Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Father's Day: Some Things To Do and Think About

I don't mean to scare you, but Father's Day is next Sunday.  Better start thinking about that card you need to send or that present you need to buy.

I know there are those of you out there who think Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day and other so-called "holidays" are just Hallmark's way of getting us to buy those overpriced cards.  It all might have started that way, but I find these kinds of "holidays" to be an opportunity to take a break from our hectic Me-Me-Me lives and do something nice for those we love.

I mean, get real.  How often do you do or say something nice to your Dad just because you love him?

So there are two prongs to this day we call Father's Day.  Prong one, if your Dad is still around and Prong two, if he isn't.

If your Dad is still around and you love him, then Father's Day is a day to remind yourself of that and ask yourself, "What could I do today to show him how much I love him and how grateful I am for all he has done for me?"

My Dad once told me that I could never repay him for everything he had done for me (he was right), so when he asked me to do something for him, he expected that I wouldn't forget.  That I would do it. That was said to me, of course, after I had screwed up.  But even though I was young, I got it. OK, Dad, sounds like a deal.

So whether or not your Dad actually said something like that to you, like my Dad did, it's really true.  If you have children, you know what my Dad was talking about.  If you don't have them yet, then just think about what your Dad has done for you.  You can't repay him like for like, but you can certainly repay him by sharing yourself, by thanking him, by doing something special for him that he would like.

If your Dad has passed away, as mine has, then Father's Day is a day for memories.  It's a day to honor him by spending some time thinking of him and all that he did for you and what you two did together.


(I'm the big one with the bonnet)!

If you will indulge me a bit, I would like to share a few anecdotes about my Dad. 

I know I have written about him before ("What Makes a Great Father?"), so I hope I don't repeat myself (my kids accuse me of that all of the time), but here are some things I remember about my Dad (and I am going to apologize in advance for any sentimentality - and there will be some).

There were trips to the ice cream store and caramel apples (we actually called them taffy apples); cider and homemade donuts in the fall (my Dad made the donuts); my Dad would take me with him to the music store where we would listen to records together in those private rooms they had; when I was a teenager, he would always let me have the car to drive my friends around; and he bought me my first pair of high heels (my mother wanted to keep me about five years old for the rest of my life). 

So many memories....

  • "You can't afford NOT to buy it."  I think I have to blame my Dad for my lack of thriftiness. He himself was a bit of a spendthrift, according to my Mom.  When I would see something I liked and it was on sale, really marked down, my Dad would utter that phrase "You can't afford NOT to buy it." I think it was more him giving me permission than anything else, and he probably said that to himself, too, to justify his spending, but it felt good to have him want me to have something.  Likewise, my Dad also believed that if you didn't get that thing "you couldn't live without," even if you couldn't afford it, later when you had all of the money in the world, you would never find that one thing again and it would always bother you.  He was right about the former, but I think I need to work on the "can't live without it" part. 

  • My Dad played trumpet in a dance band for all of the years I can remember.  His band was actually hired to play at MY PROM!!!  I was mortified.  Who wants their parent at her prom?  Now this was 1966. We still wore long dresses and long gloves and our hair up (though things were starting to get psychedelic if my dress is any indication). 
 





      
I wish I still had those earrings!

And my Dad bought me these matching leather shoes (because I couldn't live without them)!




       This was also a time that was probably one or two years before high
       schools started hiring rock bands to play at their proms. At our prom, the
       band was one of those combos you would see playing down at the beach
       so the old folks could show off their foxtrots.  The music was pretty staid,
       and we kids still waltzed around in each other's arms. I didn't like my Dad
       being at my Prom, but I must say when my Dad got up
       to play a solo on "Wonderland by Night," I was very proud.

