But it is kind of funny that I am even talking about meditation.
Why?
Because I am a type-A personality who has been known to scoff at any New Age self-help type stuff.
I grew up in a household in the Midwest with a Swedish mother who didn't brook any nonsense when it came to "new fangled thinking." She didn't believe in anything she couldn't see, though I find that funny looking back, because she was religious.
Growing up, I was the hyper one who always wanted to be "doing" something. I couldn't imagine sitting in a chair alone with myself. In college, I would be that kid who would burst into a room loudly announcing I was heading out for an evening of fun and who would like to join me, when it was obvious everyone there was stoned and just wanted to lie around grooving to Vanilla Fudge.
When I moved to San Francisco in the early 70's, everyone we knew from Michigan came out to visit and several of our friends were into TM (Transcendental Meditation). It was all very mysterious. They had mantras that were secret (probably because as it turned out, everyone had the same one!). I remember coming home from work one time and finding one of our friends sitting on the floor, up against the wall, legs crossed in thelotus position, eyes closed and not acknowledging my arrival. I thought that was very rude.
My first library job was in a very rural area in northern California. Twice a week I rode the bookmobile to various locations in the County and one of them was up a mountain where a Transcendental Meditation University was located. I interacted with the students, but I thought it was all rather hippy dippy.
So meditation has been hovering around me for years, but I was never really interested.
Ten years ago, we moved away from where we had lived for 30 years to a new place where we knew no one. The nest was empty, and though I found a job and had colleagues, I also suffered from bouts of loneliness.
And a year ago, as retirement was looming, I started thinking about what I was going to do with all of that free time I anticipated. And when I did retire, I found it to be very stressful. Check out some of my early blogs and you can see what I was dealing with.
I think when we are confronted with big life changes, that's when we open up to new ways of thinking. And sometimes the forces convene to lead you on a different path.
I have always been one to want to improve myself, but I wouldn't say I read a lot of self help books. However, being in the library profession I read book reviews and titles would come across my desk.
I stumbled upon the idea of "emotional intelligence" and a book called "Search Inside Yourself: The Unexpected Path to Achieving Success, Happiness (and World Peace)" by Chade Meng-Tan, who worked for Google and trained employees there on how to apply mindfulness techniques in order to succeed at work and in life. His class has become Google's most popular class and always has a long waiting list when it is offered. As the title indicates, it uses a somewhat self deprecating light hearted tone to put out an important and serious message: how to nurture your "emotional intelligence" in order to deal with stress.
One of the tools that I was particularly taken with was the mnemonic "Siberian North Railroad," which helps you remember to Stop, Breathe, Notice, Reflect and Respond when confronted with stressful situations.
And he talked about meditation. There it was again. The idea of meditating was following me around.
Then Oprah appeared.
And you know how I feel about Oprah. Right there in my email was a special invitation, just for me, from Oprah! Inviting me to join her andDeepak Chopra in a 21 Day Meditation Challenge. And it was free! How could I say no to Oprah?
So I signed up.
Every day for 21 days an email would appear in my inbox, and there would be the link for the day's meditation. Oprah would say a few words and then Deepak would come on to give me my "Centering Thought" and lead me to the day's meditation.
Some thoughts might be:
"My security and peace are within." "Today I make great choices because they are made with full awareness.' "Today and every day I give that which I want to receive."
It certainly can't hurt to be thinking thoughts like that as you go through your day, right?
My first whole session took about 20 minutes, 15 of it sitting quietly, listening to tinkly New Age music and my trying not to open my eyes or wonder when Deepak was going to ring that little bell to let me know it was over or thinking about what I was going to cook for dinner.
But then as I did it every day, I started to "get it."
Meditation is not this secret, mysterious thing. Meditation is being alone with yourself.
Yes, there can be a mantra, but you can do just as well counting your breaths or watching clouds pass by over a blue sky in your mind. Focus on whatever you want.
It doesn't have to be 20 minutes, it can be five minutes or forty minutes. Whatever you are comfortable with.
Yes, your mind will wander and thoughts will come and go. That's OK. There is no right or wrong way to do this. Just return to your mantra or counting your breaths.
"Meditation does not mean the absence of thoughts. Meditation does not mean going into a trance. Meditation does not mean forgetting who or where you are..."
