Friday, September 2, 2016

"Hell or High Water" and The Week in Reviews

[I review the new movie "Hell or High Water" as well as DVDs "Dark Horse" and "Miss You Already."  The Book of the Week is a novel (I told you I was expanding my reading horizons!) "The Kitchens of the Great Midwest."  I also bring you up-to-date with "My 1001 Movies I Must See Before I Die" with "The Naked Spur."]




Hell or High Water


Two brothers resort to robbing banks to save the family farm.  It's a classic plot elevated by great acting and direction and a multi-layered script.

West Texas has been hit hard by the economy and by those damn banks. With the death of their mother, divorced dad Toby Howard (Chris Pine) and his ex-con brother Tanner Howard (Ben Foster) are on their own.  Their mother has left the family farm to Toby but slight problem.  She had fallen victim to the bank during the economic bubble and gotten herself into a bad reverse mortgage. The farm is about to be foreclosed on in about a week, and Toby needs over $40,000 to save the farm.  He feels like a bit of a screw-up in life, but the one good thing he wants to do is save the farm for his sons. Turns out the farm is worth far more than what Toby owes because oil has been discovered there. 

Toby enlists Tanner to help him get the money by robbing branches of the very bank that scammed their mother.  They are going to steal just enough money to save the farm and come hell or high water, Toby is going to get that money to the bank in time to pay off the mortgage and get the farm back. Toby has figured out a good plan - rob small bank branches with few people around, steal only loose bills to avoid dye packs, wear masks and bury each car they use in the robbery on the family farm so there is no trace.  Sounds like a plan. But, of course, things have to go terribly wrong.

For one thing, the brothers didn't expect a tenacious Texas Ranger, Marcus Hamilton (Jeff Bridges) to be enlisted by the local police.  Marcus is on the verge of retirement and is not particularly happy about it so he wants to solve this case - "come hell or high water" - before he retires.

Jeff Bridges is always a draw and can be counted on for a stellar performance, and he doesn't disappoint, though I became fixated on the prosthesis he was wearing in his mouth to make his character seem older.  It reminded me of the marbles Marlon Brando employed in his mouth to play "The Godfather."  And Chris Pine shows he has more going for him than his amazingly handsome face - he can act!  He also puts in a great performance.  But the one to watch is Ben Foster as Tanner.  He's been toiling on TV and in character roles until now, and I suspect his career will take off with this performance.  He's the screw-up kind of crazy brother with a possible death wish and combines a bit of crazy with a bit of sensitivity.  He is fascinating to watch.

Directed by David Mackenzie with a script by Taylor Sheridan, this film has many layers.  It's a Bonnie and Clyde kind of bank robber movie set in the vast wasteland that is modern West Texas, but it's also a film about the old way of life that no longer exists in the small rotting towns and farmlands of the United States because of the lack of opportunity and those unscrupulous banks. But it also mourns the old way of life in the West, when Native Americans owned their own land and farmers could make a living.  And it's also about old versus young.

Speaking of Native Americans, Marcus has a partner, Alberto (Gil Birmingham), who is part Native American and part Mexican, and the two have a close relationship, though Marcus loves to "tease" Alberto, by needling him about Indian and Mexican stereotypes.  Clearly Alberto doesn't care for these comments, but he gives as good as he gets by telling Marcus how glad he will be when he retires and how much he hopes he hates it.  I guess scriptwriter Sheridan was going for the kind of good-natured give and take relationship we like to see between two cop partners and to make a statement about the inherent racism that exists even in "good people," but I have to say some of the comments Marcus made to Alberto were cringe-worthy.

Giles Nuttgens' cinematography beautifully captures the dusty, poverty stricken land of the modern West, with its signs advertising debt relief and bible- thumping spiritual relief, and the score by Nick Cave and Warren Ellis hauntingly underlines it all.  

There was "The Big Short" which gave us a wonderful overview on how the banks bamboozled us, and then there was "99 Homes," which gave us a glimpse into the human side of all of that pain when many individuals lost their homes, but here it's all honed down to one man's story and how he got some measure of restitution.