  • This might seem macabre, but one of my happiest memories now is when my Dad was dyingCertainly it's not a happy memory that he died nor was it happy at the time that he was dying, but what makes me happy now is that I was there in his last moments.  I knew my Dad was ill, but when my mother called to say my Dad was really bad, I left my job, my husband and my young children in California to go help my mother, who was 83 and all alone with my Dad at their home in Michigan, and I planned to stay there as long as I was needed.  When it became apparent that my Dad was about to leave us, but he was struggling and in pain, the hospice nurse said to me, "Sometimes the dying need permission to go."  I was alone at my Dad's bedside and said to him, "Daddy, you have been a wonderful father but we will be fine.  It's OK for you to go.  I love you very much."  And though he had been in a coma all of that time, he said, "I love you too."  I went for a walk in the snow and when I came back he was gone. I had heard his last words and they were words of love. So though I am sad to have lost my Dad, I am very happy that I was there with him at the end.


So no matter how you feel about Hallmark, in this hectic and crazy world we live in, we have Father's Day as a day to remind us about our Dads.  Let's do something nice for our Dads on Father's Day.  If Father's Day spurs us to take pause and think of our Dads, then thank you, Hallmark.  But if you really, really hate Hallmark, you don't have to buy a card.  You can make one or write a heartfelt letter of appreciation.



 

My Dad was a wonderful father.  I know I have talked about him many times on this blog, but I can't help it.  He was an inspiration, and I miss him very much and wish that he was still here now, especially now that I am of a certain age. He didn't drink so we couldn't have drinks together, but I would love to probe that brain of his now.  I realize that I don't really know very much about my Dad and what he thought about his life and all of that.  I do know he wanted to be a cowboy, he loved guns and big American cars, he could fix just about anything, he was very understanding when I had a problem and he had a curious mind.  Isn't it sad that we only really appreciate our parents once they are gone?


He was also very patriotic.  The red, white and blue motif was not an accident. I think that jacket was from the Olympics and the hat?...well, like I said, he wanted to be a cowboy.  The shirt and necktie?  A constant.  He was ever the gentleman which made it very easy to buy him Father's Day gifts.  Ties, a given, and cuff links, because he always wore French cuffs.

So memories are important on Father's Day.  They honor our Dads but they also bring comfort to us.  I enjoy thinking about my Dad and writing about him.  He deserves to be remembered.

If your Dad is still alive, Father's Day is a chance to thank your Dad, but we shouldn't just do that on Father's Day.  We should be aware of our loved ones every day of the year and look for opportunities to show them we love them, especially now in light of recent events.  In the blink of an eye, we could lose our loved ones, and we don't want to leave anything left unsaid. 

I share all of this with you because I don't want you to have any regrets.  Once they are gone, it's too late.  I would give anything to see my Dad again.

Since my Dad has passed away, I will spend the day thinking of him and remembering what a great Dad he was and how much he affected my life which in turn affected the next generation.

My parents were 72 when my son was born so he didn't have the opportunity to learn any lessons directly from his Granddaddy, but I have talked about my Dad so much that I hope some of it has rubbed off. 



One thing I know for sure is that my son, now the father of three, is a wonderful father.  So I like to think that something must have.

 


So next Sunday, Father's Day, if your Dad is no longer alive, spend the day thinking about him and what he meant to you and, if your Dad is still around, call him up and tell him something that will make him happy. 

Or better yet, why not just do it now?

 

Thanks for Reading!
 
See you Friday


for my review of


 "Love and Friendship"


and


 The Week in Reviews

(What to See or Read and What to Avoid)

 

and the latest on


"My 1001 Movies I Must See Before

 
 I Die Project."




 


 
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Friday, June 10, 2016

"Me Before You" and The Week in Reviews

[I review the new movie "Me Before You" as well as DVDs "A Royal Night Out" and "Somm: Into the Bottle."  The Book of the Week is "The Nest" - it's FICTION!  Gasp!  And I bring you up-to-date on "My 1001 Movies I Must See Before I Die Project" with "Dersu Uzala."]





Me Before You


A sheltered small town girl is hired to care for a sophisticated Londoner who has become recently paralyzed.

Will Traynor (Sam Claflin, who "Hunger Games" fans may recognize), a handsome and successful London finance guy who favors extreme sports, wakes up one day, heads for work in the rain, and gets hit by a motorcycle only to find himself a quadriplegic with no desire to live.

