"The Pickup," "Death of a Unicorn," "The Woman in the Yard" and "Big Star: Nothing Can Hurt Me:" My Movie Picks and Pans for August 2025

[I review "The Pickup," the new Eddie Murphy-Pete Davidson buddy movie as well as two horror films and a documentary - "Death of a Unicorn," "The Woman in the Yard" and "Big Star: Nothing Can Hurt Me," a documentary about a rock band you might not know about]

The Pickup (2025)

Two mismatched armored car drivers find themselves in a heist situation.

I have always been a big Eddie Murphy fan ever since he was on SNL. He created some of the funniest characters of all time. But is it me?  Do comedians get less funny as they get older?  I noticed it with Richard Pryor, Chevy Chase and others. It seems as they age like they start to take themselves too seriously and suddenly aren't funny anymore. I think that has happened to Eddie.

Russell Pierce (Murphy), a veteran armored car driver close to retirement, and Travis Stolly (Pete Davidson), a rookie who aspires to be a police officer, team up for the first time on duty. It's Russell's 25th Wedding Anniversary and he needs to get home to take his wife, Natalie (Eva Longoria), out for dinner and surprise her with the ring he had reset for her, so he is not happy that they have a particularly long day of pickups. And he is really unhappy when young criminal mastermind Zoe (Keke Palmer) and her cohorts, Banner (Jack Kesy) and Miguel (Ismael Cruz Cordova), ambush them. 

After an intense car chase with cars blowing up and money containing dye thrown all over the place, Zoe manages to hijack the armored car. Travis recognizes Zoe because...wait for it. Wouldn't you know? Travis and Zoe had "met cute" the day before and had a one-night-stand where he had just coincidentally told her everything about his work including his schedule and the route he was going to take. Assuming that Banner and Miguel are dead after both of their vehicles have violently crashed, Zoe reveals that it's not the money in the truck that she wants, it's the armored truck itself because her plan is to use it for a pickup of $60 million from an Atlantic City casino, and she wants Russell and Travis to help her. Since she has a gun on them, they figure they don't have much choice.

However, Banner and Miguel survive and now they are mad that Zoe has abandoned them so they are on the hunt for Zoe, Russell and Travis. In the meantime, Zoe reveals her real reason for wanting to rob the casino and Russell's wife, Natalie, has tracked them down, because, hey, it's her 25th Wedding Anniversary and she wants to know where the heck Russell is.  Now she is also involved but why she is even in this movie is a mystery. Eva must have needed the work.

More car chases, more shenanigans, more I don't care anymore.

Written by Kevin Burrows and Matt Mider and directed by Tim Story, this is the #3 most popular movie on Netflix right now, so I guess Eddie Murphy can still pull an audience but, like I said, sadly he just isn't funny anymore, nor is this movie. Eddie used to have the funniest facial reactions and doesn't even do that here for a cheap laugh. Pete does Pete, that Chad character he created on SNL, but the relationship between Eddie and Pete just didn't work. This is supposed to be a "buddy movie" but these guys have zero buddy chemistry. And I have never been a Keke Palmer fan. She always tries too hard to be perky, but at least here she has toned it down so I didn't mind her as much. And Andrew Dice Clay as the armored truck company boss was unrecognizable. He used to be funny too. 

I think this movie was supposed to be fun, but it wasn't. Even the car crashes weren't fun. They were over-the-top and unrealistic. How many car crashes in slow motion do we have to see?  

Rosy the Reviewer says...predictable and dumb. Cliche after cliche after cliche. I felt used. I liked Eddie better when he was funny.  (Amazon Prime)

Death of a Unicorn (2025)

While on his way to a weekend retreat at his boss's house with his daughter, a man who works for a pharmaceutical company kills a unicorn which leads to mayhem.

I like the occasional horror film, but for some reason this month I have been drawn to them.  Maybe it's because pretend horror takes my mind off the real life horror of world events. And I am not alone. It's actually been documented that in times of economic and political upheaval, more people are drawn to horror films. 

Elliot Kintner (Paul Rudd) and his teenage daughter, Ridley (Jenna Ortega), are travelling through the Canadian Rockies on their way for a weekend at the estate of Elliot's boss, Odell Leopold (Richard E. Grant) and his family- his wife Belinda (Tea Leoni) and son, Shepard (Will Poulter). Elliot is up for a promotion in Odell's pharmaceutical company. Odell is suffering from cancer. 

On the way, Elliot accidentally strikes and injures a unicorn with his car. Okay, I know. Unicorns don't really exist.  Suspend your disbelief.

