Remembering Princess Diana

(First published in 2014)

Other than family members, there are three people whose deaths affected me so much I remember exactly where I was when I heard the news.

Many, many people can relate to that when it comes to the assassination of President Kennedy.  I remember I was sitting in class when the principal came on the PA system and said, "Our President has been shot."  I thought he meant our high school class president.  That's how far out of the realm of possibility I thought it could be that he was talking about the President of the United States.

Another death that affected me profoundly was the death of John Lennon.  I was lying in bed with my newborn son watching TV when the announcement was made.  It was shattering. The Beatles had a profound effect on my youth and our culture.  How could one of the Beatles possibly be dead?

And finally, I was in bed watching TV when I heard about Diana too.  I let out a scream.

Last Sunday, August 31st, marked the seventeenth anniversary of Princess Diana's death in a car accident.  She was killed in Paris in a speeding car driven by a drunken minion of Mohamed Al-Fayed, the owner of Harrod's and The Ritz Hotel in Paris and father of Dodi, who Diana was dating. She was only 36.  Supposedly the driver was speeding to avoid the paparazzi following them.

I still think of her.  She too had a profound effect on my life and her death was wrenching.

I have always been fascinated by the British Royal Family. I am a huge Anglophile.  I think I got it from my mother. 

I was born in 1948, the same year as Prince Charles so I think that was the fascination for my mother. She probably thought her little daughter could grow up to marry a prince. She was a bit of an Anglophile and had some cups with baby Prince Charles on them and other Royal collectibles. And when Princess Elizabeth became Queen at only 26, her coronation in 1953 was the first ever televised.  The whole world was watching.

No matter what you think of the British Royal Family, Queen Elizabeth has taken her vows very seriously and reigned earnestly for over 60 years. Many heads of state have come and gone, but Queen Elizabeth endures.

While poking around in my parents' closet (I was a nosy kid), I found a book called "The Little Princesses," all about Elizabeth and her sister, Princess Margaret, which started me down that road of "Royal Watching."

So of course I was terribly interested in who Prince Charles would marry.  But when Diana came along, my interest peaked.

Diana Spencer was 19, pretty and virginal and more Royal than the Queen. Diana's lineage went back to the 14th century and English King Edward III.  She was British through and through, whereas Queen Elizabeth's roots are German. Diana was perfect. And you can tell from the start she was besotted with Charles. 

However, the red flags were there early.  When their engagement was announced, at the end of this interview, the interviewer asked, "And you are in love?" to which Diana emphatically replied, "Course!" and to which Charles added, "Whatever 'in love' means."  Oops.  Clouds ahead.

But the wedding was fabulous.  I stayed up all night to watch it as did most of the world.

Everyone was mad about Shy Di, and when she produced "an heir and a spare," we were over the moon.  None of us knew that Charles was really in love with someone else and Diana had "issues."  But as a 19-year-old virgin, Diana was a lamb to the slaughter.

The cracks in the marriage and subsequent affairs on both sides were hidden for a time, but finally came out in 1992 in the book "Diana, Her True Story," written by journalist Andrew Morton but supposedly fed to Morton by Diana herself.

And when she was interviewed in 1995 by Martin Bashir for BBC's Panorama TV show, that was the final straw and the Queen made it clear that Charles and Diana needed to divorce.

After the divorce, Diana was forced to give up her Royal title, meaning that she would no longer be addressed as HRH.  Little Prince William poignantly said to her, "Don't worry, Mummy, I will give it back to you one day when I am King."  (sniff).

But she thrived in her 30's, raising her sons, falling in love and giving her life to many causes such as AIDS research and the eradication of land mines in Angola.  She was truly "The People's Princess."  I loved watching her life unfold.  And I have to confess I loved her clothes.

When she died, I stayed up all night again, this time to bid farewell.  I cried all night long as I watched her funeral procession with her sons following the casket

with Harry's card that said "Mummy" on top of it,

and at the end the hearse carrying her coffin to its final resting place - her childhood home.  I am sad again remembering this.


It is difficult to explain what Diana meant to me. 