Enter Louisa Clarke, AKA as Lou, a small town girl who has just lost her job in a tea shop.  She is hired by Will's parents (Janet McTeer and Charles Dance) to act as a sort of companion. Though Will is a terrible snob and finds Louisa's ebullience and choice of attire annoying, she grows on him and they form a bond.  Lou doesn't have much ambition except to help her parents (her Dad lost his job) and she hasn't been anywhere or done much. Lou has never seen a movie with subtitles or gone to a classical concert, so Will starts to enjoy showing her some of his more sophisticated pursuits while Lou sings Will silly songs and generally throws her goodwill and happiness all over him.  Will tries to encourage Lou and get her to live her life more fully. Ironically, Will doesn't want to live anymore, and when Louisa learns that Will plans to end his life, she devises a plan to get him to want to live. 

Emilia Clarke, you know, Daenerys Targaryen from "Game of Thrones," stars as Louisa Clarke (no relation). If you were expecting to see Daenerys, you will be disappointed.  You might not know this, but Emilia is not naturally a white-haired beauty whose sole purpose in life is to gain control of the Seven Kingdoms.  Rather, she is a brunette beauty, and she is about as far from Daenerys as one can get.  Emilia not only doesn't have the snow white hair, she isn't frowning all of the time or plotting how she will take back her kingdoms like she does in "Thrones."  Clarke has said on talk shows that the character of Louisa is most like her real self, so she has shed her role as Kalisi to show us her real hair and her big wide smile, the smile rarely in evidence as Daenerys.  Clarke also has the most expressive eyebrows I have ever seen. They should get their own billing.

Though this is a love story of sorts, it's Clarke's film as she plays the irrespressible Louisa who thinks by her joy and love she can will our guy to live.  For a film like this to work, you have to really, really like the character and, though I found her a bit annoying at first, just as she grew on our hero, she grew on me too.  Those eyebrows got to me.  And her shoes!  Well, you will just have to see them for yourself.

This film had all of the elements I enjoy in a film: cute leading lady who wears adorable clothes (and shoes!); a handsome leading man; the British countryside (it was filmed at Pembroke Castle in Wales, but I think we are supposed to believe it's in England); British actors I recognize -  Dance and McTeer plus you Downton Abbey fans will recognize Mr. Bates (Brendan Coyle) playing Louisa's Dad and Joanna Lumley (soon to star in an AbFab movie) even has a cameo; there is romance - Clarke and Claflin have a nice chemistry; and an ending that will give you a good cry.  What more could you ask for?

Directed by Thea Sharrock with a screenplay by JoJo Moyes from her novel, this sweet tearjerker is a welcome addition to the theatres after all of those X-Men, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Marvel Comics superheroes and sorority girls gone wild.

Rosy the Reviewer says...if you are tired of superheroes and animation and have been yearning for a romantic tearjerker, I give this one three hankies!





***Some Movies You Might Have Missed***
(And Some You Will Be Glad You Did)!

Now Out on DVD







A Royal Night Out (2015)


It's May 8th, 1945, VE Day.  WW II is finally over in Europe and everyone is celebrating in London. Princesses Elizabeth and Margaret are allowed out for one night to enjoy the fun and even Princesses can get up to no good!

This is one of those "what if" films.  What if the soon to be Queen, Elizabeth (she didn't know it then but would be Queen only seven years later) and her younger sister, Margaret, managed to steal away from their cloistered life in the castle for one night and hang out with the regular folk?  That's what we have here, a "Roman Holiday-esque" film, but this time it's England's princesses playing hooky instead of Audrey Hepburn's princess.  Rumor has it that the princesses actually did go out that night, though I doubt they got into the kind of trouble we see here.

Sarah Gadon plays the responsible Princess Elizabeth and Bel Powley, who wowed in "The Diary of a Teenage Girl," plays Margaret, the party girl and bon vivant.  Funny how that all played out in real life. Elizabeth became Queen and settled into her life of duty whereas Margaret, denied the man she really loved (Peter Townsend) because he was divorced, fell into a more decadent life.  Anyway, I am getting ahead of the story.  Now the two are just young girls who want to get out amongst the regular folk "incognito" and party.

The girls beg the Queen Mother (Emily Watson, who seems to be a staple in supporting roles these days) and the King (Rupert Everett - I wondered where he has been) to be let out with the idea the girls will find out how the people really feel about the King and the King's up-coming speech.  As you may remember from the film "The King's Speech,"  King George VI was a stutterer and giving speeches was a source of anxiety for him.  