When Elliot and Ridley inspect the unicorn, Ridley touches its horn and is cosmically transported until Elliot bashes it with a tire iron, splashing them both with blood.  They stash the unicorn in the trunk and head to the Leopolds' estate. Elliott plans to bury the unicorn after everyone is asleep.  Ooo---kay. Not sure that's a good plan. But then something really strange happens. Ridley discovers that her acne is gone and Elliot's vision suddenly improves and so do his allergies. It looks like unicorns have healing powers.

After arriving at the Leopolds' estate, they all discover that the unicorn wasn't dead. They shoot it but when Odell learns that the unicorn has healing powers, he brings in a bunch of scientists who grate pieces of the unicorn's horn off.  Odell ingests it and suddenly Odell's cancer is gone. Still with me?

Gee, Odell runs a pharmaceutical company.  I wonder what his plans are for the unicorn. Yes, he plans to exploit it.  In the meantime, Ridley remembers seeing the famous Unicorn Tapestries and gets the feeling that something bad is going to happen. Ya think? Well, she's right. Turns out, there is more than one unicorn, and they don't like that their friend is being taken off to be experimented on. All hell breaks loose.

Written and directed by Alex Scharfman, this is one of those "what if" stories.  What if unicorns are real and have curative powers and also get violent when Big Pharma tries to exploit them? 

All of the characters in this are larger than life which is sometimes fun but here could be interpreted as over-acting. There is lots of guts and gore (there is a fun homage to "Alien"), but is this film really a horror film?  It wants to be, but since it's so over-the-top, it's not really scary. It's more of a cartoon. Yes, it is funny at times, makes fun of rich people and it's a statement about the greed of Big Pharma, but I'm not sure the presentation really makes that hit home. Though the film has some originality and may have meant well, it has a one note premise: unicorns gone wild, and it went on way too long with a very strange ending. When the police arrived, I couldn't help but wonder, how do you tell the police, "Unicorns did it?"

I like Paul Rudd. He does "dufus" really well. Jenna Ortega is everywhere these days and Poulter has made a name for himself playing bullies (he does it again here) but redeemed himself in his recent stint on "The Bear." Leoni and Grant are veteran actors but despite all of this star power, it wasn't enough to save this movie. I liked the idea of unicorns running wild in a horror film and there were some fun moments, but not enough for me to recommend this movie. 

Rosy the Reviewer says...much as I sometimes like to watch horror films to take my mind off real life horror, sadly, this movie just reminded me that I don't like silly, over-the-top horror. But if that's your jam, you might like it. (HBO Max)

The Woman in the Yard (2025)

What would you do if a mysterious woman clad in black appeared sitting in your yard and she wouldn't leave?  Call the police?

Well, that's not what Ramona (Danielle Deadwyler) did. She should have.  Ramona is a widowed mother living on an isolated farm.  She was in a car accident that killed her husband. She is grieving, hobbling around on crutches, and not doing well, distancing herself from her two children, Taylor (Peyton Jackson) and Annie (Estella Kahiha).  

Suddenly, a woman all in black appears sitting in their front yard and says  "Today's the day."  There are repeated attempts to get the woman to leave by both Ramona and Taylor but the woman remains, and in fact, appears to be moving closer and closer to the house. Then the cell service and power goes out and Charlie, the dog, goes missing.

Turns out there is more to the car accident than Ramona has revealed.

Not sure if it's Deadwyler, the screenplay by Sam Stefanak, or Jaume Collet-Serra's direction, but Ramona was not a sympathetic character. Yes, she is a grieving widow but she is actually a pain in the butt to her kids and to the audience watching this film.  She is useless.  As she hobbles from her bedroom down the stairs, I couldn't help but say to myself, "Why doesn't she sleep downstairs?" And why is the crashed car sitting on the property? I rolled my eyes more than once, and finally said out loud to the TV, "What the Hell?"  If Deadwyler had generated a bit more warmth or smarts, I might have cared, but I didn't. It doesn't take much to figure out what the woman in the yard represents but even figuring that out, I still didn't care.

I was hopeful going into this film.  I usually like Blumhouse horror films, but I can't say this film was actually a horror film.  It was more of a psychological look at grief and guilt with a few gotcha moments, but even so, not that well done.  And I am not a fan of an ambiguous ending that makes me go "Huh?"

Rosy the Reviewer says...when it comes to horror, I have been a big fan of Blumhouse productions but they have their ups and downs and this one was definitely a down. Not recommended. (Peacock)

Big Star: Nothing Can Hurt Me (2012)

A rock documentary about the rock band, Big Star, that received critical acclaim but commercial failure though today it is a success as a cult band phenomenon.

