What If I Was a "Real Housewife?"

I was watching "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" Sunday night, and I started wondering about why the "Housewives" franchise was so popular and why I liked to watch it.

If you have been reading my blog, you know that I like reality TV.  

I am not ashamed to admit it. I even wrote a whole blog post about that once, "Reality TV, A Primer."  I listed my favorites, why they were good TV and what you could learn (yes, you can actually learn something from some reality TV shows - how to be naked and afraid or race around the world or cut up a chicken in 60 seconds or less). 

Here is what I said about "The Housewives" in that blog post.

"Why is it good reality?

Because watching other people live out their dramas while I am drinking a glass of wine with my feet up is very relaxing.

What you will learn:  that you are truly addicted."

And I guess I am.  I look back on earlier posts and see that I have not only written about television quite a bit, very early on I also wrote about the "Housewives."  But I guess I have more to say.

I know people who not only turn their noses up at these kinds of shows, but at television in general. But I also know, that people who consider themselves intellectuals of a sort (and I am one) are watching.

Here is an article in "Psychology Today" that is a case in point:

"Why We Can't Stop Watching The Real Housewives." 

"A survey of over 200 people by my Psychology Today colleague Steven Reiss, found that people with intellectual interests were equally as likely to watch reality TV as those without an intellectual bent."

See, you other intellectuals?  You can come out of the closet now.

The article ends with...

"And what about the transformation of the term “Housewife” from it’s mid-19^th century focus on domesticity and running the household, to a term synonymous with “girlfriend” or “posse member?”  Whether married or single, a mother or childless, rich or poor, working mom or stay at home spouse, friend or enemy, all the women are known as “Housewives.” And there’s something refreshingly unifying, and transformational about that!"

So somehow vindicated and feeling less guilty, I took it one step further.

Why isn't there a Housewives franchise for us "over the hill gang," us retired folks?

What if I was a "Real Housewife" on a show like that?

What kind of a "Housewife" would I be?

From my many years of watching, er, studying the Housewives, I have broken  down the criteria for being a housewife into 5 characteristics:

First, to be a "Real Housewife," you need a tagline.

At the beginning of every show, each Housewife introduces herself with one sentence to describe herself, known in the biz as a tagline e.g.

Lisa Vanderpump - Beverly Hills - Season 2:
"Life in Beverly Hills is a game, and I make the rules."

Kenya Moore - Atlanta - Season 5: 
"I won Miss USA, not Miss Congeniality."

Nene Leakes - Atlanta - Seasons 1 & 2:
"I don't keep up with the Joneses, I AM the Joneses."

Dina Manzo - New Jersey - Seasons 1 & 2:
"If you think I'm a bitch, then bring it on!"

Tamra Barney - Orange County - Season 5: 
"Housewives come younger but they don't come hotter."




You get the idea.



So if I was a retired housewife, this would be my tagline:

 

 "I may be a lady of leisure, but I won't take anything lying down."

How's that?


Second, to be a housewife, you need to create conflict by being a meddling mother, sister or friend or HAVE a meddling mother, sister or friend or a bone to pick with someone ALL OF THE TIME.

I guess I have done my fair share of meddling in my life.  Bone picking, not so much except with Hubby and the kids, but my bone picking days are over. I promise.

Third, you have to be a skinny bitch.
I could probably qualify for the bitch part, but we women of a certain age have decided to save our faces instead of our butts.

Fourth, money or a peripheral connection to fame.
Well, I DO have a pension and I have high fived a Beatle (Ringo) and had my picture taken with Andie McDowell.  Does that count?

Finally, a real housewife must have a point of view.
No problem there.

It's fun to imagine the glamour of being a "Real Housewife," wearing designer gowns, looking fabulous as the camera follows me around on expensive shopping sprees and to parties full of celebrities, but I would guess that the "Real Retired Housewives of Seattle" won't be happening anytime soon.

And much as I love reality TV, I know there is nothing "real" about the "Real Housewives."  My daughter ran a high-end swimsuit shop in Atlanta a few years ago and a couple of the housewives came in and were filmed there.  My daughter told me how the producer set up the shot by telling the housewives what they were going to talk about. I can't say I was that surprised about the lack of spontaneity, but it did burst my bubble a bit.

So we know that the "Housewives" are not really "real."

But what IS a real housewife, something all of us ordinary women can aspire to?

Here is what I think.

The word "real" is defined as "actually existing as a thing or occurring in fact, not imagined or supposed. (of a substance or thing), not imitation or artificial, genuine."

