[I review Kevin Hart's new movie on Netflix "72 Hours," as well as the rom-com "You, Me & Tuscany," and the documentary "A Toxic Love Story."]
72 Hours (2026)
Joe Nixon (Hart) is a 40-something advertising executive in New York City who accidentally gets added to a group-chat of twenty-somethings mistakenly inviting him to an upcoming bachelor party in Miami. It just so happens that Joe is smarting from not getting the promotion he was expecting because he wasn't able to promote his company's vodka product effectively to young people. There was an insinuation that he is too old. So he gets the idea that if he goes to this bachelor party with these twenty-seomthings, he can get some valuable information that will help him promote the product to the younger generation and thus get his promotion. But he also kind of wants to get his youth back.
So even though these kids are strangers, Joe takes them up on the invitation and decides to impress them by paying for a lavish Air BNB and basically footing the bill for everything. When Joe arrives, the guys - Nick (Marcello Hernandez), Mason (Mason Gooding), Freshman (Kam Patterson) and Hunter (Ben Marshall) - are surprised Joe is "so old," so now Joe has to show them he can party as hard as they do, leading him to drugs and drinks and general chaos, including gangsters after them. Meanwhile, Hunter is nursing a broken heart, Nick is relentlessly picking on Mason about getting married and Freshman is clueless.
Written by Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg, Kevin Burrows, and Matt Mider and directed by Tim Story, old age and raunchy jokes abound along with projectile vomiting, a plethora of F-bombs and some helicopter penises (don't ask). Oh, and did I mention there were also whale penises and gangsters? Yawn. You would think with four writers on board, something would have worked but not fun or funny.
And Hernandez, Patterson and Marshall are writers and performers on "Saturday Night Live," so you would think that this movie would at least be as funny as SNL, but nope. The concept was funny, the execution not. Teyana Taylor makes an appearance as Joe's girlfriend but doesn't have much to do, and Kevin plays his usual perplexed, put-upon and overwhelmed persona but it's not enough. Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. You are a talentedly unpredictable and funny guy. What are you doing in this predictable, unfunny movie? If this was meant to boost your career, it didn't work.
Rosy the Reviewer says...watching this movie, I had to ask myself - When did comedies stop being funny? I haven't seen a funny comedy in a long, long time. And this is one of them. If you watch it, remember, I warned you. But maybe, like Joe, I was just the wrong demographic for this party. (Netflix)
You, Me & Tuscany (2026)
A aspiring American chef squats in an empty Italian villa pretending to be the owner's fiance, not realizing what she has gotten herself into.
Anna Montgomery (Halle Bailey) is a young wannabe chef who put her dreams on hold after the death of her mother. Now she works as a house sitter and has the bad habit of pretending to be the owner of the house, helping herself to their clothes and other accoutrements. However, when she is caught in the act, she loses a big client.
Drowning her sorrows in a bar, Anna meets Matteo Costa (Lorenzo de Moor), a handsome Italian real estate guy, who regales her with tales of his home in a charming village in Tuscany. He invites her back to his room but he falls asleep before anything happens. The next morning he is gone but leaves her a note apologizing for leaving but encouraging her to follow her dreams. Well, that's all it takes. Off Anna goes to Tuscany and, finding accommodations in Matteo's village all booked because of a festival, Anna also gets the bright idea to stay in Matteo's empty villa. She finds the hidden housekeys, lets herself in and plans to do what she always does - pretend she lives there. But then Matteo's mother, Gabriella (Isabella Ferrari) and his grandmother Alessia (Stefania Casini), show up. What should she do? Why, let's dig an even bigger hole and pretend to be engaged to Matteo.
The charade continues even after meeting Matteo's cousin, Michael (Rege-Jean Page), and finding a mutual attraction. And wouldn't you know, Matteo's father, Vincenzo (Paolo Sassanelli), owns a restaurant and Anna gets to help Matteo's father in his restaurant. Could it get any better?
But then, Matteo shows up.
Halle Bailey is a lovely young actress (her starring debut was in 2023's "The Little Mermaid"), but her gifts are not enough to save this very silly and unoriginal rom-com. Rom-com and Hallmark movie cliches abound. I know rom-coms can be silly but also charming, and, yes, even original. I enjoy them for the charming and original part. Sadly, this one lacks the charm, is not original and is actually kind of dumb.
And if you have been wondering where hearthrob Rege-Jean Page has gone after steaming up "Bridgerton" as the Duke of Hastings for the first season ("Bridgerton" was never the same after he left), here he is. And yes, he takes his shirt off. But even with that, all I can say is, Rege-Jean, get thee back to "Bridgerton!" Or at least to a project worthy of your talent and, yes, handsomeness. Written by Ryan and Kirsten Engle and directed by Kat Coiro, this is an unworthy piece of fluff and even the beautiful Tuscan landscape can't save it.
Rosy the Reviewer says...if you can totally suspend disbelief...and I mean totally...and you miss Page, you might enjoy this but at least wait until it streams for free. I certainly wish, I not only hadn't paid to rent it, but that I hadn't spent an hour and 45 minutes watching it. (for rent or purchase on Amazon Prime)
A Toxic Love Story (2026)
A newly married U.S. Marshall and his wife start receiving threatening emails supposedly from his ex-girlfriend...but are they really from her?
Angela Connell and U.S. Marshall, Ian Diaz, are newly married. But before that, Angela had a sketchy past trying to pass herself off as an attorney and cancer victim. But now the two are happily married but appear to be targeted by Ian's ex-girlfriend, Michelle Hadley, who they say is harassing them with emails wishing them dead using a "Lilithistruth" persona (Lilith was supposedly Adam’s first wife and when banished from Eden became a revenge-seeking demon - not good). And in Lilith fashion, she is also placing ads on Craigslist under Angela's name saying she has a rape fantasy so men with that same fantasy will come over to her house and rape her. Cops are called, restraining orders are in place but the harassment continues. Then Angela reports that a man has appeared at her home and attempted to rape her.
There are many twists and turns in this real life horror story, with interviews and police body cam footage documenting this story directed by Alexandra Lacey, who beautifully structures and paces the film to keep you absorbed to the very surprising ending.
Rosy the Reviewer says...if you like twisty-turny true crime documentaries, you will like this one. (Netflix)