Early in the film the two girls attend a party full of old fogies arranged by their mother.  They manage to escape their chaperones, Margaret via a conga line, and the two get separated. Elizabeth, or Lilibet as her family called her, spends the entire film roaming the streets of London trying to find Margaret. Elizabeth meets a soldier, Jack Hodges (played by Jack Reynor) on a bus and they join forces to find Margaret and a sweet and very chaste romance ensues. 

Jack shares with Elizabeth that he is disgruntled about the war and what he experienced and has gone AWOL. The two rescue Margaret from a speakeasy where her drink was spiked. The girls eventually end up back at Buckingham Palace, but outside with the crowd, where they learn about the people's admiration for the King and Queen, because they did not abandon London for safer ground during The Blitz, but stayed on in London to offer support to the people.

Written by Trevor De Silva and Kevin Hood and directed by Julian Jerrold, it's all very "fish out of water" - Elizabeth doesn't know how to ride a bus or use a public loo - and it all ends how you would expect.  They all know their roles and their destiny, but for that one night, the girls could experience what it was to be "ordinary."

The expected audience for this small film would be people like me - those who are fascinated with the Royals - but it's also just the story of two sheltered girls who have a chance to kick up their heels, so it should have a wider appeal.  And knowing what we know about the Queen and how Margaret's life turned out, the film is lots of fun.

Rosy the Reviewer says...Elizabeth declared their night out "The most extraordinary night of my life!" and you will enjoy it with her.






Somm: Into the Bottle (2015)


"Ten stories about wine."

I raved about the first "Somm" film, but don't expect director Jason Wise's follow-up to be like that first one.  The first film followed sommeliers who were trying to pass the Master Sommelier exam.  This time around it's just about the wine, but it is just as entertaining and some of the same faces from the first film are in evidence.

What do you do when you look at a wine list and you don't see any wines you recognize? 

That's the role of the sommelier - to save you the embarrassment of not knowing what the hell you are doing when presented with a wine list, or so says this documentary.

Through a series of ten sequences where ten bottles of wine are opened, we learn all about wine.

Wine One - The Winemaker

Winemakers in Austria, Italy, France and the Napa Valley talk about the adversity of growing grapes for wine and how difficult it is to translate those grapes into a wonderful glass of wine.  The sun, the wind, the land, all play a role and they can be fickle.  "Winemaking is relentless."

Wine Two - The Vintage

All about what "vintage" actually means.

Wine Three - The History

"History gives wine heart and soul."  This is all about the great Old World wines and their history.  Winos, rejoice!  Wine has been with us since the beginning of time.

Wine Four - The Wars

You don't think about how a war can affect wine but vineyards were destroyed during WW II and that's why there are no European wines from 1938 and 1939.

Wine Five - The New World

This section focuses on wines and winemakers from the "New World (U.S., South America, Australia, New Zealand and the Middle East)," and how everyone these days seems to want to have a vineyard. The focus here is on Robert Mondavi.  In the U.S. when prohibition ended, we would have been dominated by Spain and Italy if it had not been for Mondavi.  He opened his winery and took on the French winemakers and the Napa Valley came into being.

Wine Six - The Cost

Don't feel guilty about buying a $20 bottle of wine.  Think of all the people who were employed so that you could enjoy that wine - the grower, the picker to the people who made the barrels and the labels, the cork maker, the shipper, sales  people and on and on.  Up until the cork is pulled, 100's of hands have been involved.

Wine Seven - The Barrels

Here the film focuses on how the barrels are made and why - wood vs. metal and all of the pros and cons.  It's only in the last 25 years that oaky wines have lost their popularity - Yay!  It seems that the vanilla flavor that is imparted from the oak obscures mistakes.  Huge debates have ensued about oak vs. metal barrels.

Wine Eight - Point Scores

What do those wine points mean that magazines like "Wine Spectator" and "Decanter" give out?  The rating system was set up to help the consumer, but in this film, they are not deemed relevant to sommeliers.

