What Do Librarians Really Do? The Reality Show

Over the course of my 40 years as a librarian, mostly in public libraries, I can't tell you how many times people would ask me, "What do librarians DO exactly?"

My daughter is a newly minted librarian and just recently, someone asked her that same question. 

I also got "I bet you read a lot of books," "You don't look like a librarian," and "Shhhhhh."

Each to which I would reply, "I wish," "What are librarians supposed to look like?" and "Sigh."

The reality of what librarians do is what others do who manage people, projects and buildings, who work with the public and solve problems.

Librarians no longer sport buns with pencils stuck in them, double tread floor gripper shoes and sweater clips, nor do they shush people, because public libraries, these days, are lively places. 

Well some do, but in general, librarians look like anyone else in a professional job - they are young, old and in between.  They are fashionable, usually well-read, hip and knowledgeable about everything from pop culture to the classics.  And they are not reading on the job, especially those dirty books supposedly kept behind the counter.

I have been retired for almost a year, but I still dream I am at work.

It's like watching a reality show.
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo....

 

 

8:30am

I arrive at work looking smashing in my little suit, jaunty hat, snappy red purse, hoop earrings, makeup and designer shoes (that's what a librarian looks like).


I know what you are thinking here.  I look young.  I told you this was a dream.

 

I am immediately apprised by another staff member that the toilet in the ladies' room is stopped up. I grab the plunger and head for the restroom hoping my Manolo Blahnicks won't get wet (just dreaming again about the Manolos - the reality is librarians don't make enough to afford designer shoes, but, hey, we aren't in this for the money).

8:40am 
Toilet fixed - just needed to be flushed. C'mon, people.   

Head to my office to check email. Check today's schedule to make sure we are covered. Looks good. 
Uh oh.
A staff member calls in sick. Call subs - no one available. 

Redo schedule.

9:30am 
Finish email. 

Start working on some new computer classes I am going to teach - "Job Hunting on the Internet" and "Internet Resources for Changing Careers."  It's the times. Also sending out press releases for next week's programs.

Receive a call from the local newspaper about our basic computer classes.

"You mean there are people who don't know how to use a computer?" she asks. I tell her about the hundreds of students we have helped so far, many of them seniors and people whose native language is not English. So the answer is, yes, there are many people who don't know how to use a computer or, believe it or not, don't own one. 

I meet with a staff member to do some brainstorming on how to deal with the kids who have pizza delivered to the library to eat while they are doing their homework. (We allow food, but having pizza delivered is a bit much and people complain about the smell).

10:00am. 
Open the library. 

First question of the day. 

The customer wants a photograph of Mary Magdalene.  He is doing a painting and wants to be sure to get the colors of her clothes right.  I have to gently explain there weren't any cameras back in her day, but I could probably find him an artist's rendering.  He isn't convinced.

10:10am 
Help a customer set up a free email account so he can apply for a job.

10:20am 
Help that same customer send his resume to an employer.

10:25am
Help that same customer get back onto the computer because he turned it off by mistake.

10:27am 
Help that same customer get back on the computer because he turned it off by mistake again.

10:30am
 Answer the phone and find phone numbers for local low income housing.

10:40am 
Young girl wants to know how to take care of her pet snail.  She has it with her.

 

I don't want to ask. I find some information on what snails eat. (decaying plants work).

Any books about fairies or princesses? She jumps up and down when I produce several.
(Fairies and princesses are hot topics, so I keep a list of titles in the drawer at the Information Desk because libraries don't usually have special sections devoted to Princesses and Fairies - probably should).

10:50am 
Children's librarian reminds me she has an appointment at the school. 

Redo the schedule.

11:00am 
A woman wants Prince Harry's phone number and then remarks that she just can't understand why Queen Elizabeth would build Windsor Castle so close to Heathrow Airport. (Huh?)

 

11:20am 
Had been approached by a teacher from the local community college who wanted me to come to her ESL class to do a presentation about library resources in languages other than English and our ESL and citizenship classes.  So I leave the library to make this lunchtime presentation.

