It's A Librarian's Wonderful Life Redux

[Here is my own version of "It's a Wonderful Life," that was first published a couple of years ago.  I think it is particularly relevant now, so I updated it a bit and share it with you again as my holiday gift to you!]

OK, now be honest. 

How many times have you already watched “It’s a Wonderful Life” this holiday season? 

Cmon, be honest.

Most of us know the story –

Clarence, an angel who needs to earn his wings, comes down to earth to help a despondent George Bailey, who is contemplating suicide, to show George what life would have been like if he never existed.

It’s a fairy tale, but we watch this uplifting tale over and over because we all need reminding that we matter…that the world wouldn’t quite be the same if we were not in it.

Remember this?

(George has discovered his brother Harry’s tombstone)

Clarence: (explaining) Your brother, Harry Bailey, broke through the ice and was drowned at the age of nine.

George Bailey:  That’s a lie!  Harry Bailey went to war – he got the Congressional Medal of Honor, he saved the lives of every man on that transport.

Clarence:  Every man on that transport died!  Harry wasn’t there to save them, because you weren’t there to save Harry (when he broke through the ice).

Clarence goes on to tell George, “You’ve been given a great gift, George.  A chance to see what the world would be like without you.”

So this got me to thinking.

What would the world be like without libraries?

(sound of me thinking) Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do

FADE IN – NIGHT SEQUENCE

CLARA’S VOICE (that’s me – I’m Clara the Angel)

You sent for me sir?

FRANKLIN’S VOICE (He’s the Head of the Angels)

Yes, Clara, People on earth need our help.

CLARA’S VOICE

Splendid!  Are they sick?

FRANKLIN’S VOICE

No, worse.  They are not appreciating their libraries.

CLARA’S VOICE

Oh, dear, dear!  Their libraries!  Then I’ve only got an hour to dress.  What are they wearing now?  (I must be fashionable! – wink)

FRANKLIN’S VOICE

You will go to earth and show the people what the world would be like without libraries.

CLARA’S VOICE

Sir…If I should accomplish this mission – I mean—might I perhaps be able to secure library funding in perpetuity?  I’ve been waiting for over two hundred years now, sir…

FRANKLIN’S VOICE

Clara, you do a good job showing the people how valuable their libraries are and you will get that funding.

CLARA’S VOICE

Oh, thank you, sir.  Thank you.

The stars fade out from the screen, and a light, an indistinguishable blur is seen. The blur on the screen slowly begins to take form.  We see a group of young boys on top of a snow-covered hill. 

EXTERIOR FROZEN RIVER AND HILL – DAY

A group of boys is preparing to slide down the hill on large shovels.  One of them makes the slide and shoots out onto the ice of a frozen river at the bottom of the hill.

BOY: (as he slides down and reaches the bottom)

Yippee!  I can’t wait to get to the library and get the last book in the Raven Cycle series.  All the kids are reading that right now.

OTHER BOY: (shaking his head)

You idiot.  Don’t you read the papers?  All the libraries have closed.  Everyone took them for granted and they disappeared.

BOY: (crying) Oh, no.  My dad lost his job and said there is no money for anything extra.  How will I get that book?

DISSOLVE

Boy’s home

INTERIOR LIVING ROOM

BOY’S DAD: (talking to his wife)

Sorry, honey.  I have been looking for a job for six months now and there just isn’t anything.  I had to cancel our Netflix, newspaper, Book of the Month, magazine and investments subscriptions.  And we can’t afford our Internet access anymore either.  But we can always go to the library for free DVDs and books and can read the magazines and newspapers there.  We can use their computers and I know they have investment materials too.

BOY’S MOTHER: (gently)

Oh, George, haven’t you heard?  There are no libraries anymore.

BOY’S DAD (let’s call him George.  I’m tired of typing “Boy’s Dad):

Oh, no.  I was taking their free computer classes to improve my computer skills to help me get that job. 

And the librarians were so helpful when I needed assistance filling out the online job application forms.  What am I going to do?

MILDRED: (the wife)

Well, at least we can go to Starbucks for internet access, can’t we?

GEORGE: (shaking his head)

I had to sell the laptop.

MILDRED:

Remember the last time we were asked to vote to support the library and we thought it was too much?  Now that we have to buy our books, DVDS, subscriptions, Internet access, investment newsletters, and all of the other services the library provided, what will it cost us?

GEORGE: (looking miserable)

I can’t even contemplate it.

MILDRED:

When I put it all together, what we would have to pay to get everything we were able to get at the library – all in one place – it was really a bargain.

I guess I will have to give up my genealogy research too.  I was using Ancestry and HeritageQuest at the library. They provided those databases for free.  Even if we had a computer and Internet access, we wouldn’t be able to afford our own subscription.  What will I do?  I had just found my ancestor from the Revolutionary War, Ezekiel Tufnell.

