Will Your Husband Cheat?

According to a recent article in the AARP Magazine, probably not, especially if he's been married for awhile.

But not for the reasons you might think. 

Not because he is necessarily so devoted or his moral code won't allow it.  It is more simple that that.

Men are lazy.

As author Joe Queenan describes it: "Men like to plop down on the couch and watch sports and drink beer.  Romance, by contrast, is labor-intensive; you have to shower, shave, slap on some deodorant, put on something other than sweatpants, buy flowers, go to the movies, read a book every once in a while, think of compliments, engage in conversation.  Cheating on your wife involves travel, dinner reservations, booking hotel rooms.  Once a man has been married a few decades, the energy he would need to expend on an extramarital affair could be a life-threatening shock to his nervous system."

He goes on to discuss how cheap married men are and that they don't want to have to deal with the consequences of getting caught.

But my favorite reason is that men have seen Fatal Attraction (bunny boiling, anyone?).

He concludes with "But in the final analysis, I suspect that some men don't cheat for the same reason that they don't water-ski:  They're not really good at it, there's no learning curve for this sort of thing, and the results could be disastrous."

He ends by saying...

"By the way, women already know all this."


Duh.

What do you think? 
Are older married men less likely to cheat?

***In Theatres Now***

The Counselor (2013)

A lawyer (Michael Fassbender) gets himself involved in a huge drug deal and wishes he hadn't.

Cormac McCarthy writes the screenplay (his first) which probably explains some of the long-winded philosophical rants some of the characters get into about the consequences of one's decisions.  I mean, even the drug dealers are philosophers here. I was scared the entire time I watched this thing from Cameron Diaz' gold tooth to what happens to Brad Pitt. It was ominous from the first shot of septic tank trucks doing what they do. Ridley Scott directs and I am usually a fan but this film is rather a nasty piece of work. I can't tell you how many times I had my hands over my eyes. 
Moral:  Don't get involved with drug dealers.

Rosy the Reviewer says...if you liked "Seven," you might like this. 
It's definitely not for the faint of heart.

***DVDS***

Movies You Might Have Missed
(And some you will be glad you did)

Inescapable (2012)

A man who has left Damascus under suspicious circumstances must return to find his missing daughter.  

Rosy the Reviewer says...If you liked "Taken," you might like this but this one is much more "intellectual."  Actor Siddig is the one to watch.  His eyes tell it all.




Now You See Me (2013)

A group of magicians come together to pull off the perfect heist. 

Great cast, a story that could have gone somewhere but it all just fell apart.

Rosy the Reviewer says...This one started off well but was a hot mess at the end.  When I found out "who done it," I went, "ick."
Not Recommended.




Cheerful Weather for a Wedding (2012)

A disparate group of people come together for a wedding in the English countryside.

Felicity Jones is always a delight and I am a big fan of the many recognizable British actors that populate so many British films.  If you can't wait for Downton Abbey to start up again in January, you might find this British film a welcome addition to your viewing fare.  It even stars Elizabeth McGovern. 

Rosy the Reviewer says...But Downton Abbey it's not.

Only God Forgives (2013)

Ryan Gosling reunites with the Danish director of Drive, Nicolas Winding Refn, in this very gritty, very violent, very gory, very kinky story about a British Thai fight club owner whose brother is murdered for killing a young prostitute. 

Gosling, who doesn't say a word for the first 30 minutes of this film and probably only says a few sentences in all, seeks revenge for his brother's death at the behest of his sadistic crime boss Mom, Kristin Scott Thomas.  

If the Danes are the happiest people on earth, they sure like gruesome movies. Lars Von Trier ("Dogville," "Melancholia") is another one. Not gruesome so much, but in love with the long, languorous shots where you go, "Huh?  What is going on?" Likewise, much as I love Britain, British gangsters are bad asses and movies about them are usually very violent and full of gore. I usually like films that take place in Asia or Africa or the Middle East, places I have never been, but this one is an acquired taste. All I can say is this was one weird ass movie, pardon my French.  Not sure what Ryan was thinking on this one.  Not many lines to learn?