Wine Nine - The Sommelier

Finally, we are back to the sommeliers. Sommeliers help you pair your wine with your food to make your dining experience better: muscodet and oysters, chianti and lamb, sauterne and fois gras, and champagne goes with everything.  Good to know.  But popcorn and chardonnay? However a sommelier can also be a hindrance if he or she is too opinionated (translate snobby), but the upside of using a sommelier is that you might get a wine you never knew existed in a price range that won't break the bank.

Wine Ten - The Memory

Like The Knowledge, the test a London cab driver must pass to be licensed to drive a cab in London, becoming a Master Sommelier requires the same rigorous training and massive amount of knowledge (see the first film and you will understand)Fred Dame, who played a big role in the first film, was the first Master Sommelier and started it all.

But the bottom line is that you don't have to "understand" your wine to enjoy it, so whether it's Two Buck Chuck or a $1000 bottle of Lafitte Rothschild it's all about the experience around that bottle. 

"Your perception is what makes it special. Only one thing matters.  Is it delicious?"

Directed by Jason Wise who directed the 2012 "Somm" for which this film is the follow-up, wine lovers will enjoy this and the first one, but I recommend seeing this one before the 2012 film.  What the sommeliers go through in the first film to pass the Master Test will make more sense after seeing this film. 

Rosy the Reviewer says...And you thought you knew all about wine, right?  Well, you will after these 90 delicious minutes!




***My 1001 Movies I Must See Before I Die Project***


249 to go!

Have YOU seen this classic film?






Dersu Uzala (1975)


A Russian surveying team is sent to Siberia where they meet and befriend a local tribesman who becomes their guide.

The film  opens in 1910 where Captain Arsenev (Yuriy Solomin) is searching for a grave in a forest that is being cleared for development.  He utters the word "Dersu" and the film flashes back to 1902, where Arsenev is leading a band of men on a mapmaking expedition in Siberia. There they meet an old, bow-legged peasant and they recruit him as their guide. He is Dersu Uzala (Maksim Munzuk). He starts out as a source of amusement to the men.  They think he is a barbarian and not very smart, but as the expedition encounters difficulties, Dersu proves his worth time and again and even saves the Captain's life.  A strong bond forms between Dersu and Arsenev.

Five years later, Arsenev returns and discovers that Dersu is in poor health and going blind.  Arsenev tries to help him by taking him to his home, but Dersu is not suited to civilization.  Dersu saved Arsenev but Arsenev cannot save Dersu.

Akira Kurasawa has distinguished himself as one of the most important and influential filmmakers in the history of cinema.  This was his first non-Japanese language film and his first movie filmed in 70mm.  It won the Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film in 1975. 

Why it's a Must See: "This film distringuised Kurasawa as a "genuine master, not just a skilled maker of action-oriented samuai entertainments...It's about the vulnerability and hardiness of men in the vastness of creation, but it gets to its huge theme through a buildup of little details."
---"1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die"

This was Kurasawa's only film made outside of Japan. Kurasawa had always wanted to film Vladimir Arsenyev's book and was able to do so because of a partnership with a Russian film company that financed the arduous, two year filming in the Siberian wilderness.

If you are like me and you like romantic films or films about women in beautiful costumes like Scarlett O'Hara in "Gone with the Wind," this is not a particularly pleasant film to watch.  It's more "The Revenant" than "Gone with the Wind." Like those films, this is an epic, but unlike "The Revenant," it's not a revenge film. It's a film showing men enduring harsh conditions, but Munzuk's characterization of Dersu is poignant and the message is important.  As civilization encroaches on the wilderness, so too, people like Dersu find there is no place left for them.

Rosy the Reviewer says...a beautifully photographed and poetic tale of a friendship and the end of a way of life.
(In Russian with English subtitles)


 
***Book of the Week***






The Nest by Cynthia D'Aprix Sweeney (2016)



A family saga about four siblings and "the nest," the money they hoped to inherit.  But you know how it is when it comes to families and money, right?  Right.

As Tolstoy said, "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."  And the Plumb family is one unhappy - and highly dysfunctional - family.

