Why I Love My Library: The ME Factor

You knew I couldn't go too long without talking about libraries. 

I can't help it. As you all know, I spent 40 years of my life as a librarian, over 30 of those years in California, so it's practically in my blood at this point.

So that said, I am continually struck by the fact that not everyone knows what a great job public libraries are doing and all of the great FREE services and programs they provide.

And it is important to me that people know what they are missing by not taking advantage of what public libraries have to offer. 

But let me digress a bit.

My first library job was in a small Carnegie Library in a very rural area of Northern California.  How rural was it?  It was so rural it didn't even have a McDonald's!

 

Things were looking up with my career until 1978, when the Jarvis-Gann tax initiative (also known as Proposition 13) took hold of California and things were never the same again.  Property taxes were rolled back to their 1975 values and annual increases were restricted to less than 2%.  And a 2/3 vote was required for any tax increases, making it extremely difficult for public entities to raise taxes.

This was good news for property owners, especially older ones who were increasingly being taxed out of their homes (one of the major reasons this "tax revolt" occurred), but it was the death knell for County and City services, especially libraries, that relied on property tax revenue to operate.

I had not been a librarian long enough to become entrenched in big budgets, but every year I saw more and more cuts to the library budgets, fewer books, fewer services, fewer programs.

But despite a lack of money, we librarians did what we always did: provided the information and service people needed to help them make sense of their world.  So all hail to my ex-colleagues at the Monterey County Free Libraries and to all library staff who strive to provide excellent customer service despite setbacks.

Fast forward to when I moved to the Seattle area.

It was a revelation and a delight to continue my career in Washington, a state that is not only known for it's coffee drinkers, but for being one of the most literate states in the country and its residents huge library supporters. 

 

I was able to spend the last ten years of my library career working in a library with enough money to provide the services its communities needed and wanted.

But even in an area where the residents support library services, I was continually running into a number of people who were not aware of the programs and services that are available for free from their local public library, despite libraries working very hard to advertise and market these programs and services.  And this has been something that has not changed much over the last 40 years. 

People like the idea of having a public library.  It's a part of the fabric of the community.  They know it's something good to have and they want to have it.  But ask the regular person on the street or in a bar or at a party if he or she goes to the library and you will inevitably hear, "I haven't been in a library since I was a little kid," or "I buy my books" or worse yet, "I haven't read a book in years." 

This is all assuming, of course, that libraries are only about books, which these days is certainly not the case.

Why, despite pointed efforts to promote library services, do so many people carry misconceptions about libraries and are not aware of the plethora of programs and services available?



I have come to the following conclusion:



People are not interested in GOOD NEWS.

We were talking about this issue when I was in library school 40 years ago.  How do we get people to think of the library when they need information, to continue their education or to gather with other community members? 

And 40 years later, we are still asking the same question.  And with information so readily available on the Internet, it is an even bigger question.

One of my professors in library school said the best thing that could happen to libraries would be for a librarian to be splashed across headlines in the tabloids as part of a scandalous love nest or (this was the Watergate years) to be found to be a Watergate conspirator.

The point being, bad news sells and gets the word out. 

Good news doesn't.

I always felt that if people knew about all of the programs and services offered by their local library FOR FREE they would be beating down the doors.

As I said, most people would say that libraries are good and a community should have a library.  It's part of the quality of life for a community and is part of the "greater good." But that doesn't mean they use the library.  And that doesn't mean that when it comes time to raise taxes to support libraries, that people will support "the greater good."

That leads me to conclusion number two: 

To have their value appreciated, libraries need to connect directly one on one with someone's specific need.  Then the light bulb goes off, or as Oprah would say, that "A-Ha Moment" happens.

Because, in the end, it's all about ME.

Here is an example:  I meet someone at a party.  He is telling me about how he enjoys listening to talking books in his car on the way to work.  I ask him if he knew he could download talking books for free from the library's website?  Light bulb goes off.  "I did not know that," he says.  "I am going to check that out."  

"The Me Factor?"  I like talking books and I like to save money.

Or the person who comes to the library as a last resort because a friend had heard the library had free computer classes.  She is looking for a job, needs to fill out an online application and knows nothing about computers.  The librarian helps her on the spot.  Light bulb goes off. 