And you know I have talked about this before - that I cry at the end of a really great movie whether or not it's sad.  I cry because I am so moved by really good filmmaking. I cried.

Rosy the Reviewer says...If you have been tired of all of the summer blockbusters and have been yearning for an adult drama that has something to say, this is for you.  And remember, I cried.  It's that good.





***Some Movies You Might Have Missed***
(And Some You Will Be Glad You Did)!

Now on DVD






Dark Horse (2015)


Welsh working class people form a syndicate to breed a horse and participate in "The Sport of Kings."

In a small coal mining community in Wales, Jan Vokes works in a pub.  One day, she overhears Mark Davis, a tax lawyer, talking about his unsuccessful foray into horse racing and, right then and there, she gets the idea that she wants to raise a race horse.  After all, her Dad raised budgies and racing pigeons and showed whippets.  How hard could it be? 

Jan knows that she doesn't have the money to buy and raise a racehorse, but what if she got her friends to all chip in?  She does, including Davis, whose dream it still was to get into horse racing, and they all form a syndicate. Everyone pledges 10 pounds per week and they set about finding their horse.  And mind you, they aren't going to buy a racehorse.  They are going to find a mare, breed her and the colt will be their horse. They do and "Dream Alliance" is born, an apt name for a horse born of an alliance of dreams.  Though at first he doesn't look like a typical race horse, they find a trainer and when Dream Alliance wins his first race, they start really believing in their dream. 

But that's just the beginning of the story.  Dream Alliance has his ups and downs.  He starts as a bit of a joke but becomes a serious contender when he wins The Perth Gold Cup.  But then at a preparatory race for the 2008 Grand National he is injured.  His injury is one where the horse is usually put down but Jan feels the money they had won is Dream's money so they use their winnings for stem cell surgery on Dream and guess what?  Well, you will just have to see the film to find out.

Written and directed by Louise Osmond, I would call this film a "dramatic documentary."  The story is compelling and unfolds like a feature film, but it also includes interviews with the main characters and real racing footage.  It's a story about class with working class people rubbing elbows with their richer counterparts, those you would expect in the pricey "Sport of Kings," but it's also a story of the love these people had for a horse and what he represented to them.  And it's a feminist story because without the will and fortitude of Jan Vokes, there would never have been a Dream Alliance.

Rosy the Reviewer says...this film is not just for those who love horses and horse-racing, it's for everyone who likes to feel good. It's the most human and uplifting movie I have seen in a long while.  Have some hankies handy.




Miss You Already (2015)


Two life-long girlfriends face life's ups and downs together.

Millie (Toni Collette) and Jess (Drew Barrymore) met as young girls in the 1980's in London when Jess's family moved from America to the U.K.  They were instant friends.  Millie was the ebullient bon vivant and the one who got married and had a kid first.  Jess was more centered. She also wanted to have a child, but so far had been unsuccessful. The women love each other, share everything and when they take leave of one another always say "Miss you already," hence the movie's title, though I swear I only heard them say it once.  Millie is the one with the perfect life so of course she is the one who has to get breast cancer.

Jess lives with her boyfriend, Jago (Paddy Considine), on a canal boat, and she is trying to get pregnant so we get to see how IVF works up close and personal.  I think Drew must have been pregnant for real during this film because she wears the most god awful sack dresses and baggie coats. I'm just sayin.'

We also see the ravages of cancer up close and personal as Millie navigates wig shopping, head shaving, the trauma of a mastectomy, the hospital stay (though this hospital looks more like a 5-star hotel) and Millie's husband (Dominic Cooper) and family trying to deal with this unexpected turn in their otherwise perfect lives. Millie's mother, Miranda, an almost unrecognizable Jacqueline Bisset with blond hair and possibly plastic surgery, is not in touch with reality, can't connect with her daughter and is no help whatsoever.

