Showing posts with label senior citizens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label senior citizens. Show all posts

Saturday, July 20, 2024

We May Be Old, But We're Not Dead! - Movies That Celebrate People of a Certain Age

[I review the movies "Thelma," "Our (Almost Completely True) Love Story" and "The Trip."] 

One is about an old lady who is scammed; one is about older folks finding romance; and one is about a married couple trying to kill each other, literally, but an unlikely hero saves the day.  It's a seemingly disparate group of films, but they have one thing in common - Older adults feature prominently and they are not treated as objects of ridicule.  I am so sick of movies that ridicule older people for laughs.  Oh, let's have a foul-mouthed old lady smoke some dope or chase a young man around for sex.  Wouldn't that be a hoot?  NO!  

So I present to you, three films that treat us older folks with the respect we deserve.  And you whippersnappers might learn a thing or two!


Thelma (2024)


When 93-year-old Thelma realizes she has been phone scammed out of $10,000, she gases up her scooter and sets out on a quest to get her money back. 

After a 70+-year career, 94-year-old actress June Squibb finally gets to carry a movie in a starring role.  And what a role it is.

Squibb plays Thelma Post who lives alone in Los Angeles.  She has a close relationship with her grandson, Danny (Fred Hechinger), which is heartwarming, but Danny spends more time looking after Thelma than looking after his own life. Thelma's daughter, Gail (Parker Posey), and her husband, Alan (Clark Gregg), live nearby but most of Thelma's friends have died and Thelma is lonely.  

Danny enjoys time with Thelma and he is teaching her how to use her computer. Good thing because there will come a time when she will need it.

One day, Thelma gets a phone call from "Danny." "Danny" tells Thelma he is in jail and needs her to mail $10,000 to a post office box to get him out.  So Thelma is rattled and mails the money.  Well, people, it's actually not Danny but a fairly prevalent scam aimed at old people. Believe it or not, I actually had one of those calls.  I heard this hoarse older voice say "Grandmaaaa."  I hung up because, one, I already knew about this scam and my oldest grandson was about three at the time!

Anyway, when Thelma discovers she was scammed, she is embarrassed.  And it doesn't help when she hears her daughter talking about putting her in an old folks home, so then Thelma gets mad and decides to take the matter into her own hands.  She enlists the help of her old friend, Ben (Richard Roundtree), who has a two-seater scooter.  Off the two go on Ben's scooter to get Thelma's money back, but first Thelma thinks they need a gun - just in case - so they head to Thelma's friend's house to get a gun.  When Ben asks Thelma if she knows how to use a gun she replies, "How hard is it?  Idiots use them all the time."  Hijinks ensue.

Speaking of old folks homes, I have to add that my son has an odd sense of humor.  He likes to point out those places to me and say, "That looks like a nice place."  Ha-ha.  Over my cold dead body.  

Written and directed by Josh Margolin, this happened to his grandmother in real life, but this film is not just about getting Thelma's money back.  It's also about how we Americans don't give our old people much credit, rather warehousing them so we don't have to worry about them anymore, where in other cultures, the older people get, the more revered they are.  Not here.  And it's also about helicopter parents hindering the adulthood of their children.  We have both ends of life's spectrum here. But most importantly, though, the film is fun, but this is not a film that makes fun of Thelma. She is not a wise-cracking, sex-starved, dope-smoking object of ridicule that we see so often in films featuring old people. This is a film that celebrates life and celebrates a fully formed woman of a certain age as Thelma takes her life into her own hands.

And this film celebrates June Squibb.  She is absolutely marvelous in this film and puts to rest any idea that old people can't still live life to the fullest. It's difficult to believe she is 94. This was Richard Roundtree's last role before his death but at 80 he still looked wonderful. "Shaft" on a scooter! It was also fun to see Malcolm McDowell as a bad guy and one wonders where Parker Posey has been.

As actress Bette Davis famously said, "Old age is no place for sissies."  She is right.  It's not easy but the message is not to give up.  Thelma doesn't give up no matter how hard it is until she gets her money back. And we older folks need to do the same.  Keep living until the end. 

I thoroughly enjoyed spending this time with Thelma and you will too. She is an inspiration.  I may not make it to 94 but it's a goal. 

So congratulations, June, on finally having your own movie.  You were wonderful. 

This was based on a real story so wait for the credits and you will see the real life Thelma. By the way, while I was watching this film, a scammer called me!  I must be on the old lady list.

Rosy the Reviewer says...we may be old but, like Thelma, we are not sissies! Us older folks still have a lot of life to live and wisdom to share.  Now call your Mom! (For rent on Apple+) 


Our (Almost Completely True) Love Story (2021)



Opposites attract...literally.

