What I Have Learned While Sheltering in Place During the 2020 Coronavirus Pandemic, Part 4: Ten Things I Am Going To Do When I Get Outta Here!

As I work my way through week seven of sheltering in place, I can't help but wonder what my life will be like when things loosen up a bit.  

I am worried that things will never be the same again. Just as 9/11 changed how we travel, there will no doubt be lifelong changes to our society even when the pandemic is no longer a threat.  Will we ever shake hands again?  Will we hug? Will we shun our fellow humans and become more isolated because we fear we will catch something from them? Will society as we know it fall apart?  Much to wonder about.

But I also can't help but wonder what I will do when and if I can leave the house again and do what I want, so....

I've been keeping a list and here it is!


l.  I am going to go to every restaurant and bar on the Monterey Peninsula.

You think I'm kidding.  I'm not. One of the all-time favorite things that Hubby and I like to do is dine out and, uh, drink, or I mean frequent cool bars and have a cocktail.  We have really missed not being able to go out and do that. 

So going to all of the  bars and restaurants on the Monterey Peninsula is my new project. And I am good at projects. Once I give myself a project, I see it to the end.  

I mean, you know I have been working on the "1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die.  When I started, I needed to watch over 600 films.  Now, seven years later, I have only 35 to go.

And when I moved to Seattle 15 years ago, I became very interested in the foodie scene there, so I made a list of all of the restaurants from A-Z and we worked our way through it.  We made it through "F" before I realized new restaurants were opening and some of them had names that started with the letters A-E so I needed a new strategy.  I changed to listing all of the restaurants by neighborhood so when we would go for a walk on the weekend in a neighborhood, I was ready.  I have to say that by the time we moved, we had been to practically every restaurant in Seattle.

At the same time, I found this book on the stair walks of Seattle so I decided we would do all of those.

A year and a half and 25 stair walks later...

Soooo...I am no stranger to long projects, and like I said, my number one project when I get outta here is to go to every bar and restaurant on the Monterey Peninsula.  If I can visit most of the restaurants and bars in Seattle, I certainly should be able to do the Monterey Peninsula and hopefully they will all still be here so -  see you there!


2.  Move in with my son's family!

Okay, I'm kidding with this one, but I am certainly planning on spending more time with my son, my daughter-in-law and my grandkids. Missing my family and not being able to spend time with them has been the most difficult part.

3.  Go on a mother-daughter trip with my daughter!

Like I said, I have really missed my family.  Everyone on both sides of our families have passed, so it's just us and our kids and our grandkids.  Since my daughter lives all the way across the country, I don't get to see her much in the best of times, but this has made it so much harder.  She and I had a great trip to New Orleans planned in mid-April.  Well, you know how that went and I was going to fly first class! But hopefully my daughter and I can have a do-over.  

Looking forward to it because of the great time we had when we explored New Mexico together and I am hoping there are more times like that to come.

4.  Go to the mall.

I know, I know...I pinky swear I won't buy anything.  I just want to feel normal again.  I like to wander around malls (and shop and buy stuff)! 


5.  Go to the library.

There is a saying, "Libraries will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no libraries," so it's particularly frustrating that this "time of no money" is a contagious time that forced libraries to be closed during a crucial period in our history, when so many people have lost their incomes and can use some free books and DVDs more than ever. I hope others have missed their libraries too and will support them even more in the future.


6.  Go to the gym.

I never thought I would ever say that I missed going to the gym but I do. It provides an outlet for exercise but it also got me out of the house and provided a place to read and listen to music which I am prone to do while on the elliptical. I need incentive to get on that old elliptical! And where else can you feel perfectly fine in head-to-toe animal print!

7.  Go to the movies.

Now this is a controversial one.  Will the whole "going to the movies thing" ever recover?  Will we actually go to the movies again and sit next to strangers?  And if so, what will that look like?  But as a lifelong movie lover, I can't imagine I will never sit in a theatre again and there is no better way to see James Bond than in a big theatre so going back to the movies is on my list.



8. Listen to live music.

Hubby is in a band - and it's not just any band. It's The Eldorados, named this year's Best Local Band by a poll taken by the Monterey County Weekly, so sheltering in place has been very frustrating for him as well.  He wants to play music!  And I want to hear them play it. 

I also want to hear some of my other favorite local bands or go to a concert.  It seems that live music venues which encourage people to gather and dance or sit in close quarters could be the last places to open but when they do I'm there!

