"Chappie" and the Week in Reviews

[I review the new movie "Chappie" and DVDs "Dumb and Dumber to" and "A Coffee in Berlin." The Book of the Week is "Girl in a Band" by Sonic Youth's Kim Gordon. I also bring you up to date on "My 1001 Movies I Must See Before I Die Project: "Paranormal Activity" and recommend a lovely evening of theatre: "Jacques Brel is Alive and well and Living in Paris"]

 

 

Chappie

 

 

It's a futuristic Johannesburg, South Africa, lots of crime kept under control by a robotic police force.  One "rejected" robot becomes the guinea pig in an experiment to see if a robot can be made to think and feel as a human.

Several warring factions come together in this film that explores the issues of playing God and what makes us human.

Dev Patel (who is not hamming it up quite as much as he does in the "Exotic Marigold Hotel" movies) is Deon Wilson, the creator of the robot police force (Scouts) that can understand human speech and take orders from humans.  He works for Tetravaal, a company run by CEO Michelle Bradley (Sigourney Weaver, who doesn't have a whole lot to do except look angry or concerned, but I am always happy when actresses of a certain age are working). But what Deon really wants to be able to do is create a robot that can think and act on his own.  After a long night of Red Bull, though, he thinks he has mastered the program.  Now he just needs a robot to test it on.

Then we have Vincent Moore (Hugh - What Can't This Guy Do? - Jackman) whose religion is against artificial intelligence. He has created "Moose," a huge robot that takes orders from the mind of its operator.  However, Vincent's creation has taken a back seat to the droids Dion has created and Vincent is not happy about it.

Add to that mix a trio of hapless criminals, Ninja, Yolandi (Yolan-di Visser) and America (Jose Pablo Cantillo) who owe their drug supplier 20 million and who need one big heist to pay him back. They get the "brilliant" idea to kidnap Deon and steal his remotes that control the police robots so they can turn them off. They kidnap Deon only to find that there are no remotes, no on/off switches for the robots.  But what they do find in Deon's van is a rejected robot that Dion was planning to use for his experiment.

Enter Chappie (Sharlto Copley).

The bad guys order Deon to put the robot together because Ninja wants a badass, gangster robot to help them with their heist.  Deon explains that the robot will need to learn language and how to do things because at first he will be like a baby. 

So we have a Pygmalian-like tug of war as the Mad Max-like-thugs try to make Chappie into their likenesses while Deon tells Chappie he must not rob or hurt others.  Chappie takes Deon very seriously as Deon is his "creator," but he also thinks of Yolandi and Ninja as Mommy and Daddy and he also wants to do what they tell him.

This film is written and directed by South African director Neill Blomkamp who brought us the wonderful and original "District 9," which was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Picture in 2009.  Here what's interesting is the blurred lines between who are the bad guys and who are the good guys, not to mention the charming Chappie, whose antennae act like doggy's ears as he reacts to the world around him.  You can't help but love him.

Hugh Jackman is almost unrecognizable in his mullet, but once again, even as a villain, this guy is hugely talented.  Dev Patel has that over-the-top personality so in evidence in the "Exotic Marigold" movies, but here he is toned down and believable.  But other than Chappie, Ninja and Yolandi were stand outs.  And then there is Chappie. Copley brings Chappie to life.  You really feel for him.  Yes, I teared up.

However, there are some plot problems, like why the bad guys would let Deon go and why Deon would leave Chappie behind with them, but if you can ignore those and think of this as a sort of fairy tale - "Transformers" meet "My Fair Chappie," there is humor, lots of action and pathos.

Rosy the Reviewer says...Chappie is a fine chap who you will enjoy spending a couple of hours with.

***DVDS***

You Might Have Missed

(And Some You Will Be Glad You Did)

Dumb and Dumber to  (2014)

 

It's been 20 years since Lloyd (Jim Carrey) and Harry (Jeff Daniels) have seen each other and now it's time to find Harry's daughter.

They need to find Harry's daughter, Penny (Rachel Melvin), not just because Harry didn't know he had a daughter, but because he also needs a kidney.