This last weekend, this retired housewife decorated two Christmas trees and the rest of the house, watched a movie or two (we were snowed in), exercised, texted and talked to our grown children.  Today (still snowed in), I wrote this blog, texted my daughter, talked to my son, exercised, watched some TV and enjoyed a glass of wine with the wine guzzling poodle while enjoying the fruits of my weekend labor. 

 

Oh, and I spent time with Hubby.

Tomorrow I plan to brave the elements, go to the gym, go to a movie, run errands, cook dinner and hang out with Hubby. 

Such is the life of a Real Housewife (retired).

We can vicariously enjoy the drama and glamour of the TV show as we sit in our real homes with our real husbands or our real families or our real friends.

But as defined in the "Psychology Today" article I mentioned, we women are all "housewives," regardless of our age, our marital status, our wealth or whether we work outside the home or not.

A real housewife is real: she actually exists, she is genuine.

She is a girlfriend; she is in our posse.

She is a real loving wife to her husband (if she has one) or significant other.

She is a real loving mother to her kids (if she has them).

She is a successful career woman.

She is a real friend (I hope she has some).

And she is real and loving to herself.

We are the Real Housewives.

 

Thanks for reading!

 

See you Friday

 

for my review of

 

"The Hunger Games: Mockingjay-Part I,"

 

"The Week in Reviews"

and the latest on my

 

"1001 Movies I Must See Before I Die Project."

 

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to click on the share buttons to share it on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and LinkedIn, email it to your friends and LIKE me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/rosythereviewer

 

  

"The Theory of Everything" and The Week in Reviews

[I review the new movie "The Theory of Everything," the DVDs "The Knights of Badassdom" and "A Most Wanted Man," and the novel (yes, a novel) "Leaving Time" by Jodi Picoult plus I get you caught up on my "1001 Movies I Must See Before I Die Project."]




The Theory of Everything

 

The story of Stephen Hawking's first marriage.

 

When Stephen Hawking was a young man working toward his Ph.d. in Physics at Cambridge University, he was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease (ALS) and given two years to live.  Since then he as become famous worldwide for his theories and his book "A Brief History of Time,"a huge worldwide best seller.  He is now 72. 

 

The movie begins in the early 1960's as Stephen is beginning his Ph.d. program.  He is a bit of a smart ass, but he is also a wunderkind in his field. He wins his doctorate applying space-time singularity in black holes to the whole universe, and when asked by the panel what he plans to do next, he replies that he hopes to find an elegant equation that will prove the theory of everything.

 

Soon, however, symptoms of what will turn out to be Lou Gehrig's disease begin to appear and he is given two years to live.  He has also met Jane and they are in love, so despite a death sentence, they decide to get married and Jane decides she will do whatever she has to do to keep him alive.  They have three children together (when a friend wonders about their sex life, Hawking jokes about how that function falls under a different system from the one destroying his other functions), but the strain of caring for Hawking starts to take a toll on Jane and she is drawn to a handsome local vicar.

 

This is not just Stephen Hawking's story, it's his first wife, Jane's story and the story of a marriage, based on Jane's recent book, "Travelling to Infinity: The True Story Behind The Theory of Everything (2014)."

I predict Eddie Redmayne will win an Oscar for Best Actor for his incredible performance as Hawking.  He did an amazing job showing the slow progression of Hawking's disease and capturing the man in the full force of his disease, yet maintaining his sense of humor.  I have been a huge fan of Eddie's ever since "Birdsong," and he deserves recognition.

Felicity Jones is luminous and lovely as Jane.  I am waiting for her to break out and carry a film on her own.

It's funny that "Interstellar" and this movie were released so close together since they are both about quantum physics.  But as a film, this one is closer to "My Left Foot," and "A Beautiful Mind."

Rosy the Reviewer says...as the Brits say, bloody brilliant.  As I say, brilliant, brilliant, brilliant.

***DVDS***

You Might Have Missed

(And Some You Will Be Glad You Did)

 

 

Knights of Badassdom  (2013)

 

LARPS (Live Action Role Players) conjure up some demons from hell -- real ones!

Peter Dinklage and Steve Zahn play Hung and Eric, medieval role players. They have gotten their friend Joe, whose love life is in shambles, drunk and kidnapped him to their role playing festival in hopes of cheering him up. Eric, playing a wizard, uses a spell book to initiate Joe. What Eric doesn't realize is that the spell book is real and his spell conjures up a succubus and a monstrous demon.