Leonard, the Plumb family patriarch, had set up a trust fund for his children.  Called "The Nest," it was earmarked to be passed to the children when the youngest child, Melody, turned 40.  That time has come, but unfortunately, Leo, the oldest and a bit of a lothario and all around ne'er-do-well, has gotten himself into a bit of trouble.  He crashed a car while having sex with a 19-year-old waitress and the waitress was injured, so Francie, the Plumb family matriarch, decided to pay off the waitress and send Leo to rehab using the money from "The Nest."

Needless to say, "the kids" were not happy.

The kids: There is Melody, a Westchester suburban wife and mother who has money troubles and twin teenage daughters who are headed to college. Jack, an antiques dealer, has borrowed money against the beach cottage he shares with his husband, Walter.  Walter doesn't know. And Beatrice, a once successful author, has fallen on hard times.  And then there is Leo. Now they have all gathered to confront Leo, who has just been released from rehab. They all have their problems and have been counting on "The Nest" to rescue them and now they want Leo to pay them back.

In so doing, they are all forced to look back on their lives, the choices they made, and come to grips with their secrets and failures. It's an entertaining story about what money can do to relationships, but it's also about the power of family.

It all takes place in New York City and some subplots involve a pregnancy, 9/11, some teen experimental sex and a stolen art work, the latter reminiscent of "The Goldfinch," which I reviewed back in 2014. 

This is Sweeney's debut novel and I must say, she has a way with dialogue.  It's a fast read that would do nicely this summer out in the sun with a cocktail (or two).

As you all know, I don't read a lot of fiction.  Reading this, I was reminded why.  Though I enjoyed the book, I realize that fiction is more difficult to read at the gym on the elliptical while listening to music.  Nonfiction is easier to concentrate on with all of those distractions.  Seriously, though, I am going to continue to widen my horizons and bring you some hot fiction from time to time.  Now I am off to the gym to read Bobby Brown's juicy tell-all!

Rosy the Reviewer says...If you like stories about dysfunctional families , you will enjoy this.  

 

That's it for this week!
 

Thanks for reading!



See you Tuesday for



  "Father's Day:

Some Things To Do

And Think About"

 


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Check your local library for DVDs and books mentioned.


Next time you are wondering whether or not to watch a particular film, check out my reviews on IMDB (The International Movie Database). 

Go to IMDB.com, find the movie you are interested in.  Once there, click on the link that says "Explore More" on the right side of the screen.  Scroll down to External Reviews and when you get to that page, you will find Rosy the Reviewer alphabetically on the list.
NOTE:  On some entries, this has changed.  If you don't see "Explore More" on the right side of the screen, scroll down just below the description of the film in the middle of the page. Click where it says "Critics." Look for "Rosy the Reviewer" on the list.
Or if you are using a mobile device, look for "Critics Reviews." Click on that and you will find me alphabetically under "Rosy the Reviewer."



 



 
 
 
 

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

A Woman of a Certain Age Going to the Gym: What I've Learned

First of all, that the words "going to the gym" are even in my vocabulary is something of a miracle. 

Baby Boomers, remember middle school and high school gym classes when there were actually some standards?  President Kennedy wanted us to be fit so he instituted a fitness program for the schools to follow.

 



Every year we would be put through our paces to see if we could accomplish a certain number of sit-ups, do sprints, climb a rope and other athletic miseries. I was OK with sit-ups and sprints but trying to climb that damn rope?  Forget it.  And at my school, we actually had swim classes.  Did I learn to swim?  No.  I didn't like putting my head under water.  And I grew up on Lake Michigan, for gods sake. 

So I have never been what someone would call athletic.  When I was young, my idea of a work-out was walking two blocks down to the drug store for an ice cream cone and a comic book.

You can see my issues started early.  I didn't stand a chance.



I'm the fat one.


No, the fact that I am now a gym rat is amazing, considering I am still overweight, and I still can't climb that damn rope, but hope springs eternal, right?  I haul my big butt to the gym at least three times a week and supplement that with my 10,000 steps a day as my Fitbit demands, and if back in my thirties I thought I would be talking about a Fitbit, I would have told you to "shoot me now."  I wrote about my Fitbit obsession, if you care to join me in my misery, ("Fitbit on my Shoulder").


