A Retired Librarian's Perfect Day

As you know from reading my blog, I recently retired from my career as a librarian.  There are many misconceptions about what librarians do, e.g. we don't read on the job and we don't usually shush people.

 

For most of my career, I managed a public library so right there, the stereotype ends, because when you manage anything, whether it's a library or a corporation, your job becomes about managing people, buildings, problem solving and all of those skills that it takes to manage. And that is usually in tandem with daily tasks that need to be done or customer service duties.  A manager can't walk in the door in the morning without being bombarded with the day's issues.  And for library managers it is not different.

 

When I was working, I also wrote a blog and the following is a take on some wishful thinking.

 

A Librarian's Perfect Day

 

6am

I wake up and the sun is streaming into my bedroom.  There is not a cloud in the sky and it is already 75 degrees outside. I weigh myself and I have lost 10 pounds since yesterday.  Excellent!

I get dressed, eat breakfast and skip happily out to my car with my nonfat, sugar free caramel latte (with no whip), excited to head for work.

7am

I arrive at the library early to teach a computer class. The class is full and everyone has just the level of skills needed to get the most out of the class. No one says, "I've never touched a computer before and I have no idea how to even type."  We are teaching a new Computer Basics class that includes how to post resumes to websites, how to send email attachments, cut and paste, etc., all of the skills we get asked about during the course of our work day.   At the end of class, one student says, “I’ve learned more today in 15 minutes than a full-day’s class that I took somewhere else.”  Sweet!

8am

When I am finished with my computer class, everyone scheduled has arrived, ready for work.  No one calls in sick; no one has to leave early.  Everyone is eager and happy to work.  In fact, several staff members take the time to come to my office to tell me how much they appreciate me.

10am

We open the doors and 50 people are waiting to come in, all smiling.  Even the guy who does his back exercises in the restroom is coherent today.

I am at the reference desk when a staff member tells me I am needed in the lobby.  A customer wants to tell me something about the restroom.  That’s OK, because I am even wearing my toilet-plunging shoes today.  But no worries.  The customer wants to tell me how beautiful the library is, how clean the restrooms are and how much she loves the display we have in our lobby display case. 

11am

I look around the library, and I see a mother sitting in our rocking chair with her toddler on her lap.  She is reading “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” to her little girl and they both are laughing. 

There are several other small children in the children’s area.  Their parents are all with them and none of the children are crying or running up and down the aisles screaming.

A gentleman approaches and says he has a question he knows I won’t be able to answer, but he thought he would try anyway.  When I pull up the answer in a matter of seconds, he smiles, shakes my hand, and walks away saying, “This library is the best thing since sliced bread. I am going to tell all of my friends.”

12:30pm

After lunch, I go out for a walk through our new Farmer’s Market which is in front of the library every Thursday.  Everyone I encounter knows my name and everyone uses the library and thinks it's great. 

1pm

I return to the reference desk and answer several more questions during the afternoon, amazing all who ask.

4:30pm

As the day draws to a close, I look up from the desk and there is Tom Cruise.  He asks me where the pencil sharpener is.  I show him and he tells me about the movie he wants to make at my library.  He had heard about the library and all of the interesting programs we had, such as our citizenship classes, our Russian and Spanish Family story times, and our Family Night at the Library, and he wants to do a movie about the library as a community gathering place. 

He asks if I would like to go to dinner with him to discuss the possibilities.

I say yes.  He had me at “Where’s the pencil sharpener?”

This would have been a librarian’s perfect day.

 

I never said it ever happened this way.

 

 

So that is what a perfect day in my old life would have been like.

 

Now that I am retired,

here is a retired librarian's perfect day.

 

8am

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

9am

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

10am

I arise (if I feel like it). There is not a cloud in the sky and it is already 75 degrees outside. I weigh myself and I have lost 10 pounds since yesterday.  Excellent!

10:30am
Meditate.  My purpose in life becomes clear.

 

11am
Read the newspaper and some magazines.  I am struck by one particular article that says scientists and dieticians had been wrong all of this time:  wine and chocolate do not have calories and in fact have a palliative effect.  It also went on to say that exercising at the gym did no good so you might as well forget about it.


Noon
I call the gym to cancel my membership.  I take little Tarquin for a walk instead.