I suppose it sounds silly to many who can't comprehend having feelings for someone they never met.  But to me, she represented youth, beauty, fairy tales, Princesses, motherhood, compassion.  Her compassion validated people. She famously held the hands of AIDS and leprosy patients when others feared doing so. Her soul touched the souls of others.  The love for her sons was palpable.  It was easy to think that she would have been a good friend. Hers was a story that you wanted to have a happy ending.  You rooted for her. And when she died before she could fulfill her promise or even find lasting happiness, it was a huge sadness.  She would be 53 now had she lived. 

All I can say is that I loved being in a world that she was in and when she died in such a terrible way, a little piece of me died with her.

I am probably not explaining myself very well.  It's difficult to explain what goes on in one's heart, but I wanted to write this today because I want her to be remembered.  She had a special light.  Her soul spoke to my soul.

I think Prince William and Prince Harry have that light too, and I am enjoying watching their lives unfold.  They appear to have avoided the pomp and stuffiness of the Royals that so stifled Diana.  So she lives on through them.

I have stood over and looked down onto the Alma Tunnel in Paris, where Diana died, and paid tribute at the memorial to Diana that is there.

I have visited Kensington Palace where she lived and seen the memorial fountain in Hyde Park. I have countless collectibles featuring her, and naturally, I have the Princess Diana doll with all of her clothes, including the wedding dress.  Even though she died tragically, I enjoy remembering her.

 

Thanks for Reading!

 

See you Friday for

 

"The Life Story of Mildred Pierce (the dog, not the movie character)

 

and

 

The Week in Reviews

 

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My New Job and The Week in Reviews

[I review the new movie "If I Stay," the DVDs "The Company You Keep" and "Love Punch" and a book about the infamous murder of Skylar Neese).

But First

"New job," you ask?  "I thought you were retired." 

Well I am, but I definitely have a new job.  I will get to that later.

Meanwhile, remember that blog post called "Today is the First Day of the Rest of My Life," where I set goals for myself for each month for the next year in order to shake myself out of retirement complacency?  Well, it's the end of month number two, and I am checking in with those of you who care.

As you may remember, I eased into this whole shaking up my life thing slowly.  I didn't want it to shake too much!

For July, I pledged to not order a Skinny Vanilla Latte, my usual caffeine of choice, but instead order anything else.  Check.  I did not order a Skinny Vanilla Latte once in July, though I must admit I am back to doing that again.  But to my credit, I did branch out and try some new flavors.  What's wrong with doing a little experimenting and then deciding you were right all along?

For August, I vowed to moisturize every day. 

I know, I know...like I said, I was easing into this changing my life thing slowly.  My motivation was the fact that I had a facial and thought I ought to keep up the good work, so to speak, not to mention I'm old and the face ain't what it used to be.  But the person giving me my facial was shocked that I rarely moisturized.  I told her that I had read about Katherine Hepburn's facial regimen.  She scrubbed the crap out of her face with a rough cloth and that was it.  I haven't gone that far but in fact, my beauty routine was merely a warm wash cloth on the face.

So did I moisturize in August?  I didn't rise to this challenge, I'm afraid.  I only did it a couple of times.  I guess I have a thing against putting crap on my face (except eye shadow, eye liner, mascara, blush and lipstick.  Does that count?).

Despite my "bad" habits, I don't have many wrinkles. I think good genes have something to do with it.

So I failed that challenge but onwards and upwards. 

For September, I vowed to ride my new bike every day that the sun shines and the way this summer has been going, I will be riding my bike a lot!  I am thinking of my Mom.  Riding her bike and walking were her main forms of exercise and she lived to be 91 so I am in good company.  Those good genes again.

So that little update leads me to this new job I was talking about.

My new job is.....ME!

That is the main thing I have learned about retirement in the last year+ since I have been retired.

When I first retired, I thought I needed to have all of these plans.

I joined a book club, signed up for Zumba, volunteered for regular hours at the senior center where I had been on the Board, signed up for some horse back riding lessons, started to meditate, applied to be on our local Council on Aging and worked on my blogging skills.  I made lists of household projects, daily routine lists, and made sure I went to the gym.

Since then, I realized I didn't want to go to the book club, which was several miles away, nor did I want to read a book dictated by that.  Likewise Zumba was too early in the morning for me and I am a crappy dancer.  Volunteering at the Senior Center required me to sign up for specific hours, and I didn't want to be locked into that kind of routine anymore.  As for the horseback riding, I will probably still do that, but for the horse's sake, I want to lose some weight first. 