They do find Harry's daughter Penny, and guess what?  She is also dumb.  Geez, how funny. If you think that's funny, then this is for you. Or perhaps a long segment of Harry pulling a catheter out of Lloyd or throwing a banana peel into a coffin at a funeral is funny to you. Toe licking?  Farting into the back seat of a hearse and then shutting the partition so the person in there is stuck with the fart?  A cat who farts feathers after eating a bird (Farting is big in this film)? If that sort of thing is funny to you then fine, you might like this.  All I could say was "Ew," and that was when I wasn't shaking my head asking myself "Why are you here?"

The funniest bit is the opener with Harry visiting Lloyd in a mental hospital where he has been for 20 years.  Harry has been visiting him every week for all of that time and when Harry opens up to Lloyd and tells him he has a health issue, Lloyd jumps up and says, "Gotcha!"  He's been faking it for 20 years.  Harry then asks him, wouldn't ten years have worked just as well?  They debate that and that's kind of funny.

That's kind of funny but it was downhill from there.  I only kept watching because I am not a quitter and actually I was in shock.  It wears you down after awhile - one stupid joke after another until your immune system to bad comedy has been compromised.
 
Kathleen Turner plays the mother of Harry's daughter and one wonders why she would subject herself to this film.  She suffers from almost debilitating arthritis and she doesn't look good.
 

The Farrelly brothers have produced some funny films:  "There's Something about Mary," and "The Heartbreak Kid" but this isn't one of them.  Even the first "Dumb and Dumber" was kind of funny, though not my cup of tea, but here, there is not a laugh to be had despite Jim Carrey, for whom I am a huge fan.  Maybe the Farrellys need Ben Stiller who starred in the aforementioned films.

 

All Rosy the Reviewer can say is...during this film I felt my own IQ dropping about 50 points.  This film is the single-handed reason NOT to do a sequel, especially 20 years later.  This story and characters have not aged well.

 

 

A Coffee in Berlin (2012)

A day in the life of a young German law school drop-out living in Berlin who just wants a regular cup of coffee.

Nico Fischer (Tom Schilling) encounters a series of people during his day.

His douche bag (pardon my German) psychologist who will determine whether or not our hero will get his license back (he got a DUI).  However, the psychologist asks all kinds of leading and trick questions until it becomes apparent our hero won't be driving for awhile.

His nosy new neighbor whose wife sends him up some rock hard meatballs, which seems funny at first until the neighbor starts unloading about his horrible life after only a few minutes.

The once fat girl from high school who is now hot but crazy.

As he meets more and more people, more and more silly and crazy stuff happens and all this guy really wants is a nice, regular cup of coffee.  It begs the question:  Will our hero get his cup of coffee and in so doing, find happiness?

This is writer/director Jan Ole Gerster's first film and it's shot in beautiful, colorful black and white with a jazzy score reminiscent of Woody Allen and Jim Jarmusch films.

Rosy the Reviewer says...if you like Jim Jarmusch or Woody Allen movies and you are not put off by black and white or subtitles, you might like this.  If you are under 35, you will definitely like this.
(In German with English subtitles)

***My 1001 Movies I Must See Before I Die Project***

 

270 to go!

 

Have YOU seen this one?

Paranormal Activity (2007)

 

 

A young couple move into a new home and start experiencing demonic episodes. Moral: You don't want to mess with demons!

These are the kinds of movies I usually don't watch because I am scared to and then when I do finally watch them, I realize they are not scary and it was mostly hype.

I will give this film props for the improvisational acting that gave the film a sense of reality and the use of the night vision camera was interesting, but all I could think of every time the young couple got up to investigate strange sounds was if you think there is a demon in your bedroom "TURN ON THE FRIGGIN' LIGHTS!"  Yes, it was creepy but not that scary.

Why it's a Must See:  "(to date, it is the most profitable movie of all time)...Oren Peli, a first-time filmmaker who shot the film in his own home for around $15,000...Anybody who likes being scared silly will love [this film]."
---"1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die"

Scared silly? Nope. Sorry.

So we have a low budget film that made a huge amount of money (think "The Blair Witch Project" but not as scary) and now a whole franchise has been born.  We are now up to "Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones," number five in the series.

But does low budget and spawning a franchise a classic film make?  One that I need to see before I die?

I think not.

Rosy the Reviewer says...Really?  I needed to see this one before I died?  Nope.  Sorry.