9.  Take a road trip.

There are rumors the cops are looking for cars from outside their counties because we have all been ordered to stay home, so we have been pretty good about not venturing out.  And what fun is it to go on a road trip, anyway, if you can't stop for lunch and a drinky-winky?  So looking forward to getting in the car and doing some local exploring.



10.  Better yet, go back to Europe!



Many happy memories...

Venice.  

(No, that is not a crack pipe!)

Helping out the town crier in Chester, England

My sister relaxing on our narrowboat after we traversed the Oxford Canal 

(Oxford, England)

(Hubby drove - best vacation ever)!

The house where my Swedish grandmother was born in Ras, Sweden. 

(Glad we were able to spend time there as it has since burned down).

 

The Ice Bar, Stockholm, Sweden

The Blue Lagoon, Iceland

The Friet Museum, Bruges, Belgium
(Yes, it's a museum devoted to french fries, er, Belgian fries. Don't get them started about those damn French fries. It's Belgian fries!) 

Waiting for my crepe in the Marais, Paris

Highclere Castle (AKA Downton Abbey)

(It just happened to be open at a special time while we were there.  A friend alerted us and we had it all to ourselves!  I touched every curtain and piece of furniture in that place)!

Sorrento, Italy

Positano, Italy 

(with our frequent travel companions, my Swedish cousin, Jane and her husband, Lars) 

Rome

My "graduation" from the Guinness Storehouse, Dublin, Ireland
 (after our "private" tasting where we were all taught how to pull a pint).

My favorite City! - London!

So many happy memories. Thanks for indulging me. Looking back on all of that helped take me out of my lockdown funk. I just hope I can get myself on a plane again.



So that's my to-do list for when the lockdown is over.


But ultimately, I am going to take what I have learned from this unexpected "time out (see Part 2)," and live a better life.

I am doing much reflecting on my life and wondering what my life will look like after this is over. Will I get on a plane again?  Will I see another movie in a movie theatre?  Will I hug my friends? Will I figure out how to drink wine in a bar with a mask on?  I have been good about staying home and keeping my distance, so I hope I will live to find all of that out. 

But whether I do all of that, what is most important is how I want to live my life.  

I want my life to be about mindfulness, thoughtfulness, gratitude and love and that was something I was trying to do before this ever happened. However, a catastophe like this brings those goals into a sharper focus. Those are the most important things and I intend to keep doing them no matter what. 

Okay, now I am so ready for this to be over!

What are you looking forward to doing when it's safe to go out again?

Thanks for Reading!

And I Hope to See you Soon... 

Here and on my Rosy the Reviewer Facebook Page!

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to click on the share buttons to share it on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and LinkedIn, email it to your friends and LIKE me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/rosythereviewer 

What I Have Learned While Sheltering in Place During the 2020 Coronavirus Pandemic, Part 3: What I Do When I Am Having a Bad Day!

In this time of the Coronavirus, where most of us are in lockdown and facing fear and uncertainty, it's natural that we would have some bad days.  I know I do. It's only natural that after almost six weeks in quarantine I would miss my friends, my family, restaurants, live music, shopping -- my freedom!  Yes, despite my active inner life, there are days when I want to SCREAM!

But being in lockdown, I have learned what makes me happy when I am having a bad day, so I thought I would share with you in case some of these ideas might help you, when you, too, are having a bad day.

• I dress my dogs up as famous literary characters. (See if you can guess before looking at the answers).

Okay, Miss Havesham in "Great Expectations," you remember the old lady who never got over being jilted at the altar and not only lived in her wedding dress but still had her wedding cake out on the table - ew- and Hester Prynne from "The Scarlet Letter." The "A" is the giveaway, right?  Oh, c'mon, Mildred loves this.  

Duh...I know it's so obvious. It's Laura Ingalls Wilder in "Little House on the Prairie."

This sort of thing never ceases to cheer me up.


Believe me, I really am trying to be helpful here.


But moving on to some more practical things.  

• I remind myself what a good life I have had and still have.

I look at family pictures, past and present, and linger on some happy memories that remind me that I have had a good life.  And I still do, despite the inconveniences and challenges of the present. That helps bring me out of my funk.

• I read.

My mother once said that if I read books, I would never be lonely and she was right. When I am reading, I don't think about being lonely for one second.

(I just finished Elton John's memoir and it's one of the best rock and roll autobiographies I have ever read).  He is funny, self-deprecating and knows everyone so the whole experience brought a smile to my face! I felt like I was spending time with Elton himself. Reading can do that!)

• I Meditate.

