Retirement Brain

Have you ever been sitting in the living room at 4pm with a glass of wine watching "Ellen," and you look down and realize you are still wearing your nightgown and you haven't brushed your teeth yet today?

Have you been walking around smelling something you didn't like and realized it was you, because you have been to the gym the last couple of days but never showered?

If so, you are probably retired and "Retirement Brain" has taken over.

Do you remember that old ad about drugs, where a guy cracks an egg and as the egg boils and crackles, he says "This is your brain on drugs?"

Well, that's your brain on drugs

and this is your brain on retirement.

Kind of like that.

How do you know you have "Retirement Brain?"

• You rarely know what day it is or the date. 
• You walk into a room and immediately forget why you are there. 
• You recognize the face but the name just won't come - until about three hours later in the middle of the night. 
• Some days your hair looks so bad you can't even call it a "rat's nest," because the rat doesn't even want to hang out in there. 
• You can't imagine being anywhere before 11am or going to bed before midnight. 
• It's Tuesday and you don't realize you have been wearing the same shirt for three days until you notice a piece of pepperoni from the pizza you had for dinner on Saturday night stuck to the front.
• Sometimes you forget to put on underwear.
• You keep looking for your favorite work out clothes and discover they have been in the dryer for a week.
• You really enjoy the four-hour "Sister Wives" marathon while eating a pint of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream.  You almost start on the Mint Chocolate Cookie until you realize you will need it for the "Naked and Afraid" marathon.
• You find yourself proudly wearing unusual outfits.

(That big fat part around the bottom of that coat is faux fur. The other fat parts are me! I look like I am wearing an upside-down English Beefeater's Bearskin hat) !

• You get great joy dressing up your dogs (but come to think of it, I have always done that)!

(This is my version of Miss Havisham from Dickens' "Great Expectations.")

• You find yourself trying to explain the finer points of Vicki's and Tamra's argument about Brooks' cancer treatment to Hubby during Happy Hour (some of you will get this one and some of you won't - consider yourself lucky if you are in the latter group)

• Your idea of a perfect day is doing nothing.

If you have nodded your head "yes" to at least five of these (or some variation of these), you are in the throes of "Retirement Brain."

 

Just what IS "Retirement Brain?"

 "Retirement Brain" is a slow-onset condition that usually kicks in about six months into retirement.  This is because the first six months of retirement you are in shock and keep getting up in the morning expecting to go to work.  You wander around the house looking for people to help and keep recommending books to your husband (I was a librarian).

But when you finally realize those days are over, "Retirement Brain" kicks in.

But my fellow retirees and those who love you, don't despair. Even though you are acting unlike yourself and your brain feels like a huge vacant airplane hangar, there is a reason for "Retirement Brain."

"Retirement Brain" kicks in to relieve your brain of all of that junk you had to put up with for the last 40 years - people complaining, people whining, problems, questions, tasks you weren't really feeling, bosses who bossed, employees who slacked, people who annoyed, worries you had about dealing with all of that. Yes, you were a competent, efficient, interesting, productive person all of those years.  So why are you suddenly staring off into space or watching YouTube videos of kittens and wondering what the hell is going on?

Don't worry.  "Retirement Brain" has a plan.  The plan is to clear all of that old stuff out, all of that stuff you didn't want to do, all of those worries you didn't want to have, so that now you can fill that vast void with what YOU want to fill it with.

It could be all sorts of things: saving the world, moving to Europe, giving a damn, getting a new job (well maybe not that), shopping excursions, meaningful volunteering, trips with your kids and grandkids, finding true meaning in your life.

  

The point is that "Retirement Brain," though it seems to disconnect you from the "real world," is actually connecting you to YOUR real world, the real world of what you really, really want to put your mind to NOW. The Real You.  It could be getting caught up with all of those TV dramas you missed over the years.  It could be finding the perfect restaurant. It could be reading the classics. It could be losing 50 pounds or it could be eating whatever the hell you want.  And it could just be finding yourself for the first time and really, really enjoying life.