This is part comedy, part horror film. The comic blood and gore is reminiscent of Simon Pegg's "Shaun of the Dead" and "World's End."  I loved the Simon Pegg films and I liked this one.

I will probably take some heat for giving this little film a good review when I didn't give a very good one to "Interstellar," especially since this film almost didn't get released. But, as "Interstellar" showed us, it's a matter of relativity.  And relatively speaking, this is a better comedy than "Interstellar" was a scifi drama.  I thought this film was silly and fun.  How can you not get the irony of Peter Dinklage pretending to be a medieval guy?  And a bunch of nerdy Dungeons and Dragons types running around in the woods fighting a succubus and a monster?  Skewing LARPS?  What's not to like?
 

Rosy the Reviewer says...if you like Simon Pegg's films or horror/comedy, you will like this one.





A Most Wanted Man (2014)

An illegal Chechen immigrant to Hamburg seeking political asylum becomes the focus of an anti-terrorist group that is still being blamed for failing to stop the 9/11 terrorists who were working out of Hamburg.

A half-Russian, half-Chechen man, Issa Karpov (Grigoriy Dobrygin) mysteriously turns up in Hamburg seeking asylum.  He has also come to take possession of his inheritance, millions of euros. He is aided by Annabelle Richter (Rachel McAdams), a human rights lawyer who tries to help him. However, anti-terrorist groups still smarting from 9/11 are also interested in him and his inheritance.  Is he who he says he is?  Or is he a terrorist who wants to use his money to fund terrorist activities?

Based on a John LeCarre novel, this film has all of the LeCarre touches.  His spies are not James Bond types. His stories don't contain a lot of action.  They are character driven and his spies are world weary seen-it-all types.  Even the cinematography and set design is dark and gritty.  This is not pretty Germany.  This is tough, dangerous and dark Germany. 

What makes this film significant is that it was Philip Seymour Hoffman's last starring role before his untimely death.  He plays Gunter Bachmann, a weary, rumpled spy more in the Colombo mode than James Bond.  For a man in his early 40's, Hoffman looked like he was almost 60, which suited the role but didn't bode well for what happened to him in real life.  But Hoffman is one of those actors who never seems to be acting.  And here he inhabits the role of the leader of a spy team who must prove themselves.

My one criticism of Hoffman is his German accent, which isn't very good.  I can never understand why actors use accented English to show us they are in another country.  We know it's Germany, we know people speak German there so get rid of the silly accent.

Robin Wright is good as a rather dodgy CIA agent, Margaret Sullivan, who is also interested in the immigrant. My one problem with Wright is the short black wig she chose to wear.  Why?  Not a good look for her.  But her scenes with Hoffman shine.

Rachel McAdams is a gorgeous actress, a modern day Natalie Wood.  Willem Dafoe does his usual good work playing the banker Issa and Annabelle are working with. He's not a bad guy for once despite, the fur collar on his coat which I always think indicates a bad guy.

I have always had trouble with spy films.  They are always so convoluted and detailed that if your mind wanders for a minute trying to get that last piece of popcorn, you miss something important.  This one isn't as bad as most but still, the plot can be hard to follow and it drags.

Rosy the Reviewer says...this film is all about the performances.  Anyone looking for a Tom Cruise "Mission Impossible" style spy film will be disappointed.  This is more like "The Spy Who Came In From The Cold."

 

***My 1001 Movies I Must See Before I Die Project***

 

297 To Go!

I want to preface these reviews this week by saying, it takes discipline to watch movies I probably would never watch had I not decided to embark on this project.  It is sometimes exhausting!


Man of the West (1958)

 

 

A reformed bank robber finds himself drawn back into his old gang (think a Western version of "Godfather III."
"Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in." ) 

 

Why it's a Must See: "After making a series of exemplary Westerns starring James Stewart during the 1950's, Anthony Mann cast an aging Gary Cooper as a man forced to confront a past he thought he had left behind him.  As is usual in Mann's Westerns, personal history exerts a grip on the characters that only death can loosen...Mann's camerawork is as assured as ever.  Make sure you see this film in the full CinemaScope ratio!"

---"1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die"

 

I think I can actually do a better job of explaining why this film is a must see, and I don't even like Westerns.

 

The cinematography is gorgeous (filmed in Cinemascope and color by Deluxe) and so is Gary Cooper.  Even though  he was in the latter part of his life, he was still a handsome hunk of a tall drink of water.  He reminded me of today's Liam Neeson.

