I have said my goodbyes and am now waiting out my time. I know what a lame duck feels like. The phone doesn't ring, no future assignments, no problems to solve.
So my mind is switching gears, away from the details of my work and more toward the details of my new life.
What will change?
What will I miss? What will be lost?
First of all, what in hell am I going to do with all of
those suits I have? I guess that I may
never wear them again, because when I dress up it’s not going to be a suit, I
guarantee you. It’s going to look more
like this!
This was the fashion dichotomy I lived with during my entire
career as a librarian.
Since I won’t be getting ready for work anymore, I guess I won’t be watching "Inside Edition" (I Tivo it), while putting on my make-up, a habit that has crept up on me. Will I miss the exploits of the Kardashians or Amanda Bynes or those cute videos at the end where a baby laughs uncontrollably or a kitty curls up with a gorilla?
And speaking of make-up…will I stop wearing make-up? Will I stop caring what I look like? When does that moment occur when a woman stops dying her hair or wearing makeup or shapewear or stops that continuing never-ending attempt to lose weight, and puts on the elastic band trousers and lets it all hang out? When does “little-old-ladydom” set in?
Will I miss my paycheck? Probably no more $200 opera tickets. Am I destined for the nosebleed seats at
concerts and shows, or heaven forbid, no more concerts or shows?
And shopping? Will my
shopping now consist of window shopping and my wardrobe get forever stuck in the year
2013?
Travel? Yikes. Since most trips to Europe cost thousands of dollars, will we have the money for that again? Don't even mention staying in a hostel.
And dinners out. I have been working on eating at all of the fine restaurants in Seattle from A-Z. I haven't gotten to Z yet! Am I destined to eat forever at Mickey D's?
And what about purpose and meaning? Working as a librarian, I have had the opportunity to impact people's lives. I was able to contribute to the community. I knew that what I was doing was important.
So working has afforded me a lifestyle I have become
accustomed to, habits that are hard to break and a sense of worth, but I shouldn’t dwell on what
will or could be lost. I want to look
forward to what I will gain.And dinners out. I have been working on eating at all of the fine restaurants in Seattle from A-Z. I haven't gotten to Z yet! Am I destined to eat forever at Mickey D's?
And what about purpose and meaning? Working as a librarian, I have had the opportunity to impact people's lives. I was able to contribute to the community. I knew that what I was doing was important.
I love my house. We have a lovely piece of property that we have designed for our lifestyle. While working, I didn’t get to spend much time there. Now I can wander my property to my heart’s content or sit up in the aerie-like master bedroom and watch a movie every day if I like (and listen to my neighbor's power tools, which is a whole blog unto itself. But I digress.)
I will gain quality time with the dogs and possibly turn
them into good dogs.
This is a picture of a good dog.
This is a picture of a not-so-good dog.
I will gain closet space, as I pull out all of those suits to make room for other more fabulous clothes (that I may or may not be able to afford in future, but I am not going to dwell on that now).
No more getting up earlier than I like. Mornings will start
late and leisurely and include meditation.
(The hubby has to put up a baby gate at the bottom of the stairs to keep
those not-so-good dogs I was telling you about away from the bedroom door, whining for their morning treats. He's a good hubby). And please don't laugh about the meditation. I am on a "journey" here, folks!
And I can get to the gym and take those zumba classes at 10am (and by the way, who are those people who can go to 10am zumba classes? Why aren't they at work?).
Hubby and I will celebrate Fabulous Fridays and get dressed
up and eat and drink cheap, but good food and wine at Happy Hour at those fine restaurants! I am determined to get to "Z!"And I can get to the gym and take those zumba classes at 10am (and by the way, who are those people who can go to 10am zumba classes? Why aren't they at work?).
And when we can't afford to dine out, I will cook up fabulous meals like my buffalo chicken wings or Asian turkey in lettuce cups.
Whether or not I have the money to travel or do other things, I will have the time.
Time to read, time to visit children and grandchildren, time to volunteer, time to write this blog, time to figure out what the last 65 years have been all about. Time to add even more meaning to my life.
And time is something money can't buy.
What will change when I turn out the light in my office, turn
the key in the lock and walk away for the last time? Only time will tell.