 

 

***Book of the Week***

 

Girl in a Band: A Memoir by Kim Gordon (2015) 

 

One of the founding members of the band Sonic Youth and an icon of her generation tells her story.

Kim Gordon grew up in Southern California during the 60's and 70's in a middle class family with a professor father, stay-at-home Mom with a penchant for sewing flamboyant clothes and a schizophrenic brother.  Her brother terrorized her, yet she idolized him but her experiences  with him drew her inward.  She was an artistic type who traveled to New York City to be a part of the art scene of the 80's.  It was there she met Thurston Moore, who was to become her husband and fellow band member.  Together they founded Sonic Youth, one of the iconic bands of the 80's.




Gordon admits that she is someone who is withdrawn in her personal life and then lets it all hang out with her music.

Lucky for us she lets it all hang out in her memoir - not in a juicy, dishy tell-all way but thoughtfully revealing in an almost detached shy way.  However, she isn't shy about weighing in on Courtney Love and other musicians.  She also laments what New York City is like today compared to the love poem she remembers and shares what it's like to be a woman in a rock band.

She and Moore were married for 27 years, something that is amazing for the world they lived in.  My daughter was a fan of Sonic Youth and was among those who felt that if Kim and Thurston could stay together, then there was hope for us all.  When it was announced that they were splitting, the social media response was viral. Gordon acknowledges that, but is resigned to the fact that even they were not immune to the cliché - Thurston's other life with another woman and Kim discovering that through text messages on his phone.

Here's a tip when reading memoirs written by musicians.  Listen to their music while reading, especially if you are not familiar with it.  I have been brought to a whole new musical level by creating my Sonic Youth Pandora station.  I now not only have some knowledge of Sonic Youth, but I can also now recognize The Pixies and Radiohead.

Rosy the Reviewer says...whether you are familiar with Sonic Youth or not, this is an honest and poignant memoir of a girl, a marriage and a band. Highly recommended.


 

***At the Theatre***

 

Jacques Brel is Alive and Living in Paris

 

 

Never heard of Jacques Brel?  He was to the French-speaking world what Frank Sinatra and the Beatles were to us in the U.S.

First staged off Broadway in 1968, this musical review of Brel's songs resonated with the public because of his anti-war lyrics and aching love songs.  Four singers, two men and two women, sing 26 of Brel's songs, translated into English, including the familiar "Ne Me Quitte Pas ('If You Go Away,' the only one sung in French) and "Amsterdam," which have been covered many times by other singers.


I can't believe it's taken me 47 years to finally see this show.

Rosy the Reviewer says...the show is an exquisite jewel of music and emotion.  If it comes to a theatre near you, don't do what I did and wait 47 years to see it.  In fact, don't wait at all. Don't miss it!
(Now playing at the ACT Theatre in Seattle through May 15).

Thanks for Reading!

That's it for this week.

 

See you Tuesday for

"A Perfect 24 Hours in Portland

(And Some Travel Tips You Can Use Anywhere)"

 

 

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to click on the share buttons to share it on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and LinkedIn, 
email it to your friends and
LIKE me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/rosythereviewer.

Check your local library for DVDs and books mentioned.

 

Note:  Next time you are wondering whether or not to watch a particular film, check out my reviews on IMDB (The International Movie Database). 

 

 

Here is a quick link to get to all of them.  Choose the film you are interested in and then scroll down the list of reviewers to find "Rosy the Reviewer."
 

Or you can go directly to IMDB.  

 

Find the page for the movie, click on "Explore More" on the right side panel and then scroll down to "External Reviews."  Look for "Rosy the Reviewer" on the list. Or if you are using a mobile device, look for "Critics Reviews." Click on that and you will find me alphabetically under "Rosy the Reviewer."

 

 

"Cinderella" and The Week in Reviews

[I review the new movie "Cinderella" and DVDs "Miss Meadows," and "The Two Faces of January." The Book  of the Week is "Tinseltown," where the author tries to solve the 1920's unsolved murder of director William Desmond Taylor.  I also bring you up to date on "My 1001 Movies I Must See Before I Die Project: "Lola Montes."]

 Cinderella

A new take on the classic fairy tale.