DISSOLVE

OTHER BOY’S HOUSE

INTERIOR LIVING ROOM - DUSK

OTHER BOY (let’s call him Bill so I don’t have to type OTHER BOY all of the time) is sitting at the table with his mother, Mary, and his little 3-year-old sister, ZAZA. 

ZAZA: 

Mama, Mama, can’t wait to go to library to see Miss Susan and hear stowy.

MARY: 

Oh, Zaza, Mama is so sorry.  There is no library anymore and Miss Susan is gone.  She had to move away because people didn’t realize how important her story times were and how many children she was helping with the skills they needed to be successful in kindergarten.

Last I heard she was working in a diner in town.

ZAZA:  (crying) 

No stowy?

BILL: 

Mom, I need you to help me with my algebra tonight.

MARY:  (sighing)

Oh, Bill, you know I’m not good at math.  Can’t you use the Homework Help at the Lib…Oh, no….No more free Homework Help either.

BILL: 

And where will I go tomorrow after school when you are at work?  You know I always go there to get my homework done and use the computer. The teen librarian has some great programs on Wednesdays for teens too.

MARY: 

I’m sorry, Bill.  I, I, I just don’t know.  Let me think…

MARY’S VOICE: 

Oh why did I take my library for granted?

DISSOLVE

INTERIOR – LIVING ROOM

Several adults of all ages are sitting around a table.

ADULT #1: 

I am glad we can meet here for our book club now that the library is closed. 

I hear Maury and Angela won’t be joining us anymore because they can’t afford to buy the books.  I don’t think people realized what an asset the library was for people like us.  I’m a senior on a fixed income and going to the free programs at the library enriched my life immensely.  It also got me out of the house to meet my friends and other seniors.  I don’t know what I’m going to do now.

ADULT #2: 

I know. 

My cousin has his green card and was taking citizenship classes at the library.  Who knew? Those were the only free classes available.  Not sure what he will do if he has to pay someone.  He was also getting help with his English at one of their English as a Second Language classes.

ADULT#3: 

I was going to the library to get help researching my book.  The librarians were really helpful with the computer and making sure I was getting accurate information.  I don’t know what I am going to do now.  And without libraries, I am sure book sales will suffer.  Libraries buy a lot of books!

ADULT #4: 

I didn’t really think about the library.  I just thought it would always be there.

Do-do-do-do-do-do-do

DISSOLVE

An indistinguishable blur is seen. The blur fades to a starlit sky.

CLARA’S VOICE:

Strange, isn’t it?  Each library touches so many lives. 

When they aren’t around it leaves an awful hole, doesn’t it? 

FRANKLIN”S VOICE: 

I think you made your point, Clara.

DISSOLVE

CLOSE SHOT - Back to the present –Zaza and her mother and father hearing a bell ringing on their Christmas tree.

ZAZA:  (pointing)

Look Mama.  Miss Susan, the children's librarian, says, every time a bell rings a library gets funding.

MARY: 

That’s right, that’s right.

FADE TO BLACK

I said it was a fairy tale. 


But it's not a fairy tale that...


Libraries change lives.

Change yours and have a wonderful life by using your library card and supporting your library this holiday season and into the
New Year! 


Happy Holidays Everyone!



Thanks for reading!

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See you here Friday for the Week in Reviews!

How to Stay [Happily] Married for 30 Years

Hubby and I just celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary.

I can't believe we have been married for 30 years. 

That fact makes me reflect on what kept us together through all of the highs and lows of life during that time.

What does it take to stay happily married for 30 years?

Well, thank you for asking.  I do have some ideas about that.

Here are what I think are the necessary  ingredients to stay happily married for 30 years:

• Meet cute

This is a film term for the charming, ironic or amusing ways a guy and a girl meet in movie rom-coms, such as Woody Allen meeting Diane Keaton's Annie Hall on the tennis court. 

 Hubby and I "met cute" when he hit me on the head with a full can of beer in Big Sur, California, and we ended the night singing a duet of "Endless Love." 
(If you are interested, the full, and brilliantly entertaining, story can be found in my review of the remake of the movie "Endless Love" in my blog "The Best Films of 2013 that No One Saw"). 

But my point here is, if you "meet cute," together you can bore people endlessly at cocktail parties recounting how you met.  It's a bonding thing and will keep you together for 30 years at least. 

How 80's can you get?  Headband, armband and, Hubby, what's with the chest hair and the ciggy?

Also if you both are single when you meet, that helps. 

Getting together while cheating on your spouses or significant others doesn't bode well for the next 30 years.

• Kiss on bridges

     
       
Hubby and I have this tradition. 

 Not sure how it started, but whenever we walk across a bridge, we must kiss (I think Hubby started it. He's an affectionate guy).