Remember The Box Tops and the song "The Letter?"  Alex Chilton was the lead singer for The Box Tops and was only 16 when he recorded that song.  He had huge success at a young age and later formed the band Big Star with Chris Bell.  This documentary tells the story of what happened to Chilton and Bell as they starred in the most famous band you have never heard of. 

Founded in 1971 in Memphis, the band found a home at Ardent Studios, noted for its connection to Stax Records (Sam and Dave, Led Zeppelin and Isaac Hayes recorded there). Their albums were critically acclaimed but a series of events caused distribution issues, and despite their getting credit for influencing other bands like R.E.M. and Cheap Trick, they never really had success until much later, when they had a cult following in the 90's. Their song "In the Street" was the theme for "That '70s Show," though it was performed by Cheap Trick.  

Written by Drew DeNicola and directed by DeNicola and Olivia Mori, the film uses archival materials and all kinds of talking heads to track the history of Chilton, Bell and Big Star, but the talking heads are people you will probably not recognize nor are they routinely identified, and that's the problem with this movie. It is never clear who is talking and what their connection to Big Star was. 

The story of Big Star is an intriguing one but the film goes on too long with too many people talking and conjecturing with little actual footage of the band performing and the film doesn't really manage to make a point about why Big Star didn't make it big. There are hints at drug and alcohol use that contributed to Chilton and Bell never really finding their niches, but there is never enough information to understand what really happened and why they didn't become big stars during their lifetimes.  Both died young - Bell is in the "27 Club" and Chilton died at 59.

Big Star was clearly a band ahead of it's time with an interesting story, and I am glad it is getting some props. However, even though I am a big fan of music documentaries, this film just did not come together for me.

Rosy the Reviewer says...if you are/were a fan of Big Star or are a rock documentary nerd, you might enjoy this, but otherwise, not recommended. (HBO Max).

See You Next Time!

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to like it and share it on Facebook, X, or other sites; email it to your friends and/or follow me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/rosythereviewer where I share short reviews about TV shows I am watching, books I am reading and all sorts of other fun stuff that doesn't appear here!

And next time you are wondering whether or not to watch a particular film, check out my reviews on IMDB (The International Movie Database). Go to IMDB.com, find the movie you are interested in.  Scroll over to the right of the synopsis to where it says "Critics Reviews" - Click on that and if I have reviewed that film, you will find Rosy the Reviewer alphabetically on the list (NOTE:  IMDB keeps moving stuff around so if you don't find "Critics Reviews" where I am sending you, look around.  It's worth it)!

My Very Own March Madness: Some Good Movies!

 [I review "It Ends With Us," "The Last Showgirl," "A Real Pain" and "Companion"]

It Ends With Us (2024)

The many faces of domestic abuse.

First of all, I need to address the elephant.  You know, that proverbial elephant in the room?  A pall seems to have fallen over this film because of the dispute between the stars, Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni (Baldoni also directed the film). Lively has sued Baldoni for sexual harassment and intimidation and Baldoni has countersued for defamation, civil extortion and invasion of privacy.  That all started back in December, and it is still ongoing with more and more accusations flying back and forth almost every day. And despite the fact we now know who Justin Baldoni is (I don't think very many people did before), it is too bad that this movie has been overshadowed by the real life sturm und drang between the two co-stars, because it is actually a really good movie with an important message about domestic violence and emotional abuse.  

So let me try to put the film back into the spotlight by giving it some props.

It's all about Lily Bloom (Lively).  She is living in Boston and is getting ready to open her first flower shop, to be called appropriately, Lily Blooms. One evening, when she is brooding atop a high rise, she meets a guy who is clearly having a bad day.  How do I know?  He is kicking furniture. Should be a sign that this guy has anger issues, but, you know, he's a handsome guy.  Let's give him a chance. Meet Ryle Kincaid (Baldoni), a handsome neurosurgeon, and the two have an immediate connection.  But it doesn't get very far before he is called away and Lily thinks, that's that. But then Lily meets Allysa (Jenny Slate) who is looking for a job.  Lily hires her to work with her in her flower shop and wouldn't you know...guess who Allysa's brother is!  Bingo!  It's Ryle.

Lily and Ryle begin a relationship, but things get complicated when Lily runs into her old high school boyfriend, Atlas Corrigan played by Brandon Sklenar  (Atlas, Lily Bloom, Ryle - don't you just love the names in this movie?  Right out of a romance novel!).  Atlas just happens to be the owner and head chef at a restaurant where she has taken Ryle to meet her mother.