"The Me Factor?  I need a job and I need help filling out an online application.

Or when people find out they can check out 10 current DVDS for free...another light bulb.

"The Me Factor?" I like to watch DVDs but I don't like paying Netflix $25.00 per month.

So it seems that when someone has a need and the library can go beyond that person's expectation to fulfill that need, their own PERSONAL NEED, that's when the realization hits: 

The library has what I need.  The library can answer MY question.  The library can fulfill MY needs.  I need the library.  I will be back.

Personally, in the last week alone, here is how my local library helped ME:

1.  I used Ancestry.com to get some information for my blog post about my Swedish heritage, which you can read here, if you are so inclined.  Ancestry.com is a genealogy database that costs a fortune to use if you subscribe on your own, but it's free at the library.  I type in the name of my ancestor and voila!  Census records, immigration lists, etc.  If you have watched the TV show "Who Do You Think You Are" or "Finding Our Roots (PBS)," they use Ancestry all of the time.

2.  If you have been reading my Friday blog posts, you know I am embroiled in a project to see all 1001 movies listed in the book "1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die," (and you can keep up with my progress every Friday), a book I heard about and found at my local library and which has given me a project that will keep me busy until...well, until I die.

I painstakingly went through and marked the ones I had seen and made a list of those I had not seen - 312.  Then I checked Netflix and Amazon and my library's catalog, and though the library did not have all 312, the library had many of them AND some that neither Netflix nor Amazon had.  One movie alone would have cost me $150 to buy through Amazon, but at the library, it was free.

3.  I am getting ready to visit my grandchildren in California.  Whenever I fly, I want to have content on my IPad so I load it up with the magazines from Zinio, another service that is quite expensive if you were to subscribe to an online magazine on your own.  This service is available free on my library's website, and it includes a wealth of full-text magazines for free in all of their full color glossiness.  Why spend $10 loading up on the gossip mags at the airport (and you know you do!) when you already have them for free on your device?  And nobody can judge you for your choice of reading material!

(I have to confess I read them at home via Zinio too, along with the Food Network Magazine and other cooking magazines, Oprah's "O Magazine," and tons of fashion magazines.  Why pay for magazine subscriptions when you don't have to? And there is something for everyone - from "The Advocate"  to "Golf Tips" to "National Geographic Traveler").

So that is how my library has helped ME, in just the last week.

• But if I still had toddlers at home, I would take them to the free story times that would help them get ready to go to school.

• If I needed help with my English, I would attend the free ESL classes.

• If I wanted to become a U.S citizen, I would attend the free classes that would help me pass the test.

• If I needed to repair my car, I would use the free car repair databases.

• If I wanted to learn a new language, I would use the free Mango service on the website.

• If I had school children, I would set them up with the free homework help available online.

I could go on and on. 

It just depends on what your specific need is right now - your "Me Factor." 

So whatever it is, next time you have a question, a need, check out the library first.  Your specific need might just be filled right there for free.

And, on the library side, I don't think marketing the library by directing the librarians to get involved in a scandal so as to make the news is a good option.  However, working on marketing the "Me Factor" might work.

The American Library Association has long had a motto:  "The right book for the right person at the right time."

In this day and age, it should be "The specific need fulfilled for the specific person (ME) at the specific (and perfect) time."

Because in the end, it's all about ME.

Oh, and my local library that has given me so much? 

 

Sno-Isle Libraries

 

But I think if you check out YOUR local library's website or better yet, pay the library a visit, you will find many of the same great services.

Thanks for Reading!

 

See you Friday

 

where I will judge the new movie

 

"The Judge" 

 

along with my other reviews.

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email it to your friends and

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"Gone Girl" and The Week in Reviews

[I review the new movie "Gone Girl," the DVDs "Third Person" and "Breathe In" and Dick Cavett's new book, plus I bring you up to date on my "1001 Movies I Must See Before I Die Project." 

And new feature:  My A-HA! Moment of the Week:  This week I've discovered Wendy Williams!]

***NOTE:  Change is afoot.***

I have decided to make a bit of a change with my blog. 

Instead of writing a full-blown piece or rant on both Tuesdays and Fridays (plus my Friday reviews), I will rant on Tuesdays and review on Fridays. 