All of the usual stuff from the fairy tale is here:  wicked Stepmother (Cate Blanchett), mean stepsisters (Holliday Grainger and Sophie McShera who "Downton Abbey" fans will recognize as scullery maid Daisy), a Fairy Godmother (Helena Bonham Carter), glass slippers and adorable animals.  But under the steady hand of director Kenneth Branagh and screenplay by Chris Weitz, a new, updated and sensitive story emerges.

Cinderella, whose real name is Ella (Lily James, also from "Downton Abbey") is "just a girl," but a girl with a big heart who loved her parents and loves the home she was brought up in.  She is also feisty and brave.  The Prince (Richard Madden) is also a good guy who loves his Dad and doesn't assume Cinderella necessarily wants to marry him.

How can you go wrong with Kenneth Branagh as director, veteran actors Derek Jacobi and Cate Blanchett as the King and Wicked Stepmother respectively and the appealing charm of our Cinderella and Prince Charming, Richard Madden, who "Game of Thrones" fans will recognize as Robb Stark.  Add to that a bunch of adorable mice, the gorgeous English countryside and you have this absolutely delightful updated version of the classic tale.

All of the characters have a back story.  We learn how Cinderella ended up alone with the wicked Stepmother and stepsisters and why she didn't leave when they mistreated her. We learn how she went from Ella to Cinderella. We learn more about Prince Charming (he's not just a pretty face), and we learn why the Stepmother is so wicked, well, sort of.

And the actors play their parts well.  Blanchett is villainous in her over-the-top clothes, the sisters are snarky and stupid, the Prince is indeed charming and Cinderella is warm, virtuous and luminous.

Three-time Oscar winner Sandy Powell does a great job on the costumes, especially Blanchett's and may well be on her way to another Oscar.

And feminists.  No need to worry.  Our Cinderella is not waiting around for her Prince to come. If he hadn't, this plucky opinionated Cinderella would have figured something out.

And, too, how can you go wrong when the message of the film is "Have courage and be kind?"  I'm teary just writing this.

You and the kiddies will also be treated to a cartoon prior to the film.  Reminded me of my youth.  We always had cartoons, right?  This one is capitalizing on the "Frozen" fever and is in fact called "Frozen Fever," where our heroine catches a cold.

Rosy the Reviewer says...children and adults alike will love this film that is sure to become another Disney classic.

***DVDS***

You Might Have Missed

(And Some You Will Be Glad You Did)

Miss Meadows (2014)

Miss Meadows is a prim and proper school teacher.  Who would believe she is also a vigilante?

 

Katie Holmes stars as Miss Meadows, whose angelic face, prim clothes and tap shoes belies the fact she is deadly.

 

We first see Miss Meadows tap dancing down the street.  Yes, you heard me.  She wears tap shoes everywhere and has no problem breaking into a "shuffle off to Buffalo" step or a shim sham at a moment's notice.  As she walks down, or should I say, taps down the sidewalk in a pristine neighborhood, she is accosted by a thug who pulls a gun on her and orders her to get into his truck.  Nope.  Our Miss Meadows pulls a gun out of her itty bitty purse and wastes him and continues tip-tapping down the street. 

 

And so begins our story of "sweet" Miss Meadows with the baby voice and the white gloves deftly written and directed by Karen Leigh Hopkins.

 

The score promises a comedy albeit from the start of the film, a dark one.

 

When Miss Meadows returns home she talks to her mother (Jean Smart), calling her "Mother dear" and you get a hint of what drives Miss Meadows when her mother calls humanity a "rotting cesspool of mediocrity and decay."

 

Miss Meadows is a substitute teacher in an elementary school.  She asks the children to write get well cards for their teacher and when she goes to the hospital to deliver them, discovers the teacher has died. Later when she tells the class, one of the little girls tells Miss Meadows she thinks the world is a bad place to which Miss Meadows replies that it's their responsibility to make the world a better place and how she does this is ridding the world of bad guys, from a pedophile priest to a mass murderer in a hot dog fast food establishment.

 

Miss Meadows may not like criminals, but she is an animal lover and when she stops her car on a bridge to save a little toad, a police officer (James Badge Dale) pulls up.  They "meet cute," she corrects his English, says her trademark "toodle loo" and drives off in her 1950's Nash.  He is smitten despite the fact that on a date, Miss Meadows starts doing a tap dance routine on the grass.  If I had been he, I would have taken that as a clue to take a hike.