I wrote a post about how I came to be interested in meditation ("A Little Meditation on a Little Meditation by an Unlikely Meditator") and my unlikely journey, because, believe me, I am not the sort of person you would think would be into meditation. But after practicing it off and on for several years, I find it has helped me, especially in times of crisis.  Ommm...

• I exercise.

I am fortunate to live in a beautiful town by the ocean so when it's a nice day outside, a walk in nature can take me away from my troubles.

• I drink wine!

Duh.

• I ask myself, what would Marie Kondo do? 

(Well, not really, but decluttering is certainly a thing that can take your mind off yourself for a bit).

Marie Kondo is a decluttering fanatic who tells us that we should get rid of anything that doesn't "spark joy."  We are supposed to hold the object up to our hearts and ask ourselves "Does this spark joy?"  So...

As I set about cleaning out my sock drawer I am asking, "Do these "You guac my world" avocado socks spark joy?  Maybe not.  Out they go!

 What about these "Nasty Rosie" socks? 

Well, for one thing, I think they are funny as hell and if thinking something is funny doesn't fall into the sparking joy category I don't know what does. KEEP!

But whatever clutter you are dealing with, there is a certain satisfaction in decluttering. Doing menial tasks can relax your mind, though, don't you find it frustrating when you always seem to end up with one sock without a mate? What's the deal with that?  Why is there always one sock left over? Where do missing socks go to die?

• I binge-watch TV.

I have already talked at length about my TV addiction ("Confessions of a TV Addict"), about my discovery of TV at the age of five, my happy memories of watching old movies with my Dad, 

the television keeping me company when my husband was sent to Vietnam six months after we were married, which was a very difficult and lonely time... 
I was at college and every night when I would get home after play rehearsal, Johnny Carson would keep me company (the picture is mostly for some context but try not to focus too much on those pants and glasses I am wearing. It was the late sixties before I discovered fringe and bell bottoms)!

There are those who delight in shaming those of us who enjoy television, but I am a child of television and am unashamed. It has played a role in various times of my life and now, once again, television is providing some companionship and diversion.  

When I am feeling down, settling in front of the TV with a glass of wine and some snacks takes me away from my troubles. And this whole binge watching concept is perfect for these endless days of sheltering in place, perfect for working my way through a series and watching it nonstop.  

I have already seen all episodes of the dramas "The Stranger (Netflix)," and "Little Fires Everywhere (Hulu);" two really good reality shows about fashion design, "Making the Cut (Amazon Prime)," and "Next in Fashion (Netflix);" the quirky Australian baking show, "Zumbo's Just Desserts (Netflix)," and now I am working on "Mrs. America (Hulu)" and reruns of "Curb Your Enthusiasm."  A strange by-product of a stay at home order is actually a television addict's dream. 

So if you love television, let your freak flag fly and indulge!  You may not get this chance again!

• I Bake

"The Great British Baking Show" (original title: "The Great British Bakeoff") isn't considered a panacea for practically everything for no reason. Watching that show can put you into not just a sugar buzz but a dream state (just ask Hubby who falls asleep as soon as the theme music comes on)!  

It's amazing that watching a bunch of amateur bakers can be so compelling, but it is. They are all talented bakers, but I think the show's popularity has something to do with the bakers being SO NICE!  They are in competition, but are also just so damn supportive of each other. It restores your faith in human nature.  And since they seem to be just regular folks, watching the show you might say to yourself, "I can do that."  Well, you probably can't, but there is a certain satisfaction in trying to, putting eggs, sugar and flour together to make something delicious. That you can do. 

And not only do you have the reward of eating what you bake, baking can return you to some happy childhood memories (I hope you have some!). 

• I reach out to someone who might need a boost.

I might check in on a friend who is sheltering in place alone, who might be depressed or I might make a point to remind a friend of a happy memory or something I like about them. Thinking of others and trying to do something nice for them or to help them is the best way to stop thinking about myself.

• I write down my feelings.

If you haven't figured this out already, writing down what I am feeling, sharing my thoughts, is something I like to do, hence my blogging history.  Whether it's ragging on a movie I didn't like or raving about a book I did like or just sharing with you my pet peeves, I have a need to communicate, to share my feelings, and when I do - I feel better!  We all want to be seen and heard and when we get that, a bad day can turn into a good one.

• I have a laugh.

Whether it's playing virtual games of "Cards Against Humanity" with friends or watching Ricky Gervais or "This is Spinal Tap" or even making fun of myself, I find a way to have something to laugh about and that usually makes me forget I'm having a bad day.  