I do meditate, which has helped me learn about myself.
  
I am a member of the Council on Aging, where I feel I am making a difference advocating for the rights and services of older people (like me), so that people can "age in place," something my mother was not able to do. 

I am on the Advisory Board of my local library, I blog, I go to the gym, I read, I cook, I go to concerts and the theatre and have accomplished many household tasks such as inventorying all of my cupboards and throwing out food where the sell by date had expired (I don't dare say how old some of that stuff was), have gone through all of my clothes and taken many to a consignment shop (a little extra cash never hurts), washed all of the curtains, and I am all caught up with my ironing.  Hubby is surprised that I actually choose to do household tasks and projects.

And that's the point.  I get to choose.

When I first retired, I thought it was essential that I replace my 40 years as a librarian with other purposeful activities.  I was terrified I would sit in front of the TV all day and not accomplish anything.  And here's the thing.  Sometimes I DO sit in front of the TV, because as you know, I love my television.  But what I learned was that it's OK, because my very existence is all the purpose I need.

Now that's not to say that I don't accomplish things.  I do. 

I am still that person who makes plans and lists.  I am still that responsible person who wants to do a good job.  But I get to choose the jobs I take on. 

And I am involved with some activities that are just as meaningful as the work I did for my community in the public library setting such as training to be a senior peer counselor. 

But my message here is not to freak out when you retire, because you are not working 40 hours per week at something else.  It's OK to just be.

Your new job when you retire is being alone with yourself, finding out who and what you are and acting accordingly.

When people ask for my advice about retirement or ask me what it's like, I tell them it could take a year or two to get used to being alone with yourself and figure it out.  You now have the time to be alone without the distractions of having to get to work on time, following directives from your boss, accomplishing tasks on time, etc.  I am not talking about necessarily being physically alone.  I am talking about having the time to listen to yourself and follow where it leads.

You now have the time to truly live your life.

When I do look back and see everything I am doing and am interested in, I am amazed I was able to do what I did when I was working and gone from the house 9-10 hours per day.  How I raised my children, kept the house clean and watched TV as much as I did, I will never know.  Well, yes I do, I was often bitchy and stressed.

So now my job is ME.  But I have my daily routines, and I even give myself days off.  Not from myself, but from the many activities that already occupy my time.

Hubby thinks that's hilarious since I don't have a regular job anymore, but I am busy so I need some days where I can go where the day takes me.  No gym, no appointments, no obligations.

But I like to think of Friday as "Fabulous Friday," and get out of the gym clothes and dress up - look fabulous! 

Since Hubby still works, Saturday usually includes some activity with Hubby that involves exercise - stair walking, bike riding, exploring - and then drinks and dinner.

So even in retirement, I have my routine because I am that kind of person, and I hate to repeat this cliche...Since I have retired, I'm busier than I ever was (when I first retired, I can't tell you how many times people said that to me and I thought, "Yeah, right...").

The point is this.  Whether it's taking Zumba classes or bicycling across the U.S. or being busier than you ever were or not busy at all, watching "Dating Naked" or "Masterpiece Theatre," retirement is a time to try things without fear of failure or being judged.  And it's a time to learn to be alone with yourself.  No matter what, you will always be you.

So the guilt I felt about retiring and the stress about what my purpose would be when I was not defined by my work have been replaced by a sense of freedom to be my true self knowing that my existence is my own purpose. 

And that's enough.  No matter what.
.

 

Now on to The Week In Reviews

***In Theatres Now***

 

If I Stay

 

 

Young Mia Hall's (Chloe Grace Moretz who starred in the remake of "Carrie") life changes in an instant when she is in a devastating car accident.  In a coma and near death, Mia has an out-of-body experience, and she must decide to stay or go.

Mia's mother and father are ex-punk rockers.  Mia couldn't be more different.  She is a conservative young lady with a passion for the cello.  She meets Adam (Jamie Blackley), a singer in a rock and roll band and they fall in love.  Mia has applied to Juilliard and everything is looking good for her until she is in a car accident with her family and falls into a coma.  She wakes up only to realize that her physical self is near death.  Through a series of flashbacks and lots of her ghostly self running around the hospital, we learn Mia's story.