This is an odd little movie but I have to say it struck a chord. Jennifer Lopez's film "This is Me...Now" is a Gen X true life love story that celebrated the rekindling of her romance with Ben Affleck (though we know how that turned out).  This film is actress Mariette Hartley's version, but a film about finding love for Post War Babies, though Baby Boomers will also be able to relate.

For those of you who remember actress Mariette Hartley, this is her true life story of meeting her husband, Jerry Sroka, late in life.  Now 84, she and Jerry have written and produced this little film highlighting their love story along with commenting on what it's like for aging actors and actresses in Hollywood (Morgan Fairchild, Tess Harper and Bernie Koppel have cameos - remember them)?

And for those of you who don't know who she is, Hartley starred in the films "Ride the High Country" and "Marnie" as well as tons of TV shows and TV movies but is probably most famous these days for her Polaroid camera ads that she did with James Garner. Sroka is less famous, though he starred in "Godspell" and is known for doing "voices ("The Wild Thornberrys").

Hartley and Sroka have been married in real life for almost 40 years and this film written by them and directed by Don Scardino is their (almost completely true) love story about two unlikely people meeting later in life: she a tall, famous, aging actress, he a short, out-of-work, Jewish voice actor. The film touches on the perils of finding love in your 60's, the difficulty being vulnerable.  We get insight into Hartley's life, her issues with her father who killed himself and though Sroka can be annoying with his constant jokes and fake voices, he finally realizes how he has been hiding his insecurities behind those voices.  When the two take the risk to be vulnerable they find love. 

The film also touches on the difficulties of finding work in Hollywood when you are of a certain age. So what do you do in Hollywood when you are past your prime and the offers stop coming?  Why, you write and star in your own movie! And that's what Hartley and Sroka have done. 

Rosy the Reviewer says...this couple and this sweet little love story will grow on you and remind you that love can come at any age and comes in all shapes and sizes. (Amazon Prime)




The Trip (2021)


A married couple head off on a trip to a remote cabin, neither realizing that each is planning on murdering the other.

Lars (Aksel Hennie) is an unhappy soap opera director and his wife, Lisa (Noomie Rapace), is an unsuccessful actress. They are not happy together and bicker constantly. They can't even play a game of Scrabble without getting into a big fight.  However, they decide to get away to a rural cabin owned by Lars' dad (Nils Ole Oftebro), but what they don't know is that they are both planning to murder the other. And what else they don't know is that there are also some bad guys out there who are not only going to mess up their plans but try to mess up their lives.

As Lars goes up behind Lisa to attack her with a hammer, she tasers him, leaving him temporarily immobilized. But then Lars' friend, Viktor (Stig Frode Henriksen), arrives and knocks Lisa out. Viktor has been promised half of Lisa's life insurance policy for helping Lars kill her. But when Lisa wakes up, she offers Viktor more money to kill Lars and a fight ensues.  A gun goes off and the bullet goes up into the ceiling, the ceiling collapses and down fall three men! 

They are Petter (Atle Antonsen), Dave (Christian Rubeck) and Roy (Andre Eriksen), three escaped convicts, who had taken refuge in the deserted cabin not realizing that Lars and Lisa were going to show up. Lots of shocking brutality ensues, some of it reminiscent of "Deliverance," if you know what I mean.  Who knew these Scandinavians could be so violent?  It's almost one of the most violent movies I have ever seen, but it's the kind of violence that is so over the top that it becomes funny. I mean, how many times can you get bashed over the head but keep coming back for more?  I felt like I was in an adult version of "Home Alone."

Though this is a Norwegian film, Rapace is actually Swedish. She was Lisbeth Salander in the original "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo," the Swedish version, which was a great movie.  

And now I am going to rant a bit.

The Swedish version of "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" was a perfect example of how unnecessary it is for us Americans to remake a perfectly good film just because it's not in English and viewers have to read subtitles. Ironically, Rapace went on to have a big international acting career anyway and the American version of "Girl" was also a big hit and made Rooney Mara, who played Lisbeth, a big star. But that doesn't always happen.  Often, the original film that inspired the American version is forgotten and replaced by an inferior film and that makes me mad. Rant over.  

Not to be confused with the 1967 movie of the same name, this is a different kind of trip entirely. This is a dark comedy written by Tommy Wirkola, Nick Ball and John Niven and directed by Wirkola, but though you can see a mile away how banding together to fight off the bad guys will make Lisa and Lars rethink their relationship, (because nothing bonds a marriage together more than bad guys trying to kill you both), but there is a big twist at the end that you won't see coming that makes this film fit into my old people theme. Never discount us old folks!