So if you are a fan of my rants, stories and observations, check in with me on Tuesdays.  If you are a fan of my witty and cheeky reviews and/or want to follow me as I work on my "1001 Movies I Must See Before I Die Project," check in on Fridays.  I will also include an "A-HA Moment of the Week" on Fridays.

 

And if you are a TRUE FAN, I will see you here both days, right?
 

"This Girl is Gone in More Ways Than One"

 

 

Gone Girl
(now showing)

Nick Dunne (Ben Affleck) discovers his wife missing and he becomes the prime suspect in her possible murder.

 

Nick had been visiting with his twin sister, Margo (Carrie Coon, who does look amazingly like Ben/Nick as well as looking amazingly like Janeane Garolfalo), at The Bar, a bar he and his wife own.  When he returns home and finds his wife, Amy (Rosamunde Pike), missing and what looks to be a crime scene in his living room, he calls the police. What they find is more than a smashed coffee table in the living room.  They find blood spatter. Not good for Nick.

Through a series of flashbacks, we also get a portrait of Nick's and Amy's courtship and marriage via Amy's voice-overs and diary entries.  As the police investigate Amy's disappearance, we learn that Amy is a well-known children's author who was the inspiration for a series of children's books, "Amazing Amy," that Nick and Amy both lost their jobs due to the recession and moved from NYC to Missouri to care for his ailing mother and that their marriage is also ailing.  Motive for murder?

 

Based on the best-selling novel of the same name by Gillian Flynn, I can't comment on how well this was translated to the screen since I didn't read the book, but since Flynn also adapted the screenplay, I would say if it's OK with her, it's OK with me.  And I am glad I hadn't read the book.  This is the kind of film where you don't want to know the plot twists and how it's going to end, though it's my understanding that the ending of the film is different from the ending of the novel.

 

The characters are complex.  Amy grew up rich and may have been the inspiration for "Amazing Amy," the fictionalized character in a series of children's books her parents created who could do anything, but she felt she never lived up to that character.  Nick came from Missouri and worked hard for what he had but alternates between smarmy charm and disloyal husband.

 

Director David Fincher, whose body of work includes "The Social Network," "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" and "Se7en," here deftly creates a fast-paced, intriguing, thriller with echoes of the Scott Peterson case, the movie "Body Heat,"  and some Hitchcock thrown in for good measure that explores the dark places in a marriage.  I figured out the first twist early on, and despite the fact that the movie is engrossing and I liked it, I found it too long and the ending unsatisfying.  I actually came up with a better ending which I wish I could share, but then that would spoil the film.

 

"Gone Girl" also presents a rather jaundiced view of marriage, seeming to say we act one way to attract a mate, but over time as the trials of marriage occur, we cannot keep up the pretense. We learn early on that Amy believes marriage is hard work, and then we learn that she will do anything to make it work - her way. Amy's and Nick's relationship started with sophisticated, snappy patter, lots of sex and deteriorated into...well, you will have to see the film.

 

I have been a big fan of Ben Affleck ever since his speech to Matt Damon in "Good Will Hunting" where he tells Matt he is too smart to stay in their town, working menial jobs.  I think he stole the show there.  Here he is also good, turning on the charm when needed and sweating profusely when needed. I think Ben is one of our most underrated actors, along with Leonardo Dicaprio.  Also after seeing Ben step out of the shower in the buff, I like him even better!

 

But this is British actress Rosamund Pike's film. She runs the gamut of emotion and character and takes us on a roller coaster ride.  Tyler Perry shines as Nick's lawyer, Tanner Bolt (it's refreshing to see Perry in a suit instead of women's clothing) and Kim Dickens as Det. Rhonda Boney is also outstanding.

 

As the media frenzy builds surrounding Amy's disappearance, there are some very funny digs at the media, Nancy Grace especially (I'm surprised she didn't mention her  twins), which I enjoyed very much, because I hate Nancy Grace.

 

Rosy the Reviewer says...a must see suspenseful Hitchcockian thriller, but be prepared for two and a half hours and a strange ending. 

 

 

***DVDS***

You Might Have Missed

(And Some You Will Be Glad You Did)

 

 

 

 

Third Person (2013)
 

 

 

Three different love stories play out simultaneously in Rome, Paris and New York.