Many of us wonder what it would be like if we could attend our own funeral.  This film is sort of like that.  As Mia lies in a coma, she gets to watch her family and friends visit her in the hospital.  I couldn't help but think how horrible it would be if we all get that opportunity and no one comes.

Based on the young adult novel of the same name by Gayle Forman published in 2009, this is supposed to be a tearjerker and teen girls will probably find it so.  But adults may be as annoyed with some of this as I was.

First of all, nothing is more obnoxious than precocious, wise-cracking children, unless it is too cool, wise-cracking parents.  Mia's mother played by Mireille Enos is particularly obnoxious.  Another annoyance is this continual use of Vancouver, B.C for other locations. It used to be a stand-in for Seattle, but now we are supposed to think we are in Portland.  If you know anything about Portland, you know it doesn't have a coastline, but the filmmakers didn't seem to think we would notice.  I did and it grated.  And I am not a big fan of movies with massive amounts of narration.  If you have to beat us over the head with the story instead of telling it visually, which is what movies are all about (remember, "A picture is worth a thousand words?"), then you are letting the film down.

But Moretz and Blackley make a handsome, appealing couple (I first noticed Blackley's handsomeness in "Snow White and the Huntsman" ), but all in all, this film doesn't pull the heart-strings it wanted to.  I was left unmoved, though the teen-aged girls in the audience swooned a bit.

There was a sequel to the book so there probably will be a sequel to the film. Since the story has a sequel and the ending of this film is so predictable, I don't think I am spoiling anything if I ask, will it be called "She Stayed?" 

Rosy the Reviewer says...if you are not a teen-aged girl, save your money.

***DVDS***

You Might Have Missed

(And Some You Will Be Glad You Did)

 

 

 

The Company You Keep (2012)

 

 

A wanted former Weather Underground radical with a new identity is discovered by a journalist and goes on the run to prove his innocence.

A star-powered cast joins Robert Redford in this exploration of aging radicals and the consequences of choices made in one's youth.

Based on the novel by Neil Gordon which in turn seems to be based on the true-life story of Sara Jane Olson, who like Susan Sarandan's character built a straight life for herself for 23 years while on the run from her role in a bombing by the Symbionese Liberation Army.

Redford plays Jim Grant, a widowed lawyer with a young daughter (too young for someone Redford's age, if you ask me), played by Jackie Evancho (who wowed viewers with her operatic voice and who finished second on the 5th season of "America's Got Talent").  Jim has created a new life for himself after a youth enmeshed in the Weather Underground.  He is wanted for his participation with that group in a Michigan bank robbery in 1980.  After the arrest of another figure in that robbery who had also created a new life for herself (Susan Sarandon), an ambitious reporter (Shia LeBeouf) starts looking more closely into the case which leads him to Grant.  Grant heads to Michigan to prove his innocence.

Anna Kendrick, Stanley Tucci, Brit Marling, Julie Christie, Nick Nolte, Terrence Howard, Chris Cooper, Richard Jenkins, and Brendan Gleeson round out the all-star cast and give this film acting gravitas.

No matter what you think of Redford's politics or the vehicles he chooses to direct and star in, you can count on him for serious films with integrity that will make you think.

Rosy the Reviewer says...a smart, engrossing adult story that brings back those revolutionary, idealistic Baby Boomer years.

 

 

 

The Love Punch (2013)

 

 

A divorced couple band together to get back retirement money stolen from their company by an unscrupulous French businessman.

 

Richard (Pierce Brosnan) and Kate (Emma Thompson) are divorced but that doesn't stop Richard from enlisting Kate's help in recovering stolen funds looted from Richard's company by a French businessman (Laurent Lafitte).  Aided by their friends Jerry (Timothy Spall) and Pen (Celia Imrie), faces you will recognize from many a British film, they all travel to Paris to recover the money.

 

There is a jewel heist plot, lots of making fun of the French (which British comedies like to do) and all kinds of tired jokes. It was nice to see Marisa Berensen in a cameo.  She hasn't been seen much.

 

Unlike the serious treatment senior citizens got in Redford's "The Company You Keep (see review above)," there is a certain kind of movie that gets a kick out of itself showing senior citizens having sex, participating in car chases and planning heists.  This is one of those movies. It wants to be a screwball comedy from the early 70's like "A Touch of Class" that starred Glenda Jackson and George Segal (one of my favorite movies of all time) or the Pink Panther films (there is even a reference to those), but instead it's a predictable, tired mess.  Brosnan and Thompson are as charming as ever, but this film lets them down.