I am particularly partial to dog vs. cat cartoons!

See, don't you feel better now?

• I have a routine and a schedule.

But when all is said and done, this is a time when we don't have control over events, and a loss of control can cause all kinds of negative feelings.  So for me, during this challenging time, having a schedule helps me cope with my bad days.  I treat this staying at home thing like a job, and like most jobs, there is a routine.  There is comfort in having a routine and some days I even write down what I want to accomplish in the coming days, whether it's cleaning out my sock drawer or cooking a nice dinner, I have a list of activities to choose from when I am at loose ends.  Having projects and things I plan to do, and then accomplishing them can turn a bad day into at least a better one.

• I let myself feel bad.

Sometimes, though, I just go with my feelings, feel sorry for myself and wallow a bit. And that's okay, too, because I know that there is one thing I can count on.  Change. Just as this pandemic will eventually pass, so will this bad day.

So I hope that in sharing what I do to keep my head up during this challenging time, some of these ideas might help you to keep your head up, too.

Take care everyone and stay safe!

Now it's your turn.

What do you do when you are having a bad day? 

Thanks for Reading!

And I Hope to See you Soon... 

Here and on my Rosy the Reviewer Facebook Page!

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to click on the share buttons to share it on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and LinkedIn, email it to your friends and LIKE me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/rosythereviewer 

What I Have Learned While Sheltering in Place During the 2020 Coronavirus Pandemic, Part 2: A Day in the Life and Some Realizations

One of my Facebook friends recently posted a question on Facebook, asking people what their days were like now that we are all sheltering in place, wondering if they had a particular routine. So naturally, I wanted to weigh in, but in so doing, I have also had some major realizations.


So first, this is what for me is a typical day:



6am:  Hubby gets up.


I don't.

7am:  Zzzzzz

8am:  Zzzzzz

9am:  Zzzzz

9:15:  Yawn

Well, this is what I like to think I am like when I wake up, that I wake up all happy with little birds singing on my window sill, but...

actually it's more like this!

I am NOT a morning person!

9:30:  Get up and fix my special breakfast drink - orange juice with Pellegrino (makes me feel like I am having a Mimosa for breakfast) followed by a cup of tea (I am not a breakfast person, either), which I drink while reading magazines or whatever book I am working on.

10:30: I watch "The View." Watching "The View" has been part of my routine for so long that it feels like I am having a political discussion with my girlfriends (and yes, I sometimes talk back to the TV). It relaxes me. And I know, it is on at 10am but I have it set on my DVR, so that if I watch it after it has already started I can whiz through the commercials. I hate commercials! Having to watch a bunch of commercials just might push me over the edge!

11:30:  Make the bed, get dressed, that kind of thing - should I take a shower?

Nah...why bother?




Noon: Meditate while Hubby is walking the dogs.

(Like I could actually get into that position)!



12:30:  Exercise

(Like I could actually do that.  When I am not out walking, I work out with YouTube videos but I have learned that many of the workout videos on YouTube are kind of lame)


1pm: Work on this blog or some other important computer project I have planned liked watching videos of cute puppies on YouTube.

2pm:  Housework - washing clothes, ironing, cleaning out the garage.  I usually have a list of things I want to get accomplished.  Old habits die hard.
(have to do that stuff some time - my cleaners are also on lockdown)!

3pm:  Watch a movie, because, after all, I am still Rosy the Reviewer!

5pm:  Hubby gets off work so it's Happy Hour!
(and sometimes virtual Happy Hour with friends - and I have to say that as much as I miss seeing my friends in the flesh this virtual thing sure is easy - don't have to make food or clean the toilet)!

5pm:  Get dinner ready

6pm:  Dinner



7pm:  Jeopardy.  Since we can't meet up with our trivia team - The Famous Shagalots - Hubby and I get our trivia kicks hanging out with Alex Trebeck and competing against each other while watching Jeopardy.  (Btw, I say The FAMOUS Shagalots because we have won at every venue we have played. And if you are wondering, yes, the team name is ironic)!

8pm:  The rest of the evening is usually followed by lots and lots of TV (here is what I have been watching), a movie or some Me Time.

(Except I don't have a cat)!

11pm:  Bedtime...

unless I am on a roll.  I stay up late a couple of times a week, more because I am too lazy to get ready for bed than that I am doing anything important.  I have always been a bit of a night owl.

So that in general is how my life goes now in this time of sheltering in place, give or take some of the time frames and/or activities. 