Millie and Jess decide to go to the moors because Millie is obsessed with "Wuthering Heights."  Why is it that whenever we have a film where someone is dying, we have to go on a road trip?  We saw it in "Me Before You" and again in "The Fundamentals of Caring."  Anyway, off they go to commune with Emily Bronte, and there Millie connects with a very hunky bartender in what is a rather unbelievable and jarring plot twist.

However, I'm a sucker for these kinds of films.  Remember "Beaches?"  I cried my eyes out.  Though this is not in the same league as "Beaches," because how can you compete with Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey? - but it's that kind of film so keep some hankies handy.

I don't know why, but I havn't likedToni Colette since she lost weight after making a splash in "Muriel's Wedding," her breakout film.  Maybe it's because she's now too skinny.  And likewise, despite what appears to be Drew Barrymore's ever present optimism and good nature, I haven't really connected with her either.  Maybe I have seen her too many times on late night talk shows being sunny and chipper.  I guess I'm not particularly into sunny and chipper.  But the two are good together here and you believe the friendship.

The gifted and handsome Dominic Cooper, who cut a swath as Ian Fleming in the 2014 British mini-series "Fleming" and has been everywhere you look ever since, plays Millie's husband and Paddy Considine plays Jago, Jess's quirky husband.  Both add a dimension to the story by not being the stereotypical husbands who are insensitive to their wives' struggles.

Written by Morwenna Banks and directed by Catherine Hardwicke, this film avoids sappy sentimentality when tackling Millie's cancer and Jess's struggle to have a baby, but the strength of this film is how well it captures that special bond that really close girlfriends share, one that exists on its own apart from husbands and family, so, I guess, it's only fitting that it was also written and directed by women.

Rosy the Reviewer says...the two may not be Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey but they have chemistry and pull you in.  The message?  Girlfriends transcend husbands.  Remember that ladies.  Keep your husbands close but your girlfriends closer.





***My 1001 Movies I Must See Before I Die Project***



238 to go!

Have YOU seen this classic film?






The Naked Spur (1953)


Three bounty hunters and a woman work together (sort of) to bring a man to justice.

Howard Kemp (Jimmy Stewart) is on the trail of killer Ben Vandergroat (Robert Ryan) when he runs into miner Jesse Tate (Millard Mitchell).  Tate had seen a cold fire down the trail aways (I'm talking western talk), so Kemp enlists Tate to help him track Vandergroat.  Tate thinks Kemp is a lawman, but later learns he is a bounty hunter and Vandergroat is worth $5000.  The two also encounter Roy Anderson (Ralph Meeker), a less than honorable cavalry lieutenant, and when Anderson uncovers that Kemp is not a lawman but a bounty hunter, Tate and Anderson want in on the loot.

As the film progresses, it is revealed that Kemp is a sort of sad sack who needs the reward money to buy back the ranch his wife sold when she ran off with another man while Kemp was fighting in the Civil War. He is not a happy man.

After a shoot-out, the three capture Vandergroat, who just happens to be traveling with Lena (a young and beautiful Janet Leigh), and all kinds of sexual tension occurs not to mention the greed that erupts over that $5000 reward. 

"Plain arithmetic.  Money splits better two ways instead of three," says Vandergroat, trying to goad Kemp, Tate and Anderson into turning on each other.

There is also a big gunfight between Native Americans and our bounty hunters which doesn't really figure in the plot, though supposedly Anderson was dallying with one of their women.  But it almost feels like a gratuitous knee jerk accommodation to the whole "cowboys and Indians" mentality of the 1950's and I didn't think it was necessary.

Director Anthony Mann made three westerns with Jimmy Stewart, but I am still having trouble with Jimmy Stewart as a western star.  He's too twitchy.  He works better in Hitchcock films (he starred in four) as a guy caught up in a plot he can't figure out.  Robert Ryan as Vandergroat actually had the flashier part here.

Why it's a Must See: "What makes this an exceptional film is, first, the tautly scripted and finely acted exploration of the tensions between the characters...Second Mann has a wonderful way with mountain scenery, using the arduous nature of the terrain as a physical counterpoint to the characters' inner turmoil."
---"1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die"

The film was shot entirely on location but the scenery is so gorgeous it almost looks like a fake backdrop.