 

Our conflict arises when the cop realizes a vigilante is in the neighborhood and he begins to suspect Miss Meadows.

 

We eventually learn why Miss Meadows is on this mission, which is anti-climactic.  The main reason to see this film is Miss Meadows herself, who is charming, quirky and deadly if she encounters you doing something bad.

 

But don't get me wrong.  This is not a drama.  This is a comedy!

 

This is a curious choice of role for Holmes, but she is probably still trying to shake her good girl image and expand her acting range, which she does here.  I think she is underrated as an actress but appears to be making up for those lost years with Mr. Cruise.  She is also a dancer in real life, so the tap dancing angle lets her show off some of her skills.

 

Mary Kay Place has a small role as Miss Meadows' neighbor.

 

Rosy the Reviewer says...a strange little 88 minutes, but I like strange.

 

The Two Faces of January (2014) 

 

Two con-men, one an amateur, one a professional, meet in Greece and it ain't pretty.

Chester (Viggo Mortensen) and Colette (Kirsten Dunst) are living the high life on vacation in Athens in 1962.  They meet Rydal (Oscar Isaac, whose career has taken off since his performance in the critically acclaimed "Inside Llewyn Davis"), an American tour guide who lives his own version of the high life by scamming tourist. He befriends Chester and Colette.  Chester is a sort of father figure to Rydal and Rydal is attracted to Colette. Everything is hunky dory until a stranger turns up at Chester's door. All of a sudden we have a body. Rydal encounters Chester trying to dispose of the body and Chester begs for his help, thus beginning a Hitchcockian series of events where nothing goes right.

This film just reeked of "The Talented Mr. Ripley," from its story to its cinematography, and sure enough, this is an adaptation of the Patricia Highsmith novel, who wrote Ripley and this one.  Adapted and directed by Hossein Amini, who here makes his directorial debut, it's a fast-moving, tense thriller, a tale of two con-men facing off, making one frustratingly wrong decision after frustratingly wrong decision.

This is a psychological thriller featuring jealousy, deception and double-crossing with many twists and turns.  Unfortunately, the plot fails a bit two thirds of the way through.

Mortensen, Dunst and Oscar are a wonderful ensemble as they pull us into their nightmarish triangle and as Chester and Rydal test the pseudo father-son relationship.  The score is lush and dramatic and the Greek and Turkish locations are beautiful to look at.
Rosy the Reviewer says...If you liked "The Talented Mr. Ripley" or are a fan of Highsmith or Hitchcock, you will like this film. 

  

***My 1001 Movies I Must See Before I Die Project***

 

271 to go!

 

Have YOU seen this one?

 

Lola Montes (1955)

The life of the famous femme fatale, Lola Montes.

 

Martine Carol, French sex symbol of the 1950's, plays Lola (a little bit of underacting might have been in order here), who made a name for herself as a showgirl and courtesan in the 19th century. Carol reminded me a bit of Vivian Leigh. The film is part circus act, which is what she was reduced to at the end of her life, and part series of flashbacks as it tells her story. Sumptuous color reminds me of what big film productions of the 1950's used to be like.  A young Peter Ustinov plays the ringmaster and a young Oskar Werner plays a student who helps her escape Bavaria, right before he rose to international fame in "Jules et Jim."

Why it's a Must See:  [Max] "Ophuls's film, his last (and only one in color) is no conventional biopic.  Instead, he mounts a lavish baroque extravaganza, part circus, part pageant, packed with flashbacks, and sends his famously mobile camera scaling around the elaborate décor...[this film], a classic film maudit, was butchered by its distributors and long available only in a truncated version, but a recent restoration allows us to appreciate Ophuls's swan song in its full poignant splendor."
---1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die

This appears to be a cautionary tale on what can happen to you if you have too many lovers.  The ending is quite sobering.  Made me think of the film "Freaks (1932)."  Ah, the high standards we were held to in the 1950's!