 

Liam Neeson plays a Pulitzer Prize winning writer in Paris struggling with writer's block and also with a nutty estranged wife (not a stretch for Kim Basinger) and a young girlfriend (Olivia Wilde).  In Rome, Adrien Brody gets mixed up with a mysterious homeless woman who may or may not be scamming him and, in New York, Mila Kunis is a mess but trying to get custody of her son from Mr. Meany, James Franco.  How these stories connect will be your mission for over two hours, if you care to stick around that long. 

 

Director/writer Paul Haggis won an Academy Award for "Crash" in 2005, and this is more of the same formula: seemingly disparate stories that will come together somehow in the end. Haggis likes this formula and to drop a bomb at the end, which he does, but he defeats himself because that bomb kind of ruins the whole 135 minutes you just spent watching this film.  It's one of those films that makes you go "Huh?"

 

Haggis has said in press releases that the title is symbolic of the "third person" that exists in every relationship.  I am not sure this is borne out in the film, but it definitely relates to the twist, which as the film progresses you might be able to figure out, though Haggis does not provide any clues.  He just drops the bomb.

 

A big stellar cast, glamorous locations, and lots of money thrown at this film, and Haggis is a serious filmmaker, but ultimately it doesn't add up to much.  I love Neesom and the other actors are fine, but they don't have much to work with.  The characters are shallow and detached, much as the title implies

 

Rosy the Reviewer says...I liked "Crash," but I didn't need to see it again in a lesser version.



Breathe In (2013)

 

 

This is what happens when you invite a pretty exchange student from the UK into your home. 

 

Guy Pierce plays, Keith, a music teacher who really wants to play his cello with the New York Symphony.  He and his wife have been married for over 20 years, but are clearly not on the same page.  He tries to share some music with her.  She puts on the headphones and her first comment is that it's too loud.  She calls his being a sub at the symphony a hobby; he corrects her - it's a part-time job.  She collects cookie jars.

 

Enter Sophie (Felicity Jones) as a sensitive exchange student who plays divine piano and you have a recipe for disaster.

 

This is not the edgy Guy Pierce in "Memento."  This is the gaunt, sweaty, pervy Guy Pierce.  Amy Ryan plays his thin-lipped wife, Megan, and she is smarmy and cold. Mackenzie Davis is their daughter, Lauren, who shares her room with their exchange student and comes to wish she hadn't. 

 

As Keith becomes more and more interested in Sophie and she him, you begin thinking about calling Child Protective Services.  Jones looks so young compared to Pierce, it's an uncomfortable romance.

 

This is a portrait of a family where everyone "breathes in," as in holding it in and no one "breathes out," shares what they really feel or tells the truth, which could have been an interesting story to tell but in the end, there is no substance here.

 

There is an almost improvisational quality to the interactions, especially early in the film when the three family members are interacting which adds to the realism, but it's not enough to save a story that really doesn't have much going for it.  And it's just too excruciatingly pervy.

 

Rosy the Reviewer says...love Felicity Jones, love Guy Pierce, hated this movie.

"My 1001 Movies I Must See Before I Die Project"

 

310 Movies to go! 

 

 

Sons of the Desert (1933)

 

Laurel and Hardy want to attend their Sons of the Desert convention but their wives say no.

Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy were a comedy duo, Laurel a thin, English child-like character and Oliver, a pompous heavy-set American and together they were a popular team from the 1920's through the 1940's. 

In this film, their fourth full-length feature, Laurel and Hardy want to attend the Sons of the Desert convention in Hawaii.  The Sons of the Desert is a fraternal organization they belong to.  Their wives say no so we spend the next 60+ minutes watching them try to foil their wives.  They think they have a plan, but in slapstick comedy, you know how that turns out.

It's all very politically incorrect stuff by today's standards.  Lots of domestic violence (the women abusing the men), nagging and domineering wives and the men scared of their wives so they have to sneak around so their wives won't find out what they are up to.  When the wives do find out, it's hell to pay.

Today a wife hitting her husband over the head with a vase is not considered funny, nor, in my view is eating waxed fruit or sneaking a drink or cigarette behind the wife's back. This sort of comedy wasn't my cup of tea 60 years ago, and it's not my cup of tea today, but if you are a student of film, you at least need to know what these two were all about.  Their comedy influences can be seen in later TV classics such as "I Love Lucy" and "The Jackie Gleason Show."