I have never been a big fan of westerns, but when I tell myself that westerns are just melodramas with horses, I like them better, but not that much better.  I don't like the dearth of women, the wide open spaces, the gun fights, horses falling down and the fights with Native Americans where the cowboys usually win.  However, all of that not withstanding, the plot also kind of bored me and the soundtrack...well, hearing "Beautiful Dreamer" every time there was a sensitive moment almost drove me nuts.




See what I mean?

Rosy the Reviewer says...if you like westerns, this one has lots of testosterone and heroics so you will probably like it, but I never did find out what a naked spur was.


 
 
***Book of the Week***





Kitchens of the Great Midwest by J. Ryan Stradal (2016)



How great chefs are made...a novel.

Lars Thorvald lives in the Twin Cities and can't be happier.  After thinking he would be alone forever, he is married to the love of his life, Cynthia, and has a daughter, Eva, who he would die for.  Well, don't wish for something... Cynthia leaves him to become a sommelier and tragedy befalls him.

Eva has tragedy in her life but also has an amazing palate.  At the age of 11, she is already raising hot peppers and gradually works her way into kitchens around the Midwest until she becomes a chef famous for her "pop-up" dinners that cost $5000 per person.  Different characters weave in and out of her life as Eva moves toward her bliss.

But this novel is not just about Eva. This is one of those novels where seemingly unrelated characters are introduced chapter by chapter and then all come together at the end as we discover their relationship to her.  But though that kind of plotline has been done before, Stradal uses some interesting literary devices to take a fresh approach.  And there are recipes, recipes that all play a role in Eva's journey to become a great chef.

Stradal comments about mothers and daughters, regret, and missed opportunities.  His female characters show an understanding of women, and he is actually at his best when focusing on Eva and her journey to chefdom, but he also really captures the spirit of the Midwest.  I should know.  I grew up there.

Stradal also has a lot to say about our current food snobbism.

One of the characters has traveled all the way from Iowa to Minneapolis to enter her award-winning cookie bars in a national competition only to be sneered at by foodies who can't believe she used actual butter, not almond butter, but actual butter from cows, cows that were not necessarily hormone-free.  She is accused of trying to trick people into eating food that is bad for them.

"Her family, God was telling her, was all that mattered.  Not the judgment of these people and their awful food.  She suddenly felt sorry for these people, for perverting the food of their childhood, the food of their mothers and grandmothers, and rejecting its unconditional love in favor of what?  What?  Pat did not understand."

Well, I do.  When I was growing up, my mother made everything from scratch, but I was a very finicky eater.  Not a foodie, just finicky.  I would ask her what was in the food and she would reply, "Flour, butter, sugar, milk...all good things."  And you know what?  She was right because back them those ingredients were not verboten but they were also not rife with additives either.

Rosy the Reviewer says...if you like a good story about food with engaging characters...and recipes...you will love this book.


 
That's it for this week!
 
Thanks for reading!

 
 
See you Tuesday for

 


"Fashion Essentials
for a Woman of a Certain Age"


  



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Tuesday, August 30, 2016

How Not to Act Old: Do's and Don'ts

I was sitting in a movie theatre recently, the lights were down, the movie had begun and I was just getting ready to relax into a nice movie experience with my Starbucks latte I had smuggled in, when out of the darkness I, and the entire movie audience, heard "I CAN'T SEE!!  IT'S TOO DARK!" and two people entered the theatre, hanging onto each other, stumbling around in the dark with popcorn flying all over the place.  As they came up the stairs, the woman was groping all around for a seat - "I CAN'T SEE, I CAN'T SEE - and almost sat on my lap.   I didn't need to have laser vision to know that these were

OLD PEOPLE!

As we age, many of us certainly don't want to look old.  I tackled that issue a couple of years ago in my blog post, "How Not To Look Old."  However, I think it's even more important to not ACT old. 