The point here isn't that you must kiss on bridges to stay happily married for 30 years, but that you need little rituals that are just yours to add to that all important "history" that you need to make together.

• Take turns planning the wedding anniversary

I think I got this idea from a magazine article, but it has worked well over the years. 

The article said something about if you want your husband to remember your wedding anniversary, take turns planning what you will do to celebrate. 

So that's what we did.  Each year it's one of our turns to plan the event (Hubby get's the even years, I get the odd years). 

And I'm not talking about a card and dinner.  I am talking about planning something BIG.  Our anniversary celebrations have taken us as far from home as Paris and the UK and as close to home as British Columbia, but it has always constituted something special.  This year's celebration was Vancouver and the Okanagan wine country in B.C.  

And the article was right.  Hubby has never forgotten an anniversary, and we have had some wonderful adventures together.

In England's Lake District c. 1994 with my hair in an 80's "Flashdance" side pony.

At Lake Okanagan 2014 - wish I could still rock that 80's side-pony.

• Thoughtfulness

My father was the most thoughtful person on the planet so it's not easy to fill those shoes. 

I hope I have inherited some of his thoughtfulness, but being thoughtful also means recognizing when someone else is being thoughtful in all of its incarnations, large and small.

When Hubby fixes a big breakfast for himself (because as you know, I am not up yet) he always leaves me two pieces of bacon. He remembers things I am "wishing for." And he never forgets my birthday, Valentine's Day, our Anniversary, Mother's Day.  And when he travels, he always calls me every night before bed.

For my part, I try to be a "full-service wife and mother," meaning I don't forget to do what I am asked, I remember what people like and don't like, I think of fun things to do, I celebrate all accomplishments big and small, bring home gifts for no reason and anticipate what needs to be taken care of.

 

 

• Pull your weight

       
If you both contribute equally to the marriage, then there won't be any resentment. Contributing equally can take many forms.  

       
I always worked and there were times when I made more than Hubby and times when he made more than I did
(mostly he made more than I did.  Librarians aren't in it for the money). 
       
       
Even when we had children, I didn't say, "I'm staying home with the kids."  Much as I would have liked to (and I know I missed a lot), we couldn't afford it.  And I did have a career I cared about.  However, I often wonder what my life would have been if I had been a full-time Mom.  Maybe my kids would have liked me better.

And I am not saying that the people who stay home with the kids don't pull their weight.  They do.  It's not easy taking care of kids, but I think staying home with the kids also means housework, cooking and other household chores, so the person who commutes off to work each day doesn't have to add yet more to his or her list of duties.  That doesn't mean, however, that the person who goes off to work doesn't also have household duties and needs to take the burden off of the person staying home. 

This is something that needs to be decided between the two of you.  Whatever you decide, it must feel right to each of you - that no one is being taken advantage of.  Think of it this way.  You are basically roommates albeit roommates with benefits, but you wouldn't like it if your roommate was always late on the rent, left the bathroom dirty or ate all of your food without fixing you any. 

See "Be Considerate" below.

• Be considerate

       
More marriages than we can count have broken up over the toothpaste cap or the toilet seat.

      
 Hubby is a morning person.  I mean, he gets up at seven even when he doesn't have to.  I just don't get it, but at least he keeps things quiet for me while I am sleeping in because I am decidedly NOT a morning person.  He also will run to the store for me when I am cooking and suddenly realize I don't have those two eggs I thought I had, though they are probably gone because Hubby ate them.

       
On my part, I don't put walnuts in the brownies, I put things back after I use them, I am never late and I pick up after myself.  You can thank my Dad for that (except for the walnuts.  That's Hubby's thing).

• Interests in common; interests of your own

     
I think you need to have some common interests.  If not, you will never do anything together, or one of you will be resenting having to do things he or she doesn't want to do.  On the other hand, you want to have something interesting to bring to the table and that only happens if you also have your own interests, friends and activities.

For example:

Hubby likes sports; I don't (but I sometimes let him talk to me about them).
Hubby plays golf; I don't.
Hubby is in a band; I'm not (but I usually go watch him play so some groupie doesn't get him.  That's important for staying married too!)

I like to watch "Ru Paul's Drag Race;" Hubby doesn't, but he's not judgmental.
I write a blog; Hubby doesn't (but he shares it).
I meditate; Hubby doesn't.
I like to shop for clothes; Hubby fumes. 

But we both love fine dining, wine tasting, concerts, theatre, travel, dogs, stair walking and going to the gym.  Well, the gym, not so much.

One of the Seattle stairs we walked.

• If one of you is bossy, then the other one can't be. 

        Bossy?  Hello, that's me. 

This child may not look bossy, but at seven she already knew how to pose and tell people what to do, so I rest my case.  Believe it or not, I am in a fashion show here rocking the latest fashion in pajamas for seven-year-olds with a little bunny as an accessory.

