Tuesday, February 18, 2014

The Mother Daughter Connection: A Long Distance Birthday Wish from a Baby Boomer Mother

Experts say that the mother daughter bond is one of the most intense relationships a woman experiences.

But even though we may have experienced that intensity - regret, disappointment and sorrow, even - with our mothers, that fact is the furthest thing from our minds when our own daughters come into the world.


29 Years Ago


We are going to be different from our mothers.


Today is my daughter's 29th birthday, and though we live far apart and I can't celebrate it with her in person, I plan to celebrate it by remembering happy moments over the years.

First steps

Ever the gifted comedienne



And dramatic actress.




Always a fashion plate!
She knew early she would be a Stanford graduate!

Travels





Stanford achieved!


And she sings too!
New Life

Today 

New Career

Happy 29th Birthday to my daughter!

No matter what our relationship with our own mother was like, we were sure we would never make the same mistakes our mother made.

For those of us born in the baby boomer years, especially those of us who had our children late in life, the generation gap between our mothers and us was particularly great.  Our mothers couldn't have predicted the Beatles, the Women's Movement, the political protests or the sexual revolution.

So of course, it was going to be different for us.

What we didn't realize was we would make our own mistakes.

And so we did.  And so it will go.



My own mother did the best she could with what she had to work with.  She was not forthcoming with her feelings, so I was never sure how she felt about how I had turned out or what I did.  But I never doubted that she loved and cared about me. 

Despite the years, the experiences, the mistakes and the miles, I was inextricably connected to my mother.

When she died, I found a tattered little letter I had written to her as a very young child. 


It was printed carefully on lined paper and it read: 

to Mother
please.
   come and see me.
   know one loves me
   the way they youst
     to love me.
       I think your the
          one who love
            me the most.
              But if you
            do't love me just
              say so.
                But I Love
                     you.

                           love

And then in case she didn't know who it was from, I printed out my full name.

She had kept it for almost 50 years.


Time has erased what led me to write that letter to her, but time has not erased that little girl who wrote it or the mother she wrote it to - "the one who love me the most."

And we mothers are the ones who love the most!



See you Friday

for the

"Ten Best Films No One Ever Saw"

and

The Week in Reviews.

Thanks for reading!
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