Rosy the Reviewer says...before you die, you need to know who Laurel and Hardy were and this was considered their best feature film.

 

Thirty Two Short Films About Glenn Gould (1993)

 

 

 

 

Thirty-two brilliant little vignettes illustrate the life of this eccentric concert pianist.

 

Glenn Gould was a Canadian concert pianist best known for his interpretations of Bach.  He quit performing at the age of 32 and became a recluse but still made some acclaimed recordings, hosted experimental radio programs, made a fortune in the commodities market and indulged in bizarre late-night phone calls until his death at age 50.  Gould was so renowned that his recording of a Bach prelude was included in the Voyager spacecraft.

 

This is a documentary that effectively, and sometimes humorously, uses dramatized scenes (Colm Feore plays Gould), animation and Gould's gorgeous music to tell his story.

 

Rosy the Reviewer says...if you love classical piano and innovative film-making, you will love this film.  This is definitely a must before you die.

 

***Book of the Week***

 

Brief Encounters: Conversations, Magic Moments and Assorted Hijinks by Dick Cavett (Publication date: October 28, 2014)

 

 

 

TV talk show host Cavett reminiscences about funny and poignant moments from his life and career as a talk show host.

In the late 60's to mid-70's "The Dick Cavett Show" was a late night TV destination, and Cavett has been a presence on television ever since.  He was known as the smart, in-depth interviewer who enjoyed a pun or two.  He could be pompous and he didn't take any guff from his guests either.  There is a famous story about a show in 1971 with Norman Mailer and Gore Vidal.  Mailer and Vidal were not fans of each other.  Mailer was drunk, belligerent and trading insults with Vidal when Vidal finally said to Cavett,"Why don't you look at your question sheet and ask your question?" to which Cavett responded "Why don't you fold it 5 ways and put it where the moon don't shine?"

 

He shares anecdotes about Arthur Godfrey and Art Linkletter, TV personalities mostly forgotten today, as well as more well-known people such as Groucho Marx, John Lennon, Jerry Lewis, Muhammad Ali and others, stories many of which are taken from his opinion column that he writes for The New York Times.

Verdict: If you like Dick Cavett's kind of wit and you are old enough to remember some of the people he talks about, you will enjoy this.

 

***My A-HA! Moment of the Week***

I have just discovered "The Wendy Williams Show."  Who Knew?

 

The show is basically Wendy talking about TV reality shows, celebrity gossip, Lifetime Movies and what's happening in pop culture, and you know me, I'm in heaven.  And Wendy is a hoot.  She calls it as she sees it.  Just like me!

 

 

Thanks for Reading!

 

 

See you Tuesday

for

"Why I Love My Library"

 

        

 

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Check your local library for DVDs and books mentioned.

Note:  Next time you are wondering whether or not to watch a particular film, check out my reviews on IMDB (The International Movie Database). 

Here is a quick link to get to all of them.  Choose the film you are interested in and then scroll down the list of reviewers to find "Rosy the Reviewer."
 

Or you can go directly to IMDB.  

Find the page for the movie, click on "Explore More" on the right side panel and then scroll down to "External Reviews."  Look for "Rosy the Reviewer" on the list. Or if you are using a mobile device, look for "Critics Reviews." Click on that and you will find me alphabetically under "Rosy the Reviewer."

Welcome to Sweden - My Swedish Genealogy

Over the summer, I ran into a little TV sitcom called "Welcome to Sweden." 

It starred Gregg Poehler (Amy's brother) and humorously documented his real life story of moving to Sweden with his Swedish girlfriend.  It's your classic "fish out of water" story of an American trying to fit into another culture without making too much of an ass out of himself.  (Amy Poehler was the executive producer and made some cameo appearances. Originally broadcast in Sweden in March 2014, it made it's way over here a few months later and has been renewed for another season).

Since I have Swedish roots and have been to Sweden a few times, it was a fun show for me.  According to my Swedish cousin, not so much for those in Sweden. 

Despite some stereotypes, I enjoyed thinking about my times in Sweden and my Swedish relatives and realized that I knew a great deal about my Dad's side of the family, but not so much about my mother's side, the Swedish side.