That's the point. "Retirement Brain" is now allowing you to be your true self...before it's too late.

You might have spent your working years doing something you enjoyed.  Good for you.  Most of us can find something positive and rewarding in what we did or we wouldn't have done it.  But that's not the point.  Most of us, whether we enjoyed it or not, HAD to do what we did.

But now "Retirement Brain" is telling you that you don't have to do anything you don't want to do anymore.  So if you don't want to remember what day it is or you forget to brush your teeth, so what?  Your old brain has left the building and "Retirement Brain" has taken over and "Retirement Brain" says, let it all hang out!

That might be uncomfortable for some.

Don't despair.  "Retirement Brain" knows what it's doing.

If you have been working since you were 15, then it will probably take you about 15 months to actually enjoy retirement.  "Retirement Brain" is there to allow you some relief from feeling guilty about not making money anymore or having a real job or forgetting to shower.  Soon, "Retirement Brain" will clear out the cobwebs and will start a new mind set that will give you joy (See "The Joy of Retirement") and a new, meaningful outlook on life.

You have another 20 years (at least) to live your true life.  Do not fear "Retirement Brain."

"Retirement Brain" wants you to be happy.

And "New-You Brain" is on its way!

Thanks for Reading!

See you Friday

for my review of the new movie 

"Beasts of No Nation" 

and

The Week in Reviews

(What to See or Read and What to Avoid)

and the latest on

My 1001 Movies I Must See Before

 I Die Project."

  

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to click on the share buttons to share it on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and LinkedIn, email it to your friends and LIKE me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/rosythereviewer

Retirement Fashion: Fabulous from A-Z

Retirement fashion.  An oxymoron? 

I recently wrote about another possible oxymoron, "Librarian Fashion," and smashed that stereotype. 

I am going to do it again with the stereotype of the retired old lady. You know the one: an overweight wrinkled crone with unkempt gray hair, shuffling around in her bathrobe and yelling at the kids across the street for making too much noise.

 

I will cop to the overweight part, and I might yell at the kids occasionally, but otherwise, no way am I letting it all go.  I may be retired but I'm not out.

So in keeping with my ever continuing desire to provide a public service via this blog, I am here to give some fashion tips and inspiration for those of us of a certain age and less than perfect size.

I got the idea for this post from an article I came across in a recent "Beauty & Style" edition of "People Magazine" called "Gorgeous from A to Z: Style.  Beauty. Health.  A Universally Appealing Wish List (Fall 2014)."

Well, universally appealing if you are between 18 and 35.  But it had some fun tips such as "L" is for "Little Black Dress" and "D" is for "Diamond earrings."  At my age, not so sure about the "little" part of "Little Black Dress" and on a fixed income, those diamond earrings will probably not manifest themselves. 

So I have subtitled my list "A Must-Have Fashion List for Curvy Women of a Certain Age Who Will Not Go Quietly."

Just because we are retired, it doesn't mean we stop wearing makeup, stay in our pajamas all day and watch "Dr. Phil."  Well, I might do that once in awhile (the no makeup and pajamas part) when I am home alone and planning on some binge watching of "Downton Abbey," but in general, I try to maintain myself as I did when I was out there in the world every day.  As a woman, I think I owe it to my fellow sisters of a certain age to hold up my end of things and not fall into the stereotype.  Just as I refused to fall into the librarian stereotype, I refuse to fall into the old lady stereotype.

So here is my list on how to be fabulous at any age from A-Z.

First of all,

A is for Attitude.

Yes, we are up there in age, but that doesn't mean we are invisible or ready to head toward the light.  We are still uppity and full of life and we show it by maintaining our sense of humor about life and about ourselves and by being interested in everything.  We travel, we exercise, we read, we skydive (some of us do that. I don't), we dance, we go to movies, we LIVE!  And it shows in how we express ourselves.