 

 

1pm

I collect the mail and there is a letter from Social Security saying they are giving me another $1000 per month just because they heard what a wonderful person I was.


2pm
I get a call from Publisher's Clearinghouse.  I have won the big prize even though I never bought any magazines or sent in the entry form.


3pm
The house cleans itself.



4pm
Guilt free wine and chocolate Happy Hour with Hubby!

 

 

 

5pm

Hubby says, "Let me take you out to dinner at one of the finest restaurants in Seattle - and no expenses spared!"

"What is the occasion?" I ask.

"No special occasion," he replies, "Except that you are wonderful and I am the luckiest man in the world."

 

 

 Canlis

7pm

Both of our adult children call and tell us they miss us so much they plan to fit us into their busy schedules and call us every day to share their lives with us and to ask our advice.  The grandchildren both tell us how much they love us.

 

8pm
Watch a little television with Hubby and he doesn't fall asleep once.

 
9pm

The Lifetime Channel is having a marathon of some of my favorites (see my blog post "Lifetime Movies:  A Baby Boomer's Appreciation for the best of the best and the worst of the worst).

And Tori says she only had a nose job?

 

 

11pm

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.  Hi, Tom.

 

When you are retired, it's the little things.

 

 

What would your perfect day be like?

 

 

See you Friday

 

For

 

"Dressing Well on a Fixed Budget"

and

The Week in Reviews

 

 

 

Thanks for reading!

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The Good, the Bad and the Ugly of Getting Old: A Retired Baby Boomer Reflects on Aging

We all get old.

Even us forever young Baby Boomers.

As I reflect on aging (and that's what old people do, we reflect), I am inspired by this Clint Eastwood "spaghetti western."

Is there anything good about getting old?

What's bad about it?

Worse, what's ugly about it?

 

Even Clint got old, though he is not a Baby Boomer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But he is still a great filmmaker as his new movie "Jersey Boys" will attest (see my review in my post "Kevin Costner Sports Movies and The Week in Reviews"), so that's good.

 

But now he's cranky...and that's bad.

 

 

And did you see that mess at the Republican Convention?

That was ugly.

I am not commenting on his politics. I am embarrassed for his showing his age by being so unaware of how bumbling he appears.


There really are some good things about aging and definitely some bad and ugly things about it.


Let's discuss.


The Good

I asked Hubby what was good about getting old.  He said perspective. 

Perspective means we now have the power to see how our lives fit in.

Then I asked him if he would give up perspective for a 32" waist again.  He didn't answer.

If you were to ask me that question, my first answer would be "nothing." 

But then once I start thinking about it, I can come up with some things.

Senior discounts. 
If I can remember to go to the movies on Tuesday, it's only $6.00.  Likewise, if I rode the bus, my senior discount would also kick in, but, please lord, don't make me ride the bus.

Social Security.
I get paid for doing nothing though I worked my ass off for 50+ years to get an amount of money that no one could live on.  Thank goodness I had the foresight (well, actually it was dumb luck) to work in public service so I also have a pension that also pays me for doing nothing.

Retirement.
If you have the means to do so, being able to retire from an 8-5 job to doing what you enjoy is a good thing.  Now my new job is watching movies and talking to you!

Wisdom.
You know some stuff.

Adventures.
You have an endless array of stories and adventures to bore, I mean, share with your friends.

Worries.
You don't have to worry anymore about how your life is going to turn out.  You already know.

And you ladies will enjoy this one.
No more visits from Aunt Flo!





The Bad

Retirement.
It's a bad thing if you don't have the means to do so or are forced to retire when you don't want to.  Some people are married to their jobs, define themselves by their jobs and won't know what to do with themselves when given freedom.  That's too bad.

Wrinkles.
There are those who think of wrinkles as something they have earned and they wear them proudly.  I am not one of those people.

Weight Gain.
For some of us, it is inevitable, especially if we are in the "saving our face" camp instead of the "saving our butts" camp.  (See my post "How Not to Look Old" for more enlightenment on that topic)

Aches and Pains.
Ouch.

Forgetfulness.
What?

You are Invisible.
I started noticing this when I hit the dark side of 40.  Wolf whistles (not that I approve) and compliments were replaced with...nothing.  I no longer existed.

Being called Ma'am.
On those few occasions when I wasn't invisible, being called Ma'am was just as bad. This may seem like a small thing, but we Baby Boomers don't like that sort of thing.