Rosy the Reviewer says... This must be my week for gory movies (see The Counselor above). Lots of sword wielding and torture, of which I am not fond. Even if you are a big Ryan Gosling fan, beware.

See "Drive" instead.

***Books***

Trafficked by Sophie Hayes (2013)

Young British girl makes the wrong friends and ends up trafficked.

If I hadn't seen the author of this book make the talk show rounds, I would have thought this was a novel.  I don't in any way mean to minimize the danger and problem of human trafficking, but this book is one of those memoirs that is so astounding in the number of "things that can go wrong" genre, that it defies reality and you go "What?"  And it doesn't really shed any new light on the problem of trafficking.

Rosy the Reviewer says...If you are a big fan of stories of young girls being abused by their supposed boyfriends, OK, but otherwise, take a pass. 

***Theatre***

Carrie the Musical

A musical version of the movie.

I went to this prepared to laugh at a campy send-up especially when I saw the many guys in the lobby dressed up as Carrie. But instead, it was really good.  Alice Ripley, who I had seen in her Tony Award-winning turn in Next to Normal, was just amazing.  Though  the cast was very good, when she was on stage, it was especially riveting.  Her voice is so moving and unusual.  Unlike the movie, little blood and gore.  It's practically family fare.

Rosy the Reviewer says...I can't vouch for what it would be like without Alice Ripley, but if it comes to your town, give it a shot.

***Concerts***

Rufus Wainwright

Gorgeous voice, sings poetry with a melancholic charisma. 

Didn't know much about him when I bought the tickets.  Knew about his dad Loudon Wainwright.  Rufus is a kind of a cross between Billy Joel and Elton John.

The song "Martha" was a highlight.  You can listen to it here.





Rosy the Reviewer says...Musical poetry.  If he appears near you, go.  He's a delight...and his sister, who opens for him, is very charming.

***TV***

Styled to Rock (Bravo)

Designers vie for the opportunity to be part of Rihanna's design team.

Rosy the Reviewer says...Lacks the production values of "Project Runway," but if you like that show and fancy yourself a rock goddess, you might find this fun.



Dancing on the Edge (STARZ)

Chiwetel Ejiofor stars as a 1930's jazz band leader in London who gets mixed up in some crazy stuff.

This is a far cry from his role in 12 Years a Slave (2013), which will probably earn him an Oscar Nomination. Johanna Vanderham, who currently is starring in "The Paradise" on PBS, is also one to watch. 

Rosy the Reviewer says...Stylish and intelligent TV fare.

That's it for this week.

See you Tuesday for 

My Dad's Three Rules of Child-Rearing -
a simple formula that will help you through adulthood and retirement!

Trust me!

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to click on the share buttons and/or share it on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and LinkedIn, 
email it to your friends and LIKE me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/rosythereviewer.

Check your local library for DVDs and books mentioned.

Note:  Next time you are wondering whether or not to watch a particular film, check out my reviews on IMDB (The International Movie Database). 

Find the page for the movie, click on "Explore More" on the right side panel and then scroll down to "External Reviews."  Look for "Rosy the Reviewer" on the list. Or if you are using a mobile device, look for "Critics Reviews." Click on that and you will find me alphabetically under "Rosy the Reviewer."

Rock & Roll Will Never Die: How To Rock Your Retirement

My first taste of rock music was the sounds emanating from my brother's room. 

I was about nine or ten and he was 14 or 15. His room was across the hall and he would play his radio and sing along to the Big Bopper's "Chantilly Lace" or "Jailhouse Rock" by Elvis. (My brother used to also tie me up in a strait jacket, but that's a whole different story)!  I also remember seeing the movie "Rock Around the Clock" starring Bill Hailey and his Comets and kids actually got up out of their seats to dance in the aisles.

I just loved rock and roll from the first time I heard it.  I was a huge Elvis fan until the Beatles came along and blew him out of the water.

As I grew up, I remember having an epiphany of sorts about rock & roll.