"It's just that meditation allows you to have a different relationship with your thoughts...Instead of being overwhelmed or controlled by your thoughts, you get to detach yourself from them...and start choosing how you want to live in a controlled, peaceful and contented manner." (his book is a very good beginner's guide, too).
You WILL have thoughts, but as you settle into meditation, your thoughts will be "quieter" and you will be able to see those thoughts from a different perspective, and some of those thoughts might just lead you to where you need to go.
But every so often you get into those moments between thoughts and those moments are YOU. Because believe it or not, you are not your thoughts. Thoughts are just that -- thoughts. YOU are pure consciousness.
Before I get too drifty here, think of the fact that most people are going through life asleep - acting, doing, living without thinking about how they are acting, what they are doing or how they are living.
Meditation is just about being conscious of our existence, being aware and in so doing, we become more alive and more in tune with ourselves and others. It's about attitude and compassion.
When I retired, I was very worried about the social aspect of my job. Here we were, far from our children and family, and work had provided a social outlet. Once retired, how would I deal with the possibility of loneliness?
I always remember something which I think David on Real World New Orleans said (I know what you are thinking and, yes, I still watch it and let me remind you of something Buddha said, "Judgment is the road to suffering." I am just saying).
He said, something like "I am never lonely because everywhere I go, I am there." That quote has stuck with me, because I thought it was such an interesting thing to say and to think, especially since I have suffered from my share of loneliness.
And then I came across another book, "Wherever You Go There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life" by Jon Kabat-Zinn and realized where Real World David got that from.
Meditation is hanging out with yourself. Your true self. And hopefully you like yourself enough to hang out!
So as I continue on my retirement "journey" - I can't believe I just said that. Everything is a "journey" these days - But anyway, through meditation, I am getting to know myself better, and it is helping me enjoy life more, whatever form that life may take. It helps me accept what comes my way, how things are. It gives me a more positive attitude toward myself and others. It has moved my A-type personality to a "B."
I highly recommend your giving meditation a try, whatever form that might take. It will change your life.
As Deepak might say, "Sat Chit Ananda." Existence, consciousness, bliss.
I am working on that bliss part.
If you are interested in learning more, here are some other titles you might enjoy.
Stay tuned for a blog on tarot cards. I am getting into those too!
[I review the new movie "Noah," DVDs "Afternoon Delight," "Barefoot" and "Gimme Shelter," recommend a great true crime book about a crime that stunned the nation, am poetic about a musical theatre classic "Little Shop of Horrors" and review a new Seattle restaurant - Red Cow].
But first
Last week I gave you a list of must-see biopics.
To keep that first list under control, I deliberately left out those biopics that featured the stories of musicians, so to make my biopic list complete...
Here are some MUSICAL biopics
that are must-sees.
Musical biopics are all about the performances, which is why so many of the stars in these biopics won Academy Awards.
But I have included some performances by the actual subjects of these biopics. How did our actors do?
The life of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart - from an "insane" point of view.
This film won eight Academy Awards but the guy who actually played Amadeus, Tom Hulce, didn't win. Tom Hulce, who?
Why it's a must-see: Won 1984 Oscars for Best Picture, Best Director (Milos Forman), Best Actor (F. Murray Abraham), Best Adapted Screenplaly, Best Sound, Best Art Direction, Best Costumes and Best Make-up.
The life and career of this early rocker and his early, tragic death.
If you can get over what a nutter Gary Busey is these days, his performance DID win an Academy Award. Who knew a head injury from a motorcycle accident could change someone into a person who speaks in acronyms and slogans!
Why it's a must-see:Sissy Spacek did all of her own singing in this and won an Academy Award for Best Actress. This is one of the "granddaddy's" of musical biopics.
This is on as many worst lists as it is best lists, but for all of its histrionics and over the top stuff, it's engrossing. Director Oliver Stone, for all of his excesses, never puts out anything boring.
Why it's a must-see:Oliver Stone films are always a must-see, even when they miss the mark.
I have included this one for my Dad. I have such fond memories of going to the movies with him, and I specifically remember seeing this one. I would have been 11.