Rosy the Reviewer says...an enjoyable film for those who like sumptuous 50's biopics like "Moulin Rouge (the 1952 version)" and "The Girl in the Red Velvet Swing." 
(In French with English subtitles)

  

 

 

***Book of the Week***

Tinseltown: Murder, Morphine and Madness at the Dawn of Hollywood by William J. Mann (2014) 

 

An Edgar Award finalist for Best Fact Crime, author Mann weighs in on who really killed director William Desmond Taylor, a famous unsolved 1920's murder.

William Desmond Taylor was a successful director with secrets and was found murdered in his apartment in the early morning hours. Despite witnesses to a man leaving his apartment, the murder has never been solved.  However, Mann, using never-before-seen FBI files and other sources, Mann names the killer.

Many scandals rocked Hollywood in the 1920's and the film industry strove to cover them up.  Adolph Zukor, the head of Paramount, was especially concerned.  Add actress Mary Miles Minter's unrequited love for Taylor and her domineering mother's disapproval, actress Mabel Normand, Taylor's valet (with a past) who found the body and actress Margaret Gibson, who would do anything to make it, even hang around with gangsters, and we have a cast of suspects.

Mann weaves a fascinating tale of Hollywood in the 1920's and "By jove, I think he's [solved] it."

Rosy the Reviewer says...if you are interested in the history of the movies and true crime, you will enjoy this book. 

Thanks for Reading!

That's it for this week.

See you Tuesday for

"Sisters"

 

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to click on the share buttons to share it on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and LinkedIn, 
email it to your friends and
LIKE me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/rosythereviewer.

Check your local library for DVDs and books mentioned.

 

Note:  Next time you are wondering whether or not to watch a particular film, check out my reviews on IMDB (The International Movie Database). 

 

 

Here is a quick link to get to all of them.  Choose the film you are interested in and then scroll down the list of reviewers to find "Rosy the Reviewer."
 

Or you can go directly to IMDB.  

 

Find the page for the movie, click on "Explore More" on the right side panel and then scroll down to "External Reviews."  Look for "Rosy the Reviewer" on the list. Or if you are using a mobile device, look for "Critics Reviews." Click on that and you will find me alphabetically under "Rosy the Reviewer."

 

 

What Rosy the Reviewer Loves and a Rant About Fashion Magazines

Ever since I found my sister's stash of "Seventeen" magazines, I have been an avid fashion magazine fan.

One of my happiest fashion memories is finding an outfit in our local store that had been on the cover of "Seventeen."  Of course, I had to have it and Daddy made it happen.

My morning ritual in retirement is to waddle downstairs, make myself a cup of tea and read my fashion magazines for an hour or so.

However - and here's the rant part of this post - at the same time that I enjoy this time alone with my magazines, I have also become increasingly irritated with them and it's not for the reasons you might think.

You probably think I would take issue with the impossibly high standard fashion magazines hold women to - the perfectly boyish frame, the blemish free face and the glistening hair.  Or even that women of a certain age are left out of the equation entirely.

But you would be wrong!

It's actually worse than that.

I no longer try to look like those women nor do I worry about it.  We all know even they are airbrushed and to attain and keep those skinny figures, their lives must be hell.  No pizza, no ice cream, no pasta.  No thanks.

No, what irritates the hell out of me are the impossibly high prices on the clothes and accessories that are featured.

And the worst perpetrator is Nina Garcia.

Those of you who follow "Project Runway" will know who I mean.  For those of you who don't, she is one of the judges on that show and usually likes the ugliest clothes and says the meanest things.  She has an air about her that she is just a little bit better than we are, or even than the other judges, for that matter.  She's the daughter of a wealthy Colombian, so I guess that's where she gets it from. She was Fashion Director at "Elle" magazine and is now Fashion Director at "Marie Claire."

Nina has this monthly column in "Marie Claire" magazine called "What Nina Loves" and what Nina loves is so out there when it comes to the average woman that she sounds like Marie Antoinette saying to the peasants, "Let them eat cake."  In Nina's case, she is saying to us, "Let them wear Chanel bags (Price Upon Request)."

In addition to clothes, Nina often mentions other things we can't afford: high-end food such as caviar, vacation spots (tea at The Ritz), apps, games and tchotchkes, such as the Bernardaud dinner plates she features here for $550.