My parents were 40 when I was born, and despite the fact that my Dad was a musician and a huge fan of swing and Dixieland, they just didn't get rock & roll.  My sister was nine years older and she didn't get it either.  They all thought it was a phase that would pass and music not worth talking about.

But I just knew that rock and roll was here to stay and there was no going back. 

I knew it deep inside that once those beats and sounds were unleashed, there was no way they could be squashed down ever again.  And I was not alone. 

Rock and roll changed a whole generation.

It was the soundtrack of Baby Boomers' lives.

In Junior High (we didn't call it middle school then), we had "Puppy Love"

and danced  to "Put Your Head on My Shoulder" and "Louie, Louie."

In high school, we wore madras plaid shirts and pretended we were surfers like The Beach Boys until Motown got our attention followed by the Beatles, Cream, the Rolling Stones and the British Invasion, and we grew our hair long and tarted ourselves up in Edwardian gear.

In college, in the shadow of the Vietnam War, we experimented with sex and drugs with the rock and roll of the Doors, the Moody Blues, the Jefferson Airplane and Janis and Jimi.

As we left college and made our way in the world, it was to the music of Led Zeppelin, Bob Seger, the Eagles, Steve Miller, Hall & Oates, Heart and (sad sigh) Disco.

In the 1990's New Wave, Grunge, and Punk were followed by Hip Hop, Indie Rock and Emo as we moved into another century.

And here we are.

Remember Mick Jagger saying, "I'd rather be dead than singing 'Satisfaction' when I am 45?"   M-m-m-m.

"Never trust anyone over 35."   M-m-m-m

"Sixty is the new 40."  Well, this one I agree with.

Baby Boomers never thought they would grow old and we have gone kicking and screaming into maturity.

Some of us are retiring.  Some of us are not.

And you know what? 

Our rock icons are not!

In the last year Hubby and I have attended 11 concerts, all starring musicians in their 60's and 70's.

So Rock and Roll will not only never die,

it doesn't look like it will retire either.

As for me, I may have retired from my career as a librarian, but my career as a "groupie" is still intact.  I haven't stopped since I was pulled up on stage to dance with a Moody Blues cover band in college. Even now, if I can get down to the front of the stage, I'm there!

Here's the rundown of this year's concerts:

(2022 Update: All of the rockers listed below are now nine years older!)

Bob Seger.  Age 68

Sang all of the hits, especially  my favorites, "We've Got Tonight" and "Roll Me Away." He looked good, his voice was strong and he played for a full two hours.

Joe Walsh.  Age 65

Opened for Bob Seger.  His guitar skills are still superb, he is hilarious and skinny as hell and he probably would have played longer if he hadn't been opening for Bob Seger.

Steve Miller.  Age 69

I have never forgiven him for a concert in San Francisco in the early 1970's when someone yelled out, "Play Quicksilver Girl," and he sneered, "That was 1968."  I thought, what a pompous ass, but he seems to have settled down in his "old age."  We saw him in an outdoor venue at a local winery where I am known to get myself down close to the stage. 

Groupie moment:  I did and I have his guitar pick to prove it.  And I never mentioned "Quicksilver Girl."

The Joker

Robert Plant.  Age 65

Still got the chops but can't quite hit those really, really high notes.  Might have shown his age a bit as he didn't sing a very long set.

Groupie moment:  Got fairly close to the stage after stepping over angry picnickers to get close, but was stopped by a big burly security guy.

Cy Curnin of The Fixx.  Age 55 (he's a youngster)

Voice really strong, has kept in great shape. 
Must be that huge glass of red wine he kept sipping during the show! (You can see it on the stool behind him in the picture on the right)

Gladys Knight.  Age 69

What can I say about Gladys? 
Have been a huge fan ever since the Motown years and her songs bring back many memories of love gone right and love gone wrong.  That little catch in her voice is so affecting.  Watching her perform makes me feel that I am in the presence of greatness - her poise, her self assurance and her vocal skills, which are still intact, make for a great show. Saw her at our favorite outdoor venue - Chateau Ste. Michelle Winery.