B is for Blouson top.

Now that's a term you don't hear much anymore, but I remember my mother using it all of the time, telling me it hides a multitude of sins.  And as usual, mother was right (one of these days my own kids will say that).  If you've been sinning a bit with the chocolates and you've got a little somethin' somethin' around the middle, this kind of top is for you.



C is for Classic Jacket

A nice black tuxedo jacket goes with everything.  Throw it on over jeans or a cool pencil skirt and you are instantly ready to go anywhere.  But it doesn't have to be black.  And roll those sleeves up for a little sass!

 

D is for Drapey Top.

I made that term up, but see "B" above.  Does the same thing.




E is for Earrings.

Just remember, your ears don't get fat.  Your earrings will always fit.  And earrings are a great way to express yourself so go BIG!




F is for Forever 21

(I got the jacket there)

When you are retired, you often don't have as much money as you once did to splurge on the latest trends.  So dip your toe in at Forever 21, where the clothes may fall apart after a couple of wearings but who cares?  They are inexpensive and fun.  They even have plus sizes.  And if you are embarrassed to shop there or the salesgirl looks at you funny, tell her you are shopping for your granddaughter.  Or better yet, ask her, "You lookin' at me?"




G is for Gray Hair

Don't even think about it.





H is for Headband

A cute way to have something on your head for the winter months and when you don't want to have to fix your hair or get hat hair from a hat.




I is for Innovation

Don't be afraid to experiment or reinvent yourself.  Now that you are not reporting to work every day, you are not limited by a dress code and can have some fun.  Not every look might work, but it's your life.  Live it.

 

J is for Jeans

If you are like me, finding the right jeans is as difficult as finding the right bathing suit and shopping for both of them can be a nightmare as in "is that really me in that mirror or one of those dancing elephants in "Fantasia" kind of nightmare.  But once you have the right pair, life is good.  There are some good ones out there that plump up the tush and pull in everything else.  Oprah raved about the Miraclebody Jeans a couple of years back and they were pretty good.  But just find the ones that make YOU feel you look great.  If YOU feel you look great, than you DO!




K is for Knee-High Boots 

Boots add a polished look and work especially well if your legs are less than perfect.


L is for Leopard Print

 

Leopard is the new black.  Trust me. You can wear it with everything!



M is for Make-up

Now I am not one of those women who won't let her husband see her without makeup so she jumps out of bed first thing and paints her face.  We all know I never jump out of bed.  When I am at home, I look like hell, but if I am going out, you won't catch me without mascara and lipstick at the very least.  Well, maybe at the gym or running to the grocery store, I let it slip a bit, but my point is, just because we are old, doesn't mean we have to accept the wrinkles and the flab and the little hairs on our chinny chin chins.  We should do what we can to still look good.



N is for No Bra

I just put this in to make sure you were paying attention.  But if you can get away with it, why not?



O is for Over the Knee Boots

The thing with over-the-knee boots is getting the damn things on and off.  So I say, if you can get them on and off, wear them!  I can and I do!




P is for Peplum

See "B" and "D" above.



Q is for Queen

You are one so demand the royal treatment. Any woman who has made it this far deserves some respect.  Don't take any crap from anyone!




R is for Really, Really Cool Jeans

As I said earlier, finding the right pair of jeans is essential. But I say go one step further.  Get some jeans that are fun, that have some sparkle, some bling or embellishment that shows your rock star side, your attitude!




S is for Sunglasses

Instant attitude!



T is for Tulle

No matter what her age, a girl can never have enough tulle. How else can she get her Stevie Nicks on?




U is for Unlimited Shoes

Like earrings, when you have packed on a few pounds and squeezing into your jeans feels like your are stuffing a sausage, your shoes will never let you down.  They will always fit.  And a lady can never have enough shoes!




V is for V-Neck

 

A nice V-neck is slimming to your face and calls attention to that alluring part of you, your collarbone and décolletage. It elongates your whole silhouette.



