the audience about equal rights for women. Meryl Streep was so jazzed I thought she was going to run up on stage!
Best Speech With Advice For My Kids Award
Call your Mom and Dad! Don't text or email, call them...Thank them...Tell them you love them...and listen to them as long as they want to talk. Thanks, J.K. Best speech of the night!
Most Handsomest Man in the Whole Wide World Award
(Sorry, I just had a weak moment).
Best Performance of the Nominated Songs Award
John Legend and Common singing "Glory" (from "Selma"), and their acceptance speech was emotionally touching when Legend talked about the huge incarceration rate for black men in the United States.
Worst Nominations Award
Except for "Glory," they were really scraping the bottom of the barrel this year. The song from "The Lego Movie, " "Everything is Awesome" was especially ridiculous.
Biggest Upset Award (for me anyway because I didn't pick it)
"Big Hero 6" beating out "How to Train Your Dragon 2"
Craziest Dress on a Winner Award
Dana Perry whose Documentary Short "Crisis Hotline: Veterans Press 1" won the Oscar wore this crazy dress with furry balls all over it. But then I felt bad for laughing at her dress when she said in her speech that their film was important in helping those in crisis and she herself had a son who committed suicide. I wasn't the only one. Neil made a joke about the dress and got some flak for it.
The Shame on You Award
The omissions of Joan Rivers and Elaine Stritch from the In Memoriam segment. Shameful
Most Surprising Moment Award
Lady Gaga can sing Broadway!
Her tribute to the 50th year anniversary of "The Sound of Music" was good, but it went on too long. I couldn't help but think that probably every one of the actors in the audience had been in "The Sound of Music" at least once in their lives.
Most Bittersweet Award
When Julie Andrews came out right after Gaga's "The Sound of Music" tribute.
I am glad Julie is still with us and looks so great, but it was also bittersweet after hearing Lady Gaga sing all of her songs knowing that Julie can no longer sing.
Well, that's it for this year folks. Just as my fellow Seahawks fans can't wait for next season's Super Bowl, I am already gearing up for the 2016 Academy Awards.
See you at the movies!
Thanks for reading!
And stay with me. I won't steer you wrong on the movies!
See you Friday
when I will be reviewing
(I will let you know if the movie itself is any good)
(I will let you know if the movie itself is any good)
as well as some
DVD's to see or avoid
and the latest on
"My 1001 Movies I Must See Before
I Die Project."
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