Acting old is less about age and more about acting in a way that makes people shake their heads and think, "Shoot me if I ever act like that when I get old!"  For some reason when we get old, we sometimes fall victim to our aches and pains, our disappointments, our facing that final chapter and just give up. Some of us regress to a child-like, clueless stage where we think it's OK to do whatever we want and to hell with everyone else.  While that can be liberating to a certain extent, I disagree with that approach.  I think that when we get old, we need to be even more aware of our behavior in order to, not only be a good example to the younger generation, but to avoid being incredibly annoying to everyone else.

So since I myself am old, have some experience with some of these issues and don't want to repeat them and certainly do not want to turn into that stereotypical old person yelling at kids to get off my lawn, I have been thinking about this a lot (because I am retired and have lots of time to think about stuff like this). 

I thought I would share with my fellow seniors some things I have come up with, some do's and don'ts, if you will, on how to avoid making a spectacle of yourself as you fall into old age.

And for those of you who do not consider yourselves old, well, this is also for you because you will join us at some point.

So without further ado, for your enjoyment and possible enlightenment, some Do's and Don'ts about how NOT to act old.





DON'TS:


  • Don't talk loudly in the movie theatre even if you can't see.
Getting back to that incident in the movie theatre, first of all, to avoid having to talk loudly about not being able to see in a darkened theatre, DON'T arrive late.  If you can't see in the dark, make sure you get to the movie theatre before the lights go down.  But should you not make it in time, DON'T announce to the entire theatre that you can't see.  Stumble around quietly...and DON'T sit on my lap!  And during the movie, DON'T make comments about how the lead character is treating her daughter or critique her clothes or exclaim out loud about how adorable that baby is.  Even if you whisper, WE CAN HEAR YOU! You are giving all of us old folks a bad name!





  • Don't wait until you get up to the checker at the grocery story to fish around for your wallet or your check book. 

First of all, I want to ask.  What have you been doing this whole time you were waiting in line?  Reading "The National Enquirer?"  Your wallet should be out and if you are writing a check, which, I hate to tell you, pegs you as an old person right there because no one writes checks at the grocery story anymore, your checkbook should be in hand.  Better yet, use your debit card or pay cash.  And speaking of cash, DON'T count out exact change if you have to fumble around in a teeny-tiny change purse looking for it while I and my fellow grocery shoppers tap our feet behind you.  We are all thinking that we are glad we aren't THAT old!




  • Don't embarrass your kids on Facebook. 
If you are lucky enough to be "Friends" with your kids on Facebook, DON'T make personal comments that are better made in private or get into arguments on Facebook with your kids or their friends. In fact, be careful about most things you say on Facebook because most things will embarrass your kids.  Remember your comments are not just seen by your friends but all of your kids' friends and you don't want your kids making excuses for you like, "Don't mind her, she's OLD and doesn't know what she's talking about."





  • Don't show your ignorance about computers. 


It's one thing to choose not to use computers or the Internet, if you don't want to, but if you don't know anything about computers, don't flaunt it.  For example, throwing up your hands and saying to people "I don't know anything about those computers," as if your lack of knowledge is a badge of honor bestowed upon you for avoiding something dangerous, not only shows everyone you are old but kind of stupid.  Also DON'T repeat urban legends you have heard from other people who also don't know anything about computers.  Just being on a computer will not empty your bank account or take you unwillingly to porn sites (you have to want to go there). 

Not learning how to use a computer is your choice, but not learning means you are not taking advantage of all of the good things the Internet has to offer and refusing to be a part of the 21st century. You are never too old to learn something new so why not take some classes and learn how to use the computer?  I think a little birdie told me there are free classes available at the library. 

Likewise, speaking of Facebook, yes, Facebook is probably evil to a certain extent, but it also allows you to stay in touch with long-lost friends and your family members who might be flung all over the world. Joining Facebook is not going to instantly expose you to all kinds of bad people or steal your soul, as I have heard some old folks say. There are privacy settings you can put in place to protect you. If you don't feel you can figure that out, have your grandkids help you. 