 

I never understand films where divorced people team up especially when they got divorced because of cheating.  If my divorce for that very reason is any indication, I am not only unlikely to help my ex, but he is unlikely to ask me to.  But such is the stuff of these middle-aged comedies.

 

Rosy the Reviewer says...love Pierce Brosnan, love Emma Thompson, love British movies, hated this one.

***Book of the Week***

 

 

 

 

Pretty Little Killers: the Truth Behind the Savage Murder of Skylar Neese by Daleen Berry (2014)

 

 

True life account of the murder of a fifteen-year-old girl by her two "best friends."

Skylar Neese and Shelia Eddy had been friends since the second grade.  However, when Shelia befriended new girl Rachel Shoaf, the two became three and the dynamic changed and Shelia and Rachel began plotting Skylar's murder.

When the girls were finally accused and tried, their only explanation for the brutal stabbing of their friend was that they didn't want to be friends with her anymore.

This book attempts to explain what happened.

 

Many people think that reading true crime books is like reading the tabloids or pulp fiction.  But there are some wonderful true crime books out there.

What makes a really good true crime book?  Good writing.  Think Truman Capote's "In Cold Blood," a chilling account of the murder of the Clutter Family in Kansas in 1959 or Jon Krakauer's "Under the Banner of Heaven," that weaves the history of Mormonism into an account of a modern day murder or "The Executioner's Song" by Norman Mailer, which tells the tale of Gary Gilmore's execution and for which Mailer won a Pulitzer.

Rosy the Reviewer says...Unfortunately, this book doesn't rank up there with the best.  The writing lets it down. 

If this case interests you, watch the Dateline version (below) and if you like true crime books, check out the ones I mentioned above. 
 

 

 

That's it for this week!

Thanks for reading!

See you Tuesday

for

"Remembering Princess Diana"

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Check your local library for DVDs and books mentioned.

Note:  Next time you are wondering whether or not to watch a particular film, check out my reviews on IMDB (The International Movie Database). 

Here is a quick link to get to all of them.  Choose the film you are interested in and then scroll down the list of reviewers to find "Rosy the Reviewer."
 

Or you can go directly to IMDB.  

Find the page for the movie, click on "Explore More" on the right side panel and then scroll down to "External Reviews."  Look for "Rosy the Reviewer" on the list. Or if you are using a mobile device, look for "Critics Reviews." Click on that and you will find me alphabetically under "Rosy the Reviewer."

 

Kim Karsashian's Butt, or Things That Are Overrated

I have to admit that I wanted to put "Kim Kardashian's Butt" in the title of my blog post to see if it ups traffic to my blog.  I mean, how many people are "Googling" that, I wonder.

 

But with that as my ulterior motive, it did get me to thinking about things that really are overrated, Kim's butt included.  I mean, c'mon, since when is a big butt a good thing?  Is it OK to have a big butt if you are a celebrity, but if it's my big butt, I'm just fat?

What else is overrated?

How about truffle oil? 

Restaurants are putting truffle oil on practically everything these days.  Don't get Hubby started on truffle oil fries.  He is a frites connoisseur (that's just fancy talk for he really likes French fries), but will shun them if they contain a speck of truffle oil.  A truffle is a fungus, for god's sake.  Most of the time if someone asked you, "Do you want to eat some fungus?" you would probably say "ick."  But because truffles are a delicacy to some (mostly the French), why, let's slather our fries with the flavor of truffles.

Something else that I think is highly overrated is morning.

I know as a person of a certain age, I should thank my lucky stars every morning that I am still alive and kicking, and I know there are those of you who are morning people, who love nothing more than to pop open your eyes and jump out of bed to greet the day (Hubby is like that, damn him!).  But those two things apart, IN GENERAL, mornings suck. 

First of all, mornings require that you get out of bed.  That right there is a problem considering I was up until 2am with my best friend Pinot Gris. 

But even if I went to bed at a reasonable hour stone cold sober, I would still lounge around in bed until at least 9am, because I am just not a morning person. 