The Ugly

Bette Davis got it right when she said, "Aging isn't for sissies."

Bette knew what she was talking about.  She didn't age well.

 

Yes, there is the physical ugly we have to deal with as we age.

But there is ugly and then there is UGLY.

Yes, Bette didn't age well, but to her credit, she didn't try to stave it off with tons of plastic surgery like so many big-lipped actresses have done who now have 23-year-old faces with 65 year old necks.

But apart from the physical ugly, there is the emotional ugly of getting old.

The really ugly thing is what happened to her relationship with her daughter.

She had to live with the fact that she had an ungrateful daughter who wrote a "Mommy Dearest" book about her. 

That's pretty ugly.

I read the book and from what I can gather, Bette wasn't a bad mother who inflicted the kind of mistreatment on her daughter that Joan Crawford did on her daughter.  She in fact was a doting mother who supported both her daughter and her husband financially. It comes off as a daughter who married a guy who was a born again Christian and didn't approve of her mother while at the same time taking her money. Her daughter then denounced her mother for just about everything and made money off of her by writing a cruel book.

But then Bette let her daughter marry this 20+ guy when her daughter was only 16, so go figure. 

That's another ugly thing about getting old.  We have to live with our mistakes.  

 

It's interesting that she and Joan Crawford were contemporaries who aged at the same time  and even starred in horror films in their later years.  Remember "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?"

 

 

 

Both of their daughters felt the need to castigate them in public.  Joan might have been a "Mommy Dearest," but I didn't get that from the book about Bette.  What I got was an ungrateful daughter whose husband didn't approve of her mother.

 

What did Shakespeare say in King Lear about an ungrateful child?

 

"How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is
To have a thankless child!"

 

That's pretty ugly.

 

In old age, family troubles are ugly.

 

Another thing that can be an ugly part of getting old is regret.

 

I don't trust people who say they have no regrets about how they have lived their lives.  That seems to be the height of arrogance.

 

Yes, it does no good to dwell on the past, but it certainly helps to have regrets, so that you don't repeat the bad stuff you did in your past or miss the opportunities you passed over the first time.

 

I have three main regrets and they probably are not what you would think. 

 

I mean, I could regret getting married young and missing my chance to live in Europe during my junior year of college.  Gee, now that I think of that, I do really regret that.

 

I could regret following that marriage with a few more, but then if those hadn't happened, I wouldn't have met Hubby or had my children.

 

No, these are my three main regrets.

 

I regret not flying to Sweden when my son had an eye injury.

 

I regret not going to help our daughter through an emotional emergency and sending Hubby instead.

 

(In those days, I had an irrational fear of not just flying, but of doing things alone).

 

But my biggest regret, and it should have been the easiest thing to do, was not getting in bed with my mother the night before we had to admit her to a nursing home after she suffered a stroke that brought on dementia.

 

My sister and I were at her house making arrangements, and I couldn't sleep.  I was sleeping in the basement and then went upstairs to try to sleep on the couch, then back to the basement.  It went like that all night, me wandering around, upset by my mother's condition, and wanting to slip into bed next to her and tell her I loved her.

 

But I couldn't do it.

 

I'm not sure why.

 

Maybe I was reacting to the fact that our family wasn't particularly cuddly.

 

Maybe I was afraid she wouldn't realize who I was and I would scare her.

 

Maybe I was afraid she would reject me.

 

The bottom line was - I was afraid and I missed that last, quiet opportunity to say my goodbyes to my mother because she was never the same after that.

 

As I've gotten older, the fears have dissipated but the regrets remain.

 

Regrets are an ugly part of getting old, but a natural part.

 

So there you have it.

 

Getting old has some perks.  Getting old is crap.  Getting old can be ugly.

 

But despite the wrinkles, the fat, the mistakes, the regrets, getting old also means you are still here. 

 

Because what is the alternative to NOT getting old?

 

Right.

 

What do you think is good, bad or ugly about getting old?

 

Discuss!

 

 

See you Friday

For

"Celebrate What's Fabulous

and The Week in Reviews"

 

 

 

Thanks for reading!

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to click on the share buttons to share it on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and LinkedIn, 
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Check your local library for DVDs and books mentioned.

Note:  Next time you are wondering whether or not to watch a particular film, check out my reviews on IMDB (The International Movie Database).