Julie London, a pop singer of the time (remember "Cry Me A River?") does an admirable job and adds a bit of sex appeal. She had a fairly successful TV career as an actress, but her movie career never took off.  This was one of her last big roles in the movies. 

It's ironic that Gary Cooper became such a huge Western hero known for his laconic characterizations.  In real life, he was an erudite, dapper ladies man with a taste for bespoke suits.

This is one of those films where the soundtrack plays constantly and highlights everything that happens - happy music for the comedy aspects, dramatic crescendos for conflict and anger - so that the viewers will know how they are supposed to feel.  That aspect dates this film a bit.

However, unlike earlier films, this was an adult Western that tried to bring the Western into the modern world.  I don't even like Westerns and would never have chosen it "off the shelf," but I liked this film.

 

Rosy the Reviewer says...an adult Western that even people who don't like Westerns will like.



The Bank Dick (1940)

Egbert Sousè (W.C. Fields), a habitue of the corner bar to escape his nagging wife and unpleasant family, through a series of events,  finds unlikely jobs as a film director and then a bank guard. 

Egbert becomes a bank guard when he unwittingly foils a bank robbery and through a series of other gags becomes rich and reformed.

Why it's a Must See: "Fields was a rare comedian who could be funny while strangling a small child, and this seventy-five minute gem is among his masterpieces."
---"1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die"

This film shows how comedy has evolved. The running joke is his name, of course, since everyone pronounces it "sowse," as in a drunk, but they are corrected by Egbert - "Soosay, accent grave over the e."  He is a bumbling drunk, of course, because Fields made a career out of that characterization.  Not politically correct these days.  Likewise, his daughter hitting him over the head, him threatening her, pratfalls, black stereotypes and other violent acts that were considered funny back in the early days of film are now not so funny. 

I was never much of a Fields fan.  This kind of cartoon comedy was never my cup of tea even when I was a kid.  Don't like slapstick, don't like schtick.  But if you were a Fields or Three Stooges fan, you would probably think this was funny.  Shemp Howard is even in it.

Rosy the Reviewer says...This is 75 minutes I could have lived doing something else before I died.

***Book of the Week***

 

Leaving Time: A Novel by Jodi Picoult (2014)

 

Alice Metcalf was a scientist investigating elephants and whether or not they experience grief.  She mysteriously disappeared and for over ten years, her daughter Jenna has been trying to discover why and what happened. She commissions a jaded private detective, Virgil Stanhope and a discredited psychic, Serenity Jones, to help her find the answers.

This is a Rashomon style story that flips back and forth from the perspectives of Jenna, Virgil, Serenity and Alice's journals.

This is prolific novelist, Jodi Picoult's latest effort and it's a well-written mystery with the poignant human element of the mother and daughter and poignant animal element with Alice's elephant research. 

Yikes.  I am actually reviewing a novel.  So fiction lovers, do not give up on me thinking I will only be reviewing nonfiction.  I am expanding my horizons so if you keep coming back, you can expect a novel every month or so, deal?

Rosy the Reviewer says...This is a page turner, and if you like Anita Shreve or Sue Miller, and if you like a moving stories of mothers and daughters you will like this book.

 

 

Thanks for Reading!

 

That's it for this week.

 

See you Tuesday for

"What if I Was a Real Housewife?" 

 

 

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to click on the share buttons to share it on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and LinkedIn, 
email it to your friends and
LIKE me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/rosythereviewer.

Check your local library for DVDs and books mentioned.

 

Note:  Next time you are wondering whether or not to watch a particular film, check out my reviews on IMDB (The International Movie Database). 

 

 

Here is a quick link to get to all of them.  Choose the film you are interested in and then scroll down the list of reviewers to find "Rosy the Reviewer."
 

Or you can go directly to IMDB.  

 

Find the page for the movie, click on "Explore More" on the right side panel and then scroll down to "External Reviews."  Look for "Rosy the Reviewer" on the list. Or if you are using a mobile device, look for "Critics Reviews." Click on that and you will find me alphabetically under "Rosy the Reviewer."

 

What I'm Grateful For

Thanksgiving is the time of year when we contemplate what we are grateful for, right?

Here is what I am grateful for:

• Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, 
• Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens,
• Brown paper packages tied up with strings, 
• Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels, 
• Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles, 
• Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings, 
• Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes, 
• Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes, 
• Silver white winters that melt into springs

Just kidding.  I stole that from "The Sound of Music."