My father was an only child and his family can be traced back to the early settlers of the United States and the Revolutionary War.  His family had been Americans for generations. His grandfather and great-grandfather were wealthy Michigan pioneers, and it is all documented in a great bit fat genealogy book.

My mother's parents, on the other hand, were immigrants from Sweden and my mother was a first generation American.  The documentation is not as easy.

I know a great deal about my grandparents on my Dad's side because, as I said, the history of that family is documented, and it didn't hurt that they lived across the street for almost all of my growing up years.  If I had a question, I could ask them.  But unfortunately, when you are young, you don't usually care that much about your family's history so many questions were never asked.

I know even less about my mother's parents partly because they came from Sweden and partly because my grandfather died before I was born and my grandmother died when I was five.  Despite my mother growing up in a large family, and they all lived in the same town, I didn't know much about them. I was born to my own parents late in their lives too, they were both 40, so I was 10-20 years younger than my first cousins.  Nobody paid much attention to me, except as you would a little child, so I guess I missed out on all of the family gossip. 

But I did know that my mother was in touch with some of her Swedish relatives.  She corresponded in Swedish, despite always telling me she didn't know much Swedish and wished she did.  She would tell the story that she didn't want her mother and Dad to speak Swedish to her because she was an American and it embarrassed her.  See, no matter what generation you are in, your parents are a source of embarrassment!

So I have always felt out of the loop when it came to my Mother's side of the family and I have always wanted to know more.

I have gleaned what I could from Ancestry.com (free at many libraries) and eventually finding out more from my Swedish relatives in person (more about that later).  However, I am hindered by the fact that my grandfather and grandmother both had fairly common Swedish names and immigrated during a busy time for Swedish folks.

Here is what I think I know...

My grandfather, August Johnson, was born in Sweden in around 1859 - the birth date varies from 1858-1860 depending on the source. 

Now that blows my mind right there. 

This is my GRANDFATHER.  Not my Great Grandfather or Great-great grandfather.  My GRANDFATHER.  My mother's Dad.

And he was born before the end of the Civil War!

Here I am alive in the 21st century and my own grandfather was born in the 19th century. That's what happens when people have children late in life over and over.  My mother was the second youngest of seven and August was already in his late 40's by then and then my mother having me when she was 40 basically skipped a generation.  There was already almost 100 years between the birth of my grandfather and my birth.  And interestingly, I also had my children late in life so my parents were 72 when my first child was born, once again creating that huge generation gap.  There is 121 years between the birth of my grandfather and the birth of my first child.

August immigrated to the U.S. in 1880, and I think he settled first in Chicago, where he met my grandmother, Jennie. 

My grandmother, Jennie, was born in Sweden in 1869 or 70 and came to the U.S. in 1888.  She was just 18.

What brought them both to the U.S. is unknown, but Jennie did go back to Sweden for a time.  My cousin said her grandmother told her that Jennie had come back to Sweden and tried to get her to go back to the U.S. with her, but her father wouldn't let her leave.  My cousin's grandmother was my mother's first cousin, which would make her grandmother my grandmother's niece (I think). I kid my cousin about how that would have changed her history had that happened! 

At any rate, there was a huge Swedish migration in the late 1800's, especially from Smaland, an area that was difficult to farm because of the rocky nature of the soil. So many came from this area, that once when we were getting off the train there to visit my cousin, a Swedish gentleman said, "Americans?"  And we replied, "How did you know?"  He said "So many Americans get off the train here because this is where their Swedish relatives came from."

But in general, young Swedish men and women came to the U.S. in the late 1800's because of cheap farmland in the Midwest and good paying jobs in the big cities, especially Chicago. 

Jennie and August married around 1898 and somehow ended up in Michigan.  I would love to know more.  I wish they would do my mother's family on "Who Do You Think You Are?" 

Anyway, August was a carpenter and together they had seven children.  He was such a good carpenter, that he was called "Prince" in the Swedish community.

My mother is the youngest girl in the picture sitting in the middle with the bow (that's a boy on August's lap).

They all lived and died in the same town.  August died in 1942 before I was born and Jennie sometime in the early 50's.  They both became U.S. citizens.