This month "What Nina Loves" are "must-have" pieces inspired by contemporary art."

As I mentioned above, that little Chanel bag says, "Price upon request."  You know what that means.  If you have to ask, you can't afford it.

Nina thinks that we must have Tom Ford soap at $35 a pop and a Louis Vuitton bag charm for $745.  A $35 bar of soap?  That's right up there with pigs flying. And if I could afford a Louis Vuitton bag, maybe I would want the charm, but since I can't, I don't.

The beaded Balenciaga sandals for $1375 would be a nice addition to my wardrobe IF I COULD AFFORD $1375!  Likewise the Cartier watch and the Hermes bracelets.  But my favorite "MUST-HAVE" is the Repossi multi-finger knuckle ring. What's a knuckle ring?  If I must have it, I want to know what it is first.  All of those are "Price Upon Request" so I don't dare ask.

The only thing I could afford on both of these pages is the Marc Quinn temporary tattoo for $6, but since I already have three permanent tattoos, why would I want that?

Looking at the fashion magazines, seeing something I like and then seeing the price - a price I could never afford in a million years - kind of ruins my enjoyment of the magazines.

Doesn't Ms. Garcia realize it's just us regular folks who are reading her magazine? And if she wants us to support the fashion industry and read her magazine, we need to see some items we can afford!

So now that I have my knickers in a twist over this, I thought I would do something about it for those of us who can't afford Balmain and Hermes.

I would create my own list of "must-haves" for us regular folks!

Here is

"What Rosy the Reviewer Loves,

must-have's
inspired by not having much money.

 

 

Faux leopard vest

(A wardrobe must because leopard is the new black!)

 

Costco $20

You might not have realized what a great place Costco is for fashion, but you can find some real gems (and lunch)!  Hubby buys all of his clothes there.

 

Arm bling

 

(A wardrobe must because it will make you smile every time you look down at your arm.  You will feel richer than you are)

 

Blue bracelet - Pier 1 - $2.00

(They usually have a little can of these by the counter)

 

White bracelet - Gift from my daughter

 

Watch - Macy's

 (Price Upon Request because I can't remember what it cost but I'm sure it was less than $100)

 

Charm Bracelet - Willabee & Ward $34

 

Pearl bracelet - Macy's on sale and using a 20% off coupon

 

 

 

A Statement Dress and Jacket

(A wardrobe must because who doesn't want to make a statement?)

 

Jacket and dress - H & M - $60

 

(H & M is a goldmine of inexpensive trendy clothes and accessories - so what if they fall apart after a few wearings.  Trends aren't meant to last forever!) 

 

 

An important looking (but not expensive) leopard designer bag

(Remember what I said about leopard?)

 

This might not be a Chanel bag, but I have been all over Europe with this bag, and I have had many compliments, so there, Nina!

 

Nordstrom Rack $60 

 

 

 

Statement Earrings

(See above)

 

 

Flea Market for a pittance

 

(Flea Markets and yard sales are treasure troves of treasures)

 

 

Jaunty Hat

(A wardrobe must because who doesn't want to be jaunty?)

 

Borrowed from Hubby.  Cost?  Nothing.

 

 

Now here are some of those food and vacation "must-haves" that Nina likes to have on her list.

 

 

Kraft Macaroni & Cheese

(A must because I have searched the world over for the best Mac & Cheese recipes and none even come close to this -- and I'm a foodie!)

 

Your local grocery store - if you are lucky 10 for $10

 

 

 

 

The Perfect Cocktail at the Bengal Lounge

The Empress Hotel, Victoria, BC

 

$15

 

 

 

With a handsome man!

 

Priceless!

 

 

See? 

 

We don't need a Cartier watch to be happy and stylish, do we? 

 

I am sure you can also put together your own list of things you love, "Must-Have's" that make you happy and don't cost much.

 

So let's say it all together now.

 

Take that, Nina Garcia!

 

Eat your own cake!

 

I feel better now.

 

 

 

 

Thanks for Reading!

See you Friday

 

when I will be reviewing the new 

 

"Cinderella"

 

("Cinderella" is not just for kids anymore!)

as well as some 

DVD's to see or avoid

 

and the latest on

 

"My 1001 Movies I Must See Before

 

I Die Project."

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