Rosy the Reviewer says..."The Trip" is a trip! (Netflix - in Norwegian with English subtitles)




Thanks for reading!

See you next time!

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to like it and share it on Facebook, X, or other sites; email it to your friends and/or follow me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/rosythereviewer 

And next time you are wondering whether or not to watch a particular film, check out my reviews on IMDB (The International Movie Database). Go to IMDB.com, find the movie you are interested in.  Scroll over to the right of the synopsis to where it says "Critics Reviews" - Click on that and if I have reviewed that film, you will find Rosy the Reviewer alphabetically on the list (NOTE:  IMDB keeps moving stuff around so if you don't find "Critics Reviews" where I am sending you, look around.  It's worth it)!


Tuesday, July 15, 2014

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly of Getting Old: A Retired Baby Boomer Reflects on Aging

We all get old.

Even us forever young Baby Boomers.

As I reflect on aging (and that's what old people do, we reflect), I am inspired by this Clint Eastwood "spaghetti western."

Is there anything good about getting old?

What's bad about it?

Worse, what's ugly about it?


 
Even Clint got old, though he is not a Baby Boomer.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
But he is still a great filmmaker as his new movie "Jersey Boys" will attest (see my review in my post "Kevin Costner Sports Movies and The Week in Reviews"), so that's good.
 





But now he's cranky...and that's bad.

 
 
And did you see that mess at the Republican Convention?

That was ugly.




I am not commenting on his politics. I am embarrassed for his showing his age by being so unaware of how bumbling he appears.


There really are some good things about aging and definitely some bad and ugly things about it.


Let's discuss.


The Good

I asked Hubby what was good about getting old.  He said perspective. 

Perspective means we now have the power to see how our lives fit in.

Then I asked him if he would give up perspective for a 32" waist again.  He didn't answer.

If you were to ask me that question, my first answer would be "nothing." 

But then once I start thinking about it, I can come up with some things.

Senior discounts. 
If I can remember to go to the movies on Tuesday, it's only $6.00.  Likewise, if I rode the bus, my senior discount would also kick in, but, please lord, don't make me ride the bus.

Social Security.
I get paid for doing nothing though I worked my ass off for 50+ years to get an amount of money that no one could live on.  Thank goodness I had the foresight (well, actually it was dumb luck) to work in public service so I also have a pension that also pays me for doing nothing.

Retirement.
If you have the means to do so, being able to retire from an 8-5 job to doing what you enjoy is a good thing.  Now my new job is watching movies and talking to you!

Wisdom.
You know some stuff.

Adventures.
You have an endless array of stories and adventures to bore, I mean, share with your friends.

Worries.
You don't have to worry anymore about how your life is going to turn out.  You already know.

And you ladies will enjoy this one.
No more visits from Aunt Flo!





The Bad

Retirement.
It's a bad thing if you don't have the means to do so or are forced to retire when you don't want to.  Some people are married to their jobs, define themselves by their jobs and won't know what to do with themselves when given freedom.  That's too bad.

Wrinkles.
There are those who think of wrinkles as something they have earned and they wear them proudly.  I am not one of those people.

Weight Gain.
For some of us, it is inevitable, especially if we are in the "saving our face" camp instead of the "saving our butts" camp.  (See my post "How Not to Look Old" for more enlightenment on that topic)

Aches and Pains.
Ouch.

Forgetfulness.
What?

You are Invisible.
I started noticing this when I hit the dark side of 40.  Wolf whistles (not that I approve) and compliments were replaced with...nothing.  I no longer existed.

Being called Ma'am.
On those few occasions when I wasn't invisible, being called Ma'am was just as bad. This may seem like a small thing, but we Baby Boomers don't like that sort of thing.


The Ugly

Bette Davis got it right when she said, "Aging isn't for sissies."


Bette knew what she was talking about.  She didn't age well.

 

Yes, there is the physical ugly we have to deal with as we age.

But there is ugly and then there is UGLY.

Yes, Bette didn't age well, but to her credit, she didn't try to stave it off with tons of plastic surgery like so many big-lipped actresses have done who now have 23-year-old faces with 65 year old necks.

But apart from the physical ugly, there is the emotional ugly of getting old.

The really ugly thing is what happened to her relationship with her daughter.

She had to live with the fact that she had an ungrateful daughter who wrote a "Mommy Dearest" book about her. 

That's pretty ugly.

I read the book and from what I can gather, Bette wasn't a bad mother who inflicted the kind of mistreatment on her daughter that Joan Crawford did on her daughter.  She in fact was a doting mother who supported both her daughter and her husband financially. It comes off as a daughter who married a guy who was a born again Christian and didn't approve of her mother while at the same time taking her money. Her daughter then denounced her mother for just about everything and made money off of her by writing a cruel book.