My Mom and Dad met in high school - my Dad an only child with deep American roots - my mother one of seven children, a first generation American.  I see trouble brewing, but they were married for the rest of their lives, almost 60 years.

 

My mother is the one with the chic haircut on the right.

My mother traveled to Sweden all by herself when she was in her late 50's or early 60's (my Dad rarely traveled). I'm not sure of the dates because I was in my selfish period - my twenties - didn't care what my Mom was doing.  But I guess she figured it was now or never. She had never been overseas before.  She met all of the living relatives, one of whom was her cousin's granddaughter, Jane. Jane was a young girl with a desire to go to the U.S. so a few years later, she contacted my mother and asked to visit.  I didn't meet Jane, because I was living in San Francisco at the time.  My dates are a bit fuzzy, but I remember talking to Jane on the phone while I lived there.

With being half Swedish, I was happy that my son showed an interest in Sweden and wanted to go there to study for a semester when he was in college.  Though I had never met Jane and it had been years since she had stayed with my parents, I wanted my son to meet his Swedish relatives and to have a local contact, so I tried to find her.  I am not sure why my mother and sister couldn't point me directly to her, but I remember sending an email and saying, "Are you the Jane who stayed with my parents?"  And she was.

Thus began a long and wonderful friendship.

Our son was going to study at Lund University, near Malmo.

Lund University

We flew into Copenhagen and crossed the very new Malmo Bridge into Sweden.

Jane and her partner, Lars (who is now her husband), traveled down to Malmo to meet us for the first time.  While our son was there, she introduced him to all of the relatives, entertained him in Stockholm and when he was injured in Prague (long story), she looked after him.  It was so comforting to know there was family there if he needed someone.

Especially since he joined what was the equivalent of an American fraternity - called Nations in Sweden.  I don't even want to know what went on!

We went back to Sweden three more times and each time had wonderful visits with Jane, Lars, and the other relatives.



We also visited the Ice Bar in Stockholm...

and the Kingdom of Crystal

and had some cheap laughs.

The second time we went to Sweden, we flew directly to Stockholm and arrived at Midsummer and here is a travel tip. 

Don't go to Stockholm in Midsummer if you want to mingle with the locals. 

It's like Paris in August.  They aren't there. 

There was nobody around but us!

They are off in the country enjoying summer.  So as they say, "When in Rome..," er, "When in Stockholm, do as the Stockholmers do..."  We went in search of them and found many of them in Skansen, an island retreat decked out as "Old Sweden." 

And we joined in, yelling "Hey Ho" as they raised the maypole.

Hey Ho!

Hey Ho!

Hey Ho!

And, of course, we needed to dress appropriately.

Hey, it's Midsummer!

The house where my grandmother was born still stands and belongs to the family and we have been there a couple of times. 

 

The relatives like to relate the story of Alex finding out for the first time that there was no toilet inside the house.  It was in the outhouse.  This is quite common for the "summer houses" in this part of Sweden (the family now uses the house as a "summer house"), because the ground is so rocky, trying to put in plumbing would be prohibitive.  But they also seem to enjoy "roughing it," so to speak - it's like camping out, living like the old days.

The dark building is the outhouse.

So the last time we visited, we once again went to the "summer house."

Jane gathered everyone together. We played the Swedish game Kubb,

and had a lovely lunch. 

This last time we were there, I would guess I was about my mother's age the first time she visited. I could hardly believe I was sitting in the house where my Swedish grandmother was born and lived and where my mother and my son met their Swedish relatives for the first time. 

Here I sit in this house with my Swedish relatives 142 years after my grandmother was born in this house.  

Can you imagine the feeling?

My parents were 72 when my son was born and 77 when my daughter was born, so I was fortunate that both of them lived long enough that my children remember them.  They were able to spend a couple of summers with them. 

One summer when my daughter was quite young, she spent some time there alone as our son was playing baseball that summer.

My mother belonged to Vasa, a Swedish-American group, and my daughter was able to get a little taste of Sweden at their version of Midsummer, dancing around the Maypole.

Four generations of Swedish women spanning across three centuries.

Can you imagine the feeling?

 

Thanks for Reading.

See you Friday

 

for

 

"Gone Girl"

 

and

 

The Week in Reviews

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