  • Don't fall victim to a scam. 
Scams are now rampant and many of them are aimed at old people.  It's one thing BEING old.  You don't have to add to that by ACTING old and being naïve  enough to fall for some of these scams that are out there.  That not only marks you as old, old, old, but kind of dumb. 

For example, if you are alone and looking for love online, do you really think that an attractive, model-handsome 40-year-old who contacts you out of the blue wants to date a 70-year-old?  He may have contacted you and told you how beautiful you are, but trust me, you aren't.  Not to a 40-year-old anyway. He wants your money.  I don't mean to be harsh but it's called "catfishing" and there are all kinds of people out there ready to prey upon lonely, old men and women. Be realistic about yourself.

Likewise, make sure you keep in touch with your grandchildren so you know what their voices sound like, especially whether they have an accent or not, so you don't fall for the "Grandparents Scam." (I only mention the accent because most of these scams are coming from call centers in other countries).  The "Grandparents Scam" is one where you get a phone call from someone claiming to be your grandson or granddaughter.  The scammers take the chance that you don't know what your adult grandchild sounds like. Your supposed grandchild tells you he or she is in a Mexican prison (or any foreign prison that sounds scary) and for you to please wire some money so he or she can get out...oh, and, by the way, PLEASE don't tell Mom and Dad.  Yes, people, this one works or the scammers wouldn't be doing it.  So if you get a phone call from a phone number you don't recognize and the person says..."Grandmaaaa" in a voice you don't recognize, hang up."  And by the way, why are you answering the phone when you don't recognize the phone number?  I am assuming you have caller ID?  If not, another sign you are OLD!

Likewise, if you get a phone call from someone claiming to be from the IRS or the U.S. Treasury Department telling you that you owe them money, hang up.  The IRS and the Treasury Department do not make these kinds of calls nor do they ask for your credit card or bank account information over the phone. 

Another popular scam is a phone call or email telling you that you have won the lottery in Ireland or some other country.  Great, but first you need to pay the taxes on the money so before you can collect the 100,000 euros, you need to wire them $10,000. You really aren't going to fall for that one, are you?

If you don't want to not only be branded as old, but also stupid, do not engage these people and do not fall for something that is too good to be true.  And just so you think this will never happen to you, I have had all of these phone calls myself.  I am on some old peoples' list.  We just had one this morning! 

The only thing I haven't experienced is looking for love online.  I don't need to because I have Hubby, but if he goes to that big rock concert in the sky before I do, I can certainly tell you I won't be looking for another man, not online or anywhere else.  I did my bit where that's concerned.

Anyway, to avoid these phone scams which are aimed at old people because we are the folks most likely to be home and most likely to answer the phone, don't answer the phone if you don't recognize the phone number and if you don't have caller ID, get it.





  • Don't drive like an old person. 

That means driving in the left lane and staying there no matter what, leaving your blinker on, driving the speed limit to make sure everyone else does too (acting like a sort of hall monitor, but for cars) and being clueless about what is going on around you - DON'T, but if you do any of those things, you shouldn't be surprised when you get the finger from time to time.




  • Don't use your medical issues as a topic of conversation. 
Yes, I know it's no fun to have to deal with some of the physical ailments that accompany getting older and a little sympathy is nice.  But unfortunately, no one really wants to hear about them. All I can say with that is, if that is all you can think of to talk about, maybe you need to start reading some books.




  • Don't play the age card
"Well, I've been around the block a time or two and I think I know a bit more about that topic than you do."

You don't want to do this with your kids, your peers, not at work, not at all.  For one thing, no one cares what you think, no one likes a know-it-all, and they are going to do what they want anyway.  It's also a guaranteed conversation stopper, and why remind everyone that you are old?  They can see for themselves.  And acting like you know what is best for everyone just because you have been around the block a time or two or five, doesn't mean you know more than anyone else. 

Show the wisdom of being old by zipping your lips.




  • Don't... go gentle into that good night
Poet Dylan Thomas had it right.  Never give up no matter how old you are or how bad things might get. DON'T give up.  No matter what life throws at you, keep going.  You did that when you were young, why not keep doing it now?