W is for Workout

Yes, we need to exercise (sigh), and it's a lot easier to go to the gym if we have a cute outfit that looks the part to wear.


X is for XL

This is what happens if you DON'T go to the gym.  But if it does, thanks to this size in our favorite store, we don't have to shop at Lane Bryant.


Y is for Yoga Pants

At this point, anything with elastic is a godsend.  Maybe you might even do some yoga.


Z is for Zebra Print

Zebra print just might overtake leopard as the new black!


Well, I hope I have provided some inspiration to some of my fellow fashionistas of a certain age.

The bottom line is this: 

NEVER GIVE UP ON YOURSELF!

Want to share YOUR Fashion Tips?

Thanks for Reading! 

 

See you Friday 

for my review of the new movie

 

"The Boy Next Door,"

 

The Week in Reviews,

 as well as my progress on

"My 1001 Movies I Must See Before I Die Project."

 

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to click on the share buttons to share it on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and LinkedIn, email it to your friends and LIKE me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/rosythereviewer

5 Things I Know For Sure

In November, I reviewed Oprah's book, "What I Know For Sure," where she recounts, well, stuff she is sure of.  Because, hey, she is Oprah.

And there is a lot of it.  She weighs in on "Joy," "Resilience," "Connection," "Gratitude," "Possibility," "Awe," "Clarity" and "Power."

Here are some of Oprah's things she knows for sure:

"It's up to each of us to get very still and say, 'This is who I am.' No one else defines your life.  Only you do."

"Failure is just a way for our lives to show us we're moving in the wrong direction, that we should try something different."

"If you make a choice that doesn't please your mate, friends, or whoever, the world will not fall apart."

"This is the body you've been given -- love what you've got."

"The same questions follow every woman through girlhood and adolescence: Can I really do this?  Will I get it right?  Am I okay?"



And, like I said, she has a lot more of these -- 228 pages worth to be exact.

I, on the other hand, not being Oprah, only have five things I know for sure, but it's a start -- and here they are.

 

1. Meditation can remove the "bitch factor" from your life.

Meditation has many benefits (and I wrote about them in a post called "A Little Meditation on a Little Meditation by an Unlikely Meditator"), but the one that is most powerful is the capacity meditation has to shut down any tendency you might have to be a bitch (and that goes for you guys out there too). 

When you are still with yourself, you connect to the source of love within you, your soul, that silent witness within that is always there sending you messages of love, joy and inspiration.  When you listen you feel the love that is your true nature.  Buddha said, "You can search the entire universe and will not find another person more worthy of love than you."  When you realize that, when you love yourself first, you become conscious of your existence and the existence of others and can love them too. You realize that at the soul level we are all inextricably connected. And that's called compassion. And it's really difficult to be a bitch when you have all of that compassion and love shining through.  But I know, it takes practice. 

I know that for sure.

 

2. Libraries change lives.

I know I talk about libraries all of the time, but I think that's what it takes for people to understand the true power of libraries.  I also think it takes just one meaningful encounter for you to understand it. 

Here is an example:

When I was a librarian in a public library, I was teaching a very basic computer class on how to set up a personal Yahoo email account.  The class consisted of about six people who had few computer or typing skills, a few seniors and a couple of people where English was not their first language.  One of the latter was a lady from Korea.  After the class, I gave them all a bit of homework:  sometime during the week send me an email so I can see that you can do that. A few days later, I received an email from the lady from Korea.  In it she thanked me for the class and said that she had just sent an email to her son in Korea who she hadn't seen or spoken to in over a year. So that one encounter, that one class, brought together two people separated by space and time.  Not to mention the lump in my throat.

That is just one such life changing encounter I can relate.

Libraries are not just about books, though books are certainly worthwhile and life changing on their own.  Libraries protect our right to information, provide training and classes to better ourselves, teach our children skills to make them successful in school and provide a place for the community to gather.