So I guess the first thing I am grateful for is my strange sense of humor. 

At least, after all of these years, I still have one.

But seriously, it's important to take the time to be grateful for what we have.

I used to threaten, I mean, tell my children we were going to spend Thanksgiving volunteering at a homeless shelter, serving food to people less fortunate, so my kids would appreciate what they had.  I never followed up on that but scores of others have and do.  In fact homeless shelters report huge numbers of volunteers doing just that on Thanksgiving and for many families, this is an annual volunteer activity for them.  But what we don't often hear from the homeless shelters is that they wish people would volunteer other times during the year. That's when they are needed most.

The same goes for gratitude. 

It's not enough to think about what we are grateful for just once a year.  Gratitude is something we need to embrace every day of the year.  Gratitude is something that must be practiced or we take for granted much of what we have.

Recently the power went off and I couldn't believe how helpless I felt.  Sure we had candles and flashlights so I could have read a book or, heaven forbid, talk to Hubby, but the thought that not only could I not watch TV, my TIVO wasn't  taping my shows!  I was going to miss the latest installment of "The Housewives."  Worse, I couldn't check Facebook or my email.  I was cut off from my social network!  I couldn't tweet, I couldn't Facetime or Skype.  It was sobering.  Well, not exactly.  Wine doesn't need electricity.  But, now I wake up every morning and say thank you to the electricity gods.

One good thing about getting older is you eventually have the time to be grateful.  When we are in our twenties, we are too busy searching for a mate, in our thirties and forties too busy with our careers and children, in our fifties too busy getting rid of our mate and worrying about getting old and fat to be grateful for what we have. 

When we retire, we have the time to reflect and be grateful. 

So I have added that to my daily routine - to be grateful for at least three things every day, year round. 

But it's important to not wait until you are old to be grateful, because sometimes it's too late.

Thanksgiving naturally brings up all kinds of memories about family, for some of you happy memories, for some of you, maybe not so much.  I have happy memories of Thanksgiving with my family growing up, except I didn't like getting served last, as was the custom in my family - the oldest got served first (I was the youngest) - or having to do the dishes.  But what I should have been grateful for at the time was my Dad always saved the drumstick for me (which was my favorite) and he helped me with the dishes.

Thanksgiving 1966

So thinking about my parents this time of year, I am grateful that I was able to show appreciation to them for all they had done for me before they died.  I wish I had done more, though, and shown them more love. But that is the natural cycle of things.  

What I have learned since becoming a parent myself is beautifully expressed in the book "Life Gets Better:  The Unexpected Pleasures of Growing Old" by Wendy Lustbader. 

"We realize how helpless our parents had been during our youthful experimentation -- how they tried to warn us against foolish choices, how our petulance silenced them, how they thought of little else when we were off taking those risks without thinking about them at all. Parenting has never been fair.  We love our children far more than they love us, and in doing so we realize how dearly we were loved by our parents."

I had never really thought of it that way but it explains a lot.

So I am thinking of my parents today as I write this, grateful that I at least in some way thanked them for their love and support and then passed that on by loving my own children as they did me.





In addition to that, I am grateful for the usual things:  Waking up in the morning alive and well, Hubby, my kids, my grandkids, my friends, my career, a roof over my head, I still have my own teeth...

But another reason to be grateful every day and a perk of old age is the ability to be grateful for the little things.

So today I am grateful for:

The wine-guzzling poodle who shows love to me every day (I just need to help him with his drinking problem)

A day off once a week

---Hubby says every day is a day off for me, because I am retired, but that's not true.  I am really busy most of the time:  keeping up with my "1001 Movies I Must See Before I Die Project," writing this blog, meditating, volunteering, going to the gym, arranging my shoe collection, watching "The View."  I am grateful for one day a week where I can just let life take me where it leads.  Most often it leads me to the TV, but that's not the point.


My blog and those of you who enjoy it.
---I have realized I am a communicator and for good or ill, I'm going to communicate, dammit!


My feet. I have nice feet.  Feet don't get fat.

A nice glass of wine (or two) by a crackling fire after a hard day of retirement


My friends, old and new


Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens...

Like I said, it's the little things.

What are you grateful for?

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Thanks for reading!

See you Friday

for my review of the new movie

"The Theory of Everything,"

My Week in Reviews,

and the latest on my

"1001 Movies I Must See Before I Die Project."

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to click on the share buttons to share it on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and LinkedIn, email it to your friends and LIKE me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/rosythereviewer