Sometimes I can't even contemplate the routine:  Get up, potty, brush teeth, make bed, put in contacts, figure out what to wear, put clothes on, go downstairs to the sound of barking dogs who want their morning treat (how did I get myselt into that?), and try to be civil to Hubby. It's too much. So just best to stay in bed.  

Before I retired, mornings also implied work - something I was required to get up and do.  How I did that for 40 years, I will never know because now that I am retired, my true nature has kicked in and my true nature is a night owl who likes to sleep until at least 9am and get up when I feel like it.

As an avid concert goer, I have also determined that sitting in the front row is overrated. 

I always thought if I was in the front row, I would get to high five my rock idols, receive a guitar pick or even get pulled up on stage.  Well, not only does that NOT happen when you sit in the front row, you are lucky if the performer even looks down at you.  No, their eyes are scanning the vastness of the crowd that has come to see THEM. 

All you get to do in the front row is look up at them in adoration.  No, it works best to sit somewhere in the middle and then if you are allowed to gather at the foot of the stage during the encore, some of your dreams might be realized. 

Going down into the "mosh pit," so to speak, I have high-fived a Beatle (Ringo), shared a moment with my guitar idol Steve Lukather (I said "You're fabulous!" to him as he went off stage and he mouthed "You're Fab-u-lous" back - or I think he did),



I have a drum stick from the drummer from INXS, 

and a guitar pick from Steve Miller.  And that's just in the last couple of years. 

"Groupiedom" dies hard.

 

 

Double sinks in the bathroom are also overrated.
 
I can't believe how many times someone rejects a house on "House Hunters," because there are not two sinks in the master bathroom.  

Does that mean those people brush their teeth together?  If not, what do you need two sinks for?  Do they need a sink that is their very own so that they won't share cooties?  I don't get it. I have been married for over 30 years and I think that one of the secrets of our success is that we DON'T brush out teeth together.   We not only don't brush our teeth together, we don't get ready together. Why would we want to be in there together? We not only don't get ready together, we don't talk in the morning either. I told you I wasn't a morning person.

 

Security Systems are overrated.

You are afraid of being burgled so you spend a bunch of money to have everything wired and then someone breaks in when you are gone and an alarm goes off.  So what?  By the time the cops arrive, especially if you live in the 'burbs,' the bad guys have run off with your stuff.  Here is what I think is the best deterrent for burglars.

Now this might be teensy weensy controversial, but I think that Summer is very overrated. 

Here in Seattle, we have had the longest and most beautiful summer we have experienced in the ten years we have lived here.  But now I am ready for some gloom (check back with me in a few months when it starts getting dark at 4pm.  I might change my mind).

Having been born with highly sun sensitive skin, I am not a sun worshiper. I burn to a crisp with the slightest sun exposure. My brother used to call me Casper the Friendly Ghost, because my skin was so white so I never liked to wear shorts or expose my skin much.

And I wasn't too happy with him calling me that. My brother was fond of nicknames.  He called our mother Witch Hazel.  That didn't go over so big either.

I grew up on Lake Michigan and I can't swim so you would never mistake me for a beach bunny.  My arms are fat so I don't like to wear sleeveless clothes, and I would rather sit in a smoky café and talk about Sartre than commune with nature.  (Speaking of which, I consider myself an existentialist.  I am so existential, I even flunked my existentialism class in college). And unrelenting sun depresses me.  So Summer and I don't get along that well.

I also think that Shakespeare is overrated.

Now I know that will raise the ire in lovers of literature.  As an actress, I played Miranda in "The Tempest" and I have done my share of Shakespeare study over the years. I know he supposedly thought of all seven possible plot lines, but I find reading him and watching his plays tedious.  Maybe I'm just not that smart. But give me a well-written biography or a seat for "West Side Story" and I'm there.

Finally, I think that working is overrated.  I like being retired.

Now I am going to sit back on my fat butt and see how many people find my blog by Googling "Kim Kardashian's Butt."

 

What do you think is overrated?

That's it for this week!

Thanks for reading!

See you Friday for the usual

"Week in Reviews." 

I will also tell you about my new job and get you caught up on how I am doing with my 

"Life Changing List."  

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to click on the share buttons to share it on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and LinkedIn, 
email it to your friends and
LIKE me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/rosythereviewer.