Through a series of flashbacks, we learn that Lily's father had been abusive to her mother and Atlas had run away from his home to escape his mother's abusive boyfriend.  The two teens bonded and fell in love.  However, when Lily's father discovered them in bed together, he beat Atlas so badly that he was hospitalized and he later joined the Marines and Lily and Atlas lost touch.

Now in the present day, Ryle and Lily marry but Ryle has some concerning anger issues that have followed him since childhood, and though he loves Lily, some manipulation and abusive incidents start to raise their ugly heads, and it doesn't help that Atlas is back in the picture. Then Lily discovers she is pregnant.

Will the cycle of abuse continue?

Based on the book by Colleen Hoover (adapted for the screen by Christy Hall) and directed by Baldoni, the film does a good job of showing the insidious way marital abuse begins.  We wonder, how could a woman get herself into an abusive relationship?  Well, it's not a black and white thing.  Relationships don't usually start with abuse, but if there is a history of abuse or anger issues, those can creep in and affect those we profess to love. 

And it's ironic that since the film, Justin and Blake are now locked in acrimonious lawsuits about those very issues which feels very strange watching the film, because Justin and Blake have real chemistry, so it is difficult to believe Blake could play this part while being sexually harassed on set but maybe she is just a really good actress.  

Rosy the Reviewer says...with all of the sensational news reports and accusations flying back and forth, it's difficult to know what really occurred between the two, but one thing I do know, this is a satisfying film experience. (Netflix)

The Last Showgirl (2024)

After 30 years as a showgirl, the show is closing.  What's a girl to do?

Shelly Gardner (Pamela Anderson) is a 57-year-old showgirl who has performed in Le Razzle Dazzle, a French-style revue at a Las Vegas casino for 30 years. Her younger co-stars, Mary-Anne (Brenda Song) and Jodie (Kiernan Shipka), view Shelly as a mother figure and Shelly's older friend, Annette (Jamie Lee Curtis), is a close friend and ex-showgirl, though she was ousted from the show and now works as a cocktail waitress. 

But now, the show is closing. Eddie (Dave Bautista), the producer of the show, breaks the news that the show will close in two weeks due to lack of ticket sales.  No one seems to care about showgirls anymore, and Le Razzle Dazzle is going to give way to a more contemporary circus show. Shelly is devastated by the news. Not only does she feel proud of the glamorous history of Las Vegas showgirls but she is not in favor of what is replacing it.  But she is also fearful about her future. With no means for retirement and few resources, what is she going to do?

Shelly reaches out to her daughter, Hannah (Billie Lourd, Carrie Fisher's daughter), who is a student in Arizona.  The two have a strained relationship because Hannah had lived with family friends for most of her adolescence and harbors resentment because she feels that Shelly chose he career over her.  And in all fairness to Hannah, Shelly is a bit of a dingbat, forgetting her daughter's age and not showing she knows much about her own daughter.

Written by Kate Gersten and directed by Gia Coppola - yes, that Coppola family.  She is Francis Ford Coppola's granddaughter - the film explores Shelly's attempts to find a place for herself in Las Vegas, highlighting many poignant moments as she auditions unsuccessfully for another show, struggles to save her relationship with her daughter and keep a big secret about Hannah's parentage. This movie has a very low budget indie feel, but it beautifully captures a Las Vegas world that is no more. I had no idea that the classic showgirl disappeared from Las Vegas years ago. That's how much I know about Las Vegas these days  

This is a wonderful showcase for Pamela Anderson. Famous for her spreads in Playboy, her "Baywatch" bathing suit and her sometimes volatile marriage to Tommy Lee, she has rarely been given props for her acting but she did receive a Golden Globe nomination for her portrayal of Shelly, though snubbed by the Academy. She has also gone through a major life change over the years, moving back to British Columbia, where she grew up,  starting a cooking show and eschewing make-up.  Though I get that last bit - yes, she wants to divorce herself from that world where beauty and make-up are everything and she is judged on her looks, but, sorry, I question going so far in the other direction.  Without any eye make-up, her coloring is such that her eyes disappear and she looks older than she is.  I get that she wants to get rid of that pin-up girl part of her life, but why make yourself look older? I know, I digress. 

And I reluctantly have to give a shout out to Jamie Lee Curtis. For some reason, I am not a fan.  I find her insufferably smug on talk shows and her little stints on reality TV, but I will say, she has been giving her recent acting roles her all. I admire how she is not afraid to go for it.  She magnificently chewed the scenery in "The Bear" and here has some small scenes where she makes you feel the pain of an aging woman in a world where youth and beauty is everything.  She was rewarded with a Best Supporting Actress Bafta nomination. So kudos to her.