Groupie moment:  I was in the front row.  When Gladys left the stage, I yelled "Gladys, you are fabulous!"  She looked back and gave me a thumbs up.

The O'Jays

(Eddie Levert Age 71; Walter Williams Age 70; Eric Grant (the new "kid") Age 56

They followed Gladys and put on a fabulous show complete with epaulets on their costumes and classic Motown footwork.

Groupie moment:  Eric handed me his sweaty towel.

I think I had a few glasses of wine by this time.

Daryl Hall, Age 66 and John Oates, Age 64.

Have seen them twice. They have their set down. They play their hits and get the hell off the stage, but they are still in great voice and look fabulous.  They are one of Hubby's obsessions, but rightly so.  

Hall & Oates influenced a whole new generation of musicians. So why the hell are they not in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame?
(Hubby made me write that part but I actually agree with him).

Pat Benatar. Age 60

Did you know she originally trained as an opera singer?  She has the chops to prove it.  She looked and sounded more like she was 40 (because as I said earlier, 60 is the new...)



Heart

Ann Wilson Age 63; Nancy Wilson Age 59

Saw them twice, once at an outdoor venue at a State Fair and this year at Seattle's premiere music event Bumbershoot, where they were one of the big acts playing the Key Arena.  They were great at the Fair, but at Bumbershoot, they outdid themselves when Jason Bonham played drums with them (he opened for them) and Mike McCready from Pearl Jam came out and they did about five Led Zeppelin tunes. 

Ann Wilson can sing Robert Plant better than Robert Plant.


Moody Blues

Justin Hayward Age 66; John Lodge Age 68; Graeme Edge Age 72

First saw them in 1971 and here they are 42 years later, a little grayer, a little heavier but, oh, those beautiful tunes.  Justin didn't really engage with the audience that much, other than to introduce the songs, but John was pointing and making eye contact.

Groupie moment:  John Lodge might have been pointing at me.  I'm sticking with that.

Remember this?

Breathe deep the gathering gloom,
Watch lights fade from every room.
Bedsitter people look back and lament,
Another day's useless energy spent.
Impassioned lovers wrestle as one,
Lonely man cries for love and has none.
New mother picks up and suckles her son,
Senior citizens wish they were young.
Cold hearted orb that rules the night,
Removes the colours from our sight.
Red is grey and yellow white.
But we decide which is right.
And which is an illusion? 

Yes, of course, they included it.

 
Ginger Baker. Age 74

He is considered one of the greatest drummers of all-time but he seems to be one of the most bitter as well. If you have seen the documentary on him, "Beware of Mr. Baker," you will understand why.  And he didn't disappoint. 

As he came on stage he told the guy introducing him to "get off the stage."  I dub him the curmudgeon of rock and roll, though he's more of a jazz guy now.  He had to be helped on stage and played two short sets, but he can still drum.

Groupie Moment:  No way.  I didn't dare.

Then

Now

Paul McCartney. Age 71

I saved the best for last. 

He was the first ever musical act to play Safeco Stadium in Seattle -- and he played for over 3 hours!!  He is 71 and never left the stage and sang every song, over 30 of them.  It was just amazing.  I wrote about my love of the Beatles in my blog "Why the Beatles Matter," where I described how it felt to see Paul 49 years after first seeing the Beatles.  He was absolutely amazing and a perfect advertisement for why "Rock & Roll Will Never Die."

So why are these men and women still doing this after all of these years?

One reason could be the money, but I would say it's more because they love what they are doing.  Sir Paul certainly does.  You couldn't get him off the stage!

And that, folks, is the secret to rocking your retirement. 

It's the old expression, "Use it or lose it."

If you are good at something, enjoy something, love something, do it! Never stop.

When I was struggling with the first months of retirement after 40 years of routine, I was given some advice by another blogger - Tamara at "Early Retirement Journey."  She recommended the book "The Joy of Not Working" by Ernie J. Zelinski. 

In it, he has the reader prepare a "Get-a-Life Tree" where you map out "Options for my Leisure," with the branches labeled "Activities that turn me on now," Activities that turned me on in the past," "New activities I have thought of doing," and "Activities that will get me physically fit."  And you must come up with at least 50 different activities.