If I reviewed a movie, you can now find my reviews there too.

Find the page for the movie, click on "Explore More" on the right side panel and then scroll down to "External Reviews."  Click on that and you will find me alphabetically under "Rosy the Reviewer."

Retirement: One Year Later - A Retired Baby Boomer Reflects on What She's Learned So Far

As of today, it's been exactly one year since I closed my office door for the last time.

And it has been a roller coaster ride. 

I revisited some of my earliest blog posts to remind myself of what I was feeling then and get a sense of how far I have come since I retired.


"The Long Goodbye"

 

 

In this, my first posting for this blog, I had just given my notice at work and was wondering what retirement was going to be like.  I talked about taking a Zumba class, joining a book club, meditating, volunteering and just enjoying the freedom to do what I wanted.  I also worried about how I would find meaning and purpose without a day-to-day job to give me that.


"The Long Goodbye Pt. 2"

Wearing my fascinator from my English-themed retirement party.

With only four days to go until retirement, I wondered what I would do with all of my clothes, would I stop wearing make-up, gain a bunch of weight, stop traveling and once again I worried about how I would find purpose and meaning in retirement.



"Retirement: Day 1"

OK, the deed was done.  I woke up and didn't have to go to work.  I didn't have to do anything really.

And I didn't.



"Retirement: the First Week in Review and What I've Learned So Far"


Here is what I came up with one week after retirement:

During this first week, I have learned the following things:
1.  How long it takes a woman to finally give up on herself and let it all hang out
(not long)
2.  What I was glad I missed while working
(all the bad stuff)
3.  Meditation is not easy
(I think I had managed maybe two minutes at that point)
4.  The common plot thread that governs Lifetime movies
(You can tell what I was spending my time doing)
5.  I am very boring
(this worried me)




"Retirement: Do Dogs Ever Retire?"


I humorously pondered whether dogs ever retire and if so, do they grapple with the same issues as we humans when they retire - loss of identity, loss of structure, loss of purpose, depression, boredom, possible lack of personal interaction and knowing the difference between leisure and goofing off.

This is leisure.


 

 

 

This is goofing off.



Going back and reading those early posts, I see that there was a lot of angst; a lot of insecurity; and a lot of doubts and worries about money, purpose and meaning. 

And some of those worries were well founded.  I mean, c'mon, only a couple of months after I retired we had to replace our roof! 

But I have to say, I am starting to get this whole retirement thing...AND I LIKE IT!

We had a little family thing where I would say to the kids when we were out and about in traffic on a week day in the middle of the day, "Who are these people out in their cars?  Don't they have jobs?"  Well, now I am one of THOSE people.  I like being able to go to a movie in the middle of the day in the middle of the week.  I like watching "The View" in the morning and lingering over a cup of tea.  I like going to the mall when no one is there. I like Happy Hour with Hubby at 4pm when everyone else is still working.

Something I heard over and over when I first retired was, "I bet you are busier now than you have ever been."  At that time, I wanted to say, "Uh, no.  In fact, I don't have anything particular to do."  But you know what?  I even get that now. 

I really am busier than I used to be when I worked.  And do you want to know why?

It's because now that I am retired, I have the luxury of saying "yes," rather than saying, "no."

When you are a working mother, as I was all of my life - the longest I was ever off work was two months and that was for the birth of each of my children - and you love your husband and family, you go to work and you go home.  Yes, you have commitments, but they are usually related to your children's activities.  I didn't belong to a bowling league, I didn't join any clubs and rarely had girl's nights out.  I wanted to be with my family so I probably said "no" a lot.

Now that it's just Hubby and me and no work obligations, I can say "Yes!"  And because I am saying "yes," I am really busy.  Or as busy as I want to be.

Also, I write in this blog about movies, DVDs, fashion, books, music, and food, which means I need to go to movies, watch DVDs, read books, eat at restaurants, go to concerts and shop!
That's a job right there!
 
So with all of that said, what did I learn about making a successful transition into retirement?

• I learned that it's fine to make plans, but they don't need to be written in stone. 

For example, a year ago I had all of these plans about what I would do.

Did I take Zumba?  Yes, but I discovered getting to a class at 10am was just too stressful. I know, but remember, I already told you I wasn't a morning person. I also learned I am a lousy dancer.