"Do not go gentle into that good night."



So those are some things all of us old folks should work on.

But it's not all bad news. 



There are actually some things you can do so you won't call attention to the fact that you are old.  These things might also help you enjoy the process a bit more.


DO's:


  • Do enjoy every moment you have left. 
Doing what you love and being happy will keep you forever young. If you have dreams or that proverbial bucket list, it's now or never.  Get on with it.  I always dreamed of being a movie critic and now I can kind of say I am one with my blog and my Friday reviews (by the way, this Friday, I will be reviewing "Hell or High Water," an absolutely fabulous film)!




  • Do kick up your heels and get down front!






If you like going to concerts to relive the rock & roll glory that was our growing up years (or any lively pursuit), do it!  And don't be afraid to get down front where the action is, literally and figuratively.  Who knows?
You might get a guitar pick or a drum stick or even a handshake from a rock & roll god - literally.  And if concerts aren't your thing, "getting down front" works the same for anything you enjoy. 

It's a state of mind. Don't be afraid. Go for it!  Get down front!






  • Do hang out with young people. 

Don't just stick with people your own age, especially if you live in a 52+ housing situation.  Spending time with the younger generation will make you realize that you may be old physically but you are still relevant.  You have much to share, but you also still have much to learn.




  • Do volunteer. 
I certainly don't want to get another job but volunteering has allowed me to live out an ambition I had when I was young.  One thing I wanted to do was be a counselor (that was along with being a writer, actress, and generally fabulous woman) and through a volunteer program that I am a part of, I support other seniors who are going through some life transitions.  I hope I am helping them, but I know I am also helping myself because it is a life affirming activity where I learn how to listen, how to have compassion for others and gratitude for what I have, and a feeling of connection to others.

Doing something for other people through volunteering reminds you that you are still a valuable part of the human race no matter how old you are.




  • Do keep current. 
Know what is going on in the world, in your town, in politics, music, fashion, restaurants...you may be retired from your job but you haven't retired from life.  Nothing says "I am old" more than not knowing what is going on and who is doing what to whom.




  • Do enjoy your retirement. 
If you are retired, enjoy the fact that you no longer have anyone bossing you around.  When I first retired, I felt guilty about walking away from a job I could have kept doing.  I also worried about my purpose in life now that I no longer had a job.  What I discovered was that my purpose was ME.  My existence was purpose enough so I stopped worrying and started to enjoy my freedom to be me.  If, like I was, you are struggling a bit with your retirement and feeling isolated and lost, you might be inspired by my blog post that I wrote last month, "The Key to a Happy Retirement."



Getting old is an inevitability, but it doesn't mean we need to give up on ourselves or complain or be annoying. Some of us go kicking and screaming into old age and some of us give up and fall into the old people stereotypes. Either way, we run the risk of becoming invisible and irrelevant. But if we stay away from the stereotypes and decide that we may be old physically, but we are still alive and relevant and happy, we can lessen that risk, avoid being annoying, and maybe no one will notice that we are old!

So here's the bottom line: If you don't want to be judged as old in a bad way, avoid becoming a curmudgeon, don't pontificate and act like a big know-it-all, learn to use a computer, don't get in people's way on the road, don't bore people with your medical history, don't fall in love with a Nigerian scammer, and heaven forbid, don't talk while I am trying to enjoy a movie. 

But DO enjoy yourself! You have earned it!

(I know I am sticking my neck out ranting about how not to act old when I myself am old.  So here's a deal.  If you see or hear me doing any of the things I am ranting about, I give you permission to give me as much crap as I am giving you now)!


What do you think? 

How have you avoided the pitfalls of acting
like an old, out-of-touch fuddy duddy?


Thanks for Reading!
 
See you Friday

for my review of



"Hell or High Water"
and 
  
The Week in Reviews
(What to See or Read and What to Avoid)

  
and the latest on

"My 1001 Movies I Must See Before  
 I Die Project."

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