2:00pm. 
Return from presentation.  Back in my office. Receive call from staff member. Family emergency. Can't make her evening shift. Look for some substitutes.

Redo the schedule.

2:35pm 
Alerted by staff that the toilet in the ladies' room is stopped up again. This time it's full of toilet seat covers and someone also has stolen all of the toilet paper. The toilet paper gets stolen repeatedly.  Is there a shortage of toilet paper out there? Leave office to investigate. Grab plunger. (Didn't learn this in library school).

2:40pm 
Back in my office. 

Staff reports that a woman is lying on her back in the restroom.  Go to investigate wondering if I am going to have to do CPR. Turns out she is doing back exercises. Told her she was alarming customers so should work on her back outside. She will probably alarm customers outside the library as well.  Her eyes were spinning.

2:45pm 
A library customer alerts me to the fact that an elderly gentleman is outside asking how to get home. We bring him in. He tells me he had walked all the way from his home (several miles) and couldn't remember how to get back. I ask him if it's OK for me to call a policeman to take him home. He agrees. An officer arrives and is very kind to the gentleman. 

Wonder if that could be me one day.

2:50pm 
Back in office. Shut door.

3:00pm 
A customer knocks on my door.  She wants to complain about the drinking fountain.  The water is not shooting up high enough.  She has complained about this before and I have reported it to maintenance.  The answer is that perhaps she is not pushing on the bar hard enough.  We go out to look at it together and I show her that it appears to be working well.  Then she says the water tastes funny.  Sigh.

3:30pm 
Make some headway on administrative tasks. 

Back out in the library. Working with the collection - pulling outdated and shabby materials so shelves will look inviting.

A customer asks me what I am doing.  When I explain that we keep track of how many times a book has gone out and remove well-read and well-worn materials, she picks up a book that is literally falling apart and smells of cat pee and says, "You are not going to get rid of this, are you?" 

Thank goodness, I am approached by several young customers looking for homework help so I excuse myself. Find needed materials and tell them about the live Homework Help on our website.

4:00pm 
Back on the Information Desk.

A woman approaches looking for a book, can't remember the title or the author, but she knows it has a green cover.  I ask her what it's about.  She can't remember.  She just knows it was really good and had a woman in it. (Reference librarians are good but these kinds of questions are tough - and common!)

4:10pm 
A woman comes to the desk and says she needs the name of a song she can't get out of her head.  Can she hum it for me?  I don't have a good feeling about this one.

A regular (he comes in every day) corners me to complain about what another customer is looking at on the computer.  He does this every day and since we have privacy screens on the computers, it takes effort to see what others are looking at.  I want to say "It's a free country so if you are worried about what other people are looking at, don't look," but I don't.  I just nod, acknowledge him and explain that we don't monitor what adults are looking at unless we discover they are doing something illegal.  He leaves.  See you tomorrow.

4:15pm
Another regular customer comes up to me.  She always asks who was kicked off of "Dancing with the Stars" last night and then wants to talk about it (fortunately, being the Reality TV Queen that I am, I know this one off the top of my head).  Lonely people come to the library.  Social work is part of the job.

4:30pm 
A group of teens enter the library, laughing and talking and head for the Teen Room.  I want to say "Shhhhh," but I can't promote that stereotype.  Instead,  I smile at the cat ears and pink net tutu one of the teens is wearing with her Doc Martens.  Hope they don't order pizza.

Work on some questions that require some research and get ready to pass the torch to the evening staff.
 
5:00pm

Is it 5:00 already? 

Forgot to have lunch... Evening shift staff arrives. Everything seems to be running smoothly. Getting ready to head home...

Staff member reports that the toilet... Sigh...

And then I wake up and remember I am retired. 

There are some things I miss about my old reality and some things I don't.

My new reality includes an appointment with the TV for some real reality shows.

Have any library "dreams" to share?

 

See you Friday for

 

"A Day in the Life of a TV Addict: 

The Reality Show Continues..."

 

Thanks for reading!
If you enjoyed this post, feel free to share it and/or email it to your friends.