And props to Dave Bautista who gets to show his dramatic acting chops.  He usually plays villains, odd sci/fi characters and lunkheads.

Rosy the Reviewer says...the film does a good job of capturing a world where youth and beauty are major commodities and what it would be like for a woman aging in that world. Pamela Anderson poignantly takes us there and you will want to be there with her. (for rent or purchase on Amazon Prime and Apple+)

A Real Pain (2024)

Two polar opposite cousins take a trip to Poland to learn more about their family and honor their grandmother but there is some "pain" there.

Benji Kaplan (Kieran Culkin) is, shall I say? - an outspoken free spirit (more like a smart ass).  His cousin David (Jesse Eisenberg) is one of those closed up, reserved guys. Let's just say they don't get each other and had not been in touch for awhile. Using funds left by their late grandmother, they are embarking on a Jewish Heritage Tour through Poland and to also see their grandmother's home and reconnect with their family history. Same goal, two different personalities.  You know what they say about traveling.  It's a make or break when it comes to marriages and friendships. So expect some conflict.

In Warsaw, David and Benji meet their tour group members: Mark (Daniel Oreskes) and Diane (Liza Sadovy), a retired married couple from Shaker Heights, Ohio; Marcia (Jennifer Grey, who I never seem to recognize now since her nose job), a recent divorcee from California; and Eloge (Kurt Egyiawan), a survivor of the Rwandan genocide who converted to Judaism. The tour is led by James (Will Sharpe), a mild-mannered, knowledgeable Englishman. On the first day, the tour visits the Monument to the Ghetto Heroes, Grzybów Square, and the Warsaw Uprising Monument, and Benji indulges in some shenanigans that embarrass David. 

Then the group travels to Lublin by train on the second day. Benji doesn't like traveling first class on a Holocaust Tour - I mean, their ancestors were shuttled onto cattle cars and then killed, right?.  Okay, he has a point but then Benji gets on James' case for his focus on facts and statistics and lack of emotion at the Old Jewish Cemetery furthering David's embarrassment. Benji continues to misbehave and make uncomfortable comments during a group dinner later that evening but you can't help but think that Benji is saying what others may be thinking. When Benji leaves the table, David opens up to the group about the complex nature of their relationship and his confusing feelings about his cousin.  

On the last day of the tour, the group visits Majdanek, a Nazi concentration and extermination camp where incredible pain was inflicted on other humans. Back at the hotel, David and Benji smoke a joint together on a hotel rooftop and Benji confronts David about his changed personality and asks why he never visits him. Truths and personal pain are shared.

As a personal aside, on one of our trips to Europe we visited Mauthausen Concentration Camp in Upper Austria and witnessing something like that is a painful moment to be sure.  When we walked by the ovens, our daughter was overcome and had to leave.

Written and directed by Jesse Eisenberg (his screenplay was nominated for an Oscar), this is an original buddy picture with a lot of heart. Rumor has it that Jesse was going to play Benji, but after Kieran has picked up numerous awards for this role (Golden Globe, Oscar, etc.), it's difficult to imagine anyone else playing the part, though Jesse certainly could have done it. Jesse plays straight man to Kieran's out there character, and I have to say, before seeing the film, but after seeing countless acceptance speeches and interviews from Kieran, I thought he was just playing himself or his "Succession" character - both out there personas - and though my thoughts on that were mostly valid, he actually went much deeper into this role than I have seen him in the past. Kieran has gotten all of the praise for his performance but I have to say that Jesse's screenplay was wonderful and his direction sensitive and powerful at the same time.

Rosy the Reviewer says...part historical travelogue and part buddy picture, the film examines different kinds of pain, all with Chopin's beautifully painful music playing in the background. Highly recommended. (Hulu)

Companion (2025)

What if you could just put in an order your next love interest and program it?

The film begins with a young woman, Iris (Sophie Thatcher), strolling through a supermarket remembering meeting her boyfriend Josh (Jack Quaid) for the first time. 

Flashback to Iris and Josh traveling to a remote lake house to meet friends Kat (Megan Suri), couple Eli (Harvey Guillen, who I just loved in "What We Do in the Shadows") and Patrick (Lukas Gage), and Sergey (Rupert Friend), Kat's boyfriend who owns the house.  I should have known it was going to turn into a weekend from hell. Whenever people travel to a remote lake house, that is often an ominous clue that some bad stuff is going to go down.  And it does. When Iris is assaulted by Sergey and retaliates, when she attempts to explain what happened, Josh tells her, "Iris, go to sleep," shutting her down.