If you have a need, have you gone to your local library or checked out your local library's webpage lately?  I think you will be amazed at what you will find.
Trust me. 

And I am going to keep talking about libraries until you do! 

I know that for sure.


 

3. Television is not evil.

It is no secret that I like to watch television.  My flirtation with it goes way back and I have poked fun about myself and TV in other posts.  And I have no problem with people who don't watch.  What I DO have a problem with is people giving television more power than it really has and ranting about how it is destroying civilization.  I can think of a lot more things that have destroyed civilization than an episode of  "Modern Family."  (Now if you are talking about Fox News, you might have a point, but that's a whole different post). 

I had a husband once who wouldn't have a TV in the house because he believed if he had one, he would somehow be forced to watch it.  Not sure how that works (the evil little TV fairy attacks him and makes his finger press the "on" button?), but needless to say the marriage didn't last.

Likewise, there is what I call the "snooty factor." When I am enthusiastically talking about the latest episode of "So You Think You Can Dance," and someone says to me something snooty like, "I don't watch TV, which in a conversational setting is a conversation stopper if ever there was on, I think I will not let that stop the conversation and say, "No need to apologize" as in "Bless your heart, you poor thing (I can be snooty too)." Because it's one thing to not watch, which is fine.  What am I, the TV police? But it's another thing to feel you need to say that to someone who obviously does and somehow imply you are better than. 

And there is a certain hypocrisy attached to that.  OK, you don't watch TV but are you playing video games and reading comic books instead?

Another idea is to recommend meditation to this person because clearly the "Bitch factor" is an issue (see above).

If we are talking about evil, let's talk about war, racism, mass murder, child abuse, those things are evil.  Television isn't even close.

I know that for sure.


 

4. Retirement isn't for sissies.

For those of you who have been following this blog since the beginning, you know that I shared my retirement fears and woes since I started this blog.  It's been a year and a half since I retired and like Bette Davis said about aging, "Old age ain't no place for sissies," retirement ain't no place for them either.

No matter how much you have looked forward to not having to get up early and go to work at a job you might not like for a boss you hate, the adjustment to not having that job anymore is HUGE.  What do you say when someone asks you, "What do you do?"  Then you realize just how much you have defined yourself by your job. 

I never liked getting up early, but I had a job I liked and never hated my bosses, which made it even more difficult to say sayonara.  Suddenly you have all of that time you always wished you had.  What are you going to do with it? Where you once derived meaning by merely going to work, now you must find it somewhere else. You need to start redefining yourself, your life, your dreams, what's left of the your future... You are staring your mortality in the face.  What are you going to do with the rest of your life?

So just as starting out in life is a scary adventure, so too is the endgame.  Sissies need not apply.

I know that for sure.


 

5. Skinny jeans don't make you look skinny.

I thought since this blog is not just about retirement, books and libraries, it's also about movies, fashion and fun, that I should add something about fashion, so here it is.

"Skinny jeans don't make you look skinny."

But who cares?  I'm going to wear them anyway!

 

I know that for sure.

What do YOU know for sure?

Thanks for Reading!

 

See you Friday 

 

for my review of the new movie

"American Sniper,"

 

The Week in Reviews,

 

as well as my progress on

 

"My 1001 Movies I Must See Before I Die Project."

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to click on the share buttons to share it on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and LinkedIn, email it to your friends and LIKE me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/rosythereviewer





 

 

Letting Myself Go: Questionable Fashion Choices for a Woman of a Certain Age and Size

OK I know what you are thinking, but it looked really cute in "Elle Magazine." 

What I didn't realize at the time was that it was probably on a 7 foot model who weighed about 120 pounds and was probably air brushed to boot.  However, when I see something in a magazine or catalog, I tend to think that's what it will look like on me. It's a weakness I have.

So I bought that coat and wore it on a recent trip to California.  At the place where we park our car at the airport, the attendant said to me, "That's some coat."