And I discovered I am a much more interesting person than I thought. 

I came up with more than 50 things to do.

I love to cook so I am taking cooking classes.

I want to learn to play the bass guitar.

I love movies so I have added a "movie day" to my new routine instead of just watching DVDs.

And that's just the start.

And I will continue to rock right along with my rock idols.

If they can keep rocking, so can I!

Oh, by the way, did I tell you I have my own rocker right in my own family?

Hubby!

Groupie Moment:  This is how it all began!

"The Cousins!"



Then

"Fool's Gold"

And

then

"The Eldorados!"

                      

2022 Update: 

Now

The Chuck Brewer Band

(And Hubby is never going to retire.  He can't afford to!)

But we will rock it together!



I would love to hear about your
Rock & Roll Moments!

See you Friday for movie and DVD reviews

and other fun stuff!

Thanks for reading! 

If you enjoyed this post,

feel free to subscribe and/or share it with your friends.

(Ginger Baker "Now" photo courtesy of Mike Tiano)

This blog post updated 12/20/19

Parisian Chic

How to get your Parisian Chic on,

or Why do French women keep messing with our self-esteem?

First it was "French Women Don't Get Fat," and now we have "Paris Street Style:  A Guide to Effortless Chic," "Stuff Parisians Like: Discovering the Quoi in the Je Ne Sais Quoi," "Forever Chic, French Women's Secrets for Timeless Beauty, Style and Substance,"  "Parisian Chic, A Style Guide," and "Lessons from Madame Chic: 20 Stylish Secrets I Learned While Living in Paris." 

It's bad enough that we are thought to be the most obese nation on earth (which the French loathe, being obese, not America - but I could be wrong), but that our style is also crap...It's just too much, or should I say, "C'est trop?!

But if you feel you need to look like a French woman, I feel it's my mission to help you get your Parisian chic on, so I will give you the short and to the point versions of each: 

Naturally she was a French exchange student in the U.S. and, quelle horreur, she got fat and had to go back to France to get skinny again. In the end, nothing really new.  Willpower, small portions, and keep a food diary.  Been there, done that. 

Rosy the Reviewer says...The only real "miracle food" here is the wine.

Here is the breakdown of essential elements for your wardrobe, Parisian style and what not to wear as in quilted jackets and Converse sneakers after the age of 26. 

Funny, when I was in Paris, saw nothing BUT quilted jackets.  Those people couldn't have all been Americans, could they?  No surprises - yes to the LBD and yes to adding vintage items.  No to polyester.  Just not too much - moderation, moderation, moderation.  

French actress and singer Emmanuelle Seigner is quoted: “American women are pulled together perfectly from the moment they wake up in the morning: perfect hair, varnished nails, high heels ... as if they were bound for a cocktail party or some red-carpet affair. French women don’t bother their heads so much.” 

Rosy the Reviewer says...Huh?  She should see me when I wake up.  Bed hair, bitten nails, broken toe that won't fit in high heels...I guess I must be more French than I thought.

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings...

Just kidding, those aren't things Parisians like. 

They actually like baguettes, the word putain and saying Americans are stupid.  This is a sort of a send up...or is it?

Rosy the Reviewer says...je ne sais quoi is French for WTF

Finally, one for women of a certain age. 

Did you know we are considered "alluring, mysterious, and seductive?" 

In France, anyway.

Rosy the Reviewer says...One of the pieces of advice: use your Hermes scarf as a cumberbund.  My who, what?

The author is a Chanel model from the 1980's. 

I wish she talked a bit more about what a woman of her age would wear to be chic but here is her "Magnificent Seven:"

The Magnificent Seven:

1. A Man’s Blazer
2. The Trench
3. The Navy (cashmere) Sweater
4. The Tank

5. The Little Black Dress  (there's that LBD again)

6. The Perfect Jeans
7. The Leather Jacket

Rosy the Reviewer says...What?  No mention of a scarf?