I could have included "The Benny Goodman Story," The Glenn Miller Story," "The Gene Krupa Story," or any film highlighting the lives of the Big Band and jazz greats from the 30's and 40's, but I chose this one because my Dad also played the cornet and loved Dixieland jazz music and this movie is filled with the music I grew up with.
Why it's a must-see:It's a great example of 1950's Hollywood, Dixieland, and it's a great tear-jerker.
And what a life it was. Supposedly born on the streets of Paris in 1915, she was a street performer at an early age. She was discovered and became an acclaimed nightclub singer, singing about her hard life. "La Vie En Rose," was her signature song. But it was her personal life that was not successful. She was involved with gangsters, boxers, Yves Montand; there were car crashes, airplane crashes and she died at 47.
Why it's a must-see: Edith Piaf's life makes for a riveting film and Marion Cotillard'sAcademy Award winning performance captures Piaf's "Little Sparrow" persona. For you youngsters out there (and I'm one of them!), the real Edith Piaf:
Her jazz singing was a masterpiece of phrasing and Sinatra has cited her as an influence. However, her personal life was rife with drug addiction, alcoholism and legal issues and she died at the age of 44.
Why it's a must-see:Diana Ross's performance which shocked the naysayers who didn't think she could do it. Did she do it?
Despite being blind from the age of 7, he was a pioneer of "soul" - rhythm and blues, gospel and blues, all fused together. Frank Sinatra called him "the only true genius in show business." Why it's a must-see:It's an inspiring life played wonderfully by Jamie Foxx.
Nobody listening to mainstream music had heard of Selena Quintanilla-Pérez until her murder in 1995 by an assistant who had been fired for embezzlement.
Selena was born in Texas and was "The Queen of TejanoMusic." At the time of her death, she was on the cusp of crossing into the mainstream, which, ironically did happen after her death.
Why it's a must-see:Jennifer Lopez played Selena and this was the turning point in her career and also the moment I became a huge fan of J-lo. She also had the first famous big butt, way before Kim Kardashian. Check it out!
Jennifer did not do her own singing, which I found strange, but then she wasn't the star then she is now, thanks to this film.
The country singers seem to have the most difficult lives and tragic deaths. Patsy Cline was no exception.
Part of the early Nashville Sound, Patsy Cline was also able to cross over into pop music. She was arguably one of the most successful female vocalists of the 20th century. Patsy Cline came before Loretta Lynn, but they were professional rivals. This film was produced by the same guy who produced "Coal Miner's Daughter," so there is a soap opera element to both. Sissy Spacek sang her own songs; Jessica Langue lip-synched. Watch them in tandem and see what you think.
Why it's a must-see: Lange's Oscar-nominated performance.
For you youngsters out there, here's the real Patsy who Jessica was lip-synching to:
Why it's a must-see:Joaquin Phoenix does not readily come to mind when you think Johnny Cash nor does Reese Witherspoon when you think of June Carte,r but both won Oscars for their performances.
Based on her book "I, Tina: What's Love Got to do With It?" Tina Turner tells her story of stardom coupled with abuse at the hands of her husband, Ike, and how she was finally able to break free.
Why it's a must-see: Angela Bassett had been pretty much toiling in television and supporting roles until this role came along to make her a household name and give her an Oscar nomination.
Man has been naughty so God plans to destroy mankind. Or most of them, anyway. Noah is called upon by God to save the innocent (meaning the animals) from the coming deluge so Noah builds an ark.
I know. Don't ask.
But I actually have a soft spot for biblical movies.
Here is another genre my Dad liked, so he and I attended many of the biblical films which seemed to abound in the 50's and early 60's: "The Ten Commandments (who can forget Yul Brynner's famous line, "Moses, Moses, Moses")," "Samson and Delilah" and "David and Bathsheba," to name a few. Some of those biblical tales were a bit racy for my young self, I must say. (I wonder what my Mom was doing when I was going to all of these movies with my Dad).
This telling of the classic Bible story is a sort of Mad Max version. It's a dystopian world and nobody gets to wear cute clothes.
I think I need to dust off my bible a bit, though, because this film had some things in it I didn't remember from Sunday school.