But then Bette let her daughter marry this 20+ guy when her daughter was only 16, so go figure. 

That's another ugly thing about getting old.  We have to live with our mistakes.  

 
It's interesting that she and Joan Crawford were contemporaries who aged at the same time  and even starred in horror films in their later years.  Remember "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?"
 
 
 
Both of their daughters felt the need to castigate them in public.  Joan might have been a "Mommy Dearest," but I didn't get that from the book about Bette.  What I got was an ungrateful daughter whose husband didn't approve of her mother.
 
What did Shakespeare say in King Lear about an ungrateful child?
 
"How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is
To have a thankless child!"
 
That's pretty ugly.
 
In old age, family troubles are ugly.
 
Another thing that can be an ugly part of getting old is regret.
 
I don't trust people who say they have no regrets about how they have lived their lives.  That seems to be the height of arrogance.
 
Yes, it does no good to dwell on the past, but it certainly helps to have regrets, so that you don't repeat the bad stuff you did in your past or miss the opportunities you passed over the first time.
 
I have three main regrets and they probably are not what you would think. 
 
I mean, I could regret getting married young and missing my chance to live in Europe during my junior year of college.  Gee, now that I think of that, I do really regret that.
 
I could regret following that marriage with a few more, but then if those hadn't happened, I wouldn't have met Hubby or had my children.
 
No, these are my three main regrets.
 
I regret not flying to Sweden when my son had an eye injury.
 
I regret not going to help our daughter through an emotional emergency and sending Hubby instead.
 
(In those days, I had an irrational fear of not just flying, but of doing things alone).
 
But my biggest regret, and it should have been the easiest thing to do, was not getting in bed with my mother the night before we had to admit her to a nursing home after she suffered a stroke that brought on dementia.
 
My sister and I were at her house making arrangements, and I couldn't sleep.  I was sleeping in the basement and then went upstairs to try to sleep on the couch, then back to the basement.  It went like that all night, me wandering around, upset by my mother's condition, and wanting to slip into bed next to her and tell her I loved her.
 
But I couldn't do it.
 
I'm not sure why.
 
Maybe I was reacting to the fact that our family wasn't particularly cuddly.
 
Maybe I was afraid she wouldn't realize who I was and I would scare her.
 
Maybe I was afraid she would reject me.
 
The bottom line was - I was afraid and I missed that last, quiet opportunity to say my goodbyes to my mother because she was never the same after that.
 
As I've gotten older, the fears have dissipated but the regrets remain.
 
Regrets are an ugly part of getting old, but a natural part.
 
So there you have it.
 
Getting old has some perks.  Getting old is crap.  Getting old can be ugly.
 
But despite the wrinkles, the fat, the mistakes, the regrets, getting old also means you are still here. 
 
Because what is the alternative to NOT getting old?
 
Right.
 
What do you think is good, bad or ugly about getting old?
 
Discuss!
 
 
See you Friday
For
"Celebrate What's Fabulous
and The Week in Reviews"
 
 
 
Thanks for reading!

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Tuesday, January 7, 2014

My Retirement Journey - Six Months Later

“Oh the places you'll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all.”  - Dr. Seuss, "Oh the Places You'll Go." 



Thanks, Dr. Seuss.  That's what I thought was going to happen when I retired. 


It has almost been exactly six months since I retired (I retired July 1, 2013), so I wanted to assess how it's going since I first wrote about it one week after retiring in my blog "Retirement: First Week in Review and What I've Learned So Far." 

Before I retired,  I did a bunch of research and learned I was supposed to have purpose, structure, and community to have a successful retirement, so I set about making that all happen. 


Here was my plan:
 
Every day I would jump out of bed eager to begin my new life of retirement.  I would structure my day by reading, meditating and going to the gym followed by other fabulous activities. 

I would take zumba classes, have regular hours volunteering at the senior center, teach the dogs new tricks, take horse-back riding lessons, cook, lose weight, visit my children, travel, play chess, play the piano, join a chorus, redecorate, take golf and tennis lessons, get involved in politics, and take classes.  I would do my makeup and hair and dress up nicely and get out there in the community and make a difference, just as I felt I had done while working.
 
Six months later, it's not quite working out that way. 