What!!??

You see, Iris is a companion robot Josh is renting from the Empathix company.  Her emotions and intelligence are controlled by an app on Josh's phone.  News to her.  When she wakes up and Josh gives her this information, this is a shock to her.  And it also turns out that Josh wasn't just in this for a love/sex interest.  He has planned to use her in a nefarious plot.

But our Iris may be a robot but she's not a dummy.  She does a runner and all hell breaks loose as Josh and the others go looking for Iris to shut her down.  Josh is a very, very bad man. Will he get what's coming to him? There are lots and lots of enjoyable twists and turns to find out.

Sophie Thatcher is wonderful in this.  She made her mark in the Showtime series "Yellowjackets" and more recently starred in "Heretic," which I reviewed positively.  Jack Quaid is the son of Dennis Quaid and Meg Ryan and should have a successful career as a leading man, but the entire ensemble were first rate, though Bill Murray playing a Russian came to mind listening to Sergey. 

Written and directed by Drew Hancock, this is a stylish sci/fi horror comedy reminiscent of the 2013 film "Her." It asks a lot of "what if" questions such as what if all of this online dating and love affairs with our phones lead us to have relationships with robots instead of humans? What if you could have a girlfriend you could program? What if the programmed girlfriend goes rogue?  

But this is also a cautionary tale about white male misogyny and supremacy.  You know, those guys who feel entitled but who feel overshadowed by the needs of others and live in their mother's basement talking to their computers?  Maybe those "what if" questions are no longer "what ifs."  What if we are already there. Scary.

Rosy the Reviewer says...an enjoyable sci/fi horror comedy but brace yourself for a very gross ending...but it's so gross it's funny. (for rent on Amazon Prime).

See You Next Time!

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to like it and share it on Facebook, X, or other sites; email it to your friends and/or follow me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/rosythereviewer where I share short reviews about TV shows I am watching, books I am reading and all sorts of other fun stuff that doesn't appear here!

And next time you are wondering whether or not to watch a particular film, check out my reviews on IMDB (The International Movie Database). Go to IMDB.com, find the movie you are interested in.  Scroll over to the right of the synopsis to where it says "Critics Reviews" - Click on that and if I have reviewed that film, you will find Rosy the Reviewer alphabetically on the list (NOTE:  IMDB keeps moving stuff around so if you don't find "Critics Reviews" where I am sending you, look around.  It's worth it)!

Giving Some Respect to Horror Films - Some New Ones You Might Enjoy!

[I review the horror films "The Substance," "Abigail," and "Night Swim"]

I think I have mentioned this before but in case you missed it, I enjoy the occasional horror film, and I don't feel that the horror film genre gets the respect it deserves. 

Did you know that only one horror film has ever won an Oscar for Best Picture and that was "The Silence of the Lambs," way back in 1992, and one could argue that is really not a horror film. Yes, some horrific scenes but not a horror film in the classic sense.  Likewise, few horror films have won awards for acting and only three for visual effects.  Even with wonderful visual effects, horror films are often written off as low art and second-rate, when in fact, they can be thought-provoking, cathartic, funny even, and often explore important themes such as mental health and racism and the sometimes scary thoughts that we have to deal with in our everyday lives, like what if you run into a zombie or your mother-in-law?  I kid.

But horror films fill a niche. Sometimes we just need a few jump scares to get us out of our comfort zones, shake us up a bit, and get us thinking.  Believe it or not, horror films often have a moral to the story that makes us go "Mmm."

So I am here to share with you some horror films that are worth watching for just those reasons.

The Substance (2024)

Not looking as youthful as you would like?  Well, why not make a younger version of yourself? Literally.

I think that Demi Moore has been one of our most underrated actresses.  Yes, she has starred in acclaimed movies like "Ghost" and "A Few Good Men," but no one has really raved about her acting.  And I don't think it helped that she was an early member of "The Brat Pack," a dismissive term coined by a journalist to put those upstart young actors in their place.

But now Demi gets her moment and what a moment it is, albeit a bit disturbing.

Elisabeth Sparkle (Moore) is an Oscar-winning actress with a star on Hollywood Boulevard.  Her acting career has waned and now she is the star of a long-running aerobics TV show (remind you of anyone?), but that star is also fading, and on her 50th birthday, she is unceremoniously fired from her show and Harvey (Dennis Quaid), her boss, makes no bones about the fact that he is firing her because she is OLD. 