However, going to the gym can present challenges for a woman of a certain age. But despite that, here I am.

I have a gym membership, and I faithfully go there despite the fact that it doesn't seem to do much good, but it's part of my retirement routine now and I find it rather enjoyable - not the sweat part, but rather what I have observed and learned from gathering with my fellow humans who are also trying to stop the ravages of time and habits.



So here, as a woman of a certain age, are some challenges, what I have observed, and what I have learned:




1. People will wear clothing to the gym that they would never dream of wearing out in public.

It is not unusual to see women and men in spandex tights that show every curve, crease and crack or wearing sweat pants that proclaim over the butt something like "Cheeky!" or "Bite Me!"  And no matter what the person's size, the gym clothes are usually bright colored or have some whimsical pattern like ice cream cones or super heroes all over them.

 
 
 
Or, er, animal print.

What I've learned:  Who cares what you wear?  If wearing a fun outfit inspires you to get yourself to the gym, then do it (Just don't hit the mall afterwards).
 




2. When it comes to working out, youth trumps old age no matter what.

I have noticed that extremely overweight women who are young and way more overweight than I am can lap me on the track - more than once.  So I have come to the realization that those of us of a certain age, even if we are not extremely overweight and are in good health, just can't keep up with our younger counterparts. 

Last year, when my daughter and I were traveling in the Southwest together, we would walk long distances and she would always walk ahead of me.  I asked her why and she said she didn't want to "stroll."  Stroll?  I thought I was power walking!

What I've learned: Don't compare yourself to anyone else.  Just keep walking!





3.  You can be all alone at the gym with just one other person and that person will be on the machine you need.

You are practically alone at the gym - only one other person.  You are doing a sort of circuit where you are using upper body machines to tone those flabby arms.  You are doing three sets of 15 and you are ready to do your last 15 on the last machine before you can go home and have a glass of wine.  Remember it's just you and one other person -- AND THAT OTHER PERSON IS USING THE ONE MACHINE YOU NEED!!!

What I've learned:  You know "Murphy's Law?"  Well, here is "Rosy's Law."  There will always be that one other person using the machine you need.  Get used to it. Just skip that last set and go home to that glass of wine.





4.  The locker room is full of people walking around naked who in my humble opinion shouldn't do that.

I don't know what it is about being naked, but there seems to be a plethora of people who like to parade around without their clothes, and most of the time, they are people who should keep their clothes on.  I remember the movie "Woodstock," where all kinds of young people were seen shedding their clothes and almost all of the time they were overweight and not particularly attractive. I know most of them were high on drugs, but they should still know better. 

Now I am not in any way fat shaming here. In fact, I am quite in awe of the confidence people exhibit when they take their clothes off in front of other people, despite their less than perfect physiques.  But in general, I don't like to see it.  Hell, I don't really like to see it, even if someone has a great body. And of course, nowhere is it more in evidence than in a gym locker room. I know you are probably thinking, that's what a locker room is for.  People need to change their clothes. You are right.  But it is possible to be discreet, isn't it?  You don't need to stand at the sink giving me full frontal while brushing your teeth, do you?

If you have been reading my blog posts, you know I am a fan of the TV show "Naked and Afraid." And talk about "Naked and Afraid." When I go in the locker room at my gym, I am afraid of the naked.  It's like a horror film where the people in the audience yell at the screen, "Don't go in there!"

What I've learned: Don't go in there.

Here's how I deal. I put on my gym clothes at home and I take my little bag with my book, my book holder, my ear buds, my phone and my keys and keep it with me while I work out and then I go home and shower and change my clothes at home.  The only naked person I have to deal with is me. And you can thank me that you don't have to see me naked in the locker room.  You are welcome.



And if I really need to use the toilet while I am at the gym, I scoot quickly in, eyes averted, and scoot quickly out.




5.  Bring to the gym whatever you need to make your workout work for you.

Speaking of that little bag that I take to the gym, I am just amazed when I see people at the gym on the treadmill or the elliptical machine and they are not listening to music or reading a book or watching the little TV.  They must be much more Zen than I am because there is no way I could endure an hour on the elliptical without music and a book.  I feel the same way when I fly.  I can't tell you how many times I have sat next to someone who for the entire two hour trip stared at the seatback in front of them.  No computer, no headphones, no book, no magazine, nothing. How is that possible? I guess I need constant stimulation. 