 

Lifetime Movies: A Baby Boomer's Appreciation and The Week in Reviews

[Where I review "Nebraska" and DVDs "Blue Jasmine," "Fruitvale Station," 20 Feet From Stardom" and "In a World" along with the "Book of the Week" and the Judy Collins concert.]

But first

Lifetime Movies: A Baby Boomer's Appreciation

Over the years, I have been known to dabble in the occasional Lifetime Movie.

OK, dabble isn't quite the right word.  They are actually one of my guilty pleasures (and I have many).

I know what you are thinking.  You have probably written them off as fluff at best and a waste of time at worst, but I am here to disabuse you of that notion.

There is nothing to be guilty about!

Yes, many of the movies are ground out in what I have come to see as a Canadian repertory machine, but there are some real gems amongst them. 

If you like campy, there is campy.  If you like women in jeopardy, you got it.  If you like, "kidnap my daughter, and I will hunt you down," check. "Save me from my addiction?"  Yep.  And there are some good true-life biopics, too.

Here are the reasons why I like them:

1. They feature strong women triumphing over adversity. 

I don't like movies that don't have women in them.
 
Films with strong women characters are under represented in general. Sweden, a most forward thinking country, has just instituted a rating system (The Bechdel test) that tests and rates films as to gender bias, and for a good rating the film must have at least two named women and those women must talk about something other than men. Lifetime movies would pass that test!  The women in Lifetime movies not only do more than talk about men, they are usually kicking their butts!

2. Comforting Titles and Plot Devices.

It's always comforting to know what to expect. 

In the case of Lifetime Movies, if the title begins with the word "Perfect," as in "Perfect Teacher," "Perfect Roommate," or "Perfect Husband," you know they are going to be anything but. 

Likewise, you can bet that the movie will start out with something brutal, alarming or tantalizing and then go to a "Three Years Earlier" or "Three Years Later" plot exposition.  And then it will usually end with the bad guy caught, the ghost debunked or the evil doer dead, and our heroine will drive off unharmed thinking she is rid of the problem... and then the last frame will show something that makes us think...OR IS SHE?
All very comforting stuff.

3. They employ Canadian actors.

I love Canadians, so happy that Canadian actors are getting work.

Almost all of the Lifetime movies these days are filmed in Vancouver or Toronto, Canada, and its environs.  They also seem to use the same actors, so it is sort of a repertory company.  I have come to recognize many of them.  It's fun to see an actor star in one film and then play a supporting role in another.  I watch so many Lifetime movies, they are almost like old friends.

4. It's fun to spot the Canadian locations.

The librarian in me really enjoys busting them for trying to substitute Vancouver, BC for San Francisco or Seattle or Toronto for New York City. They sometimes fluff their continuity issues. 

I mean...really one time when they were supposed to be in San Francisco, I noticed an on-ramp sign pointing to Whistler (B.C)!  When the film was supposed to be set in Salem, Oregon, I was able to see a road sign with an unusual French name, so just for the fun of it, I looked up the name and it was in Kowloon, B.C.  I know, it's nerdy, but it's fun.  And it doesn't take any research to know they are in Canada when a character walks into the local Visions Youth CENTRE. 

Vancouver has become the de facto location for Seattle and San Francisco locations, because I believe it's cheaper and there are incentives to film there.  And as I said, many of the movies are filmed in Canada with Canadian actors and then sold to Lifetime.

5. There is usually a nice healthy moral or lesson to be learned.

The bad guy gets his, the addiction is overcome or we learn Mother was right!

6.  And they can be downright (and sometimes unintentionally) fun!

So let me serve as your personal guide to the best (and, sometimes, most hilarious)
Lifetime Movies.

Here then is a list of some of my favorites from someone who has had a "lifetime" of experience watching this genre:

(NOTE: Titles often vary for different markets).



Killer Reality (2013)

This one is brilliant. 

Imagine "The Bachelor," but the girls get their champagne glass filled instead of a rose, and they also get killed off one by one. It is unintentionally hilarious (I think it's unintentional, anyway) with lines like "You signed a full disclosure giving us carte blanche to subject you to whatever emotional distress we want" and while in Mexico, one of the Mexican cameramen says about the reality show, "You Americans really watch this stuff?  It makes our Mexican novelas look like Shakespeare."