This is the reality:
 
7:00am                    Zzzzzz

8:00am                    Zzzzzz

9:00am                    Zzzzzz

9:30am (or somewhere in the vicinity)  I get out of bed

10:00am                  Drink tea and read the paper followed by "The View"

11:00am                  Work on blog and other computer stuff

Noon                        Have lunch

1:00pm                     Meditate (maybe), Go to gym (maybe), followed by
                                 errands (maybe)

3:00pm                     Get cleaned up (maybe)

4:00pm                     Happy Hour with Hubby (he works at home 7-4)

5:00pm                     Make dinner

6:00pm                     Eat dinner

7:00pm                     DVD or TV

And what about all of those activities I had listed?

Take Zumba classes? 
Yes, I bought the special shoes and everything, but didn't like having to get up early and my dance moves sucked

Volunteer at the Senior Center?  Nope

Teach the dogs new tricks?  Are you kidding?



Take horse-back riding lessons?  Nope.  I started to worry about falling off

Cook? 
Yes, but my experimenting has resulted in Hubby getting mad at me for making so much food.

Lose weight?  Nope

Visit my children?  Yes, but I've realized they have their own lives, so frequent visits and long stays from Mom aren't on the agenda

Travel? 
Hubby is not retired so we are restricted by time and money

Play chess?  Nope

Play the piano?  Nope

Join a chorus?  Nope

Redecorate?  Nope

Take golf and tennis lessons?  Nope

Get involved in politics?  Nope

Take classes?  Nope

Get dressed up everyday? 
Nope.  Some days I don't even get out of my pajamas

Get out in the community and make a difference?  Not yet



I am actually joking a bit here.  Well, half joking anyway.  I am doing it to make a point.


“When you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.”
 
- Dr. Seuss, "Oh the Places You'll Go."  


I retired a year earlier than my full retirement age, so my peers will most likely be retiring this year or later.  The point I want to make and the lesson I have learned these last six months is that retirement is not just an extension of what you have been doing for the past 40 years.  It's an opportunity for a new life - a do-over, if you will.

Yes, it's true, I haven't accomplished that much in terms of learning new skills or losing 20 pounds or running for Mayor  - yet - but the last six months have given me that time to reflect, time I didn't really have when I was problem solving other people's problems or putting out those pesky work fires and then trying to fit in all of my personal stuff like going to the gym, spending quality time with my family and friends and running the household. 


“You'll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.”  
- Dr. Seuss, "Oh the Places You'll Go."  



Lest you think I am a total loser, I enjoy writing my blog and the blogging community, meditating, going to the movies and going on long walks with Hubby. 



I belong to a book group, and I have been appointed to the local Council on Aging, so I look forward to making a difference working with that group and advocating for seniors. So I feel there is community and purpose to all of that.

As for structure, here is actually what my daily routine looks like now:

Monday -   Write Tuesday and Friday blogs
                  Exercise at home
                  Meditate

I started with Oprah's 21 Day Challenge and have since gotten into some of Deepak Chopra's other series of meditations and find them very healing and comforting.

Tuesday - Tweak and publish Tuesday blog
                 Meditate
                 Go to the gym
                 Go to a movie
                (Senior discount on Tuesdays - catch my reviews in my Friday blog)

I have rediscovered my love of going to movies.  There is actually a sort of meditation involved with sitting in the darkened theatre, especially at matinees during the week, when I have the theatre practically to myself.

Wednesday - Special Project Day
                      Get some of those pesky projects that have been hanging over
                      my head done such as cleaning out kitchen cabinets, washing
                      curtains, etc.

Thursday -     Gym, Errands

Friday -          Fabulous Friday 

After tweaking and publishing my Friday blog and exercising, get dressed up so I don't look like the slob I look like the rest of the week.  Go out for Happy Hour with Hubby.



Saturday -       Sexy Saturday
I will let you figure that one out.

Sunday -           Day of rest 
"Let the day take me away." Anything that strikes my fancy


“You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. but mostly they're darked.
But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?”
- Dr. Seuss, "Oh the Places You'll Go." 


I met someone recently who had retired a year and a half ago and we were talking about what retirement felt like. 

She said, "It has taken me this long to realize that this is my life now." 

A simple statement, but I found it very profound. 

 "This IS my life now." 

And like starting one's own business, it is up to me for good or ill to make it successful.   

So now I have that list of things I want to pursue that I can add to my days at any time. 

Six months from now my routine might look very different.  My purpose changed.

But, you know what?  If it doesn't, I am not going to stress about it.  I am enjoying this time with myself.


“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...”   - Dr. Seuss, "Oh the Places You'll Go." 


Thanks, Dr. Seuss! 

How is your retirement going?

 
See you Friday for my list of
the
Best TV Food Shows
and my
Week in Reviews.
 
 
Thanks for reading!
If you enjoyed this post, feel free to share it and/or email it to your friends.