French Madame (not THAT kind of madam) straightens out her American exchange student and teaches her the way of the French. 

I had a hard time getting past the chapter "Look Presentable Always," which basically says, if we run around in Uggs and droopy sweatpants, we don't respect ourselves enough to wear the feminine and beautiful things we were meant to wear at all times and heaven forbid we should set foot in Paris.

Rosy the Reviewer says...This is like a new version of "Gigi."

Moi -  Paris 2013

Rosy the Reviewer says...Bottom Line for French Fashion and Lifestyle:  Stop eating so damn much, take the stairs and wear a scarf!

Now on to

The Week in Reviews 

Enough Said (2013)

Eva, a divorced masseuse facing an empty nest meets Albert, also divorced and in a similar situation. 

Never much of a fan of Julia Louis-Dreyfus or James Gandolfini and have always thought Catherine Keener was over-rated but this film helped change my mind.  The acting and screenplay were all first-rate, though I saw where the film was going early on (I was surprised that some of the other people in the audience gasped when they realized the plot twist).  The characters were charming and affecting, though Louis-Dreyfus' character was clueless and verged a bit too close to Elaine at times, but she pulled back just enough to reel me in and I found her acting natural and easy-going.  Gandolfini showed a softer side and seeing him in this film made me sad that his life was cut off before he could mine that side of his talent.  I found the film very touching.

Rosy the Reviewer says...A smart, affecting romantic comedy for the discerning filmgoer.  However, it could use a better title.

Before Midnight (2013)

It started 18 years ago with Before Sunrise when Jesse and Celine met on a train bound for Vienna.  Their instant attraction led them to spend the night together talking, never to meet again.  But another nine years later, they do meet again in Paris in Before Sunset and their romance is rekindled.  And now they are together another nine years later with twins and we spend another day with them, a bit more contentiously than in the past. 

All three films consist of long, smart and funny conversations between Jesse and Celine, this time as they end a summer vacation in Greece.  Using long uninterrupted camera shots as they walk and talk in beautiful surroundings, Jesse and Celine explore the nature of their relationship. Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy share writing credits with Director Richard Linklater, which is apparent in the almost improvisational nature of their dialogue.  Critics likened this trilogy to Michael Apted's Up series (that has followed 14 British children every seven years since 1964).  That's a stretch, but director Linklater has been similarly faithful every nine years since 1995 and created a trilogy that captures the reality of meeting, falling in love and what it takes to stay in love.

Rosy the Reviewer says...if you like reality, here it is.  Love is not a fairy tale.  It can be messy.  Smart and beautiful film-making.




The East (2013)

An Eco group is attacking major corporations and our heroine infiltrates, only to be highly affected by the zealous group.

The last time I saw Brit Marling (who co-wrote this screenplay), she was starring in another film she had written, Another Earth (2011), a wonderful little indie film about a planet that is the mirror of earth (recommended). 

Rosy the Reviewer says...A fun diversion, but Brit Marling is the main reason to watch.



Olympus has Fallen (2013)

Another siege upon the White House. 

Butler is a badass as he tries to save the President.  I also liked that the woman Secretary of Defense was a brave badass as well.

Rosy the Reviewer says...very violent, the usual stuff,  but exciting nevertheless.  I wonder what it would have been like in 3-D.

***TV***

Last Tango in Halifax

A delightful British TV series where a couple of senior citizens reunite after years apart. 

Many of my fave British actors are here and it's just a lovely story that will appeal to all of us other senior citizens especially.  Playing on PBS but also Available on Netflix now in Season 3.

Rosy the Reviewer says...Derek Jacobi (remember him in the Cadfael series?) is just a wonderful actor.  His nuances here are a thing to behold.  Highly recommended.

  

That's it for this week. 

This weekend, you can go to the movies, rent a DVD, check out your local music scene or go through your closet and get totally depressed because you are not French!

  

See you Tuesday for my blog

"Rock & Roll Will Never Die!"

Thanks for reading! 

If you enjoyed this post,

feel free to subscribe and/or share it with your friends.