Moral: There are consequences for going on "The Bachelor."





Sexting in Suburbia (AKA Shattered Silence) (2012)

A teen commits suicide after her sexting pics are made public (This one is actually quite good).

Moral:  Keep your nude pics to yourself.





Haunting of Sorority Row (2007)

A former (dead) sorority sister haunts the sorority to take revenge. 

I wonder if Leighton Meester is regretting this one.

Moral:  Maybe pledging a sorority isn't such a good idea.





Road Rage (1999)

The title tells it all.

Moral: You know that sign on the back of some trucks that says, "How's my driving?" and gives you a number to call if the driver isn't doing a good job of driving?  Don't.




Terror in the Family (1996)

A teenage Hilary Swank terrorizes her family - the usual teen stuff.  Every dysfunctional family cliché is here.

Moral:  This is what happens when you try to be your child's friend.




Crimes of Silence: She Woke Up Pregnant  (1996)

The title tells it all.

Moral:  Yet another reason to fear your dentist!




A Woman Scorned: The Betty Broderick Story (1992)

Biopic of Betty Broderick who murdered her husband and his mistress.  Meredith Baxter was a fixture on Lifetime movies for awhile.

Moral:  Don't marry a psycho.

All time greatest titles ever!
(some of these are not yet available on DVD but look for them)!

My Stepson, My Lover (1997)

You can figure this one out.  Huge ick factor.

Deadly Spa (2013)

A mother and daughter go to a spa only to discover they can't leave! 
So much for mother/daughter trips. Geez, I just wanted a facial!

Killer Hair (2009)

Murder in a hair salon. 
Who knew hair could kill?

Honeymoon with Mom (2006)

What happens when you get left at the altar? - - Mom!

I Me Wed (2007)

Tired of being asked when she is going to get married, our heroine decides to marry herself (I can't even make this stuff up)!

Forever 16 (2013

Why forever 16? 
Because she's a vampire, silly.
A teenage vampire has to keep changing schools to keep her true identity hidden.  The scenes of her drinking blood in the girls' restroom between classes is classic!

Coed Call Girl (1996)

Tori Spelling stars as the Coed. 
She looks as much like a coed as I do.
Title is self explanatory. 

Here is a bit of a tease, literally.  Priceless.






And, drum roll please, my all-time favorite Lifetime movie title ever:


Mother May I Sleep With Danger?

Laurel (Tori Spelling again) has an abusive boyfriend and her mother must save her.

If my daughter had asked me that I would have said, "Who?  What? Absolutely not! No, no and no and don't ask me again! And by the way, why are you talking like that?  Sleep with 'danger?'  Who's "Danger?"

So I hope I have shed some light on the Lifetime movie phenomenon and perhaps taken some of the shame away from indulging.  Let us not judge lest we be judged!  Now I have to get back to Lifetime's latest "Lizzie Borden Took an Axe."

(Lifetime movies are now coming out on DVD, available via Amazon Instant Video, on the Lifetime website or sometimes available in full on YouTube).

Share your favorite Lifetime Movie moment --

If you dare!

***In Theatres Now***

Nebraska

Affecting tale of a son taking his elderly Dad on a road trip to Lincoln, Nebraska to collect his imagined winnings from a Publisher's Clearing House-like contest.

Here is another dysfunctional family similar to the family in "August: Osage County," which I reviewed in my Academy Awards blog a few weeks ago, but this is a much sweeter tale. 

In the hands of director Alexander Payne ("The Descendants," "Sideways"), it captures the redemptive power of a son's love.  Children often take their parents at face value and do not know about the experiences that formed them. We may turn into curmudgeons but there is usually a reason why.