While driving home, Elisabeth is in a major car crash. At the hospital, a young male nurse gives her a flash drive advertising "The Substance," a black market serum that generates a "younger, more beautiful, more perfect" version of oneself. After some deliberation, Elisabeth orders "The Substance" and injects the single-use activator serum, resulting in a much younger version of herself that emerges from a slit in her back in what I would say was one of the most disturbing film moments since that little creature burst out of John Hurt's chest in "Alien."

So now there is Elisabeth and her younger version, Sue (Margaret Qualley).  For this to work, Elisabeth must transfer her consciousness between the bodies every seven days without exception, while the inactive body remains unconscious. The other self also requires daily injections of a "stabilizer" to prevent deterioration. 

Wouldn't you know, Elisabeth's "other self," Sue, gets Elisabeth's old aerobics TV show and the new TV show skyrockets her to fame, and she is eventually selected to host a major New Year's Eve show. Sue enjoys a confident and hedonistic lifestyle, while Elisabeth becomes more and more reclusive.

And Sue wants to continue her happy life so she is more and more reluctant to play by the rules and one night gives Elisabeth extra stabilizer fluid to keep her asleep longer.  When Elisabeth awakes, she finds that her finger has aged.  When she calls the supplier to complain, she is warned that staying as Sue longer than the seven days will result in rapid aging of her original self.  And even though the two entities are supposed to be one, both personas see themselves as separate and start to resent each other.  

You can see where this is going. All hell breaks loose in what could be described as gut wrenching - again, literally.  If you have a squeamish stomach, the blood and guts that ensue might upset you.  But, hey, it's a horror film.

All kinds of horror films are referenced here from Sue being a sort of Frankenstein's monster to a bloody moment reminiscent of "Carrie" to a long hallway that keeps showing up reminding us of "The Shining" to Elisabeth's body aging as Sue gets stronger, hints of "The Picture of Dorian Gray."

All of this and more is thanks to the gifts of Coralie Fargeat, who wrote the screenplay and directed this in-your-face reminder of how women are objectified and told "Pretty girls should always smile," and when they reach a certain age and are no longer considered "pretty," especially in the world of show business, they are often invisible and discarded. And when I say, in-your-face, the close-ups Fargeat chooses are mesmerizing and add to the horror.  More and more, this kind of camera work is being used to create tension in films and it works.  

As for Demi, I couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking making this film as a no-longer-young movie star herself, dealing with the same issues as Elisabeth. Though she still looks great, she is no longer the young in-demand ingenue she once was as fewer and fewer roles are available to women of a certain age in Hollywood. She also lost her much younger husband to a much younger actress, so I couldn't help but wonder if playing this role was liberating or depressing?  But I give Demi credit for letting herself "age" in the film, and I would say her fantastic performance is her revenge, and I hope an Oscar nomination is in the cards for her. Margaret Qualley, the daughter of Andie MacDowell, is also wonderful in this.  She has never looked more beautiful.

I have to say that the film is a bit too long and the ending is horrifically over the top - kind of lost me - and I think I said out loud, "Oh my God!"  But hey, it's a horror film. And speaking of Oscars, the make-up people should get nominations.  When you watch the ending, you will know what I mean.

So what's the moral? There is an obsession with youth and beauty and women are held to a standard they can't live up to and trying to stave off aging by making a deal with the devil can be a horror story.

Rosy the Reviewer says...if you like psychological horror, this is for you because it will definitely get in your head (but brace yourself for some stomach-churning scenes). (For rent of purchase on Amazon Prime or Apple+)

Abigail (2024)

Be careful who you kidnap!

Young ballet dancer Abigail's (Alisha Weir) father is Kristof Lazaar (Matthew Goode), a powerful crime lord.  She is abducted by a band of baddies consisting of Joey (Melissa Barrera), a former Army medic and recovering drug addict; Frank (Dan Stevens), a former NYPD detective; Sammy (Kathryn Newton), a hacker born into money who is just into crime for the thrills; Rickles (William Catlett), a former Marine; the not-too-bright Peter (Kevin Durand); and psychopath, Dean (Angus Cloud).  They take Abigail to a creepy, secluded mansion where they meet Lambert (Giancarlo Esposito), the mastermind behind the plan to ransom Abigail for $50 million.  You might make the connection between the baddies names. No one is supposed to know each other's real names so Lambert names each of them after members of Sinatra's Rat Pack.

Joey is chosen to watch over Abigail. She feels sorry for Abigail and bonds with her, promising Abigail that she will protect her. Abigail shares that her father doesn't really care about her and will not pay the ransom. Joey no longer likes the kidnapping plan because she didn't realize that Abigail was a child.  Uh-oh. There is also something else about Abigail she didn't realize.

