Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Why Have a Child?

Since I have already taken on the task of answering the questions "Why Have a Husband?" and "Why Have a Wife?" I thought I should also tackle that other hot potato, "Why Have a Child?"

(Now it's time for the little ones to leave the room so that their little ears will not hear something they can't handle).

When you have a child, you will discover new interests, activities and insights into yourself that you never knew existed.

You will realize that you thrive on drama!

When you have a child...

You will attend more sporting events than you ever thought possible, some at 8am on a Saturday morning with the winds from Hell, er, cold winds blasting sand and dirt over the bleachers while five year olds try to hit T-balls.  You will encounter strange sights on the ball field, such as a bored outfielder throwing his glove up in the air and catching it over and over while waiting for a ball to come his way.  It doesn't.

You will realize sleep is over-rated.

You and your significant other will come to the conclusion that neither of you ever really liked talking about books, films, current affairs or feelings.  You will discover that talking about whose turn it is to get up in the middle of the night to feed the baby, which pre-school in the area is the best and what baby's diaper rash looks like today are far more interesting topics.

You will enjoy never-before-heard piano variations of Mozart and Bach played to the sound of a metronome.

You will have new food experiences and discover that Kraft macaroni and cheese and fish sticks are actually really good.  The foodie in you enjoys finding ways to take mac and cheese to new levels such as mixing in bacon or hot dogs.

Interesting fashion choices will enter your life.

You discover that Catherine Deneuve was right when she said that as you age you have to choose between your face or your ass.  Since the baby, you have chosen your face and you actually like carrying around that extra 20 pounds.

You will get to realize your dream of owning a mini-van instead of a Lamborghini.

"Fine!," "That's not fair!," and "So?" will be a regular part of family conversations.

You will reacquaint yourself with the classics of children's literature - over and over and over and over and over again.  "Where the Wild Things Are" and "Goodnight, Moon" will be committed to memory.

You realize that "Because I said so" is the only way to end a "discussion" with your teenager.

You will finally find a way to spend that $200,000 you have managed to save after sweating and slaving your whole life and that is burning a hole in your pocket.  Oh, right, let's spend it on college!  How fun!  Well, it was the dream.


You realize that

You will have some of the happiest and some of the saddest days of your life.


(I don't have any pictures of the sad times.  Why would I?)

Unless you count this, which was written to make all of us parents cry.

(from "The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein)

But the main reason to have a child?

From the moment you first set eyes on your child, you will finally know how much you were loved by your own parents.

And if you are lucky you will get to experience the joys of grand parenting when your child, too, has a child. Or two.

You are part of the cycle
of love and life.

See you Friday

for my review of the new movie 
"Mission Impossible-Rogue Nation" 

The Week in Reviews
(What to See or Read and What to Avoid)

and the latest on

My 1001 Movies I Must See Before
 I Die Project."

And I will even throw in a restaurant review.

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