I didn't remember that:
1. Noah spoke with an Australian accent.
2. The bad guy spoke with a Cockney accent.
3. And Noah's wife (Jennifer Connelly) had to affect a slight British accent to keep up, I guess.
4. Fallen angels were stone monsters who could help build the ark
5. A bad guy stowed away on the ark
6. A lot of family drama took place, which I guess should be expected when you are trying to survive the end of the world and start a whole new civilization. That would cause a certain amount of stress, I guess.
And here are some things I have never quite understood.
If the world started with Adam and Eve and they had three sons, Cain, Abel and Seth (didn't really know about Seth), and Cain kills Abel, and Cain and Seth start two different sides of the family, how was that possible? Where did the women come from?
Also, how did the animals know where to find the ark?
And along those lines, if Noah saved just two of each animal, to "go forth and multiply," wouldn't that involve an awful lot of inbreeding? I am not even going to think about how the humans handled that issue.
Written and directed by Darren Aronofsky ("Black Swan"), Russell Crowe (Noah) is joined by Anthony Hopkins as Methuselah, Jennifer Connelly as Noah's wife, Ray Winstone as the guy from the bad side of the family (Cain's) and Emma Watson as some girl they found along the way to round out the family and allow there to be some going forth and multiplying. Nick Nolte was the voice of one of the stone monsters. Unfortunately the women aren't given much to do.
All in all, this film was better than expected, except for one thing.
Please, Russell, do NOT sing. I have barely healed from your singing in Les Miserables.
When I came out of the movie theatre, it was starting to rain so I got a funny feeling and raced home to beat the possible deluge. It was that good.
Rosy the Reviewer says...If you like your bible stories with a touch of Mad Max and Lord of the Rings, you will probably like this.
Rachel (Kathryn Hahn) is a bored stay-at-home Mom with a lackluster sex life. Then she meets McKenna (Juno Temple), a young stripper and invites her to stay with her and her husband. You can kind of guess what's going to happen.
Kathryn Hahn has toiled in TV ("Parks and Recreation") and was a stand-out in "We're the Millers," which didn't do much for Jennifer Aniston's career. With five films coming out in the next year or so and filming two more as I write, Hahn is ready for the big break out. And if you read my blog, you know that I love Juno Temple and can't believe she hasn't hit the big time yet. She is a Brit who has starred in more films playing an American than I can count. But she is a delight and can do anything.
My main complaint about this film is the ending. It was too pat. The way this film was headed, the ending should have been devastating, not an "afternoon delight."
Rosy the Reviewer says...Another one of those little indies I like so much. Get to know Hahn and Temple. You will be seeing more of them. Barefoot(2014)
The ne're do well son of a wealthy family (Scott Speedman) takes a young psychiatric patient (Evan Rachel Wood), who's been raised in isolation her entire life, to his brother's wedding as his nurse girlfriend. Bad idea.
This is your typical "fish out of water" story, young girl who has never driven tries to drive a car, doesn't know what love is, yada yada yada. It's a sort of "Being There," but without the "profundities" or really good filmmaking.
The barefoot part is because our heroine is always barefoot. Duh.
Treat Williams is the father of our so-called hero and one can only be reminded of the career he once had (remember "Prince of the City?") and his leading man good looks. He is still good looking, but leading man roles eluded him. However, he appears to be working regularly but in decidedly supporting roles. What happened Treat? Rosy the Reviewer says...Tried to be a quirky rom-com, but in the end you just don't care about these people.
Agnes, AKA "Apple," a pregnant teen (Vanessa Hudgens) from an abusive home wants to keep her child and finds help from a caring stranger.
Don't confuse this film with the Rolling Stones concert film of the same name.
About 30 minutes into this film, I realized I was watching a blatant pro-life movie. It's funny, too, because I have seen countless films about girls and women not wanting to give up their babies, but this movie just screamed MESSAGE.
Sometimes I watch movies that I don't know that much about. Sometimes that's a good thing; sometimes not. This being a pro-life movie is not necessarily a bad thing, but in this case, it so obviously has a religious message that the drama, acting and everything else takes a back seat to THE MESSAGE. I'm not a fan of those kinds of movies.
Based on the true story of Kathy DiFiore, who started shelters for pregnant teens who wanted to keep their babies, this film is earnest and definitely putting out the conservative message. But that doesn't mean that Hudgens doesn't do a good job of shedding her "High School Musical" image, which she does, though her character is hard to like. But someone who has been dragged through the foster system probably would be pretty bitter.