When Dean is attacked and Sammy finds Dean's decapitated corpse (and it's not pretty), the group realizes that their hiding place has been discovered and they think that Lazaar's famed enforcer, Valdez, is inside the house (he was famous for mutilation and decapitation). Rickles decides he is outta there but when he tries to leave, they realize they are trapped.  

And then Abigail reveals her real self and her revenge plot.

Let the vampire violence and mutilation begin!

Alisha Weir's face is soulful and poignant until it's not. Each member of the ensemble cast has a different role that provides drama as well as comic relief and you mostly care as each one is killed off in a creative way a la Agatha Christie's "And Then There Were None" plot device.  Well, almost all of them are killed off.  It's fun to see Dan Stevens who was my favorite "Downton Abbey" character (he was Matthew Crawley). He seems to have made a career for himself playing villains and in this - geez - he is about as far from Matthew Crawley as one could get.

Written by Stephen Shields and Guy Busick and directed by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett, the film is slow to get going by horror movie standards, but once it does get going, it's non-stop scary moments and over-the-top blood and gore for the next hour. Though the plot gets very convoluted, the ballet theme mixed in with the blood and guts is fun and the film provides tense moments and solid production values that make for a satisfying, if grisly, experience that fans of vampire horror films will enjoy. But it was intense. I actually put my hands over my face a couple of times and when the first body blew up into blood and guts, I said "Ick" and when the second one did the same thing I said, "Oh my God" out loud, and I was all by myself. But I definitely had a bit of catharsis!

So what's the moral?  Sometimes good deeds are rewarded and some exploding bodies can provide catharsis, especially in these challenging times.

Rosy the Reviewer says...if you like your horror with some blood and gore as well as funny banter, this is for you! (Peacock)

Night Swim (2024)

A new thing to worry about.  Murderous pools!

In 1992, a young girl, Rebecca Summers (Ayazhan), goes out to her family pool one night to retrieve a toy boat belonging to her sick little brother. While she tries to get the boat, something in the pool pulls her underwater.

Flash forward to the present day, the Waller family—Ray (Wyatt Russell), Eve (Kerry Condon), and children Izzy (Amelie Hoeferle) and Elliot (Gavin Warren)—move to a new neighborhood after Ray has been forced to retire from his baseball career due to MS. They decide to purchase a house with a swimming pool in the backyard, especially after hearing that the pool would be good for Ray’s condition. Gee. Do you think it's the same pool where little Rebecca was pulled under the water and died?

Duh.  

As he spends more time in the pool as part of his therapy, Ray seems to be getting better, but at the same time, Ray's personality is changing and he is acting strangely and there also seems to be something scary in the pool attacking the children. At this point, I would think Ray and Eve should have a conversation about moving. Instead, they have a pool party, that, well, doesn't go well. And then they learn about little Rebecca. 

Tracking down the Summers family, Eve meets with Lucy (Jodi Long), Rebecca's mother. Lucy reveals the pool's malevolent history.  

So what will happen? 

This is your typical "family in jeopardy" horror film, but it's also a sort of "Jaws" but for pools.  And I thought I was afraid of water because I couldn't swim. Never worried about murderous pools.

Written and directed by Bryce McGuire and produced by my favorite horror producer, Jason Blum and his crew at Blumhouse Productions, whose films run the gamut from glossy, high budget scary films starring big names ("Get Out") to comedy horror ("Happy Death Day") to low-budget films starring relative unknowns like this one (though Russell is Goldie Hawn's and Kurt Russell's son and Condon was an Oscar nominee for her performance in "The Banshees of Inisherin"), this one is 99 minutes of suspense, fun jump scare moments (you might never want to play Marco Polo again) and great underwater photography. Blum is a genius at producing films that turn the normal, everyday lives of people into horror stories.

So what's the moral?  Sometimes you have to make sacrifices for those you love...big ones.

Rosy the Reviewer says... if you can't stomach children in jeopardy, this one might be a difficult one for you, but hey...it's a horror film...you are supposed to be creeped out!  And now here is something new to be scared of.  Demon pools! (Amazon Prime)

See you next time!

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And next time you are wondering whether or not to watch a particular film, check out my reviews on IMDB (The International Movie Database). Go to IMDB.com, find the movie you are interested in.  Scroll over to the right of the synopsis to where it says "Critics Reviews" - Click on that and if I have reviewed that film, you will find Rosy the Reviewer alphabetically on the list (NOTE:  IMDB keeps moving stuff around so if you don't find "Critics Reviews" where I am sending you, look around.  It's worth it)!