But by bossy, I mean I like to get things done, don't like procrastination, don't like being late, don't like lazy, so there is a certain amount of nagging going on.  Hubby certainly doesn't like to be bossed around or nagged, but he will be the first to admit my sometimes Teutonic methods have helped him. 

Being bossy, though, does not mean thinking I am always right, needing the last word or being a know-it-all.  That's Hubby's department. 

I can see the "smart-ass" element already forming.

In our early days, we argued more about the "being right" thing, but now I say, "OK, fine, whatever," knowing that if I really cared, I would look it up and point out the error of Hubby's ways (and he is wrong a lot).  But if you spend all of your time looking things up to prove someone wrong, then you won't have a life, will you? 

So he lets me boss him to a certain extent, and I let him think he is right, and answer questions about which he has no knowledge whatsoever.  The family joke used to be calling him "Mr. Know-It-All."  "He will answer any question whether he knows the answer to it or not including rhetorical questions."

Which leads me to the next criteria. 

• Having a sense of humor.

Hubby makes me laugh and also has allowed himself to be the subject of a bit of family ridicule.  It's his own fault.  Once the family started watching "The Simpsons (and we were there from Day 1)," and Hubby started imitating Homer doing "Doh!," what did he expect?  It made the kids laugh, but he was forever after Homer.

But, the point is, he has a sense of humor about himself which is absolutely essential.  I feel I do, too.  If you can't make fun of yourself, you shouldn't be making fun of anyone else, says Ms. Bossypants.

I also make Hubby laugh because he gets a kick out of my foibles and my sense of humor.  He gets me.  And he still thinks I'm cute.

• Be on the same page in the bedroom, if you know what I mean.

       That's all I am going to say about that.

• Happy Hour

      
You can call it Happy Hour, sitting by the fire, reading together, whatever rings your bell. It's a euphemism for spending time alone together.  But the important thing is spending time together, quality time, no kids. 

       
Don't get me wrong, we adored our children, but I don't think we would have been doing them any favors by letting them stay up until they dropped.  No, they had a bedtime and we adhered to it.  And, yes, sometimes it wasn't necessarily convenient to "do bedtime," but we did.  I even did it when I was going through a terrible divorce, because it is comforting to a child to have a routine.  I would do "The Old Gray Mare (on my hands and knees, child on my back, singing)," perhaps there would be another song, then bath, two stories and then lights out. 

      
Then it was "adult time."  

      
Now that the kids are gone, we still make time for each other. 

      
At the end of the day, we get together on the deck or in the kitchen, share a cocktail and talk...or sing.  Out on the deck, we might crank up Pandora and enjoy our surroundings.

       
We are known to sing The Animals' "We Gotta Get Outta this Place" at the top of our lungs.  What the neighbors must think.  Who cares?

       
Each person needs to feel the other really wants to spend time with them. And it needs to be fun. You are supposed to be each other's best friends, right? If you can't do that, you might want to figure out if you really like spending time together without your kids, because once they are gone, what will you talk about? Do you have fun together, just the two of you?

Finally and probably most important,

• Commitment.

       
None of what I have written will make any difference at all if you don't want to stay married.

       
When I discovered my ex-husband had been cheating on me with a coed, while we had a two-year-old son and I was slaving away to put my ex through college, I was devastated.  But what hurt even more was when I still tried to make it work, and I asked him if he wanted to stay married to me and he said he didn't know.  Wrong answer!

       
You will never make it for 10 years let alone 30 if the commitment is not there, because there will be times when you might resent or even hate your spouse for awhile.  Stuff will happen that you will both need to go through, stuff that isn't fun. There will be temptations. If you are not committed, forget it.  You just won't want to make the effort.

It's your choice.  Every day you need to *choose* to love, choose to forgive, choose to stay together.

I don't mean to preach.  I'm just celebrating.  After all, it's been 30 years.

       
I really don't have all of the answers by any means.  I just know that somehow, through thick and thin, Hubby and I are still together after 30 years.  My parents and Hubby's parents were together for over 50, so we have some years to go.  But at least, this is what has gotten us this far. 

And we still love each other.  And we still have had fun together.

       
Sure, you need to be on the same page about money and child rearing, but more than that, it's a shared history, it's those little things like kissing on bridges and going on stair walks, it's your shared love of your children, it's being best friends, it's having fun, it's wanting to stay married.

         
If that helps anyone, then I am happy.

          
And who knows? I could get served with divorce papers tomorrow. 

         
This is just how we got through 30 years.  If I make it the next 20, I will probably have more to say when I write, "How to stay married for 50 years," if I can still write...or see...or sit up...or stop drooling...

What are your tips

for a happy marriage?

See you Friday for

"Movies that make you go...What the...?
and The Week in Reviews"

 

Thanks for reading!

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