Rosario Dawson also does a good job as the crazy, drug-addicted mother. I didn't even recognize her. Must have been the yellow teeth. How she and Brendan Fraser got together to produce "Apple" is explained late in the film and is one of the more touching moments.
Ann Dowd plays DiFiore, and she is a wonderful actress who can do anything. She is one of those "faces," but you should know her name.
Ironically, the best parts of this film are when Apple is in the shelter, but that's almost an hour in, and even the presence of James Earl Jones cannot compel me to recommend this film.
I hate to say it, but this is more Lifetime Movie than feature film.
Rosy the Reviewer says...Pro-lifers will rejoice. People who like their films with less heavy handedness will not.
***Book of the Week***
Kitty Genovese:The Murder, the Bystanders and the Crime that Changed America by Kevin Cook (2014)
The murder of Kitty Genovese in a quiet part of Queens, New York, in 1964 shook the nation, because she was killed supposedly while 38 of her neighbors watched and no one called the police.
Or was that really what happened?
Cook attempts to clear the misconceptions surrounding this horrendous murder and whether or not her neighbors really did just watch her die and do nothing.
He sets the stage with Kitty's life and the murderers life until they collide in that horrendous night. Something I didn't know. Kitty was a lesbian and was living that lifestyle...well, as much as any woman could in those days. It was actually against the law in New York to even cross dress.
The murder of Kitty Genovese took place in 1964 and scared the crap out of me. It shook the sense of safety one has when one is young. My mother and I went to visit my sister who was living in New York City at the time and to see the World's Fair so this was all fresh and scary. It also scared the crap out of the whole nation.
But Cook contends that the New York Times article that called out the "38" neighbors who "didn't want to get involved," that scared a nation and was the catalyst for neighborhood watch groups and an emergency phone service was an exaggeration and that those neighbors either didn't really see what was happening or did try to help.
In my mind, it doesn't matter whether it was 38 people or 3, no one came out to help her and that is the scary, scary part.
Grisly details and something to think about, but comforting to know, after all of these years, that Kitty Genovese didn't die alone.
But the question is this: Does Cook make his point? You decide.
Rosy the Reviewer says...If you are a true crime fan, this is one of the most sensational and devastating crimes of the 20th century and, arguably, where the phrase "I didn't want to get involved" came from.
Seymour works in a flower shop on Skid Row and loves his co-worker Audrey. He doesn't have many prospects until he discovers a strange plant. The plant brings curious visitors and business to the shop and everything is looking up until we discover the plant needs blood to survive -- and it demands it! This musical version of Roger Corman'scult film class of the same name has music by Alan Menken and lyrics by Howard Ashman, who wowed us with his brilliant lyrics in "The Little Mermaid" and "Beauty and the Beast" and sadly died of AIDS at the age of 40.
Hilarious script and great catchy songs ("Suddenly Seymour," "Somewhere That's Green" and "The Dentist Song").
It is currently playing in Seattle at the ACT Theatre.
Rosy the Reviewer says...this is a perennial favorite of theatre companies nationwide so if it comes to a theatre near you, don't miss it!
Red Cow joins other restaurants in the Ethan Stowell empire in a renovated space in the Seattle Madrona neighborhood where the French restaurant Cremant used to be.
As the name implies, it's all about meat and you can get your steaks in a variety of cuts and a variety of cost points. The French fries are very French, just the way I like them.
It's a small industrial space and can be quite noisy but it's also a charming space with a cozy bar. The wait staff is friendly and attentive without being overly so.
The restaurant hasn't been open long but it's already popular. Many people were being turned away while we dined so make reservations.
Rosy the Reviewer says...the steak frites rule the day here.
That's it for this week.
See you Tuesday for
"A Little Meditation on a Little Meditation by an Unlikely Meditator"
Check your local library for DVDs and book mentioned.
Note: Next time you are wondering whether or not to watch a particular film, check out my reviews on IMDB (The International Movie Database).
If I reviewed a movie, you can now find my reviews there too.
Find the page for the movie, click on "Explore More" on the right side panel and then scroll down to "External Reviews." Click on that and you will find me alphabetically under "Rosy the Reviewer."