The black and white photography captures the bleakness of some Midwestern small towns that have been abandoned by the young and the bleakness of aging.  The film is nominated for a Best Picture Oscar as are Bruce Dern and June Squib, an 80+ actress who is finally getting the recognition she deserves, who play the aging husband and wife.  Nominated for Best Original Screenplay is our own local screenwriter, Bob Nelson, who was one of the original cast members of Seattle's late night TV show, "Almost Live," Seattle's version of Saturday Night Live which played from 1984-1999.

Rosy the Reviewer says...Beautiful little film that might be depressing to those of us who see a nursing home in our future.  Go on a road trip with your kids first!

***DVDS***

You Might Have Missed

And Some You Should Be Glad You Did

(I see the bad ones so you don't have to)

Blue Jasmine (2013)

A story reminiscent of the Bernie Madoff scandal, a once wealthy and snobby woman must seek help with her blue collar sister. 

Cate Blanchett gives a stunning and funny performance as a woman grappling with loss and mental illness.

Rosy  the Reviewer says...No matter what you think of Woody Allen's personal life, you can't fault his brilliance as a writer and director.
Cate gives a great performance, but I am still rooting for Meryl ("August: Osage County") to win Best Actress.

Fruitvale Station (2013)

A day in the life of Oscar Grant, the day before he was gunned down in an infamous true incident on a BART station platform in Oakland, CA, New Year's Day, 2009.

Michael B. Jordan gives a stunning performance made all of the more poignant as we know he is living out Grant's last day on earth.

Rosy the Reviewer says...Absolutely gut-wrenching, but a must-see.




20 Feet from Stardom (2013)

Documentary about our most famous back-up singers and the road they traveled, featuring Darlene Love and Merry Clayton.

Ever wonder who those singers are doing the "oooh" and "la la la" parts behind your favorite bands?  Well, here they are telling us what it's like to be super talented, but forever upstaged by singers luckier than they were.  Darlene Love fronted The Blossoms who toured with the Beatles when I saw them in 1964.  She was exploited by Phil Spector.  Merry Clayton is the voice singing with Mick Jagger on "Gimme Shelter" and many, many other songs. Well deserved nomination in the Best Documentary category for an Academy Award.

Rosy the Reviewer says...if you love music, you will love this. 





In a World (2013)

A glimpse into the male dominated world of movie trailer voice overs.

Can our heroine break into this male dominated world?  Lake Bell wrote, directed and stars.

Rosy the Reviewer says...a fun glimpse into a world most of us know little about.  Lake Bell is someone to watch!

***In Concert***

Judy Collins

We had the pleasure of seeing Judy Collins perform at the Edmonds Center for the Arts. 

I have been a lifelong fan, and it was wonderful seeing her in this small venue.  She came out all in white - white gown, white hair and sang like an angel.  She paid tribute to Pete Seeger, who was a huge influence on her (we all sang "Where Have All the Flowers Gone?) and who recently died (she was at his bedside).

During the course of the evening, Judy shared career and family anecdotes (she grew up in a musical family with a blind father).  She was warm and carried herself with the ease of someone who has mastered her craft.

Only disappointment was that she didn't sing "Who Knows Where the Time Goes" and "Send in the Clowns."

Rosy the Reviewer says...A beautiful, shining evening.  Upcoming concerts will be in Arizona and Wisconsin.  See her if you can.  You won't be disappointed.

***Book of the Week***

Manson: The Life and Times of Charles Manson by Jeff Guinn (2013)

Detailed biography of an evil master mind.

I read biographies and true crime, because I am interested in how people get to where they get.  In Manson's case, his unhealthy home life doesn't really explain him. His need to be somebody and lack of empathy for others screams sociopath or worse and led him into an early life of crime culminating in the horrific Manson Murders.  

This picture that appeared in the newspaper upon his capture scared the crap out of the entire country.

I moved to California in 1970 and was already scared of the Zodiac killer and earthquakes so then this. It was a crazy time.

Guinn sets Manson's story in the context of the times.  An unsettling subject,  but wonderfully written.

Rosy the Reviewer says...absolutely riveting look into, not only the mind of a killer, but into the times in which he was able to perpetrate his evil.

That's it for this week. 
See you Tuesday.

Thanks for reading!

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Check your local library for DVDs and book mentioned.