Now, let me say that whenever someone starts a comment about you with "That's some...," that is NOT a compliment.  "I like your coat" is a compliment.  "You look nice" is a compliment.  "That's some coat" is not a compliment.

So I should have been ready when we were going through security and the TSA person said to me, "Is that your dog?" 

"What?!" I replied.

She immediately realized she had mistaken the fur on the bottom of my coat for a dog.  We both had a laugh (I was crying inside).

I should have asked her if my "dog" made my butt look fat.

So that little incident made me think about my current fashion choices.

It's no surprise to anyone who knows me or who reads this blog that I consider myself a bit of a fashionista.  OK, basically I am a clothes horse, a hoarder, a shopaholic, whatever you want to call me.  It's been like that practically all of my life, probably since my Dad told me he thought it was perfectly reasonable for me to have a different outfit for every day of the week. That said, it wasn't difficult for me to make the stretch to have enough outfits that I would never need to wear the same thing ever again.

And I have never been afraid to embrace the latest styles, colors and fads.

At 13, I wore this cape to a football game.

I wasn't afraid to sport green shoes (they had pink trim to match the ensemble)

Big earrings were always my thing.

I embraced the famous "Sassoon" haircut when it was first popular.

I even went shorter when I was feeling "punk" and wanted to channel Annie Lennox (Hey, it was the 80's!)

I experimented with vintage dresses, armbands and headbands

Bell bottoms

 

And hats.

When you are young and slim, you can get away with a lot in fashion.

When you are a woman of a certain age and let's say, no longer thin, not so much.

For example, these shoes are hard to explain.

When you have to suck it in this much, probably not a good fit.

And when someone asks you if you are trying out for a part in "Wicked," probably not a good fashion choice.

And here I look like I am about to break into a song from "Snow White."

Does this hat make my head look fat?

 

And please, Lord, tell me I was wearing this to a costume party or a rodeo.

 

(I wasn't).

 

 

So you can see I have been dragged into old age kicking and screaming.  Some habits die hard.

 

One thing many of us women worry about as we age is "letting ourselves go." (You men should worry about it, too, but that's a whole different blog post.)

 

That usually means getting fat, lazy, not wearing make-up, going gray...I think it's even worse for the Baby Boom Generation because we didn't think we would ever get old.  They should have called us "The Peter Pan Generation."

 

But that's not a bad thing.  We may be in our 50's and 60's, but we aren't doing "old age" like our parents.  We may be retired, but our retirement is not our parents' retirement.

 

Ellen Goodman, in her last column upon her retirement after 46 years of writing, wrote about "Letting ourselves go," but she was not talking about getting old and fat.  She wanted to "reclaim" the phrase to mean something quite different.

 

She said, "Now, we find ourselves on the cutting edge of another huge social change. This time, it's the longevity revolution. Ours is the first generation to collectively cross the demarcation line of senior citizenship with actuarial tables on our side...We don't have a label yet to describe the early, active aging. But many of us are pausing to recalculate the purpose of a longer life. We are reinventing ourselves and society's expectations, just as we have throughout our lives."

 

So "letting ourselves go" can be a good thing because we are letting ourselves GO FOR IT.  Just as in our youth we were the generation of great social change, so will we be as we age.

 

I have enjoyed experimenting with fashion all of my life, and I am not stopping now.  Yes, I could lose a few pounds, yes, I will probably make more fashion mistakes, but I don't care. 

 

Because, whether it's fashion or life choices, I am going to continue to let myself go for it. 

 

 

 

Too much?

 

 

Thanks for Reading!

 

See you Friday

 

for my review of the new movie

 

"Birdman"

 

My Week in Reviews

 

and an update 

on my

 "1001 Movies I Must See Before I Die Project."

 

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to click on the share buttons to share it on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and LinkedIn, email it to your friends and LIKE me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/rosythereviewer