Now I know that I probably don't get the highest level of workout while reading Burt Reynolds' memoir and listening to Joni Mitchell, but it's what I have to do to keep myself on that damn machine.



What I've learned:  You do what you have to do.  A workout while reading and listening to music is better than no workout at all.





6.  There is a reason why muscle-bound guys at the gym are called meatheads.

I don't want to do any fat shaming, and I don't want to do any meathead shaming, either, and I am not saying that all muscle-bound guys are meatheads, but I will say that there is nothing more irritating than minding my own business, listening to my ITunes, reading my book and suddenly hearing the CLANK!!! ---- CLANK!!!! ---- CLANK!!! ---- of weights on the weight machine being left to find their own way back to where they came from as in, let's just drop them. How rude!  Also, it is more times than I care to remember seeing a bulked-up guy sitting on the machine I want to use and he is on his cell phone -- FOR A LONG TIME!! JUST SITTING THERE! 

And I am standing there.

What I have learned:  There is a reason these guys are called Meatheads and it has nothing to do with muscles.  Well, it kind of does.  I know a brain is an organ, but it's also a kind of muscle, right?  It can grow and become stronger, just like muscles.  Some of these guys, their bodies are muscular but their brains are not.



7.  Farting should not be allowed.

Hey, Meatheads, er, people, there is someone right next to you.  Keep your gasses to yourself.  This isn't an airplane!

What I've learned: Public places can be smelly.




8.  Taking an exercise class at the gym sounded like a good idea at the time.

When I first retired, I had this long list of things I was going to try.  Zumba was one of them.  I thought it would be a good way to get exercise and meet other women.  My gym offered a class so I showed up.  I even bought the special Zumba shoes. 



When I arrived at the class, everyone seemed to know each other and the instructor and not one person acknowledged me.  I was as invisible as an old lady at a...well, as an old lady.  Girls, and I call them that because they couldn't have even been 18, waltzed in late and started flashing their midriffs across the floor. And here I was clunking across the floor in my new Zumba shoes, trying to get the hang of the routine that everyone had already been doing for weeks. It was like trying to learn French in time for my vacation in France which is a couple of weeks away. I stayed with it for a few weeks but never learned the routines, no one ever talked to me and my shoes hurt.

I also tried a yoga class and I thought the instructor was trying to kill me.

What I learned:  I can't dance, gym classes are not particularly welcoming and I learned I am not a joiner.  I am retired and so are the shoes.





9.  No matter how much or how hard I work out, I will never lose weight if I don't also watch what I eat and drink.

At the gym I go to, part of the deal was some free sessions with a trainer.  She set up a diet plan and a workout and then was supposed to check in with me every month.  My trainer said that weight loss comes from the kitchen, not the gym, so even though I go to the gym regularly, I will not lose weight if I don't cut out wine and salted caramel ice cream.

What I've learned:  Good luck with that.

Needless to say, I lost a few pounds the first month, but then "extenuating circumstances" ensued.  You know how that is.  The last time I saw my trainer, when she weighed me and checked my fat percentage and all of that stuff, and I hadn't made much progress since the last time we met, instead of setting the next time to meet, she mumbled something about having a schedule change and she would get back to me.  She hasn't.  I think she has given up on me. It's pretty bad when your trainer doesn't want to train you anymore.



So my peeps, that's what it's like to go to the gym for some of us older folks. 

Like getting old, it's an adventure and sometimes a not particularly fun adventure.  But despite the occasional irritations and setbacks, I am going to keep going. I am going to put on my animal print spandex, grab my book and my music and get myself to the gym. If it gives me a few extra years to continue the adventure that is my life, then it's all worth it.

Unlike my trainer, I am not giving up on me.

See you at the gym!



 

Thanks for Reading!
 
See you Friday


for my review of

 

"Me Before You"

 

and

 The Week in Reviews
(What to See or Read and What to Avoid)

 
and the latest on

"My 1001 Movies I Must See Before
 
 I Die Project."




 




 
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