But I have to admit, that's pretty much how my life went before, except now instead of leaving the house, my day or evening is broken up by online card games with friends, FaceTime with family members or friends, occasional trips to the store, cooking marathons and some mini projects. But like I said, in general, my days are not that different from before the pandemic. I am retired, so I didn't have a job to go to.  Also, I actually like to be alone, to a certain extent and have always carved out some time to engage in solitary pursuits. I have always been sort of an "indoor girl," so it hasn't been the sacrifice for me that it has been for others, though I certainly have days when I want to scream "GET ME OUTTA HERE!"

But I learned early on that I am a creature of habit and need structure in my life, not just during the occasional pandemic where I have to stay home every day.  Even in the best of times, I had a routine and it's having a routine that is helping me get through this time now. I learned the importance of that when I retired after 40 years as a librarian.

When I retired, I had to ask myself, what was going to give me a reason to get up in the morning? What would be my purpose in life? What was I going to do all day?  So now you know.  But actually, I discovered blogging, volunteer work, meditation, a Fantasy Movie League, all kinds of activities that I didn't have time for when I was working and those activities gave me purpose.  And now within the confines of sheltering in place, I have built a mini-structure for my life and...my purpose?  Right now, it's to help protect myself and my fellow humans by staying home.

But the main difference now is that, since I can't go out, my basic routine is not broken up by outside influences like it was before.  I am not busy, busy, busy.  I don't have my usual volunteer work, lunch with friends, going out to hear Hubby play music, traveling, hanging out at the mall, going to the gym and all of the other activities that filled up my day before.  Now I have time to think.

Many of us have been caught up in the busyness of life, busy taking care of kids, busy running errands, busy working, busy fulfilling obligations, and we were not able to find the time to stop and think about what we really wanted out of life and what really mattered.

But now I have all of the time in the world to reflect and that reflection has led me to some realizations about what really matters and how I want my life to go when this over.

First of all - gratitude. I talked about that in my last blog post, but it bears repeating.  I am grateful for those friends, old and new, near and far, who have made the effort to check in and stay in touch.  It feels especially good when I am having a bad day. And I am grateful that my children and their children are well and in touch.

But it's not lost on me that I have privilege.  

I have not lost my job and I don't have young children to take care of and worry about.  There but for fortune...However, I can certainly relate.  It is not lost on me that if this had happened to Hubby and me 30 years ago, when we were living paycheck to paycheck with two young children, we would be suffering, just as so many are right now. So I am grateful for my life.  And I feel compassion for those who are suffering.  I plan to continue to practice gratitude and put that compassion to work by doing what I can for those who don't have the privileges I have.

I have also given some thought to my consumerism.  

Let me use my clothes "collection" as a metaphor. Let's just say, I have a crap load of clothes. All my life, shopping for and buying clothes has been a sort of hobby for me, like collecting stamps would be for a person whose passion that is.  I think my clothes habit stems from my not having the cute outfits that the popular girls had in middle school but we won't go into that now. As I shelter at home, it is not lost on me that I seem to wear nothing but workout clothes and sweats, sometimes the same outfit two days in a row (horrors!).

So when I look at my three closets full of clothes, I realize that I will probably never wear all of my clothes in this lifetime. It's a sobering thought. I realize I don't need any more clothes.  And like I said, all of those clothes are a metaphor, because it's not just clothes I am talking about.  It's consumerism in general. I realize that I have everything I need and I don't need much more of anything else. Sorry, Amazon.

Also with all of the news about how the environment has been helped by everyone staying at home - I mean those living in Los Angeles are seeing clear skies almost every day - I also want to be more conscious of what I am throwing away and what I can do to help the environment. I have always been conscious about it, but I want to be more conscious.

Likewise, though I am already volunteering as a peer counselor for seniors, I want to find out what other volunteer activities I can do to help those who aren't as fortunate as I am, who might be in real trouble especially after this is all over. As someone who was in public service for over 40 years, I realize that being of service is important to me. Even though I'm not working at a regular job anymore, it's still my purpose.

So I am learning to assess what I really need, not just now when I am stuck at home, but in the future. I am also having some realizations about how I want my life to go when I get out of this and back into the world. 

Sometimes it takes a worldwide pandemic for us to realize what really matters.

What have you learned or realized while sheltering in place?

Thanks for Reading!

And I Hope to See you Soon... 

Here and on my Rosy the Reviewer Facebook Page!

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to click on the share buttons to share it on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and LinkedIn, email it to your friends and LIKE me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/rosythereviewer