Did I join a book club?  Yes, but discovered it was too far away from home, and I didn't like an evening group (I am looking into a morning group closer to home), but basically I have learned that I am not really a joiner.

Did I meditate?  Yes.  I am still doing it and learning to be alone with myself.

Did I volunteer?  Yes. 
I am volunteering for the first time in my life.  I am on the County Council on Aging and the Advisory Board at my local public library.  I am also on a wait list to be a Senior Peer Counselor to help depressed and lonely seniors.

The Council on Aging is important to me because my mother could not "age in place."  She ended up in a horrible nursing home, indigent and alone.  Here where I live now, there are all kinds of services in place to help people age with dignity and stay in their homes.  I am proud to be a part of that.

Likewise, if you read my blog, you know how passionate I am about public libraries.  Hell, I worked in them for 40 years.  So I am happy to still be involved as an advocate on the library board of my local library.

As for the Senior Peer Counselor to help depressed and lonely seniors?  It takes one to know one, I guess.


So make plans, but ultimately, retirement is more about exploring.  I now have the time to explore new ideas, new activities and most of all myself.
I have the time to try things out and if I don't like them, I don't have to do them.  I can move on to something else.

• I learned that it's OK to worry about what might happen when you retire,  but most of those things I worried about didn't happen.

What to do with all of my clothes? 
I have discovered consignment shops!

Would I stop wearing make-up and gain a bunch of weight? 
I do still care how I look. I wear makeup when I am going out, but I do pretty much look like hell when I'm hanging around the house.  Sorry, Hubby. But I looked like hell when I hung around the house before I retired.  And the weight thing, no gain, but the usual battle I had before.  Nothing has changed there.

Would we have to curtail our travels? 
Not really.  We had a lovely road trip to the Okanagan wine country in British Columbia for our 30th wedding anniversary.  And I was able to attend my little grandson's 3rd birthday party in California, something I probably would not have been able to do if I was still working.

He's the little one in yellow with the happiest smile I have ever seen.

Would we have enough money?  Thanks to my pension, it seems to be enough.  Of course Hubby is still working, so when and if he retires, that will certainly change things.  But I have discovered that we don't need as much money as we once did.  We still go out to eat, we go to concerts and the theatre, but we don't seem to spend as much in other areas.  Now it's not so much about acquiring things as getting rid of them.

• And what about those potholes that are supposed to trip us up when we retire? - loss of identity, loss of structure, loss of purpose, depression, boredom, possible lack of personal interaction and knowing the difference between leisure and goofing off?
  

• Loss of identity? I am still blogging which has enabled me to express myself and that strengthens my sense of identity.  After all, I am Rosy the Reviewer!

• Loss of structure?  I am a structure sort of person so create my own structure no matter what my situation.  I have certain things I do every day and certain things I do on certain days.  For example, I get up when I feel like it, read some magazines if I feel like it, watch "The View" if I feel like it, go to the gym if I feel like it and Wednesday is my day off.  That's all the structure I need.

• Boredom? Depression?  Can happen, but that can happen when you are working too. 

• Personal interaction?  With my volunteer work, I am meeting more people than before and probably have more personal interaction that I actually want!

• Knowing the difference between leisure and goofing off? 

       Haven't figured that one out yet.



Have I found purpose and meaning?

I have learned that finding purpose and meaning is not a retirement issue.  It's something we are all working on every day for our entire lives. It's our ultimate job.

As I said in that early blog post about dogs retiring:

"We may be retired from our jobs, but we are not retired from life. Our most fulfilling purpose in life is giving and receiving love and bringing joy to those around us. "

And that means loving yourself and making yourself happy too.

I still believe that and that's my day-to-day job now.

I will be working on that for the rest of my life.

 

Thanks for reading!

 

See you Friday for

 "The Sturm und Drung of Writing a Blog:
Tapping into the Creative Process
 and The Week in Reviews"

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to click on the share buttons to share it on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and LinkedIn, 
email it to your friends and
LIKE me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/rosythereviewer.

 

Note:  Next time you are wondering whether or not to watch a particular film, check out my reviews on IMDB (The International Movie Database).

If I reviewed a movie, you can now find my reviews there too.

Find the page for the movie, click on "Explore More" on the right side panel and then scroll down to "External Reviews."  Click on that and you will find me alphabetically under "Rosy the Reviewer."